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June 2014 Moms
In-law stories
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Re: In-law stories
I am 6 years older than my next sister and 7 years older than my youngest sister. We are all pretty close despite the age difference. It was hard when we were younger (they wanted to get into my clothes/stuff all the time) but now that we are older it works. My brother is 11 years younger than I am and I'm pretty close with him as well. So I say age difference doesn't matter.
Then, a couple hours later, FIL's gf mentioned that they're doing Easter plans on Saturday and how we "better be there". First of all, we're not 15, we don't need to be told where to be. And second, FIL knows that April 19th is my MIL's birthday (his ex wife of 16 years). They asked us a week ago if that day would work for us instead of Easter Sunday, to which I replied no because DH has work until 3, and after work we're going to my MIL'S for her bday. I reminded them that we weren't going to be able to make it, and not but 3 hours after we left their house, they text me asking if we're bringing anything to their Easter thing. I didn't even bother replying.
Oh yeah sorry, no I don't mind she isnt planning on getting her anything, we're not expecting anything from anyone. I didn't even want a baby shower lol but my best friend insisted and wanted to throw me one. I just think it's odd in general and was kind of taken back by it because I have never heard anyone say that before!!
So as she's getting ready to leave, we got up and went over by the door and I grabbed my lower belly and she gets this look of concern on her face and says, 'what?' To which I reply 'nothing, just have to pee.' (Hello...this is normal...you stand up and realize the baby is on your bladder and you have to pee. She has had 3 kids, she should know this). So my husband is telling her about how he loves how much the baby is moving these days and that it normally happens at night, etc. etc. So she puts her hand by my belly and says, 'may I?' Thinking that she would be like any other NORMAL person and just touch my belly I said sure. What does she do???? She puts her hand on my LOWER belly and starts pushing really hard with her fingers yelling 'WHERE ARE YOU?' I literally had to grab her hand and push it away and say, 'hello - I just told you I had to pee!!!' I have no words as to how stupid people can be. And I'll be damned if she is ever going to touch my belly again.
I just find it weird she said "I am not getting her anything until after I see her"
But there are many other practical things she can get besides clothes! Gift Cards, Bathtub, towels, blankets, bottles, carseat, pack n play, toys, first aid kit, diaper care, ect. LoL idk I guess for me if it were my first grandchild, I would be buying my kid so much and get anything I could for it lol.
So I've hesitated to write too much about my MIL on here for concern that she internet stalks me, but at this point I barely care anymore, so here goes. DH was basically raised by MIL and his step dad. since I've known him he has been mostly close to his mom's and step dad's families. He keeps in touch with his bio dad's side, but not as much. A little info on MIL, she is a classic narcissist, where everything and anything is always about her. So, flash forward to about a year and a half DH's step dad ends up finding someone else and they separate. MIL obviously takes this very hard (understandably), but also take it mostly out on the kids. Calling the college age daughter and threatening suicide and then hanging up, calling DH and screaming at him for no reason, brainwashing the younger kids into choosing "her" or their father, talking about how he does/doesn't want to have sex with her in front of their 15 year old son, it's just an enormous, sad, frustrating mess. So, when we planned the baby shower, since DH has always been close to his step dad's family, we decided we would include his grandma and a couple of aunts from that side as well, since we didn't think the baby-shower was an appropriate time to start drawing lines in the sand and excluding people (especially since we don't know what will happen in the future, they aren't even divorced yet). Well, MIL seemed to take it ok, and said she "understood" (after text messaging about how she "hoped I didn't invite them".) Honestly, it's more than a little ridiculous since she goes over to Step dad grandma's house for occasional holidays with the kids still.
