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June 2014 Moms
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FFFC

katekat8721katekat8721 member
in June 2014 Moms
I don't know why I'm up so early, but I'll get the par-tay started!

remember it's "flame free" confessions

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Re: FFFC

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  • katekat8721katekat8721 member
    MrsBHM said:
    My husband and I are thinking of doing our will before the baby gets here. I dread the conversation bc how do you tell someone there's no way in hell I want my child to be raised by your parents lol?! I mean they did a good job with him but dang.
    My BFF who still hasn't told her parents that if something were to happen to her and hubby, that I'm taking care of her baby. Nothing is allowed to happen to her because (I love her and) I don't want to be the one to have to share the will with her mom!!

    Luckily though, both her and hubby were on the same page with it. If hubby wants HIS parents to raise them, and you don't, that's going to be a different issue :/ Do you have someone else in mind already?

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  • MrsBHMMrsBHM member
    Read247 said:

    MrsBHM said:

    My husband and I are thinking of doing our will before the baby gets here. I dread the conversation bc how do you tell someone there's no way in hell I want my child to be raised by your parents lol?! I mean they did a good job with him but dang.

    Just tell him you think they should be raised by someone "closer to our age." Then it's not because you don't like them... It's because they're getting up there age wise. ;)
    Yes that's perfect...except I wouldn't mind if my parents got him. Haha! We're going to talk to my brother & his wife, they're young and just starting their lives together but I would trust my baby to be raised by them.
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  • JujuB22JujuB22 member
    Read247 said:
    My husband and I are thinking of doing our will before the baby gets here. I dread the conversation bc how do you tell someone there's no way in hell I want my child to be raised by your parents lol?! I mean they did a good job with him but dang.
    Just tell him you think they should be raised by someone "closer to our age." Then it's not because you don't like them... It's because they're getting up there age wise. ;)
    Dreading this too. I don't know who to pick for guardianship.
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  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    Read247 said:
    My husband and I are thinking of doing our will before the baby gets here. I dread the conversation bc how do you tell someone there's no way in hell I want my child to be raised by your parents lol?! I mean they did a good job with him but dang.
    Just tell him you think they should be raised by someone "closer to our age." Then it's not because you don't like them... It's because they're getting up there age wise. ;)

    This! Our lawyer actually recommended it.
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  • chickpea912chickpea912 member
    I will preface my FFFC by saying that I truly do not want a shower (it's a sort of traditional Jewish thing NOT to have a shower or buy much before babies arrive), and I didn't have one with M.  I don't remember feeling this way last time, but I'm finding that I'm jealous of everyone as they have their showers.  It just seems like it can be such a fun way to get together with family and friends and celebrate this amazing time that is about to arrive.  I know we'll have that when we celebrate this baby's simchat bat (naming ceremony, essentially) at the end of June, but that seems sooooo far away.
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  • katekat8721katekat8721 member
    I am so done with working in the afternoon. Mornings are still fine, but after lunch I am hurting, tired, bitchy, ugh. I have a doctor's appt Monday and I'm hoping she'll put me on a reduced schedule. I've talked to my boss a little about this and am about 70% sure she'll accommodate it. But if not, I'm really not to worried.

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  • MrsBHMMrsBHM member
    jmar2011 said:

    We have no clue who to assign guardianshipaanything were to happen with us. His brother is not responsible, and my siblings are all nuts. We mayvstart looking at his cousins, but I don't know of any who's parenting styles I would completely agree with
    also my fffc- dh will be leaving for two weejs for work ajd I'm partially glad but also nervous to be by myself

    It's terrifying to try to think of what to do with this kid if we both were to die. Terrifying. I just keep telling myself to make the best decision we can & pray that it's never needed.
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  • MrsBHMMrsBHM member
    ugabamafans said:

    I never got around to finishing drafting our wills or mailing in my life insurance application because we could never agree on who would get our kids if something were to happen to both of us.  DS is 2.5 - this should have been buttoned up about 3 years ago and is so freaking irresponsible.


    I know what I'll be doing this weekend.
    Sorry for ruining your weekend ;) It's just one of those things that's been looming over my head for a while & I just keep avoiding it bc it's uncomfortable.
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  • Valie18Valie18 member
    edited March 2014
    MIL told DH last night that she's bought a crib so that she can watch LO. We're not telling her that LO isn't staying alone at her place until he is old enough to use the telephone.

    ETA: on that note it should be pretty clear that she will never get LO if something were to happen to us. LO goes to my parents until my sister is ready enough for a child. A will is still on our list of things to do :S

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  • hjl050308hjl050308 member
    I've got everyone beat probably. My oldest is 5 and we've not done wills, seriously talked about guardianship or anything. I'm scared to do it. I know we need to get around to it, it just freaks me out. I feel like a big baby even writing that.....
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  • babygabe614babygabe614 member
    @JujuB22 My DH used to do the same thing - either he'd go to the grocery store and only get "his" things, not anything we could make actual meals out of but like come home with a trunk full of beer, beef jerky, and cheese curls when there was no bread, eggs, milk, chicken, etc in the house OR he would make dinner for just himself on the rare occassions I didn't feel like cooking. I wish I could say he totally pitches in now and cooks for me some nights but I'd be lying, lol. BUT he knows better than to ever go to the store without asking me what we need first, and on the nights I need a break he's open to ordering a pizza or taking me out somewhere, which is good enough for me. I like your subtle hints - wish I had thought of that at the time... I just told mine he was being a selfish jerk. :P

