So. Have a 11 year old stepson and we see him tues and thurs 3-8 and every other weekend Saturday 9am till Sunday 8 pm. He lives with his mom and other half siblings with her new bf parents and she has since moving in with them she can't get Lang with them so now instead of having the parents take him and sister down the street to bus stop she take them to her parents house to have her take them to school( her house is 20 mins away instead of stay at the house they live in that's 2 minutes away from the school). The big problem is she wakes u the children at 525 am to lave and go to her parents house he can't take a shower in morning and she takes them out to her brothers or mothers at night for dinner a lot and doesn't et the kids home till 9 pm, so he can't ale shower at night . We found out again today that he didn't have a shower since at our house Saturday night. He smelled so bad. Not joking. I don't know what we can do about what she is doing. He is afraid of his mother she always yells at him and she is the boss. She doesn't care about weather they get showers, this is words from my stepson. She never spends time with her children. I tell my husband he should sit down with her but he never does
Re: Stepson
Why doesn't your husband try to get custody?
OMG - 11 yo can get so stinky!
Does it bother SS that there is no time for a shower, or does he not really care? If you really think he stinks (but he doesn't seem to care), then you can insist on his days with you that he showers at your house. Yes, it juts into your "family time" but is important.
If he doesn't care, then your H needs to have a talk to him about hygiene. Also, that he will be thought of as "that kid who smells" and he will not outlive it! Your SS at 11 yo should be old enough to take a quick shower, at 5:30, 9 pm, or any time in between. If he has gym or sports, he can shower after gym. You can also provide him with a small shower caddy with some all-in-one shampoo/body wash and deodorant.
If SS DOES care, and he is being prevented from taking showers because BM "doesn't have time" or is "too busy," then your H needs to step up to the plate and address it. He needs to make it clear that hygiene is considered in measuring how well SS is cared for, and if he constantly comes to your home smelling like he needed a bath three days ago, he is going to speak to his lawyer about getting SS for extra time.
Maybe speak to a counselor at school, or the school nurse, to see if she agrees to back you up?
All discreetly of course and with efforts to contact their parents about the issues.