I think I know the answer... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I think I know the answer...

Hi ladies,
I posted here a couple of days ago on another post. I just want to vent right now X(. As I said in one of those posts I am playing the waiting game to find out whether I've had a missed miscarriage or not (here is my original story from another board: http://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12297411/frustrating#latest). Unfortunately I think I already know the answer. All the signs point to mmc :(. I went and had my second bloods taken this morning to check my HCG, the whole time I was there I couldn't help thinking there was no point in me doing this because it's all going to end badly anyway. I am having the hardest time trying to be positive and hopeful. I just know in my heart that the results aren't going to be good. I felt yesterday that my pregnancy symptoms had started to taper off. Well this morning I woke up and they have completely disappeared. I no longer feel pregnant in the slightest. I keep poking and prodding my boobs trying to see if I can make them hurt but nope. A few days ago if I had done that I would have winced in pain, even yesterday they were at least a tiny bit sore. I know symptoms don't always mean anything but for some reason I know my loss of symptoms means everything. I've been cramping slightly, although I've been cramping throughout the pregnancy but this time it feels different. No blood thank God but If I don't bleed then I won't know the answer for sure until Monday when I'm supposed to be having a follow up scan. The waiting is absolutely killing me. My boss has insisted I take the week off work so I'm just sitting around freaking out but I can't actually do anything but think about the fact that I may be miscarrying anyway. I'd be thinking about if if I was working too I guess. This is my first pregnancy and never in a million years did I think that it would be anything but prefect. Although I have lost almost all hope I am still praying to God that he will let our little baby live and hoping like crazy there will be some kind of miracle. Like I said I just wanted to vent so thanks for reading :|.

image
image

Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!

Re: I think I know the answer...

  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    edited March 2014
    @qanda2013 I have been trying to keep busy doing exactly that - watching junk TV lol. Murder investigation shows on the crime channel in fact. Kind of morbid maybe but it's always been my favourite! - I've also been keeping busy looking at celeb gossip sites etc but like you said it's a real strain, this awful thing is always on my mind. I have my FILs birthday dinner tonight (we live with my in laws) and although it's going to be really freaking awkward as everyone knows but I know no one will mention it for fear of upsetting my husband and I maybe it will provide some kind of a distraction. Oh God, I just wish there was some kind of phone app or something that could just tell me what's going on right now!

    EDIT: Forgot to mention I am by myself. My husband stayed home with me the past few days and wanted to stay with me for the rest of the week but I insisted he go to work. No point in both of us being totally miserable. Plus I have kind of liked being on my own today, gives me space to properly think (and cry!).

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm in the exact same boat as you. I just found out last Friday that I was experiencing a MMC. Like you, my symptoms went away and I just knew that the baby the gone.

    I read your post and had to reread who posted this because I just went through the same thing. I started the Cytotec last Saturday and had blood drawn today. My HcG levels went down and am glad that the physical part is over. Emotionally I'm pretty much bipolar. I'm fine if I'm distracted. When I'm alone I get sad.

    The wait to find out the fate of your baby is horrible. I haven't posted since I found out but felt compelled to reach out to you. Good luck and I hope that you get some good news. >:D<
    Anniversary
  • Loading the player...
  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    @laurenstar18 thank you for your reply. It really is comforting to know I'm not the only one. I'm so sorry for your loss  :( Good luck for the future. No one deserves to go through this.

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
    laurenstar18
  • @Yaz14‌ I agree 100%. I never knew how heartbreaking this experience would be. I also never imagined my first pregnancy to end in a MC. This experience has changed me forever and it really is like a piece of me has died. We are forced to move on and I'm just not sure how to grieve. I hope to see you around here and hopefully on a BMB.
    Anniversary
  • When do you get your bloodwork back?


    image

    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome

    Chart

  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    @laurenstar18  you describe it perfectly. I hope to see you on a BMB too!  :)

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    @AggieBeth06 I'm going to call the clinic in about half an hour. They should have my results back I think. I'm dreading making that call. Say a prayer for me!

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • I will. I think that will give you a more definitive idea of what is going on.

    (((Hugs)))


    image

    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome

    Chart

  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    So I got the results for one of the tests back (there should be two). They assured me they would have both of them back by now but they only had the result of the first test which is 54,200. Apparently that's right on par with the ultrasound (measuring 6w). They said I'd have to call back tomorrow for the second result :-S . So basically not much has actually been revealed but at least it's something. I may be able to sleep a little better tonight. 

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • Good luck.

    Remember if it's confirmed that it isn't a miscarriage (and I truly hope for you that it isn't), we are a board of grieving women. Sometimes in grief it is hard to embrace someone else's rainbow, so I ask for sensitivity please.

    (((Hugs))) hope you get your answer soon. Waiting is horrid.


    image

    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome

    Chart

    [Deleted User]
  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    @AggieBeth06 It doesn't look like I'll be getting my rainbow. HCG dropped from 54,200 to 49,800 over 48 hours. Midwife tells me not to hold my breath and that it doesn't look good. I still have to wait till Monday for the ultrasound to confirm.

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • I am so sorry for you that the news was not better but I am still rooting for your Monday follow up. I'd love nothing more than to see someone leave this board for that reason. Hugs.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







    [Deleted User]
  • I'm so sorry, @Yaz14‌. Hugs to you while you endure the next few days.

    :(


    image

    PG#1 - 3rd cycle BFP. Team Green. HELLP syndrome @ 34 weeks.
    Later diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, possible link to HELLP.

    PG#2 M/C 3/14 - Surprise BFP 2/13. Beta's doubled every 52 hours from 3w5d-5w5d
    Viable pregnancy scan at 5w5d; 2nd u/s showed 2 days of growth in 7 but a HB of 120
    3rd u/s on 3/10/14 had no HB and baby had only grown 7 days over 14
    D&C 3/17/14 - complications - DX Retroflexed uterus, multiple tears to cervix

    All Welcome

    Chart

  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    @stephy1221 thank you. I hope so too but I don't want to be devastated all over again if it turns out to be bad so I'm not holding onto hope  :(

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • @yaz14 I completely understand the feeling. Hugs.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







  • Yaz14Yaz14
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    Aw, thank you @qanda2013 I really appreciate that! I'm holding up ok although I still feel like I'm in limbo. I think I'll feel like that until my ultrasound on Monday. That appointment really cannot come soon enough. Even though I know it's probably going to be bad news I just want it confirmed and over with. My husband insisted I come out and run errands with him today and he took me to lunch. I'm glad I did that rather than sit at home all day, I feel a lot better having actually left the house. Anyway I'm rambling now lol but again, thank you for that. It really does help to know that people are thinking of me  :)

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
  • I'm so sorry for what you're going through. The wait is THE WORST. I hope the weekend flies by for you and that you can stay distracted. T&Ps to you!!
    Yaz14
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards