My birth story.

ncboden · April 2014

I am writing this story not for anyone to feel bad or anything. I am just trying to share my experience to maybe help me work past it. For some reason it has been very hard for me to just let it go, and I still start to cry when thinking about it.

First I will tell you a little about my history. After that I will go into the preganacy then the birth. and i will conclude with a bit about after we left the hospital. My name is Candy and my husband (Nick) and I have been married for 5 1/2 years. We recently decided we wanted to expand our family and started to try and have a child. Well, it didnt take long at all before I was pregnant. We have to very excited sets of first time grandparents, and some equally excited soon to be aunts and uncles too.

The pregnancy was pretty normal it took a few months to get insurance. It seems insurance companies do not want to cover you if you are already pregnant.

After that bit of stress we had a problem with my husbands company laying him off too often, so he tryed for a month and found a better job. So, all in all i had a fairly easy pregnancy other than those few stresses. I also didn't get sick much either. I couldnt eat reeses (my favorite candy) nothing with red sauce and no sausage (I still can't eat sausage). I gained about 45 pounds during my pregnancy too, and I am still struggling to get it off. I do miss the wonderful kicks and movement.

On to the birth. I was nearingthe end of week 40, and it was about 3 am when I called my husband to say I thought contractions were getting closer. But, I was worried to just go in to the hospital because they weren't really painful. I also was afraid of just being sent right back home. By 5:30 am I called my mom and said i believe it's time. Still contractions were only 8 minutes apart and not hurting that bad. My mom came to pick me up, and we probably were at the hospital around 6 am. They said I was only dialated 1 cm, which I was fine with because my husband was still on his way home from work. At this point is when i lost track of all time so I will go ahead and tell what happened with no time until baby was born. My husband shows up, and they give me the option of the epideral. I was told I didn't have to decide right away, and I decided to wait a while. They gave me meds to hurry contractions along, and at that point I got really nervous and asked for the epidural. I still wasn't feeling too much pain but I also was afraid of what could be. The people that did the epidural, I am not sure how good they were. It seemed to take longer than it should have and it hurt alot. It made my legs jerk too. They finally get done with that, and i think I was at 2 cm by then. Well all the sudden I was at 6 cm and nurses and doctors were running in. It seemed that everytime I would have a contraction baby's heart rate would slow to around 50 bpm (normally around 155 bpm). this would go on for 5 or 6 minutes at a time. Well with all the rushing around (and my fear of hospitals) I was really starting to freak out now. I was at 8 cm by then and they told me he must comeout now, and I must start pushing. Well I tryed and tryed, nothing seemed to happen. so they immediately tookme in for an emergency csection. I am absolutely afraid now. My husband was feeling too weak from lack of eating and nervousness, so my mom went in the operating room with me. We get in to the operating room and they are rushing around me, one doctor is cutting me open, another pumping more pain meds in me. I felt the cut I felt the pulling. The doctor administering the pain meds said that the doctor operating needed to wait for the meds to kick in. They said no, things needed done now. I kept complaing I could feel it all and it hurt really bad. I was so scared. My mom was right there telling me everything was ok. And then I heard the crys. I immediately started to ball. And I could still feel them stitching me and everything. At this point,though, I could not move any part of my body (all the meds they pumped in me). At 11:51 am My baby boy was born! He was absolutely fine, but I cannot say the same for me. I was absolutley terrified, in pain, and couldn'tmove.

Acoording to my mom i was in the operating room for 4 minutes! It seemed like an hour to me. She told me later that I also started hemeraging too. It still makes me cry that a room full of my relatives got to hold him before I did, Because it was a couple hours before I could movemy limbs again. Our Lincoln Douglass was healthy and getting lots of love from everyone, and I was calming down from being so scared for him and me and everything.

3 days later I go home with all the wonderful instructions on what not to do during the healing process. The scar was definately painful. And of course my clumsy self slips down our stairs. I use the railing to catch myself, and wind up pulling on the wound. That was very painful! It is now 21 weeks later, and the scar is still quite tender, my weight is still bugging me, but our sweet little baby is so amazing. He has been a very vocal baby. Alot of crying for most of the hours of the days. But, when he is not crying and we are not worried why he crys, it is so amazing. We love our Link so much. Now he is also crying less as he gets older, andhe is figuring out new sights and sounds. We are enjoying parenthood so much. Everyday something new happens and it makes us so happy.

Lincoln Douglass Boden born 11/06/2014 at 11:51 am

Proud parents: Candy and Nick Boden

theholmanherd · April 2014

ncboden said:

