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Probably too early to think about this, but....WWYD?

stellasmommy412stellasmommy412 member
in Birth Stories
My husband missed the birth of DD because she came a week earlier then expected and within about 4 hours and he was a 6 hour plane flight away on business. This time around, we find ourselves having the debate of if he will be in the room. He made a comment about how he will be 'scarred for life' if he watches the birth. Ever since then, I don't know if I want him there at all. Last time, I had a doula and my mom. It was serene, quick, and perfect. I don't want to worry about his impressions of me while I'm trying to stay focused on pain management and the birth of our child. I'm also afraid he will never see me the same again.

Have any of you intentionally not had your SO in the room? Why? 

BabyFruit Ticker
EDD 12/3 - William Garrett
DD - Stella Gwen (5YO)
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Re: Probably too early to think about this, but....WWYD?

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    boymomstrongboymomstrong member
    No not me... But i will tell you my husband was so focused on me and helping me in the pain i was i that nothing else mattered... And when he looks at me now he does see me different, but not in a bad way... He says i am the strongest person he knows, and he has no idea how i did what i did, and he is always in awe that i gave him the best miracle of his life...
    Nothing can compare to the way you feel holding that new baby, he wont even care ab the rest...

    Good luck!

    Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
    All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!

    Baby Dust To All!!!

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    2babymama2babymama member
    My husband wasn't in the room the first time around. And now this time I'm worried about it. But I definitely think you can't be worried about him while your in labor. If it was good last time keep it that way. But tell him he is welcome to be in the room, if HE wants
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    FriskypuppysFriskypuppys member
    I gave mine the option.  He's decided to be there in the delivery room and I have his dad there to back him up and keep him calm.  I'm tickled because he is my rock and calms me down so it will be good for him to be there.

    However, if I thought he would stress me out, he would not be allowed in the room and if it's something he couldn't handle, then he doesn't need to be in there.  The reason being is if he passes out at the sight of blood then he's not going to be a big help to me.

    Each dad to be handles it differently.  Maybe find someone around your age group who's male that's been in the delivery room to talk with him and can calm those fears.  While he says he will be scarred for life, it sounds like it's something deeper and he's covering it up.  So maybe ask more pointed questions.

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    alexgeniealexgenie member
    Is there any way you can take your DH to childbirth classes? If he's with other men and hears and sees what he's in for he may feel more prepared and less likely to let you down emotionally on the big day.
    He'd have to be a pretty shallow, immature man if he began viewing you differently (negatively) after watching you give birth. I'd say 99% of men view their partners more positively after that experience.
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