Pregnant Sex is Hard

chevronseven · April 2014

So it should be evident in the subject that this will be a TMI post, but just another heads up.... Like for real, I am not shy about my sex life and I'm about to put it all out there.

Is anybody else having a hard time (pun intended) with sex? It's bad enough that my belly is all in the way and I can't act sexy and spontaneously switch positions, but now the leg cramps kick in when I get close to orgasm and I have to move around and start over! Oral sex has always been the only way I could have one, even before getting pregnant, and it used to be a really reliable way of getting me there pretty quick. But last night I felt so bad for DH because it took FOREVER. It felt like the nerve endings weren't as sensitive or something. I tried looking it up online but all I could find was that it is in fact ok to have sex while pregnant.

I'm just kinda bummed because I heard so much about how awesome your sex drive will be while pregnant, and the drive is there but it's so much harder to do anything about it!

1982Babies · April 2014

I think everybody is different and you're going to have all sorts of responses!

I've had difficulty in certain positions with the belly and I don't O regularly from it anyway. So, that's my story.

hcsmiley417 · April 2014

I don't have a problem at all! I had sex even with hyperemesis gravidarum (its a severe type of morning sickness). I would puke, have sex, amd take a nap. I have been on bed rest here and there and that means no sex but once the time is up we are gping at it like rabbits. We do it whenever we see each other. We also have a 5,3&1 yr olds. I love the nights we have off together because we have sex all night and really don't sleep. I couldn't imagine not enjoying sex or having it be too hard. My DH is the only one that could ever make me orgasm and now I have multiple orgasms and the "wegasms" (where you both orgasm at the same time) my DH says that he's always turned on when I'm pregnant and it makes him feel like an 18 yr old horny boy (he's 34)
What positions have you tried? Some are better than others!

littlemissmarla · April 2014

i just don't find it that enjoyable during pregnancy.. it has become totally toned down, like you said not easily able to switch things up, attempting to find a comfortable position which just takes away from it.. i'm looking forward to getting my drive back once this kid is out

helloblueeyes · April 2014

I don't even think we've tried since my belly has gotten so much bigger. It was kinda painful and awkward the last time we did it. Also, I used to have the sex drive of a 17 year old boy, not anymore.
And now my boobs are leaking.

So needless to say there is no nookie going on in the blue eyes house right now.

Tbags83 · April 2014

We ended up having a laugh attack yesterday after pregnant sex, it is getting really awkward and I get short of breath so easily... I'm sure we will get it figured out eventually!

cakebatter27 · April 2014

Our sex life is pretty much the same
Once or twice a week. DH works swing shift so it's hard to coordinate our schedules. I still orgasm 99% of the time but more on top now because I feel squished on bottom.

I wish my libido would shoot up like all the apps say it will.

Klv123 · April 2014

My DH won't even have sex with me since I started showing bc it freaks him out that there's a baby in there even though I have reassured him multiple times it's ok. Since the return of my sex drive once I hit the 20 week mark I've had to take matters into my own hands.

seells · April 2014

Our sex life has slowed down a bit but that's on me. I feel awkward becauas I'm always holding my belly because if it jiggles around too much I get sore. I'm anticipating that it's going to start tapering off the bigger I get. So far we've just tried different positions and that's helped. I haven't had any issues with orgasm. I kinda feel like it's easier now and things are more sensitive.

sxymamakat · April 2014

Ours has slowed WAY down. He freaks out when I'm on top that the baby is jostling too much, I can't lay on my back, and when we do that weird sideways thing, my lungs get so compressed, I pant like the thoroughbred that won the derby, but without having gotten to the good parts first. It's basically doggie or bust, but with scheduling and how often I just feel like crap, I miss it desperately. We had a ridiculously hot sex life and I'm determined to get it back post-baby, no matter what it takes or how long the kid has to cry in the crib. ;-)

honeybee434 · April 2014

Pregnant sex really isn't working that well for us either. DH gets freaked out a bit b/c even though he 'knows' it's not a thing, he still kinda feels like he's jamming into his daughter. (his words, not mine). For me, I just can't find a position that feels good, feels comfortable AND where I don't feel like my belly is all over the place or in the way. We loved our sex life before getting pregnant, so I guess we are just not one of the lucky ones right now!

