In-law stories

lellymine · April 2014

I'm about to strangle my MIL so I need a revival of the in-law horror story thread! Any crazy in-law experiences you've had recently so I can feel like mine isn't so bat shit crazy?

curlylocks3 · April 2014

My MIL keeps calling me at 8am to ask how bedrest is going. So far I've jus glared at the phone because I know I can't be nice but I am *this close* to answer it sounding groggy and tell her it's going great except for having my sleep interrupted. Downside to this is that she'd then have an opportunity to ask me how my cervix is doing, and I know my response won't be nice. Apparently my ILs think they are entitled to updates on the state of my cervix.

misscarter87 · April 2014

I am having issues with my mil we havent spoke since february when she called my cell cursing me out &telling me to keep my distance from her..i rarely see or talk to this lady..we would visit on holidays and fam gatherings..but since she called me cursing me out &making rude nasty comments i much rather NOT attend any in law fam events or even have her there for my LO birth. I feel like she said some really out of the line things that really hurt me.

tnd1218 · April 2014

Probably not a huge deal but mine insist that DD#2 will never be close to DD#1 because of the age gap. She insist they will have nothing in common and barely know each other. Each time she says this it makes me cringe although I have repeatedly said I think it's how you are raised and I really do not like hearing that my daughters will barely know each other. My siblings and I are very close. My parents and their siblings are very close. My dad and his sister who are 12 years apart (same as DD's will be) are very close and speak almost daily. MIL likes to inform me she has no contact with her sisters because of the age gaps and my daughters will be the same. Like I said maybe it's just me but this really annoys the heck out of me!

ricecakes1216 · April 2014

My MIL thought it was appropriate to bring up my miscarriage at my baby shower. Like it was no big deal to talk about in front of people that don't need to know. I didn't know that she knew about it either...that was fun.

elsa1688 · April 2014

@tnd1218‌ fwiw, my older sister is 8 years older than me, and 11 years older than our little sister and we are all incredibly close. Bff status.

tnd1218 · April 2014

elsa1688 said:
@tnd1218‌ fwiw, my older sister is 8 years older than me, and 11 years older than our little sister and we are all incredibly close. Bff status.

Love hearing this! My DD and DS are 8 yrs apart, and DDs will be 12 years apart!

Eta: added

tnd1218 · April 2014

Merie412 said:
@tnd1218-I have a little brother who is 17 years younger than me. We are incredibly close and he is very close to my other sisters (14 years older and 12 years older than he). We have an older brother who is 4 years older than I am and I'm close with him too. You're right saying that it is all how you're raised. My siblings are my best friends and I'd be lost without every single one of them. Your MIL is generalizing based on her own poor relationships. Don't let her bother you

Thank you! I am the same, my siblings are my best friends! I could not see an age gap making that any different.

cMichelle0423 · April 2014

@tnd1218‌ There's 16 years between me and my youngest brother and even though he's only 7, we are very close. I recently moved out of state, but we still make sure to talk to each other all the time via phone or Skype. I also have a brother who is 6 years younger (he's 17) and again, we're just as close, only difference is we text more than we talk on the phone. Teenagers, right? That being said, I knowmy brothers are also very close to eeach other as well.... to the point where my 17 year old brother will dress up in "army man stuff" and go out and play with our 7 year old brother. So adorable.

Your MIL sounds like a real peach... that might explain more about her relationships with her own siblings than the whole age gap thing...

wtfisup · April 2014

tnd1218 said:

elsa1688 said:
@tnd1218‌ fwiw, my older sister is 8 years older than me, and 11 years older than our little sister and we are all incredibly close. Bff status.
Love hearing this! My DD and DS are 8 yrs apart, and DDs will be 12 years apart!

