Misery loves company: babies that don't sleep

Boo0512 · April 2014

Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself. I need to know that I'm not the only one still dealing with this BS. DD wakes up, on average, every 2 hours, all night, every single effin night. We've done sleep training and each time we've had to "re-train" (from teething/illness) the result has been worse and worse.

She used to at least go to sleep on her own at the beginning of the night without screaming but now that only happens a few times/week.

When she wakes up during the night, I've tried letting her cry and she will just cry and cry until I go in. She absolutely must be fed, if I try to just rock her she screams and pushes off of me. DH has tried numerous times to calm her down but she screams until I come in and feed her. I don't know what to do.

Lately, when she wakes up around 4am to eat I can't get her back down, she's wide awake and wants to be up for the day.

We've moved around bedtime and it has made absolutely no difference. The longest stretch that she has slept in probably 3 months is 4 hours. However, 99% of the time 2.5hrs is the longest she'll go.

I'm just so sick of everyone I know telling me that she should be sleeping and "Feed her more during the day, let her cry, etc."

DD has been refusing all solids for months but in the last 2 weeks she's been eating yogurt everyday. She won't drink BM/formula/WCM out of her sippy cup.

I just want to cry. I can't even remember what it feels like to be even remotely rested. I can't believe that she is 10.5 months old and still waking up 4-5 times every night.

When is this shit going to end??

botanicalbliss · April 2014

Here! We are up at least 2 times, but lately it's been 4 or 5. He refuses bottles at daycare, so he only eats half of what he normally has on those two days, and I don't feel comfortable letting him cry because I think he is actually hungry. Plus, he's been sick. Every time we make progress, something happens and we're back to this crap. He has NEVER STTN. Ever. I can count on one hand the number of times he's done more than 5 hours. I hear it gets better, but I'm still waiting.

pnutg · April 2014

C is usually up twice but this past week Its been 4 or 5 Times. I'm at my wits end as well. I gave him a full bottle at 12:30 this am and he was up again at 4:30 (3rd wake up) so I let him cry. I went in there to soothe him every so often but he didn't go back to sleep until 5:30. Coupled with my insomnia issues, I usually get about 5 hours of broken sleep a night. He CAN sstn because he has in the past. He's just refusing.

JoJo716 · April 2014

Same here. The only way I have found relief is through cosleeping but even that has stopped working some nights. He also is horrible at napping. Like maybe we get a nap a day. It is like he never needs sleep!!

Boo0512 · April 2014

I'm so sorry you guys are dealing with this too. It's nice to know I'm not alone but I wouldn't wish this shit on anyone. I feel like I'm doing something wrong but it seems like no matter how many changes I make, the night still goes the same.

DD hates our bed so when I'm desperate to get some sleep we end up in the recliner.

I just never imagined that we'd be this bad off at 10.5 months. I'm so exhausted.

blush64 · April 2014

A still gets up. Usually she just wants to eat but sometimes she is all ready to play.

I know it won't make you feel any better but I think it is normal. Not all babies sleep through the night at this point.

Lolalipsy · April 2014

Here! E usually wakes every 3 hours. She takes good naps so I can't complain but it would be lovely to get a full uninterrupted 6 hour stretch.

sourpatchkids · April 2014

Sigh. N will not sleep through the night. He has been pretty consistent with getting up twice a night, sometimes I'll get lucky with once, but other nights it's much more.

We did CIO with DS1 and it worked like a charm for him after just a few times. We tried with N for a week and stopped bc it wasn't working for him.

I think we're going to buckle down on it soon and have H go in the first time he wakes up and get him back to sleep on his own. The second time (early morning) I will nurse him. Hopefully N will then drop the first waking and I will only be getting up the once. I think he'll be able to drop that one on his own when he's ready. Hopefully.

fancefpp · April 2014

We're still dealing with this BS too. He cries to sleep then he's up like three or four hours later. I just bring him into bed and he literally sleeps on my boobs all night. He's refusing naps now too. It's insanity!

watuzzigal · April 2014

I'm in the same leaking boat here.

I just want you to know you are not doing anything wrong. I know it's hard not to blame ourselves, but I just want you to know that. Maybe tape it to the chair y'all sleep in or something.

vegemite79 · April 2014

I can share in your misery - I'm even jealous of those above who lament a 2:45am wake up. Like you, mine is up every 1-2 hours. The biggest thing that has helped me is acceptance - you have permission to punch me now

...but unfortunately, that is the only thing that has provided any sense of relief (that and viewing sleep as a developmental milestone). If anyone is interested, there is a secret Wait-It-Out support group on Facebook that I have found very helpful from a misery-loves-company point of view. Message me and I can send anyone who is interested an invite.