jamboree jess · April 2014

I'm still trying to have sex fairly frequently for DH's sake. Some times are good, other times I simply can't get comfortable. We've tried a bajillion positions and no matter what it seems like he's jabbing something awful, lol. He's a pretty big guy, so I'm not sure if that's partially to blame, but it's driving me nuts.

darkangel42 · April 2014

Ours slowed right down in the beginning bc of me being a peeing, puking mess most of the time (poor OH had to fly solo or go without). I stopped being sick and belly started showing so the OH was afraid of hurting me. We both finally got onto the same page but now I'm too big to move around quickly, can't be flat on my front or back and I get sudden wrist/ankle cramps that kill the mood for both of us when I yelp or collapse.

The will is there but the way is very much not! It sucks because it's so much easier for me to O now whenever we manage to find something that works

INmommy871278 · April 2014

Our biggest issue is cramps that turn to braxton hicks contractions. I would say one out of every three times we have sex it ends with cramps. I feel bad for DH because he wants it so much more than I do, when I was pregnant with DS I jumped him pretty much every night this time I rarely want it.

email2ash · April 2014

We laughed the other day because we realized it's only been once every 3-4 weeks. I feel really awkward and it can be painful. I'll make up for it once I get the green light after the baby!

Myanswer true · April 2014

I find that I want sex, but not the way DH wants it, if that makes sense? I need a ton more touchy-feely of a relatively non-sexual nature to get my engine running enough for legitimate foreplay, and that's never been DH's strong suit. Not to mention I love having my breasts handled, and after all the leakage issues I've had, I think he's afraid to touch them.

emy730 · April 2014

Sex is nearly impossible for me while pregnant. It hurts so damn bad - I'm talking worse than the first time and it just gets worse.

We had a very regular, great sex life before I got pregnant and I miss it.

MonkeyJD · April 2014

We're doing pretty good about making time at least once a week for sex. This is DH's busy time at work so some weeks we've had to actually plan it ahead of time.

I've started getting cramps if we do me on top but any form of doggie style (standing, kneeling) works well.

Funny story, we were in the "getting ready for sex" phase tonight (making out) and DH had his hand on my belly. Baby gave him a super strong kick & DH's eyes lit up. We stopped what we were doing because he was so excited. It was the first solid kick he's felt on his own (without me having to say that was the baby). It happened several more times & I finally told him he just needed to move his hand because baby wasn't going to stop & we had things we wanted to do.

cookieinva · April 2014

We had sex all the way up until the end last time and DS was a week late. So, I guess we got good at figuring out what works with a big ol' baby belly and what doesn't. Is it super-hot, awesome sex? Not usually by this point, but it is enjoyable and keeps us connected so it is worth the effort.

netsirk2013 · April 2014

We have slowed it down. Not as good. Doggy or on top seems to work. Did a strip tease for my husband the other night, he was not impressed. Guess I am a turn off. He said " before pregnancy that was sexy as hell but now you are pregnant. Ick. There's a reason why there are no pregnant strippers. Not sexy".
He really does mean well. I asked him about my swollen feet the other day and yes like " duh they are, all of you is swollen"

Oh thanks. Men are boobs!

TugboatSheila · April 2014

I think DH and I are both pregnant. Both of our sex drives plummeted and haven't really gotten back to normal yet. We still do it, but neither of us think anything of going 2 weeks without so much as high fiving.