Eta: added

My husband and his brother are 8 years apart and the cutest. And plenty of siblings who are close in have weak relationships. Stupid MIL.

wtfisup · April 2014

At my shower, my MIL sat beside me telling my husband that she would have us go out to dinner, volunteer to watch the baby, then do all the things I wouldn't let her do to the baby. I'm not even sure what she's referencing, but a) how rude, b) I can hear, c) fuck you, and d) I'd never leave my kid alone with you anyway.

gatorMom2014 · April 2014

Oh man, that would definitely get on my nerves too about your kids supposedly not going to be close. So glad you brought this one up again, my in-laws are nuts. So both my MIL and SIL have decided to leave their husbands now while I am 7 months pregnant. This means that they are in the middle of highly dramatic situations that leave no time for them to ask or care about our baby--the first grandchild in the family. I don't need tons of presents, but instead of getting any from my MiL we just shelled out 1K to help her move into an apartment. Story 2--before SIL told DH she is leaving her husband she made a big deal out of offering to have my baby shower at her house. We set the date, and friends made plans to come (including 1 friend buying a plane ticket). Then SIL sends an email asking if we can change the date because a friend surprised her and her husband with concert tickets in another state the weekend of the shower. We made alternate plans and rented out a space...but I'm definitely wondering if she will now come to the shower in light of her plans to leave her husband (which I hate to say I'm not sure if I even believe due to her overly dramatic track record.) So this may all come off as me being selfish, but geez, can't everyone just act normal and calm down?? ETA: why do my paragraphs all combine into one when I hit post? I'm posting from my iPAD if that matters.

Ahug77 · April 2014

emilyh107 said:
Maybe this can go here.. This has been bothering me.
My SIL. She has kids that are 5 and 2. They are mostly well behaved, but she is having trouble with the 5 year old having a major attitude and the 2 year old doesn't really listen, still isn't saying more than 3 words, and he bites/slaps if he doesn't get his way. She is a single mom and I knows it's got to be hard, but she has self diagnosed her 5 year old with ADHD and her 2 year old with autism. What's worse is that she will mention it around them. They were over for dinner last week and her 5 year old was off playing by herself and was talking to herself(just role playing, if you ask me) and she loudly pointed out that was a sign of ADHD. What? A kid talking to themself while they are playing? No, that's normal.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't exactly think she should be telling her kids what she thinks is wrong with them.

I totally agree. Besides, my husband has ADHD and he never sat and talked with himself. That's normal for little girls- role playing. He did however constantly bounce around and was unable to complete thoughts until he was given the proper treatment which he no longer needs (and only needed for about 5 years until he learned to control it).

It does sound like the 2 yr old could have autism, but they usually aren't violent. He could just be spoiled.
Also, if he does have autism he won't understand what she's saying to him, but he'll be extremely perceptive of how she says things which could affect his attitude.

Please note, I am no expert and simply have personal experience with both ADHD and autism.

JujuB22 · April 2014

My mil was going to do the shower, but her location plans fell through and she wasn't going to say anything about it because she was afraid of upsetting me. So when we finally found out my bf stepped up and decided to host a shower for me. Now MIL is pouty because bf hasn't asked for any input from her. Tired of being put in the middle. Mil keeps asking me questions about my shower and really all I know is the date. She also keeps asking me to have bf contact her. Bf doesn't want to, and I'm not going to make her. So I gave MIL bf's contact info, but I doubt she will contact her directly. I know she means well and wants to help, but I'm sick of her trying to make me a middle person, so I'm done. ( it was the same with my wedding, couldn't get parents to talk to each other so everyone passed messages through me, so annoying) She can either contact bf direct, or just let it go.

babygabe614 · April 2014

@tnd1218 My DH has two brothers who are 6 and 10 years younger than him, and he is actually closest with the younger of the two. That said, he has a good relationship with both siblings and I agree with the PP who said your MIL is seriously generalizing and possibly projecting her own issues onto you and your family. Ignore her.

@ricecakes1216 I am so sorry she did that to you! WTF?! Who would ever bring that up... especially at the celebration of your child... I just don't understand.

@wtfisup That sounds exactly like my MIL! She is just polar opposite of DH & I when it comes to everything parenting related and always makes comments to my stepson about how "mean" I am that I don't let him have soda at 9pm or keep cookies and garbage like that in the house for him to snack on, and will blatantly undermine me all the time so I know she will be exactly the same with LO. She always brings up babysitting to DH and I, and we awkwardly dodge it every time because there is NO way she is being left alone with my child EVER. Besides the fact that she physically and emotionally abused my DH for his entire childhood, she and her husband are massive chain smokers and consider putting a kid in front of a screen (TV, computer, video game, etc.) for hours at a time "babysitting". No thanks.

