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Toddler missing Daddy

usarmywifetsousarmywifetso member
in Military Families
I'm sure many of you can relate to my current problem so I'm hoping you're experience can help me out bc this is new for me. DH is in the NG so he's not away often. The only time he's been gone for more than a couple days since DS was born, DS was only 3 weeks old so he didn't even notice. DS is now 19 months old and DH is gone for 3 1/2 weeks for training and DS is definitely noticing. Every time DH calls, DS tries to get to my phone. I put DH on speaker so he can hear his voice and when we hang up, DS cries inconsolably. Whenever he gets fussy and would usually be calling out for me, he's now calling out for Daddy. He also seems to be acting out more; throwing his toys, yelling, hitting, etc. He's obviously too young to explain why Daddy isn't there. It just breaks my heart and I don't know what to do. I realize that at his age, there probably isn't really a whole lot I can do but if anyone has any advice they can offer for things that might help him behave better and deal with the situation, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you all so much!
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Re: Toddler missing Daddy

  • LaciJaxxLaciJaxx member
    He is young but I would still try and explain to him that daddy is working and he's going to be gone for awhile but he's coming back. While it's hard for him to understand, it may feel like he's gone for good to him. Think of your LO's reactions when he went through the seperation anxiety stage. It's probably pretty similar? If you have a set date, maybe make a chain so you can tear one off before bed or in the morning to show him that he's getting closer every day. Is your DH able to skype? Maybe read him a book or something? Tell him goodnight?

    Hang in there!!
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  • LaciJaxxLaciJaxx member
    Also maybe have him color/draw pages to give to daddy when he returns. Just a thought.
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  • MessyMommyMessyMommy member
    I also have a toddler and we live overseas. We've been here a year and my husband has been back and forth between here and several countries. We looked at the calendar and he's been gone more days in the year than he's been with us. My toddler misses her daddy SO much, so I ordered her a Daddy Doll. At first the idea of them was a little creepy to me but I know how much she loves anything daddy so we went for it. Best $30 I've ever spent.
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  • Linz-ELinz-E member
    My husband was away for a month when DD was your sons age. We went to build a bear before he left and had my husband record a message and then put it into the "daddy" bear so she could listen to him whenever she wanted. She still uses it when he goes away.
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  • usarmywifetsousarmywifetso member
    Linz-E said:

    My husband was away for a month when DD was your sons age. We went to build a bear before he left and had my husband record a message and then put it into the "daddy" bear so she could listen to him whenever she wanted. She still uses it when he goes away.

    I love this idea! I'll definitely have to remember it for his next training. Thank you!
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