When we have sex though and I orgasm I get all weird and crampy most of the time and then we have to wait until that ends for him to finish. Plus when it's happening and all you can see is a mess of boobs flying everywhere and huge belly jiggles it doesn't make me feel very sexy.

pantherRN · April 2014

What's sex?

cuntasaurusrex · April 2014

I've tried to keep our sex life active, but DH has less of a drive than me, and I haven't O'd from sex since I've been pregnant, when before it was achievable 99% of the time prior. It also hurts and uncomfortable to contort. So, naked time is at an all time low over here.

tshelby85 · April 2014

email2ash said:
We laughed the other day because we realized it's only been once every 3-4 weeks. I feel really awkward and it can be painful. I'll make up for it once I get the green light after the baby!

Same here. It's awkward and hurts sometimes. We are continuing all the other fun options. I can't wait to get things back to normal in this department.

middleschoolmommy · April 2014

I feel sorry for DH, so I try to give it up at least once every 2-3 weeks. It's great until we get down to it, then it is uncomfortable and I just want him to finish.
The only way I could O before getting pregnant was being on top, now I get too short of breath or my hips start hurting before I am even close

ETA: A 2nd grade teacher should know the difference between to and too...

darkangel42 · April 2014

netsirk2013 said:

We have slowed it down. Not as good. Doggy or on top seems to work. Did a strip tease for my husband the other night, he was not impressed. Guess I am a turn off. He said " before pregnancy that was sexy as hell but now you are pregnant. Ick. There's a reason why there are no pregnant strippers. Not sexy". He really does mean well. I asked him about my swollen feet the other day and yes like " duh they are, all of you is swollen" Oh thanks. Men are boobs!

We're the other way, I feel ick and blobby and husband thinks pregnancy is extra-sexy. He says it's really common for men to find pregnancy sexy but I think he's just an odd duck!

[Deleted User] · April 2014

I've given up trying to orgasm during sex while pregnant. It's considered a win if I can get through it without clenching my teeth in pain the entire time.

ksuRN09 · April 2014

Our sex life is pretty non existent these days. Poor DH. We had sex a couple weeks ago and it was a little uncomfortable then but now I'm having a lot of pelvic pain and I can't imagine sex will make it better. Plus, I'd love to know where the 2nd tri sex drive idea came from because mine never showed up.

yurmom · April 2014

hcsmiley417 said:
I don't have a problem at all! I had sex even with hyperemesis gravidarum (its a severe type of morning sickness). I would puke, have sex, amd take a nap. I have been on bed rest here and there and that means no sex but once the time is up we are gping at it like rabbits. We do it whenever we see each other. We also have a 5,3&1 yr olds. I love the nights we have off together because we have sex all night and really don't sleep. I couldn't imagine not enjoying sex or having it be too hard. My DH is the only one that could ever make me orgasm and now I have multiple orgasms and the "wegasms" (where you both orgasm at the same time) my DH says that he's always turned on when I'm pregnant and it makes him feel like an 18 yr old horny boy (he's 34)
What positions have you tried? Some are better than others!

I kind of hate you now

AutumnBonfire · April 2014

My sex life slowed way down. I've been getting recurrent yeast infections. As you can imagine, that's not really a turn on. I'll maybe have a window of a week before the next one comes along and depending on how tired we are, sex doesn't always happen. Its still fun when it does. DH behind me (doggy, me standing or leaning) is working the best right now. Me on top might work for a little while longer.

bewilderingstar · April 2014

I'm so glad there are a bunch of us suffering through our sex lives. DH & I try to make time at least once a week to have sex. The week days are out because I am too tired by the time dinner is done. Weekends become difficult if we have a busy schedule so we end up with morning sex. We really do try for once a week though.

Now for the sex itself... Blerg. With my hip being all eff'd up and the big belly in the way we are limited to doggy and this one where I bend one leg up while being on my stomach (propped with a big pillow of course). I feel bad for DH because he wants to do all the positions we norrmally do but it just isn't feasible. So we get a little creative here or there and I kinda suck it up.