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

Ahug77 said:

Maybe this can go here.. This has been bothering me. My SIL. She has kids that are 5 and 2. They are mostly well behaved, but she is having trouble with the 5 year old having a major attitude and the 2 year old doesn't really listen, still isn't saying more than 3 words, and he bites/slaps if he doesn't get his way. She is a single mom and I knows it's got to be hard, but she has self diagnosed her 5 year old with ADHD and her 2 year old with autism. What's worse is that she will mention it around them. They were over for dinner last week and her 5 year old was off playing by herself and was talking to herself(just role playing, if you ask me) and she loudly pointed out that was a sign of ADHD. What? A kid talking to themself while they are playing? No, that's normal. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't exactly think she should be telling her kids what she thinks is wrong with them.
I totally agree. Besides, my husband has ADHD and he never sat and talked with himself. That's normal for little girls- role playing. He did however constantly bounce around and was unable to complete thoughts until he was given the proper treatment which he no longer needs (and only needed for about 5 years until he learned to control it). It does sound like the 2 yr old could have autism, but they usually aren't violent. He could just be spoiled. Also, if he does have autism he won't understand what she's saying to him, but he'll be extremely perceptive of how she says things which could affect his attitude. Please note, I am no expert and simply have personal experience with both ADHD and autism.

Its perfectly normal for kids to talk to themselves while playing...barbies, army men, trains, or even the salt & pepper shakers on the table - all it shows is the kid has an active imagination and is able to entertain herself. Which is probably good because as a single parent, your SIL probably doesn't spend much time actually engaging with the child on her level.

As for the 2 year old, Autism is a spectrum disorder with symptoms that range from subtle nuance to extremely apparent. Delayed speech doesn't necessarily point to Autism - it could also be that the caregivers do not engage the child in speech building activities. In fact, delayed speech is very common with second children because the older siblings tend to speak for them and the parents are so distracted by the other child(ren) or are more likely to forsee the child's needs that they don't encourage speech. If the kid is a young 2, its likely he'll catch up soon. My niece turned 2 in January. We were all a little concerned about her lack of speech - she'd use simple words like no, eat, juice, and momma, but she wouldn't make sentences. Over the past 4 months her speech has really exploded. She's now forming sentences, but her speech is still forced and sentences are choppy. She has 2 older siblings.

If your nephew is an older 2 then there might be need for some concern. But so much about speech is environmental and sometimes kids are saying plenty - adults just don't listen.

But definitely self diagnosing or using Dr. Google to diagnose your kids - especially when you believe they have a serious medical issue - is very dangerous. Hope your SIL is able to take some time for her kids and seek medical consultations - for the kids and herself.

nicolemcm · April 2014

My MIL got her panties in a wad about my SIL (her son's wife) throwing me a shower. She said stuff like "I guess the grandma isn't good enough to host" etc. All of this when she didn't offer to throw a shower and only said this once the shower planning was already in motion. AND it turns out she already had plans to be across the country for 3 weeks prior to the shower - coming back 5d before the shower. Soo what did she think she was going to do across the country? Needless to say, I'm done feeling any guilt about the situation.

katekat8721 · April 2014

@ricecakes1216 - I'm sorry! What a biotch move. Even if she was trying to be (what? kind? helpful? inspiring? ugh) it's not her story or place to share.

My MIL is pretty cool, but she wants me to give her a date like last week on when she can come stay with us. I have no idea yet, it's really going to depend on when the babies are born and she's not understanding this. She doesn't get that twins are smaller and born earlier than singletons and she believes I'm going to have 7 lb babies that will come out into this world and be ready and rearing to go. I hope so too, but I don't know!

I do not want house guests at all (let alone people staying with us for a week with newborns) but she and BIL have made it clear that if they don't stay with us, they won't be able to come. Saying no risks hurting hubby and my girls future relationship with their grandma, so I guess she's staying with us. She called DH to let him know she picked a date to come down, and it just so happens to be the weekend of my sister's wedding (they know this). I told DH whatever I can't entertain though and the babies may have to come with me during the day if they're nursing and I'm helping my sis run errands. We'll just see how it goes.

hollygb22 · April 2014

Mine live 5 hrs away so they rarely come to visit..maybe once a year?

