Can we have a kid ransoms thread today?

nonoemily · April 2014

I need a giggle.

nonoemily · April 2014

Oh jeez. Good job, iPhone!

nonoemily · April 2014

I'm leaving it.

nonoemily · April 2014

DS loves berries and when he eats lots of them his tummy gets really big. I was so bloated yesterday that DS came and patted me on the tummy and said, "mommy tummy full of berries!"

Later, out of the blue, he said "Elkie big brother! Big like daddy!" And DH melted a little.

MomIn2013 · April 2014

DS has recently decided it's fun to go into my make-up drawer and randomly pull things out and carry them around the house. Yesterday when a repairman came to the door and I answered it, DS came up behind me carrying two tubes of mascara. The guy got a bit of a weird look on his face, so I'm thinking he must have been like WTF?

dizzycooks · April 2014

I posted a ransoms thread a while back too

Lately dd is into correcting everyone. The latest offender was the dog, her toys were scattered around the basement rather piled in the dog bed.
Dd looks at it: no no doggie, no. Doggie no, no no no doggie.
Me: are you upset her toys are out?
Dd:yes! Doggie no!
Me: well how about you clean them up then? Put them in her rug.
Dd: no. Mama do .
And then she walked away. Yeah those toys are still out, lol!

nonoemily · April 2014

Ooh, DS likes to say "No! Mama do it!" when i ask him to pick up after himself. It really boils my blood when he says it to DH. Apparently it hasn't gone unnoticed that mommy does all the picking up around here. :-L

AimeeL85 · April 2014

DS was running around the house last night doing random imaginative play and I hear "mastabate!" I said "what did you say?" "Mastabate!" I KNOW he doesn't know that word, not a chance, so I said "where did you hear that?" and he said it was from Team Umizoomi....so I know he's saying something different, I just don't know what...and I'm praying he doesn't think of it at preschool.

DD's favorite thing to do is open the cabinet in the kitchen, pull out all my strainers (like 5), and then stand there and lick them all over, one by one, and put them back.

caybeh · April 2014

I think we have entered the terrible two's. DS really wants to be independent, and so there is lots of whining and fits thrown.

Last night, DH was getting DS ready for bed. From what I could understand, DS didn't want to lay down to put on his diaper. Eventually after much crying and DH telling him he has to put on his diaper, they were successful.

So then DS comes to me as I was going to read stories before bed to him. I told him that he needs to listen to Daddy and do what Daddy says. DS crawls off my lap and says, "I say sorry to Daddy." We went and found DH and DS said sorry like ten times. It was sweet, but then turned into a stalling mechanism to get out of going to bed.

EandIMommy86 · April 2014

DD thinks it is funny to close every door in the house. She will close to front door and try to lock it also. The other day I was in the bathroom and she closed the door so that I was inside the bathroom and she was out, then went around the other side and looked at me. Lol.

lightgetsin · April 2014

Last night DS1 (3) was mad at DD2 (8) and told her: "Give me your iPad and go to your room!" I wonder where he heard that? hehehe

notreallyirish · April 2014

We were driving by Kroger and DS1 said something about the last time we went to Yogurt. I asked, "Do you mean Kroger?" He said yes, then quietly whispered to himself, "Kroger. Not yogurt."

raraavis28 · April 2014

The boys love their toy tractor w/ Old MacDonald and his animals. They like to pull out the animals one by one and say what sound it makes ("baa" for the sheep, etc).....when they pull out Old MacDonald they say "E-i-e-i-o!"

notreallyirish · April 2014

Oh, and this is not a kid funny but here's a good place to share. Yesterday I met a woman and her baby named A.varice (no periods, just don't want it googleable). For real. I didn't know how to respond.

I told DH I hope she plans 6 more so she can have a full set of deadly sins. He said he wants to meet Lust. I said she'd likely turn up in his (ob/gyn) office before too long.

Icjt · April 2014

We have been potty training. When DD gets on the pot she always say "go away." So earlier I let her go by herself since she can get up and down herself. She came and got me "come on, come on," got up on the pot and said "go away."

magentawarped · April 2014

Logan has started cracking this huge grin every time I pull out a boob to feed him. It is both adorable and creepy.

nonoemily · April 2014

joirish said:
Oh, and this is not a kid funny but here's a good place to share. Yesterday I met a woman and her baby named A.varice (no periods, just don't want it googleable). For real. I didn't know how to respond.

I told DH I hope she plans 6 more so she can have a full set of deadly sins. He said he wants to meet Lust. I said she'd likely turn up in his (ob/gyn) office before too long.

I had never heard this word before, I had to google it.
Wow.

zbeesma86 · April 2014

Me: Where's your elbow?

Z: *points to elbow* elbow-bow mama!

rockyrollgirl · April 2014

Same with the doors, she loves to close all the doors.

Throws her Little People in the trash.

Show her belly button to strangers at the store and start digging into it.

Throw her bath toys at me.

Bring me her Farm Animals book and just say the sound they make. The way she does pig is pretty funny.

Say clock over and over, but without the "L".

