Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Newbie Play date part 2
You can..I started to tear naturally and ended with an episiotomy due to the severeness of the tear and the jagged nature of it. So, I consented to it because I thought a severe unnatural tear might be worse!
Before coming on TB I also thought they rarely did episiotomies anymore :-/
IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.
I swore up and down that I didn't want an episiotomy. During pushing, my midwife said she was thinking about it. I said great. DH made EVERYONE in the room stop and asked me if I was sure (he was listening the whole time, who knew!!?). I said yes, because oh my goodness the pressure. A small episiotomy and she came out in two more pushes. Turns out she didn't tuck her head in like was supposed to, so it was a bigger circumference. I had an epidural, so it didn't hurt to get and didn't hurt to be stitched. I was so nervous about healing, but I didn't even need advil more than once a day. No burning while peeing, no tightness, no discomfort or itching. It was super easy, and I don't generally heal easily so it was a nice surprise.
I had a catheter during my epidural because I peed myself. My water had already broken when I got the epi, and they didn't automatically put one in. I woke up 1.5 hours later with a huge gush of liquid and called the nurse, thinking it had either re-broken, which I'm not sure is possible, or I had peed myself. Because with the pitocin and the epidural, they also had me on a ton of fluids, they chose to just do a catheter and leave it up there until I was done. Again, didn't feel it going in or being taken out.
The epidural was awesome. A bee sting when they put in the numbing agent, then a kind of odd feeling as they place the needle, and then all that's left is a tiny little plastic catheter in your back that's connected to the tube with the meds. I couldn't feel anything other than pressure, but could still move my legs and feel to push. Once again, I'll try going without, but I'm not afraid of it anymore, and I didn't notice when they took that one out, either!
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
-- end quote --
Yeah, we only used mesh bumpers once DS started rolling around, getting his legs and arms stuck between the slats, and it was really disrupting his sleep. If he wasn't such an active sleeper, we wouldn't have used them at all.
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13
@InternationalKate, I was driven around while pumping...and based on that alone I don't recommend actual driving while pumping. It's a PITA and there are multiple tubes involved (well, two), plus the cord. Unless you have long tubes, you'd have to have the pump on your lap, which would put it in the way of the steering wheel. Also, what happens if you have to slam on your brakes? That seems like a bad plan. At least when you're the passenger, if the driver slams on the brakes, you can use your hands for added support.
That said, as the passenger, I had success pumping in the car on multiple occasions. Depending on the car, no one will ever see what you are doing anyway, so I barely even used the cover.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
Where is the option for childbirth via magical, I dream of genie style, wink and the baby is here, transport?
I was similar. DD stayed home with DH and almost never was awake when I left for work (although I did normally feed her a couple times during the night). I pumped on the way to work and the way home - never had an issue. Used the same method as PP.
@MrsRahl I am getting the TDap at my next appointment, and the people who will be around LO the most will need to get it as well (in our case, that's DH, my mom, and my stepson who already has it because he's required to for school). I had posted in a thread a while back about worrying about my ILs not getting it but since we don't see them often, I just plan to be super vigilant about them washing up thoroughly before touching her. Same goes for any friends who come to visit.
ETA: I just checked the PA state laws and apparently the T&D are required for school age kids, but not pertussis - so I am checking with my stepson's mom to see if he has had a shot specifically for pertussis and if he hasn't, he will be getting one.
@wtfisup Our hospital offers an Infant CPR class and a Newborn Care class you can elect to take (at a cost) but they don't just show you that stuff when you're there or anything, as far as I know.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
I'm not new. I just hate The Bump.
The bumpie formerly known as First Time in MI
BFP#2: EDD 2/11/14, MMC confirmed 7/15/13 (growth stopped at 6 weeks), D&C @ 12 weeks 7/25/13