Flash forward to last night, she called DH to see what he was doing for Easter, and mentioned that she might be sending the kids of the step-dad-grandma's for Easter to do the egg hunt/breakfast in an effort to "keep things as normal as possible". Well, as soon as LO heard her voice he started kicking and going nuts. so I took the phone and told her how much he must love her voice! She immediately asked about the shower, and I confirmed that yes, step-dad-grandma had rsvp'd. Well, that did it. Now MIL isn't coming to the shower, and she won't bring DH's little sister either, because it would just be too hard and I should really understand, but I wont' because I've "never been through what she's been through". I told her it was a big room with lots of people and she wouldn't have to interact with anyone in particular, I even offered for her to sit with my family on the other side so they could run interference and she said "oh, I'm not close with your family". Yeah, no shit.
Anyways, DH is completely embarrassed and disappointed, and I'm just pissed off that she continues to drag her kids through the mud like this because she refuses to act like an adult. I'm not saying what she's going through is easy, nor do I expect her to "get over it", but at some point you need to stop taking your misery out on the ones your supposedly love. It also cements what I was afraid of, which is that not even this baby is enough to change her number one priority, which has always been to focus on herself and play the victim to get sympathy and attention. It just makes me so incredibly sad.
Sorry for the novel.
He'll be working and coming by at the end. The sad part is, grandma wouldn't even say anything to her. She's actually a totally normal person who wouldn't want any kind of conflict.
This is all about MIL making the situation about her, and making others feel guilty for once again not "picking" her. It just sucks that my 18 year old SIL is now going to get dragged away with her.
Honestly, at this point I'm trying to figure out which is worse, having her not come to the shower and holding over us for however long she decides to, or coming and starting a scene herself. There's just no winning with this person.
@rachel5130 Thanks buddy
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
My FIL started talking at my bellybutton the last time I saw him... having a full on conversation with his head parallel to my crotch. So awkward!
Today was my DH's birthday and his mom took him out to lunch because I had to work. He told me the first thing she did when she showed up at the restaurant was bitch because he didn't go pick her up since it's raining and she hates going out in the rain. She the went on to state that we better start planning on bringing the baby over to her house a lot and when DH mentioned how excited he is about having 8 weeks of paternity leave she said, "well I have a lot of things for you to do at my house over the summer, like yard work and cleaning out some junk and making a nursery for the baby."
In addition to all of this DH's younger brother is serving 6-12 years in prison for attempted murder, about three hours away from us. He was clearly guilty and he took a deal because if he had gone to trial he could have gotten twenty years. MIL has made it clear to DH on multiple occasions that his brother is her favorite child and she loves him more, she told DH at lunch today that she would be focusing all of her energy on appealing the conviction, even though there isn't a shred of defense for my BIL.
Needless to say DH's birthday was ruined because he felt so terrible after his lunch with his mom, he's been struggling with depression all afternoon. DH "jokingly" said that we should just tell LO that all of his family died so we won't have to deal with them...
Anyway, just to give a little back story, DH works full time (44 hours a week minimum) then goes to school Monday through Thursday. I am so proud of him and everything he does. He's a straight A student and manages to balance being a student, a manager, a father, and a husband very well. So, why on earth would my FIL tell him that he "feels sorry for our kids to have parents like us." First, he says that DH should already be in his career and he doesn't get why school is taking so long. Then he says he needs to spend less time focusing on me and our son, so that he can put all his focus on school. Then he has the nerve to bad mouth the fact that I'm a SAHM. He says that I need to be working too because "one income isn't going to cut it." Oh and apparently being a SAHM makes me lazy. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! It's been awhile since I've been this mad. First of all, how dare he disrespect me and my husband, his only son, like that?! And second, the only thing he should feel sorry for our children about, is the fact that their grandfather is king of all assholes.
I literally cried for a half an hour because of how sad and pissed off this makes me. I feel so bad for DH and the fact that he had to hear this. He's done nothing but try to build a good future for our family and try to make his dad proud. I am so disgusted by how ugly this man can act towards his own son. I know my H won't ever admit it, but I know hearing all of that really hurt him. I wish my FIL had the balls to say something like that in front of me!
Okay rant over.