They came 3 weeks ago and were miserable. They barely interact with DD who is almost 17 months. MIL says our couches are too soft and hurt her back and sat at our dining room table the whole visit with a puss on her face. FIL and MIL said our house was cold. I had the heat on 68 and turned it up to 70. They refused to take their coats off the entire visit. Once the house was at 72 i gave up and let them sit there like idiots.

They refuse to eat any food I make. DD was napping from 11-1. I had a veggie platter, chips, salsa, guac, cheese, crackers, pepperoni..offered to make them sandwiches for lunch or order something. They refused. Come 4pm they said we needed to goto dinner soon because they were absolutely starving and ate nothing all day.

They're peaches Just thanksful they don't come often and stay at a hotel since our house is too small to accomodate them as they like to tell us.

Mztwilson · April 2014

These stories make me even more thankful my MIL is not a nutcase! I'm so sorry for any of you who have to deal with crazy inlaws. Mine are pretty down to earth. Which is good considering they live 5 blocks away.

Ashes92813 · April 2014

@tnd1218‌, I hate when people say or assume this! I have four younger siblings, I am 32 and have always been closer with the 19, 21 and 22 year old than the 30 year old. It honestly depends on how a family is raised and personalities. But, relationships can also change/develop over time. I'm sorry she's being so snotty.

tnd1218 said:
Probably not a huge deal but mine insist that DD#2 will never be close to DD#1 because of the age gap. She insist they will have nothing in common and barely know each other. Each time she says this it makes me cringe although I have repeatedly said I think it's how you are raised and I really do not like hearing that my daughters will barely know each other. My siblings and I are very close. My parents and their siblings are very close. My dad and his sister who are 12 years apart (same as DD's will be) are very close and speak almost daily. MIL likes to inform me she has no contact with her sisters because of the age gaps and my daughters will be the same. Like I said maybe it's just me but this really annoys the heck out of me!

curlylocks3 · April 2014

@Rachel5130‌ have you told them how it makes you feel? What do they say?

My ILs complain every time we visit that we aren't there long enough or don't visit enough. Last visit they even staged an intervention with my husband to discuss this and how their family needs to come first. We were both furious and straight up told them that visiting them wasn't enjoyable when we knew we'd get yelled at each visit and that it made us less likely to visit. I think it gave them a pause at least, but I can't speak to long term effect yet.

SarahS11 · April 2014

@Rachel5130 and @curlylocks3 My ILs are a combo of your two. We never visit enough, spend too much time with my family, they have had "interventions" with DH to say how we need to put effort into seeing their family... However, we have been in our "new" house for 2 years now... They have seen it maybe 3 times... We always have to go back to visit them. They love to try and make us feel guilty for being terrible. I am over it!

mrscbrad · April 2014

@Rachel5130 Pretty much this is our life, too. Our parents live 10 minutes away from us in opposite directions which means they both feel like they should see us every holiday, weekend, birthday, whatever. Not to mention they both insist on having celebrations at the same time which means we always end up missing lunch/dinner all together and making them both angry every single holiday. We have pretty much decided we hate all holidays now and have no clue how much harder it is going to be with a new addition.

kymirandar · April 2014

My mil is trying to make up for the fact she made my husband's childhood miserable. She bought his little sisters nice frilly things, he might have gotten a new shirt from the $ store. Not that I'm above the $ store but the difference she made/still makes is pathetic. My husband was basically raised by my mother once he started dating me 10 yrs ago when he learned what an actual MOTHER was supposed to be like. Loving, caring etc. Now she and his younger sisters want to buy him toys, puzzles and legos that just crowd our house and end up going to my nephew anyhow. He is 27 yrs old!!!!! He doesn't need this crap. You want to make up for everything you did to him? How about apologize and call him every once in a while. When you get mad at him because he favors my Mom over you because she actually is there for him, don't put me in the middle. Then to top it off, she and his sister insist they are doing my maternity pics and when I politely said no I already have a professional booked but thank you, it started WWIII because they aren't good enough for us. No, you just suck at taking pictures even though you proclaim yourselves the best (horrible seriously) and I have had someone booked way on advance. Again, thank you but no. Then they show up to my office and want to sit in my face 1 hr while I'm clearly busy and tell me they have come to do my maternity pictures. How many times can you say no before it's actually comprehended? Wth?! Thank the Lord they live 3 hrs away!

curlylocks3 · April 2014

@SarahS11- same here! I'm not sure if you were aware of this strange phenomenon, but apparently it takes an unacceptable amount of time, effort and money to travel to see us and, magically, the same time, effort an money is not required to travel to see them.