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  • jshropjshrop member
    @MrsBHM‌ I had that conversation in the car with my MIL last weekend. It went something like "oh yeah, we are going to have my sister and her husband raise Charlie if anything happens to us. If they can't then it'll be (our two best friends). I just want to make sure there's no way in hell my parents get her, and it wouldn't be fair to dump a little one on you!" And she was completely agreeable to that. I think if I had framed it "well...... We really don't want you to do it" she would have been hurt. So maybe there's a way to frame it/sell it to your husband that it'd be unfair to them to start all over with little ones. On a related note, I had a cousin pass the day after her baby was born and her parents are raising her kids as their own and it is SUPER hard on them. They were about to retire, and now they have to work to take care of these kids.
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  • MztwilsonMztwilson member
    edited March 2014
    @MSUMands said:

    Totally flameable (feel free to side eye me) but I wish my DS had a slight interest in TV/movies. I wouldn't use it as a babysitter, but getting 15 minutes of quiet time during the day would be awesome. I work from home and watch him every day. I would love to be able to take a shower without him banging on the glass door or make dinner without trying to keep him from opening the oven or pulling dishes off the stovetop. He has zero interest in anything with a screen.

    First world problems, folks.

    No flaming here. My dd LOVES watching wallykazam and I love that it comes on right around lunch time. Feel free to flame me but I am able to get lunch done without distractions. As far as the other cartoons it seems like dd plays better when there's background noise. Probably because that's how her older siblings are. ;)

    Eta it doesn't have to be the tv that's on in the background. It can be music too. She loves to dance.
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  • coffee89coffee89 member
    FFFC- Whenever my MIL talks about "when baby comes to stay" I just smile and walk away. I haven't told her or DH that unsupervised visits may never happen. She already doesn't watch the other grand kids, one of which is 3 and she doesn't really care much if he's playing with things like scissors or medication bottles. Her house is cluttered horded, dirty and not very child safe IMO. Plus she is keeping a crib that is pretty old and has many recalls for falling apart, she offered it to me 3 times and I graciously turned it down for said reasons and she thinks I'll just let DS sleep in it there.


    I think DH will be on board with some of these things but I see a fight about how it's just not fair to her that my parents get to see our kid more often. I don't care, your mother has a car and could drive to see us, she just refuses to.
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  • PressLovePressLove member
    DH and I pray that nothing bad ever happens, because we have agreed to take five kids from three families if anything ever happens. Sadly, these may not be the same people we leave in our will.

    Initially, I told one of my friends no when presented with this honor. They both have siblings and I felt her mom would challenge the issue. She came back to me after a chat with both sets of grandparents. While I pray that nothing ever happens, I felt a lot better about the situation.

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  • pcourtadepcourtade member
    lyracelesti said:

    @pcourtade it's lovely! You drew that? Skillz, lady. Very nice. Are those your and your partner's names? Where do you want to get it placed?

    Thank you! It's our children's names. And I have no idea. Maybe my side? I'm having difficulty with that one lol.
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  • pcourtadepcourtade member
    And DH and I haven't created a will yet either and DS is 3. We're going to do it soon though. We haven't decided who's going to take the children yet. We can't agree. All we can agree on is that DH's parents shouldn't take them.
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  • ricecakes1216ricecakes1216 member
    MrsBHM said:
    My husband and I are thinking of doing our will before the baby gets here. I dread the conversation bc how do you tell someone there's no way in hell I want my child to be raised by your parents lol?! I mean they did a good job with him but dang.
    We are having a hard time deciding who will get our guy if anything should happen. My sister or my brother. My first thought was my sister and BIL because we are really close to them and they will probably be the closest to him. But they aren't the ideal parents. Their son is 14 and they are very much "couch parents", meaning they sit on the couch and yell at him to do things instead of getting up and talking to him. (That makes them sound horrible. They are really good people that work really hard and take fun family vacations but they just are lazy parents.) My brother is an amazing dad. He has a 2 year old and one on the way. We used to be incredibly close but we live far from each other. SIL is a bit crazy and I am not sure I'd want her to raise my kid. It's so hard.


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  • otter1103otter1103 member
    This is really cliché but when it came down to picking a guardian for my kids, I had recently seen Raising Helen with my mom and the letter at the end from the one sister explaining to the other sister why she picked the younger on to be her children's guardian really hit home. My mom is completely understanding in that she wasn't the choice because I didn't want her to take that on alone since my dad is gone. My brother doesn't have the same parental style as me and his wife (my former best friend) is super judgy over me, so not same parenting style. Like explained in the movie, I too picked someone like me to raise my kids in my absence. So while my mom or brother are what people would automatically assume, my kids would actually go to another family member who a) would be physically capable of keeping up with my kids, b) has the same parenting style/values as me, c) has a personality similar to mine, and d) won't mind my mom sharing legal custody.
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  • otter1103otter1103 member
    @pcourtade‌ - DO IT! I am totally getting a new tattoo after LO is born. I was actually going to get one the weekend after my BFP to commemorate our angel babe from last June. It will be the same design as I had planned as it is a symbol of me & H and hence LO. I'll just adding a lil something to symbolic of our loss too.
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  • MSUMandsMSUMands member
    Mztwilson said:
    Totally flameable (feel free to side eye me) but I wish my DS had a slight interest in TV/movies. I wouldn't use it as a babysitter, but getting 15 minutes of quiet time during the day would be awesome. I work from home and watch him every day. I would love to be able to take a shower without him banging on the glass door or make dinner without trying to keep him from opening the oven or pulling dishes off the stovetop. He has zero interest in anything with a screen. First world problems, folks.
    No flaming here. My dd LOVES watching wallykazam and I love that it comes on right around lunch time. Feel free to flame me but I am able to get lunch done without distractions. As far as the other cartoons it seems like dd plays better when there's background noise. Probably because that's how her older siblings are. ;) Eta it doesn't have to be the tv that's on in the background. It can be music too. She loves to dance.
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