STM: Is your DH staying with you in the hospital overnight?

ss265 · April 2014

With my 1st, either DH or my Mom stayed with me overnight every single night. With this LO, I am considering not having anyone stay with me after the first night. I had a C-section with my first so if this one is also a C-section, I could be in the hospital for 3-4 nights. My Mom will be staying with us when DS2 is born and if DS1 is still waking up at night, I would rather DH be with DS1 to handle him than have my Mom do it - I don't want her sleep interrupted and since she lives overseas, she doesn't see DS1 very often and I don't know if she will be able to get him back to bed.

I would also rather not have my Mom stay with me in the hospital. I am not used to being around her and sometimes her being around stresses me out. Am I crazy for considering staying by myself in the hospital? I will probably send DS2 to the nursery and just have the nurses bring him to me for feedings.

Roseypants · April 2014

Same thing with me. DH stayed with me the whole time with my daughter. This time, I will probably have him stay with me the 1st and possibly 2nd night and then he can go home to get some rest. My daughter will probably stay with my parents or in-laws and they will bring her up the next morning. She will be 3 and a half at that point. I have to have a c-section again as well, so I really want my DH to be there and help me walk/bathroom and help with the baby the first night or two.

golfbride44 · April 2014

I will also be having a repeat c-section. DS will be 22 months when #2 is born, and the plan is for him to stay with my in-laws (at our home) and for DH to stay with me and the new baby.

SusieBW · April 2014

I think Dh will probably stay the first night (especially if I have a c/s and can't get around well on my own that first night), but probably not after that. I wouldn't ask my mom to sleep on the uncomfortable pull-out things our hospital has, so I would be alone after the first night. DH is not yet aware that this is the plan in my head, but I think he'll agree.

DD will go with my parents and our dog will go with my ILs when we go to the hospital to have DS, but if I have a c/s and I'm going to be there for 4 nights, I would feel bad making DD sleep at my parent's house for that long when she could be in her own bed at home with DH instead. Same with making my ILs watch the dog for that long. I think I actually spent my last night in the hospital alone last time around, too, because DH wanted to bring the dog home to get him out of ILs hair, and DH was so completely uncomfortable on the pull-out sleeping thing.

MagentaMouse · April 2014

My mom and I are really close, so I probably will have her stay with me. DH didn't handle DD's birth very well - he acted more tired than I was after 40 hours of labor and a c/s, so I'm not going to expect too much of him. I'm going to let him sleep at home. I also might send my baby to the nursery if I need sleep, but when DD was born I didn't want to be away from her. I guess I'll just play it by ear! I'll probably be in the hospital for 4 nights again since I'm having another c/s. I don't think it's crazy to consider staying by yourself in the hospital. Honestly, do whatever is going to be least stressful for you. You'll have enough to worry about with a newborn, directly after a major abdominal surgery.

court1703 · April 2014

For dd2 he stayed with me while I tried to labor and spent the night. The next day I ended up with a c sec first thing in the morning. So he was at home with dd1 every night after that. This time I plan on him being home with dd1 and 2 every night. If I need something there is always nurses.

jesslinnn · April 2014

I'm not sure this time. DH stayed with me the whole time with my other two. DS2 was born in August before my parents went back to school (teachers) so DS1 was able to stay with them. This time, unless I have LO over the weekend, DH will probably go home with the boys. (They all might stay at my parents house since they live down the street from the hospital and our house is 25 mins away.)

Starfish17 · April 2014

DH will stay with me this time as he did with the first 2. Depending on when the baby's born, my mom is going to fly down to help. So either she will stay with DS & DD, or a friend will stay with them 1 night until my mom can get there. The kids will come to visit during the day, but I feel like DH and I need some time to bond with #3 by ourselves as well before we go home. Both my previous deliveries so I was in the hospital only 2 nights.

Sofia2529 · April 2014

No. He'll stay home with the boys.

pushgal84 · April 2014

I'm not sure. This is baby #1 for us so I would like him there, but I also know how cranky he gets if he doesn't sleep well. At minimum, he will need to go home (2 whole miles from the hospital) to feed the fur babies. Maybe I'll have him go home for a nap and then spend the nights with me at the hospital. I think between parents coming to visit and me wanting some peace and quiet, DH should be able to sneak out during the day for a couple hours.

How many nights does one usually spend at the hospital after giving birth? Assuming it's a complication free vaginal birth.

ss265 · April 2014

pushgal84 said:

I'm not sure. This is baby #1 for us so I would like him there, but I also know how cranky he gets if he doesn't sleep well. At minimum, he will need to go home (2 whole miles from the hospital) to feed the fur babies. Maybe I'll have him go home for a nap and then spend the nights with me at the hospital. I think between parents coming to visit and me wanting some peace and quiet, DH should be able to sneak out during the day for a couple hours.

How many nights does one usually spend at the hospital after giving birth? Assuming it's a complication free vaginal birth.