I am writing this story not for anyone to feel bad or anything. I am just trying to share my experience to maybe help me work past it. For some reason it has been very hard for me to just let it go, and I still start to cry when thinking about it.
First I will tell you a little about my history. After that I will go into the preganacy then the birth. and i will conclude with a bit about after we left the hospital. My name is Candy and my husband (Nick) and I have been married for 5 1/2 years. We recently decided we wanted to expand our family and started to try and have a child. Well, it didnt take long at all before I was pregnant. We have to very excited sets of first time grandparents, and some equally excited soon to be aunts and uncles too.
The pregnancy was pretty normal it took a few months to get insurance. It seems insurance companies do not want to cover you if you are already pregnant. After that bit of stress we had a problem with my husbands company laying him off too often, so he tryed for a month and found a better job. So, all in all i had a fairly easy pregnancy other than those few stresses. I also didn't get sick much either. I couldnt eat reeses (my favorite candy) nothing with red sauce and no sausage (I still can't eat sausage). I gained about 45 pounds during my pregnancy too, and I am still struggling to get it off. I do miss the wonderful kicks and movement.
On to the birth. I was nearingthe end of week 40, and it was about 3 am when I called my husband to say I thought contractions were getting closer. But, I was worried to just go in to the hospital because they weren't really painful. I also was afraid of just being sent right back home. By 5:30 am I called my mom and said i believe it's time. Still contractions were only 8 minutes apart and not hurting that bad. My mom came to pick me up, and we probably were at the hospital around 6 am. They said I was only dialated 1 cm, which I was fine with because my husband was still on his way home from work. At this point is when i lost track of all time so I will go ahead and tell what happened with no time until baby was born. My husband shows up, and they give me the option of the epideral. I was told I didn't have to decide right away, and I decided to wait a while. They gave me meds to hurry contractions along, and at that point I got really nervous and asked for the epidural. I still wasn't feeling too much pain but I also was afraid of what could be. The people that did the epidural, I am not sure how good they were. It seemed to take longer than it should have and it hurt alot. It made my legs jerk too. They finally get done with that, and i think I was at 2 cm by then. Well all the sudden I was at 6 cm and nurses and doctors were running in. It seemed that everytime I would have a contraction baby's heart rate would slow to around 50 bpm (normally around 155 bpm). this would go on for 5 or 6 minutes at a time. Well with all the rushing around (and my fear of hospitals) I was really starting to freak out now. I was at 8 cm by then and they told me he must comeout now, and I must start pushing. Well I tryed and tryed, nothing seemed to happen. so they immediately tookme in for an emergency csection. I am absolutely afraid now. My husband was feeling too weak from lack of eating and nervousness, so my mom went in the operating room with me. We get in to the operating room and they are rushing around me, one doctor is cutting me open, another pumping more pain meds in me. I felt the cut I felt the pulling. The doctor administering the pain meds said that the doctor operating needed to wait for the meds to kick in. They said no, things needed done now. I kept complaing I could feel it all and it hurt really bad. I was so scared. My mom was right there telling me everything was ok. And then I heard the crys. I immediately started to ball. And I could still feel them stitching me and everything. At this point,though, I could not move any part of my body (all the meds they pumped in me). At 11:51 am My baby boy was born! He was absolutely fine, but I cannot say the same for me. I was absolutley terrified, in pain, and couldn'tmove.
Acoording to my mom i was in the operating room for 4 minutes! It seemed like an hour to me. She told me later that I also started hemeraging too. It still makes me cry that a room full of my relatives got to hold him before I did, Because it was a couple hours before I could movemy limbs again. Our Lincoln Douglass was healthy and getting lots of love from everyone, and I was calming down from being so scared for him and me and everything.
3 days later I go home with all the wonderful instructions on what not to do during the healing process. The scar was definately painful. And of course my clumsy self slips down our stairs. I use the railing to catch myself, and wind up pulling on the wound. That was very painful! It is now 21 weeks later, and the scar is still quite tender, my weight is still bugging me, but our sweet little baby is so amazing. He has been a very vocal baby. Alot of crying for most of the hours of the days. But, when he is not crying and we are not worried why he crys, it is so amazing. We love our Link so much. Now he is also crying less as he gets older, andhe is figuring out new sights and sounds. We are enjoying parenthood so much. Everyday something new happens and it makes us so happy.
Lincoln Douglass Boden born 11/06/2014 at 11:51 am
Proud parents: Candy and Nick Boden

I'm sorry you had to feel all that; how awful! I'm glad he was okay, though. You'll recover, but remember there's no shame in seeking counseling if you need. It sounds like a traumatic event and you may benefit from talking it out.

SandFHasse · April 2014

I'm sorry you went through all of that. My birth story is almost exactly the same as yours except I was put under anesthesia. Ive been having a hard time coping as well.

prismantie · April 2014

im soo sorry u had to go through that,im 19 weeks going to 20,pheeeew now im really nervous,but hope u get well soon and enjoy this precious gift god gave u,all the best...

GPeterson24 · April 2014

I'm sorry to hear you had such a stressful experience. Did they determine why baby's heart rate was dropping?

I definitely agree that you should seek out someone to talk to about your experience so you can heal and work through it.

Side note: Lincoln Douglas is the name of the baby boy I'm expecting right now...so crazy! :-)

margaritachikita · April 2014

So sorry to hear about this traumatic birth. I am a birth doula and it breaks my heart to read stories like yours. It sounds like they probably should have sent you home when you came in at only 1cm dilated. I am surprised they offered you an epidural that early too. Your body probably just needed more time. Have you ever seen the business of being born? It's free on netflix. It sounds like you had the classic cascade of interventions leading up to a c section. It also sounds like you werent fully informed or given choices about what was happening to you and the baby. That is very frustrating. Anyway you could look into postpartum doulas or a traumatic birth support group for help. And if you end up having another baby in the future, definitely consider hiring a doula to help you with labor and delivery. Congrats on your little one, feel better soon!!!

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