DHs work schedule after baby

kwolslager · April 2014

What are your SOs plans for work during / after the arrival of LO? Is he going to keep working straight on through? Will he take a few days off? Or will he take paternity leave?

And how are you, as a recovering post-partum mom, going to handle these plans?

I was super lucky with my first two kids and was able to have DH home for the first few weeks. But this time is totally different. DH was self employed up until a month ago, then basically his entire work load was gone and we have been living on savings for the last month. DH was scrambling to find work, any work. And had to resort to doing a paper route for the local paper just to have some income. With me being so close to having LO I couldn't go out and get a job so I've been doing things at home for money, such as babysitting etc.
Well today DH was able to find a full time job, thank the Lord. But his start date is two days after my scheduled C-section. I'm very grateful that he will be able to be there for those days. However, he's planning on doing BOTH the full time job (which is 6 days a week) AND the paper route (which is 7 days a week). Which means he will be gone for 8 hours in the evening, have 3 hours in the middle of the night, and then be gone again for 3-4 hours in the early morning. Then sleeping most of the day.
My mind is having a freak-out just thinking about it. How am I going to handle a 4 year old, an 18 month old, and a newborn by myself almost immediately after the birth?

deidremaria · April 2014

You'll find ways to make it work. I know lots of families who do. My bf won't get any time off for the birth or to spend a few days with us so our only option is really just hoping that baby comes on one of his off days. It makes me a little sad but I've come to terms with it. You'll be amazed at what you can accomplish as a mom

Luckie519 · April 2014

We are in a similar situation. DH was just offered a job he has been waiting on for over 2 years. He was assigned to a post about 2 hours and 30 minutes south of us. He will have to report there on 05/05 (my scheduled c-section is 04/09) for 30 days then go to an academy in GA for 4 months.

I am lucky that with his FMLA and notice, I will get him here with me for about a month after the baby is born, but after that, for the time he is at the academy, I will only get to see him weekends. At this point, we have no idea what his schedule will be like at his post.

I will have a newborn and an almost 4 year old. I am also freaking out. The thought of having two kids kind of scared me to begin with, now add to the mix, DH won't be here. I am lucky enough to have my ILs 4 houses down and they have agreed to help, I am just worried about having to rely on other people. Also, several friends have offered to help, including one who said she could stay with me if needed. We will see how it goes, but I keep telling myself single moms and military wives do it, so I can.

Good luck to you!

joyfullyfound · April 2014

When DD was born, DH had NINE glorious months of paternity leave... it was amazing. This time around the 9 months are still available to him but he's up for a promotion at work and taking the time off would interfere with his prospects, so we're really not sure how much time he'll take off. Maybe a month... maybe more if they seem open to it at work... but it won't be the full 9 months again.

I'm feeling great about it. Even if he just takes a month, that really is a huge amount of time and will get us through the biggest transition period.

amhah09 · April 2014

DH took a week with us. It's the most time he's taken yet. With DS (first baby) he went back after a few days. With DD1 (second baby) he went back to work the day we left the hospital. That kind of sucked - being home immediately with a 21 month old and newborn. But it worked out. This time he took a week and went back to his Sunday through Thursday 12 hour shifts. Me + 3 1/2 y/o DS + 22 month DD1 + DD2.

Sarahjess06 · April 2014

SO has a week of vacation he can take... so yay for that... He could take paternity leave but it's unpaid and we can't afford it right now... recently bis work jut his overtime so if they don't give it back in the next month or 2 he is insisting on finding a part time job, so I can stay home.

He is a wonderful man to want to work so hard to keep me home... but it stresses me out to imagine being home all day... everyday with a 2 year old and newborn.

Emily041285 · April 2014

DH is taking 2 weeks but I had to practically beg him. I'm due the 9th and his busy season starts the 11th so we'll see how much he really is home. I don't have a support system here but I think I'm going to be ok. Since I'm a FTM I've done a ton of research on almost everything. I feel like the more I read the better prepared I'll be.

Stace0616 · April 2014

DH is supposedly taking 2-3 weeks as we are pretty sure I'll need a c-section. He knows I need help the first couple weeks and we don't have family close enough to help out. I'll probably also try to rope some of my friends into coming over to keep me company, but we'll see. My best friend is weird about babies, but he loves me to death and is scared about my surgery, so I may play the medical card vs. "come see the baby".

chirico3 · April 2014

I agree with PP, sometimes you just do it. I hope everything will turn out fine, though, with you taking care of your baby.
Husband will take the day of delivery off, then go back to work on the days I am at the hospital (he can come only during visiting hours anyway, so it makes no sense to waste vacation days) and take 2-3 days off after I get back home. I am ok with this, since he works shifts and has days off even during the week, but I am dreading when he'll have night shift and I'll be home alone at night with LO...

hlm184 · April 2014

DH gets 13 days. I think that counts weekends though.