With a vaginal birth, it's usually 2 nights (or at least that is what most insurance policies will cover). Someone told me that if you give birth before midnight, that night is counted as one night - so if you have the baby at 11:30pm on Monday night, some insurance policies will only cover Monday night and Tuesday night and you have to leave on Wednesday even though you have been at the hospital less than 48 hours. I have no idea if this is true or not though, so take it with a grain of salt.

pugmom11 · April 2014

DH will probably stay with me again. For us, it was a special little time with DS. My mom will stay at our house with DS and bring him back and forth to see us.

BeanNut · April 2014

No way would I have DH stay more than one night. I am barely comfortable with our options of people to stay overnight once with my girls so we might not do that depending on the timing of things.

Of course, I've never had a C/S so I don't know what your restrictions are for picking up the baby but assume a nurse or assistant could help you with it if needed.

JJsMum · April 2014

Nope. DH stayed with me when DS#1 was born and he was miserable. He's 6'4 and the pull out at the hospital was brutal for him. And honestly, there wasn't much for him to do. With DS#2 I sent him home to get some good rest (my mom was watching DS#1). It was much more helpful to me to have a well rested partner when I got home. Plus the nurses were more than happy (or at least willing) to help me out during the night while he was gone. So we will do the same thing again this time. Now I will say, I had uncomplicated vaginal deliveries both times. Might be different if I end up with a c-section and I'm not as mobile right away.

Edit: Sorry for the block of text. On mobile.

trisharenee0316 · April 2014

Yes. He'll go home to have dinner with DD and do her normal bedtime routine, but my ILs will stay at our house to be with her overnight. MH will be back at the hospital with me overnight. This is assuming a RCS because I know last time, I had horrible mobility afterward and he was a tremendous help.

PC0909 · April 2014

DH will stay with me overnight. He'll be home to put LO to bed, then my parents will be in charge until the morning. DS is a good sleeper and my parents can handle him.

TexasMom7137 · April 2014

He will stay at least the first 2 nights and we'll see what happens after that. My mom and sister will have the boys and will bring them up at least once then will bring them home the day after we get home. That is what we did when DS2 was born and it worked out for us.

Lindzoid · April 2014

With my last baby my husband stayed with me the one night I was there. I usually try to break out of the hospital as quickly as possible!! With my first I think I was there for a total of two nights, my second I wasn't there for more than 36 hours after he was delivered! I would just rather be at home. I am sure my insurance company loves me!!

kindacrunchy · April 2014

I'm not sure yet. My MIL is flying out here a couple of weeks before I'm due to be here with the girls when I go into labor so DH could stay overnight with me. He did last time but our oldest was 9 and our youngest is only 3 this time so I'm thinking I might send him home if she is having a hard time without us.

Mommy2Boys09 · April 2014

I would probably let my mom keep him. If they really don't see each other often then she probably won't mind getting up with him if he does wake up. As long as she is the one to put him to bed, I don't see why she couldn't get him back to sleep if he woke up. He would already be use to her being there by that point, it wouldn't be new to him waking up to her. Maybe have her come a couple days early so he has more time to get use to her being there. But if you're going to be super worried, I don't think staying overnight in the hospital by yourself would be terrible.

wearenutts · April 2014

We are hopping to have some friends watch our daughter overnight for us. However, my H will still have to run back and forth to the house throughout the day to feed and let the dog out. He's a rescue and won't let anyone but us get near him.

c&bmama0911 · April 2014

With my first, I was induced on wednesday, he was born on Thursday and we left on saturday.. with number two, he was born at 8:49 am and I left the next afternoon.. dh stays at the hospital with me.. he just prefers in that way I guess..

which is totally fine with me.. kids will be with my parents probably at home..

Eta: I'd be totally fine staying alone in the hospital. . Our hospital has gone to more 'baby friendly' they call it and baby is with mom 23 out of 24 hours.. all assessments etc are done in the room in the presence of mom.

Liss1481 · April 2014

DH will probably stay overnight since his parents will be coming down to stay with DS. We'll see when it gets closer though.

kmwills · April 2014

Wow, I never even thought about having DH stay with me at the hospital when DD was born. My water broke on a Sunday afternoon, so he stayed with me until DD was born (Monday morning), but he went home that night. It was just me & DD at night - my hospital had the baby stay in your room with you. It was really cool to just be with her, singing to her and nursing in the middle of the night. And I could just buzz for a nurse if I needed anything. I imagine we'll do the same again.

live4thegiraffe · April 2014

My DH stayed overnight with me after DD was born, because I had to be pushed up to the NICU in a wheelchair. He stayed with me frequently (work permitting) during my 3 weeks on hospital bedrest, also, but we had no one else at home to take care of. My mom has volunteered to take my DD until we're home from the hospital, so it will really be up to DH whether he wants to stay or go home.