@rachel5130 I'm not even kidding. We can't travel for actual holidays due to my work schedule (which hasn't changed for 7 years but they still think I'm lying about it so they want H to visit by himself and leave me home alone. They are upset about how often we see my parents, even though we travel equal amounts to see both sides- but my parents also travel to see us so we see them more often. They still complain we went on vacation with my parents 4 years ago. The kicker is that we send a basic itinerary and make all our plans before we arrive to see them (his parents are divorced and otherwise each tries to get us to spend the whol time with them so this is the only way to make sure we spend time with each). Despite making plans with siblings and parents, they still bail and skip at the last moment for thugs with their own friends and then have the nerve to complain they don see us enough.

rachel8078 · April 2014

My MIL is just a hot mess, but what got me recently was that she knows the baby's name, made a banner for one shower with it spelled correctly, and saw it spelled out on both shower invitations for weeks. Then, at the second shower, we had a beautiful story book for everyone to write notes to baby in for her to keep, and all of a sudden MIL "forgets" how to spell her name. I'm probably just overly sensitive right now, but I'm convinced she's mad that she wasn't the first to know the name. You gave up those rights when you abandoned DH at 11 (for those of you with steel-trap memories) and then came back acting liking mother of the century.

End rant.

SarahS11 · April 2014

curlylocks3 said:

@SarahS11- same here! I'm not sure if you were aware of this strange phenomenon, but apparently it takes an unacceptable amount of time, effort and money to travel to see us and, magically, the same time, effort an money is not required to travel to see them.

@rachel5130 I'm not even kidding. We can't travel for actual holidays due to my work schedule (which hasn't changed for 7 years but they still think I'm lying about it so they want H to visit by himself and leave me home alone. They are upset about how often we see my parents, even though we travel equal amounts to see both sides- but my parents also travel to see us so we see them more often. They still complain we went on vacation with my parents 4 years ago. The kicker is that we send a basic itinerary and make all our plans before we arrive to see them (his parents are divorced and otherwise each tries to get us to spend the whol time with them so this is the only way to make sure we spend time with each). Despite making plans with siblings and parents, they still bail and skip at the last moment for thugs with their own friends and then have the nerve to complain they don see us enough.

@curlylocks3 Oh my gosh! ALL OF THIS! We really do have the same ILs! They always say we see my family more. Yep, it's true! They choose to come see us! We also went on a vacation with my parents and it became this big ordeal. We must like my parents so much more and hate my ILs cause we just do not share equal time! It's also true about the strange phenomenon! I mean I have been hoarding cash and vacation days that would just make it so easy for us to travel 5 hours to see them every weekend. How did they know!?

crestedlady · April 2014

emilyh107 said:

Thanks @Ahug77‌. He is pretty spoiled. He has a good bit of allergies and he has always been pretty fussy and I think she gives in to him a lot just so he won't cry. Also, he's been through a good bit in his little 2 years. His mom and dad splitting up, moving from Tennessee to Georgia, and going to 3 different schools. The 5 year old I think her attitude is coming from wanting attention from her mom. @becomingmommyagain‌ He is a young 2. Personally, I think he is just a little spoiled. I'm sure he will be like your niece and catch up soon. Every time she mentions about one of her kids having either ADHD/learning disability/or Autism, I ask her to please go get tests done. I know with my DD, at her check ups we have to always answer questions on how they are doing as far as motor skills, speech, etc. If she was honest on his at his 2 year old check up, surely the doctor would have mentioned something. Very frustrating and heartbreaking for my niece and nephew.

@emilyh107 - For your nephew, you can also encourage her to contact early intervention services in her state as well. In my state (Alabama), the providers will come to the home or his primary site of care (i.e. daycare facility) to both evaluate and provide services if he qualifies, though I am not sure if that would hold true in Georgia (from the website, https://dph.georgia.gov/Babies-Cant-Wait, it looks like it does/might). If finances are of concern, it also appears that services are offered on a sliding fee scale depending on need as determined by the program. She would need to get the ball rolling pretty quickly though since children age out at 3 - if he qualifies, it may still be worthwhile even if they were only able to work with him for a few months because a) obviously the services would be a step in the right direction and b) his providers can work with your SIL to create a transition plan for him (if needed) as he goes forward into preschool.