Also, for those of you for whom CIO doesn't work (or you are opposed to it), some of these articles may help you to embrace a wait-it-out approach: https://www.pinterest.com/elimcd1/wait-it-out/

(Edited for clarity and to add link to Wait-It-Out Pinterest board.)

pnutg · April 2014

@dillngr9‌, that scares me. Take the bottle away? Sure, when he goes to kindergarten:)

vegemite79 · April 2014

...and to add - I know that pediatricians are well meaning, but most don't receive any training on sleep. My husband is an MD and has pediatrician friends and they all concede to prescribing sleep training techniques simply because that's what they all do, not because they are up-to-date on the research. So ...just because your doctor tells you something doesn't mean you are doing something wrong if you don't follow it. I have great respect for doctors, but also realize they are human and can make mistakes.

bumpuser3155624 · April 2014

Put me in the no sleep club!

Angela183 · April 2014

Yup, LO wakes up a few times per night. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass.

kmcd23 · April 2014

I'm in this boat, too. Food is going better for us than you, but sleep is the same. Most nights, he's up every 1.5 hours. Last night, he did his first 2.5 hour stretch. He's slept for 5 hour stretches twice, in my bed. (And both times, I wasn't sleeping, of course!)

He'll be a little piggy some days, and eat a TON of food at all 3 meals plus snacks, but still insist on nursing every other wakeup. If he doesn't eat as much, he nurses every wake up, and nothing else works. I've resigned myself to this is just his style.

beatlechicksteph · April 2014

We're back to being up all night. He's permaently attached to the boob. All. Night. Long. I don't believe in sleep training, and my mom said eventually he'll STTN. It's gotten to the point where DH is on the couch every night, and DS and I are in the bed, with him suckling all night. I'm thinking he's got either A) teeth coming in or

a growth spurt coming up, because we were down to 1 wake up a night.

c-elizabethf · April 2014

Same here. Dd will go down just fine but is up 3 hours later and will only sleep with me and she wakes up 2-3 times after that to drink a bottle.

kmcd23 · April 2014

I'm curious about the standing up aspect of this. For those who's babies put themselves back to sleep, are they standing up during their wake ups, and then lying back down? G is pushing up to all fours and crawling before he's even fully awake. It's so fast. Then, when he gets to then end of whatever he's in, he wakes up fully, stands, and screams, if he's not already crying before that. Sometimes he's doing all that and crying with his eyes closed. The longer I let it progress, the worse it gets. It's so much harder than when he didn't physically get up when he woke up. And this is also why we can't cosleep anymore. He'll crawl right off the edge of the bed in 2 seconds flat, without really waking up. So we sleep in the glider a lot, because he doesn't do that in my arms.

vegemite79 · April 2014

@kmcd23‌ - mine is similar to yours. I'm assuming you have tried a floor bed (or have a reason for not being able to) but that is what works for us. I have a full size mattress in a corner, so two sides have walls, which I line with pillows to prevent her from speed crawling into them ...then I have two bed rails, one at the base and one on the remaining side. Bedsharing is the only way I am surviving.

kmcd23 · April 2014

@vegemite79‌ , we had moved to a floor bed, and I had it blocked on two sides, a rug on one side, and pillows on the foot of most of the last side. And the first time he fell off, he landed on the one spot that was exposed hard wood and scared the beejeebus out of me, so we stopped.

He also likes to push up to sitting with no regards to where his bottom is going, and will sit himself right off the bed. Luckily, I've caught him when he does that, because that's a much harder knock to the head if it happens that way.

aliandchris · April 2014

Not getting enough sleep is the worst! I have a 2.5 year old son who sleep trained beautifully (Ferber) and has slept from 7:30-7:00 since 8 months old. My 11 month old is a much more stubborn child sleep wise

We spent so much time worrying that her crying would wake him up, that we did anything to quiet her down as quickly as possible (feeding, rocking, bouncing, etc). Now, when she wakes in the night, she expects the royal treatment! But I don't think she'll be like my son, who cried for 20 minutes the first Ferber night, 10 the next and by night 3 was fully trained. I did a soft trial and she stood in her crib, hysterical, for 10 minutes before I realized this would not be the same as before! Broken segments of sleep are miserable, particularly when they are less than 2 hours in length. Hang in there, mamas! Between illness, teething and growth spurts, it's always something screwing with sleep!

krwact · April 2014

I am so relieved to hear all of your stories. M's sleep has impacted every single aspect of our lives. It's been torture and I swear I'm the only one in my IRL circle of moms who has had a LO struggle so badly which of course makes me feel like it's all my fault. I'll come back later on to type up the details, but we've FINALLY been seeing progress in the last month and it's a world of difference. Two things - it ends up that it was primarily physiological for us. M suffers from reflux and chronic constipation. Now that he's on his third reflux med (Prevacid) and getting prune juice with Miralax twice a day, he's able to sleep so, so much better.

I also paid for a professional sleep consult and it was amazing. With my sleep expert, we were able to use techniques that helped us isolate behavioral issues from physical ones. We're still struggling with naps (but his eighth tooth is about to poke through) but we're consistently getting 10-11 hours out of him at night with no motn wakings. If only I could go to bed at 7 as well, I'd be golden but you know what? I'll take a 5:00a wake up call if I didn't have him screaming multiple times for hours through the night.

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