Can't wait for normal sexy time. I miss it desperately and I think DH does too.

mrscurlygurl · April 2014

hcsmiley417 said:

I don't have a problem at all! I had sex even with hyperemesis gravidarum (its a severe type of morning sickness). I would puke, have sex, amd take a nap. I have been on bed rest here and there and that means no sex but once the time is up we are gping at it like rabbits. We do it whenever we see each other. We also have a 5,3&1 yr olds. I love the nights we have off together because we have sex all night and really don't sleep. I couldn't imagine not enjoying sex or having it be too hard. My DH is the only one that could ever make me orgasm and now I have multiple orgasms and the "wegasms" (where you both orgasm at the same time) my DH says that he's always turned on when I'm pregnant and it makes him feel like an 18 yr old horny boy (he's 34) What positions have you tried? Some are better than others!

DH is still as into it as ever, but the last time we tried (last weekend) we couldn't finish because it was too uncomfortable for me. He got a BJ out of it, but that's not really super fun for me either. I have zero desire pretty much, so that doesn't help.

jensavicci · April 2014

Well.....I feel bad now because I'm in the mood A LOT. I don't necessarily feel sexy. I feel enormous and in the way. But, I don't let it bother me because my size doesn't prevent me from having good sex. Not gonna lie, I got laid last night lol and it was fabulous. I'm at my sexual peek right now so I'm going to enjoy it before total discomfort sets in.

Clearly I'm one of the odd balls in this case.

jcartz · April 2014

Always in the mood but can't seem to get into it once things get started, let alone orgasm. I'm over- thinking whether I'm gonna fart or if the baby will kick, plus I always have contractions after so that's on my mind too. I want to love it so I'll keep trying for his sake but I'm not loving pg sex this time around.

drunkenhandstand · April 2014

DH pretty much becomes a gay man when I'm pregnant. In that I mean he looks at me the way a gay man would look at a female in the sexy time department. Freaked out and confused. It would probably hurt my feelings if this wasn't our 3rd go at this kid making thing. That's just how he is. And honestly it's fine bc I have zero drive.

BeardLover · April 2014

This post makes me feel better about our sex life now, too, so thanks. I'm not ever in the mood, but when I do give it up, it's so uncomfortable that I just wish he'd hurry. He hates doggy, I can't breathe on top, my ass is too big for spooning, blah! I hate bjs so handjobs are a regular occurance now.

TurtleMonsters · April 2014

Sex life is no slower, because it was really slow until we TTC'd, but it is more unpredictable as to how it's going to go. we have some really lazy side laying positions that work well- esp with circulation and carpal tunnel.

Cristy1020 · April 2014

Sex, yeah right. Haven't got lucky in a loooong time. DH always compliments me how sexy I am, but whenever it comes to the bedroom, forget about it.
We've been in the process of buying a house, so everytime I ask him why aren't you attracted to me anymore he says he is, he's just stressed out with the house. I'm getting the feeling he's a little freaked out with the baby bump. Last time we got it on he kept asking me if everything was okay. "I think I'm smashing the baby", " maybe we are being too rough" ugh. REALLY. DH has always been a man with needs so I always wonder how he fulfills his needs being that we are together most of the time. Maybe he's been doing what Ive been doing. An lets just say I shower Longer than usual.

darkangel42 · April 2014

All this talk is making me want it but the husband is working til 11 tonight. I just can't stay up that late anymore

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[Deleted User] · April 2014

On my way to get DH from the airport after a short business trip. I foresee sexy time this evening. My sex drive has been on and off but we manage about once a week. This may be TMI but we found a great position- me on my back back my head elevated, him on his side- one of my legs between his and the other strapped over this shoulder. It's kind of like lazy sideways scissor sex and the belly at this point hasn't gotten in the way.

keshupe29 · April 2014

Sex?? What's that?? Not much happening here. Super uncomfortable and not enjoyable. Maybe once a month... Poor DH.

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