From the above, it sounds like you are doing what you can to help already, but I just thought I'd throw this out there as a possible alternative route for her to explore as well.

kbellizio3 · April 2014

I'm in the same boat as the in-laws claiming that we need to be around or make time for EVERY family holiday. We live an hour and a half from them, they RARELY come down to us. DH has asked them to come help with our new house, they've come down twice to help in the almost 2 years we've had this house. Meanwhile DHs brother and finacee moved to SC and they've flown down there twice in the last 6 months (they've been there less than a year) to go visit. However my dad comes down every weekend and has been for over a year to do renovations on this house (my parents also live an hour and a half away, in the same area as my in laws) and my mom comes down when she can. Yet FIL and sMIL are now trying to tell my dad how much needs to get done before the baby shows up. Uh 1) pretty sure they've never built a house themselves or done big renovations and 2) we've asked for your help but your schedule is "too busy" when we ask. Yet when our schedule is "busy" you accuse DH of not making time for family. Sorry but when this baby gets here I'm not running all over the state of NJ to appease everyone's family functions.

lellymine · April 2014

I'm so glad I'm not the only one dealing with a crappy MIL!

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

I've been pretty lucky as far as ILs go (and so has my DH!!). Since we got married we've lived across the country from my parents - so we really only see them once or twice a year. And when we do see them, its easier to tolerate their "quirkiness".

My husband's parents live in France and don't speak any English (and my French is not that great) so the only interaction I have with them is a wave on the web cam. And they are usually to busy talking about my SILs life or DHs grandmother that they rarely ask about us. Since being pregnant my MIL has been a little more in touch and asks about me but not intrusively. And I'm actually looking forward to her coming in July. Its been 2 years since we've seen her and 6 years since we went to France.

sparklenshine_89 · April 2014

My MIL thinks it's okay for her to mix her medication with alcohol and pot...and then watch my kids. She becomes crazy and violent in this state of mind. I told her this is unacceptable and she said I had no say to how she watches my kids... Let's just say she isn't allowed to watch my kids. And we now live 9 hours away and I'm thankful for that.

coffee89 · April 2014

My MIL thinks being involved in our life is dinner once a month and e-mails about stupid internet crap.

When we told her we were expecting she blew it off to discuss how hard our life is going to get and to talk about our finances. The other night my husband called to ask a question and she spent 10 minutes talking about her 2 other sons and I'm pretty sure didn't even answer DH's question.

She seems to think that since her oldest is considering moving his family closer to his job that we will step up and move in because she doesn't want to take care of the house and can't afford the place. She keeps talking about us renting from her or getting a house with an in-law suite. No thanks, you refuse to clean, you barely cook and you clash with how I wish you raise my children. She's butt hurt because my parents are turning their basement into an apartment for us to save on rent for a year or so until we have a decent house downpayment. What she doesn't seem to grasp is that we have a pretty serious agreement on how our lives living so close will work.

Also, she keeps talking about this $18,000 that she is giving us towards a house and when we asked if we could use some of this money for a car this year... apparently this money doesn't exist...she just happened to give that amount to the middle son last year and feels like she needs to give us the same...but it's currently money she thinks she will have one day. Don't promise me money, and make me think there is an option to sue said money if it is hypothetical!

The biggest issue is that she will not come see us. She's been to our current place once in the past year and even then, DH had to drive her. We only live 45 minutes away, and public transit would get your here in 35 minutes...but it's just too far and we have to go to her. We are moving two hours away and she keeps going on about how she will never get to see our son and that we have to promise to come over to her house twice a month. No woman, you are more than capable of driving and I can get you the whole way without touching a freaking highway if that's your problem.

