BTDT moms - hitting?

PennyLane26 · April 2014

DD turned 1 today. Sigh. This year has flown. I'm so happy to be able to celebrate her life, but it's a bittersweet day. She's growing up!

Anddd she's turning into a toddler for sure. She has been testing limits and reactions big time. Her new thing is to hit me (and only me!). For the first few days I was just saying "Be gentle" and kind of distracting her by doing something different. But she kept at it! Hitting me right in the face! I've tried saying "No" loudly and holding her hand. To be clear, I don't say the word "no" a lot, it was kind of trained out of me as a 1st grade teacher, but I'm at a loss!

I have her 12 month appt next week and plan on bringing it up with her pedi BUT I know this is a common problem, so how have you all handled it? TIA!!

pb_bride · April 2014

Happy birthday to your DD! No help with the hitting, however... M throws things but hasn't really gone through the hitting phase yet. Does your DD hit for no reason , or does she only do it when she's mad/throwing a tantrum?

Ruthie04 · April 2014

Is she hitting out of excitement or anger? DS1 used to hit when he would get super excited. He just thought it was funny. I would say, "We don't hit each other in this house. Please don't hit mommy." Sometimes I would ask for a hug instead, but he'd often hit me after the hug. I'd set him down or move him out of my lap whenever he hit me. If he wanted back in my lap, I would remind him to be gentle with mommy and I'd set him back down if he did it again. That pretty much took care of it with me. He sometimes hits DS2, but we are trying to work it out through time outs and encouragement to use words (he does it in retaliation for toy stealing).

TJ1979 · April 2014

Like Ruthie, what works best with E is putting her down. She is often in my lap or on the couch or being held when it happens. So down she goes.
She does it when she's upset or mad. I hold both of her hands and tell her that I know she is angry, but we do not hit. Hitting hurts. Then I ask her to say she's sorry (she always refuses so I take her hand and sign I'm sorry for her) then ask for a hug.

srveatch · April 2014

Like Ruthie said, I am usually holding A when she hits and it is usually out of excitement. She likes my reaction, thinks it is funny. So I try to limit my reaction and tell her to be gentle and put her down. She also goes through phases and for the most part this strategy seems to work.

PennyLane26 · April 2014

All great tips! Glad to know some of you are in the same boat. DD is definitely hitting to get a reaction, it happens often when she is in a silly mood. She doesn't hit out of anger or frustration. I'll continue to be gentle with correction and see how it goes!

jessica_gail2 · April 2014

I can't believe today is G's birthday! Wow how a year has passed so quickly! Happy Birthday sweet girl!

How are you feeling btw? And when is G's party? You'll have to send pics!

GL on the hitting! S has hit me a couple times when I tell her to sit down in the bathtub but she hasn't gotten into the full-on hitter stage yet. We'll have our hands full when she does...

Mnerani · April 2014

Happy birthday!

I'm a big fan of "appropriate consequences" at this age. And I think it's usually appropriate to take away something that they want or want to be doing, if they are acting up. In the case of hitting, DS wants me to be holding him and he wants a reaction from me, so I don't react (not even "no, don't do that") and I simply put him down and walk away. At this age, he knows exactly why I've put him down and he usually won't hit me again that day or for several days.

At age 1, I'd say "no" and hold her hand/wrist, so that it's really obvious what behavior you're correcting, and then if she does it a second time, I'd put her down and walk a few steps away.

PennyLane26 · April 2014

@jessica_gail2 - I know! I can't believe our girl's are a year this month!

I'm feeling pretty crummy - but at leads that's a good sign! I didn't have any symptoms with G until about 8/9 weeks, but I have all.day.sickness this time around and it started a week ago! Hoepfully that's a good sign.

srveatch · April 2014

PennyLane26 said:

@jessica_gail2 - I know! I can't believe our girl's are a year this month!

I'm feeling pretty crummy - but at leads that's a good sign! I didn't have any symptoms with G until about 8/9 weeks, but I have all.day.sickness this time around and it started a week ago! Hoepfully that's a good sign.

Oh, I am feeling sick this time around as well! I thought it was too early and that it might be a bug... but I think it is the hormones. I hope for the both of this it means that it ends sooner.

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