Oh and the fits.... she makes this loud pitch ugly scream and smacks me. I hold her hand and say, "do not hit". Then she falls on the floor and screams at me.

notreallyirish · April 2014

nonoemily said:

joirish said:
Oh, and this is not a kid funny but here's a good place to share. Yesterday I met a woman and her baby named A.varice (no periods, just don't want it googleable). For real. I didn't know how to respond.

I told DH I hope she plans 6 more so she can have a full set of deadly sins. He said he wants to meet Lust. I said she'd likely turn up in his (ob/gyn) office before too long.
I had never heard this word before, I had to google it.
Wow.

I don't think she had either. I can't imagine what was going through her mind naming her kid that. And I can't believe no one said anything before she did it. It's like the opposite of Puritan names like Temperance, Faith, Chastity.

nonoemily · April 2014

joirish said:

nonoemily said:

joirish said:
Oh, and this is not a kid funny but here's a good place to share. Yesterday I met a woman and her baby named A.varice (no periods, just don't want it googleable). For real. I didn't know how to respond.

I told DH I hope she plans 6 more so she can have a full set of deadly sins. He said he wants to meet Lust. I said she'd likely turn up in his (ob/gyn) office before too long.
I had never heard this word before, I had to google it.
Wow.
I don't think she had either. I can't imagine what was going through her mind naming her kid that. And I can't believe no one said anything before she did it. It's like the opposite of Puritan names like Temperance, Faith, Chastity.

I firmly believe in google image searching a name before I get attached to it.

JeffandLeslie · April 2014

Whenever DH is out of town DD always wants to look at our family picture and point out dada. Last night she pointed at his picture and said "tisses" and then licked the photo. I died of cute.

LoriLee14 · April 2014

So last night we had green beans with dinner. Little man asked if it was grass. I said, "sure, it's grass". He ate all of them and seconds. He has not eaten green beans since they were pureed.

chelseymat · April 2014

I put all three kids in the bath together and all the sudden DS2 yells "MOM! Grace doesn't have a penis" then he thinks for a minute and tells me "Grace can't go pee. She can only go poopie because her butt is in the front."

alli2672 · April 2014

DD (2.5) calls music "move it" as in "mommy, play some move it." And then she wiggles her tiny, diapered butt. It's pretty adorable.

thechickencoop · April 2014

I got our small suitcase out of the closet last night (H is going away tomorrow) DS unzipped it, laid down in it, then yelled for a blanket. I brought him one and he snuggled up and said 'seep' and pretended to lay there asleep for a few minutes. He's been playing pretty much nonstop with the suitcase today too...haha.

rosesandpetals · April 2014

BIL is a big basketball fan, he's been teaching DD how to jump and throw the ball. Now if we tell her to "jump", she squats down with her butt sticking way out and then stands up really fast and puts her hands in the air. It is so freaking cute. (She doesn't actually get off the ground, but she is so proud of herself anyway.)

magentawarped · April 2014

Thought of another one.

Scarlett has been seeing me feed the baby, so she sees my nips. She was calling them "buttons", so I told her the right word. Big mistake. We were in the waiting area of the med group on base and she pointed to my chest and said "NIPPLES!" at top volume. Thanks kid.

notkateanymore · April 2014

I thought this thread was going to be about how much you would pay to get your kid back...not a lot depending on which one and what day.

AimeeL85 · April 2014

KateMW said:

I thought this thread was going to be about how much you would pay to get your kid back...not a lot depending on which one and what day.

I'd pay but I'd take my sweet time coming up with the money. $20? Gonna need a week for that...

nonoemily · April 2014

KateMW said:
I thought this thread was going to be about how much you would pay to get your kid back...not a lot depending on which one and what day.

No kidding. Mine is throwing a fit right now because we don't have straws for his smoothie. Oh, wait, tantrum over. Now he's drinking his smoothie from the cup.

So unreasonable.

MamaKct · April 2014

CnAmom said:

KateMW said:

I thought this thread was going to be about how much you would pay to get your kid back...not a lot depending on which one and what day.

I would be all "would you mind holding onto them until Monday".

I always joke that they'd be returned once whoever stole them realized how crazy they can be.

notkateanymore · April 2014

MamaKct said:

CnAmom said:

KateMW said:

I thought this thread was going to be about how much you would pay to get your kid back...not a lot depending on which one and what day.

I would be all "would you mind holding onto them until Monday".

I always joke that they'd be returned once whoever stole them realized how crazy they can be.

DD told me one day that she hoped she got kidnapped. I said, Me too sister.

jjt616 · April 2014

I came out of the playroom from changing DS to see DD siting on top of the couch saying Hi Momma! With a big proud smile on her face.

fancynewbeesly · April 2014

Last week Reese heard a car drive by and she ran to the door all excited. I saw her come to me all sad. I asked her what was wrong. She cried "It's not Prince Charming!"

rachie1019 · April 2014

Starearedkid said:
Last week Reese heard a car drive by and she ran to the door all excited. I saw her come to me all sad. I asked her what was wrong. She cried "It's not Prince Charming!"

Oh My Goodness!! That just melt my heart.

Hollylb3 · April 2014

Came out of the bathroom and ds dug my Swiss cake roll wrapper out of the trash. MOTY.

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