MLE_C2B · April 2014

Probably at least tge first night. The hospital remodeled and has huge suites for new moms with a pull out for dads, your own bathroom and shower. DS will stay with gmA who lives with us anyway so no big disruption.

vrj0522 · April 2014

I will probably just sent him home unless the baby is born in the middle of the night. I don't plan on keeping him there as DS needs to be taken care of and while my parents will be helping, I also don't see the point of keeping DH there when one of us can be getting a good night's sleep.

SaphireShimmer · April 2014

While it was nice last time to have DH to go with DS for his check-ups and first bath (I have a CS so I was in bed for the first day) he wasn't a whole lot of help after that. I couldn't wake him up lol. I was induced but it didn't really do anything to start so the first night while waiting for progress he had to sleep in a horrible (yet hilarious) recliner that kept launching him out of it because he was so light. The second night it when DS was finally born late at night via CS so it wasn't very restful for him again. So he was out most of the rest of the stay.
It depends on whether I go VBAC or repeat what we will do. DS hasn't been away from us overnight before (and has been co-sleeping, but we are working on changes that) so how he handles it will change what we do too.

sragreen · April 2014

DH started with me the whole time when DS was born, but he won't be staying the night this time. The company he works for owns the hospital and the hotel that is connected to the hospital, so they will provide a room for him where he will stay with DS. They will come as much as they can during the day, but I don't want to mess with DS's routine too much. I should mention that staying with one of our parents is kind of out of the question. If I asked my mom to keep him, DH's parents would get upset and vice versa.

Kay1029 · April 2014

We have no idea. First night he'll definitely be wuth me and this LO. After that, it depends on how DD does that first night. Ill be a RCS so I know ill be in for 3 nights. Plus, if I do need someone and DH goes home, ill have my mom come who lives about 10 min from the hospital.

KayleneTice8 · April 2014

My husband is a police officer who works night shifts.. He will help with baby through out the night so that I can rest, then head home during the day and sleep as he normally does. Works out pretty well for us.

mamamurphy · April 2014

With DD husband stayed with me as much as possible. ( he left to care for our dog) Our DD was immediately transferred to the Childrens Hospital the next block over so he had to get me to and from... I only stayed over 1 night.

With my second I sent him home (late night) I wanted the one on one time with my new baby so we could secure a nursing bond uninterrupted... and we did.

With this one I plan to do the same as I did with my son.

I don't recommend sending the baby to the nursery... I didn't even realize hospitals offered that as an option. Bonding is so important those first few days.

persephonerose · April 2014

With our son DH stayed almost the entire time. Unfortunately he did not get any sleep and I wasn't able to sleep so by the time we got home we were both in bad shape. We did not have any friends or family to come help out either. So it was just us.

I was thinking of sending DH home at night to be with our son and using the nursery for the twins this time around so I could try to sleep. And if I can't sleep at least DH will be well rested so I can sleep once I get home.

Raesofsunshine1 · April 2014

If anyone stays with me, it would just be DH and Im thinking about maybe just the first night so he can go home to be with DD.

pugmom11 · April 2014

mamamurphy said:
I don't recommend sending the baby to the nursery... I didn't even realize hospitals offered that as an option. Bonding is so important those first few days.

This I have to disagree with. We kept DS with us most of the time in the room, but we did send him to the nursery for a couple of hours in between feedings the first night in order to get some much needed sleep (we had been up for nearly 2.5 days).

Bonding is important those first hours, yes, but I don't think anyone should e discouraged from using the nursery if it's at your disposal. Rest is important for Mom's mental state too.

ladybug0088 · April 2014

I'm not sure yet. This is our first LO but we also have a dog at home who would probably be weirded out not seeing either for us in the evenings. I'm sure he'll come home in the evenings to sleep then come back to the hospital in the mornings.

crystal8503 · April 2014

He will be staying in the hospital with me and our son will be with my in-laws at our home if I have a RCS or our local friends if I choose to attempt a VBAC.

kglasco · April 2014

You girls are brave staying by yourselves! I could never! Kudos!

megaroo64 · April 2014

My H did not stay overnight with me last time and he won't again this time. I was glad he went home- with all the nurses coming and going all night I know he wouldn't have gotten any sleep- and it was super that he was completely well rested when we came home. This time, he will have B to juggle, but B will be primarily cared for by my sister who will be staying at our house when we are at the hospital.

Eastie156 · April 2014

I actually hadn't considered this at all yet. Like a pp, H is tall as well-6'3". He was super uncomfortable in the pullout chair. But I also know my first birth was tough and I was glad he was there. We'll see. I'll definitely have him stay the first night and we will go from there.

wildflower75 · April 2014

I would have rather my husband stay at the hospital with me but that would have been $800 a night so I was alone (in a shared room with a lovely woman, although we hardly spoke). I also had a c-section so I was in the hospital for 4 days.
I personally enjoyed it because after all my visitors left I knew I would have alone time with my newborn and we could bond without interruptions and no one else around.

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