mschware · April 2014

My MIL (I don't really consider her my MIL cause she lives in Portugal and never talks to DH) is an alcohol and selfish whore who abandoned all her kids and forced them to come to America with their adopted father and constantly put/puts them down. The only time she ever talks to DH or his siblings is if she needs money. She is probably the worst person in the world I've ever met. DH hates her, but yet he is beginning to fall back in her traps because now she SUDDENDLY wants to be involved in our lives now that we are having a baby. (She still hasn't met either of her grandsons who are 5 and 2) As much as I wish DH had a good relationship with a mother, I know this is just one of her traps that she has tried playing on all her kids now that she is running out of money, and I don't want to see DH hurt again. My FIL remarried 5 years ago and so I consider his wife my MIL, but none of us like her either. She only married FIL for all his money and she is the fakest woman I have ever met (who by the way, INSISTED on doing our baby shower and nothing is even planned yet) and now DH doesn't have that great of a relationship with his father either, because he always listens to what his new wife thinks and wants and is so busy with the business that he doesn't really get involved with his kids loves anymore.. He's a great man, but isn't always easy to read or communicate with. Don't even get me started on family's complaining about time spent with them on holidays and making us feel guilty.. It's so ridiculous. & I should mention, I love all of DH's siblings (they were all adopted together), but we live so close to them now and SIL is over with her kids every.single.day. I'm sorry but what makes u think a pregnant woman like me wants to babysit your kids and have to clean up after them every single day u come over uninvited? Not only that, but DH loves his siblings so much that he doesn't see anything wrong with it! This rant could go on for days..

crestedlady · April 2014

emilyh107 said:

Thank you @crestedlady‌! That's great information. I'm going to pass it along to her. She probably isn't award of this.

No problem...I don't know that a lot of people are aware of the services that are available for kids with developmental delays, such as speech, unless their pediatrician brings it up, know someone receiving services, or are involved in the public schools systems in some way.

Sorry I don't have anything constructive to add to the in-law discussions otherwise.

Mine are very quiet and generous sorts...I've enjoyed reading everyone else's stories though.

flerlgirl · April 2014

My in-laws are awesome. That is all.

However, my husband's in-laws are a different story.

PressLove · April 2014

All ILs are designed to calculate how much time they believe you spend with your parents. MIL is two hours away. My family is much further. We can see her in a day trip. My family is at least a weekend trip. It doesn't matter that we see her more often. All she sees is that my family always gets the weekend.

My MIL and I have a very surface-level relationship. She stays in her lane and I stay in mine. I think it works great. As long as we don't go below skin deep, waves are never made. DH thinks we should should be BFFs. No thanks! I'm glad they're close, but her sensitivities and my sarcasm would not mix well. I don't want her crying to DH when I accidentally hurt her feelings.

hubbs173 · April 2014

astalyons said:
Oh where to start?!
1. I'm a NICU nurse in the only children's hospital in the state. My MIL tells everyone I feed and rock babies for a living. Ugh!! Really? So I was feeding and rocking a 24 week baby last night? She refuses to come up to my work to actually see what I do.
2. Before DS she told me I needed to take a parenting class so I could learn how to change diapers, give baths, etc. Ummm.. She thinks I feed and rock babies all day so why would I need to take a class?
3. DH is an only child. My inlaws live 8 hours away. DS is their only grandchild until ds#2 gets here. They haven't been here to see us since November 2012! They expect us to come multiple times a year but won't come here. Money and time are not an issue as they have plenty and they are both retired.

I could go on for hours but those are my top pet peeves in regards to them.

As a new mom of a NICU baby, I will gladly tell your mil how amazing NICU nurses are and how much work they do!!! There's way more to a NICU nurse than rocking and feeding babies!! Thank you for what you do!!! You may not be one of Henry's nurses but I appreciate what you do!!!

misscarter87 · April 2014

@ricecakes1216 Wow im so sorry your mil did that i mean that was just plain rude and disrespectful..i really dont think my mil will attend my shower me and her still arent talking since she called cursing me out 2months ago i think it bothers her i am so diff from my bf last female friend he was involved with a few years ago now since then he has met me we been together 6 years and now suddenly his mom doesnt like me for some strange reason.

lest12 · April 2014

I don't have any horror stories, but my MIL lives two hours away, and has made no mention of her game plan for when the baby is born.

I am anxious because I don't want any houseguests when I get home from the hospital. I need my privacy. I've told DH this so he is prepared if she brings it up, but I just wish it were out in the open and settled so I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

Also, I feel guilty for feeling this way and I secretly hope that she has no intention of staying overnight so I don't have to feel bad for saying I don't want her to.

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