I just need some reassurance...please?

Re: I just need some reassurance...please?

• Ylvelill member

  March 2014

  Try to take it easy, stress isn't gonna help anything
  
  I took it one appointment, one step at a time. You will have your first u/s soon in a few weeks and then you will know for sure!
  
  3 boys with possibly 2 on the spectrum does seem like a big challenge but your husband seems to have faith in your ability to handle it.

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• DTNZ4Ever member

  March 2014

  With my 1st pregnancy I was totally a worrier. Second time around I had the mind frame if why worry about things I have no control over. If I started to worry I would think does worring make it better, will it change anything, etc. it really helped me enjoy my pregnancy so much more.

  

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• QOTR member

  March 2014

  First of all - Happy birthday & Congratulations!  
  
  It's so hard not to worry in the early stages, especially when you've suffered a loss.   But try not to worry about your age.  You're still very young compared to many of us on this board!   I think the previous advice about taking things an appointment at a time is a good approach.   I feel like I've worried away this pregnancy and I wish I could change that, but it was hard.  Just this week (@ 32 weeks), I feel like I'm letting go of the nagging fear that something is going to go wrong.  Don't wait as long as I did! 
  

  Me-41, Hubby-40.
  1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
  2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
  3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
  August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
  Dear Son born 5/28/14

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• ProcessofBecoming member

  March 2014

  OP, big hugs. I completely understand where you are coming from. I worried through my entire first pregnancy, I've worried through the first two years of my child's life with his delays, and now am worrying about this new pregnancy, whether or not I will have pre-e again, and whether this baby will have special needs and what that will mean for my family. It's a whole lot of worrying. Rationally, I know that worrying will change NOTHING about what does or doesn't happen in the future, and robs me of the joy of today. And yet, I still struggle with all of the unknowns.

  
  

  I'm trying the "give my angst to God" approach, because I really don't know what else to do at this point, and I know that this much stress is not good for my baby. I also try to think of 10 things a day that I am grateful for. It sounds silly, but it does help balance me out and pull me out of the "worry rut." At 42, I'm old enough to know that life is going to be what it is going to be and I need to roll with it, but some days "rolling with it" is harder than others.

  
  

  Right now, you have a lot on your plate, but you must be a very strong lady to mother three young boys, along with the challenges of ASD. I have a lot of respect for you, and truly believe you're going to be just fine. Congratulations on your new pregnancy! Hopefully we can both find a way to enjoy these days and expanding our families!!! 

  Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!  

  
  

  

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• 2redtulips member

  March 2014

  I am also on the Pregnant After a Loss (pgal) board, and someone over there gave me some great advice the other day. It boiled down to: Yes, there are a lot of scary/sad stories that happen to people, and it's easy to apply those stories to yourself -- but there are also a lot of GOOD stories, an you have to learn to apply those to yourself as well. 
  
  For everything that could go wrong, there are 50 things that could go right. Especially as you reach more milestones in your pregnancy, it gets a little easier to start to focus on the good news you have received to that point. 
  
  Oh, and turning 35 doesn't magically make things more high risk. The media has done an excellent job of scaring those of us in the AMA category, but when you look at the stats, the risks are still really low. 
  
  HUGS. Pgal brain can be really hard. Take it one day at a time. 

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  First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss
  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
   
  
  

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• HoneyBBurns member

  March 2014

  Thanks everyone. They considered me high risk with my youngest already. Something to do with high hormone levels and my age. Some time, very early (which turned out to be a good thing) the placenta had started to detach. I had a lot of cramping, we had to see a specialist because they thought he might have Down Syndrome (we declined the ammnio for fear of m/c), and then after he was born he was severely jaundiced and then to top it off he had to have an u/s because our pedi thought he might have spina bifida. How many near misses can one little person have? I told my husband that with all the "almosts" that maybe that was a sign. I've probably just worked myself up! Crazy how you can worry soo much about a baby you weren't even sure you wanted. And I know it shows because the nurse I talked to said I still had the "Deer caught in the headlights" look.

  

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• NunyaBennis member

  April 2014

  Deep breaths. I unfortunately can't promise you that everything will be perfectly fine but I sure hope that it is (and chances are it will be)! It is crazy how much you immediately care for & worry about someone that you've never met... And how all of that worry won't change a thing. I know it's easier said than done, but just try to relax and enjoy taking this journey day by day. I thank our growing baby every night for hanging in there with us for another day & let h/h know how much I'm looking forward to tomorrow. Keep sharing strength and hope with your family & let the worry and anxiety fall away. Hang in there mama!

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