Help

snickersforeveryone · April 2014

I have no one else to talk to and I am really upset. I found out yesterday that my brother was arrested Thursday evening. He had an appointment at the VA, there was no parking, so he parked on the grass. A cop was right there and ran his info, discovering that my brother (J) was driving on a suspended license. I'm not sure why, but he searched J's car and found pot and a gun. Not only had my brother's concealed carry permit expired, but this was of course on federal property.

He is now in jail for the suspended license, held without bond until his court date on June 2. The charges for the gun and pot are pending because they are federal.

My mom is a wreck. She keeps blaming herself. It doesn't help that they had a huge fight just before his arrest.

I don't know why this stuff keeps happening. I don't know how to help my family though this. Does anyone have any advice? Anyone who has dealt with someone with addiction problems, do you have any insights on how best to be there for my brother? I love my brother no matter what, but is the man he used to be gone forever?

sarahandeddiejune212008 · April 2014

Do you know if your brother was there for a mental health or physical health visit? Does he suffer from ptsd? If he has been diagnosed with a mental issue he may be able to get some of the charges dropped because of it.

I'm surprised he can't get out on bail. It seems pretty harsh for him to sit in jail for over a month for driving while suspended.

I'm not sure about the federal charges. I know guns are banned from VA property so I'm not sure how that will go.

I'm sorry your family is going through this. My DH served in Iraq and is not the same person he was before. Thankfully he does not have any addiction issues, but he does have issues. I'll be praying for your brother and your family.

reinedecajun · April 2014

I'm sorry your family is going through this. It seems like he should be able to post bail on something so simple but then again it was on federal property so I dont know how that works.

My husband suffers from ptsd, he's rated 90% for it by the VA. It's very very hard to live with and its taken years to get his medications right to help him deal with daily life. Unfortunately the VA system is slow, very slow. All he can do is pursue them and push as hard as he can for his mental health.

We deal with my husbands addiction and burst of depression and rage constantly. Having someone there for him to talk to is the only thing that helps him. He's also on prozac.and anti anxiety medicine. Tell your mom its not her fault PTSD is hard on everyone. I hope your brother gets the help he needs.

Barefoot84 · April 2014

I don't have any advice, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. This is a really hard situation for everyone involved. I wish I could be of some help, but know that we're here to listen.

snickersforeveryone · April 2014

@reinedecajun‌ I don't understand why he can't post bail either. Probably because of where he was and the fact that he does have psychiatric problems. Maybe someone decided that he's a flight risk?

@sarahandeddiejune212008‌ he has never been officially diagnosed with anything besides being bipolar as far as I know. I know he has PTSD though...he's suffered a lot of trauma and it's obvious.

Thank you all for your kind words. My mom went to visit him today so I'm hoping to hear that he's OK.

snickersforeveryone · April 2014

@jennmm we're looking into it. My MIL still has some of that info from when my FIL was going through a rough time and she said she would go with us. As much as the woman gets on my nerves, she's been super supportive through it all. Im nervous about going but I think it will help.

grimesk12 · April 2014

I was going to say what Jennmm said about Al-Anon. When my DH and his family found out about BIL's addiction they went to Al-Anon and his mom also went to a counselor. They said it helped. I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts. Hugs.