MrsZ0811 · April 2014

My DH is taking one week (he works 4 10s.) Maybe an extra day depending on what day of the week I go into labor. He could take his FMLA time but that is unpaid and his is the only income we have, so that isn't an option. On the upside, he works the weekend shift so my mom and my mil are both off at least two of his work days and so are many of my friends. I'm not too worried about taking care of the baby on my own. DH is sad he wont get as much bonding time at home as he would like though.

AmberLiz99 · April 2014

Dh will take about a week off. He took the same amount when ds was born. It will all work itself out

thomas930 · April 2014

DH will go back to work as soon as we are home from the hospital but my Mom will be here for two weeks so I will still have help. Once she has left DH will take his paternity leave, which is 2 weeks and paid at 100%. I will say that we are extremely lucky to have this set up. I will have help for pretty much the first month.

With our first two he could only take the first week off and about half of that was spent in the hospital and only a few days at home.

RedDawnsRevenge · April 2014

Just picked DH up from bakersfeild airport last night. He's been on a wind farm in NH since March. His new boss says he can take all the time he needs, oh course it's all unpaid. The other day his boss had suggested DH stay home for a whole month and fill in a spot at a solar farm in Visalia? So DH may do that, he'd get paid, and they'd have a warm body for the position, and he'd get to see DD's for a month.

Tferr02 · April 2014

DH gets 10 days, including weekends. And then when LO is a month old, DH will leave for 16 weeks. I'm dreading that part, being completely responsible for a 2 year old and newborn for 4 months

heids4787 · April 2014

My DH is probably taking the the 4 days off while I'm being induced and getting home from the hospital, but then heading back to work that Mon/Tues after the weekend. My parents are making the trip to stay for a couple extra days and my in-laws are in the area, as well.

I will love the extra family help, but there is still something to be said about having your DH there to work as a team. I'm a FTM (so I can only imagine the challenge of juggling 3 LO's under the age of 3), but like others are posting, I'm putting faith in the maternal instinct we were born with and that everything will work out once a rhythm is established.

Good luck ladies!!

Elf2718 · April 2014

My SO just started a new job an hour away 2 wks ago. He did tell them about the pregnancy and about his plan to take a WK off with us when Baby B is born. They are perfectly fine with it....only downside is he doesnt have vacation time right now so it'll be w/o pay.
Luckily, I get STD while on ML and I will be using a vacation WK as well...plus I have my taxes set aside so that I don't feel like we won't be ok, financially.

rtv3 · April 2014

DH works night and will probably take a day or two but he has a lot going on at work right now, so not more than that. This is our first so it'll be just me and her figuring it out

I do have quite a bit of supportive non-pushy family in the area though, so hopefully it'll be ok!

momofmanyinthemitten · April 2014

DH will take a week of vacation off of work, minus one afternoon so he can see his shot patients (he's an allergist). When I was pregnant with #2, I never had any worries about being able to "handle" two kids. They were more worries about how DD would adjust and how we'd get into a routine. Now that I'm ready to give birth to #3, it's more about the physical handling of the three kids (3, 14 mos, nb). It took 2 wks after #2 was born for us to get into a routine, so I'm hoping that it won't take much longer than that with this addition as well. FWIW, I find that my days run much more smoothly when DH is working than when he's at home with us. Do you have family/friends/church nearby that can help? My ILs live around the corner, but it will only be FIL, as MIL is staying with DH's brother and his family, who are expecting on the same day as we are. The church ladies are great about bringing dinners, which helped a lot last time.

pdilly2b · April 2014

DH will take off for as long as I'm in the hospital, which will be hopefully be just 1 night if I get both rounds of antibiotics for GBS, or 2 nights if I'm not there long enough to do both. Then he'll probably take off a couple half days in the first week and my mom will come be with me and the baby a few hours some days too. This is what we did with DS and it worked well. I didn't find being alone with baby to be overwhelming until later on when DS was awake and fussy more hours of the day.

I want DH to save most of his leave so he can take 1-2 days a week later in the summer so we can bootstrap between him, me, and my mom once I ease back into work so we can wait to avoid daycare until 4 months or so.

alysemci · April 2014

My husband is going back to both jobs the day after we get home from the hospital. He's gone 7 long days a week but what can you do. Need to make ends meet somehow

NicoleAnne416 · April 2014

DH will be off 4 days total. We should get home from the hospital on the 3rd day, have the 4th together and then he goes back to work. That's the way we've always done it. I'm just glad my two are older now so I should only be up with the baby at night and not a toddler as well, and my kids have school for another 5-6 weeks yet before summer after baby comes.

MadBloom · April 2014

So mine is entitled to a week of paid leave to be present for the birth of his child. Then he is actually having surgery on the 21st which requires minimum 2 weeks at home recovery. We'll be taking Short term disability for that. So basically he'll have like 3 weeks off almost in a row and go back May 5th. Most of his surgery recovery time will be just him chilling with the baby since he won't be able to lift over 10 pounds.... Fingers crossed I don't end up with a section or we'll be in trouble!

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