agonizing intuition about m/c, confused?!?

Mattsprincess2 · December 2008

Hi ladies, this might be a weird post but I have to express this. I am almost 8wks and I keep telling myself I'm just a little closer to not miscarrying. I get confused because they say most miscarriages are due to chromosonal mismatch ect so how does the baby continue to develop and then still miscarry towards the end of the 1st trimester some times? I would think it would always happen very early.

At 5wks I had light brown spotting for two days, I went in and had my HCG levels checked because I was freaking. The nurse called back and said "your levels increased so we'll see you at your initial appt Jan 7th" Ididn't get a chance to ask if they doubled ect. I know I should call back for peace of mind but she was very quick and sort of rude. Since then I have continued to have the awful gas/bloated feeling, nausea, aversions to food. But then yesterday I had tiny strings of blood (thread like) when I wiped twice. They have since gone away but of course I started worrying like crazy again. I just have this constant agonizing thought that I'm gonna get an ultrasound and they're going to say I'm not measuring right. I just can not shake the feeling something is not right. This is my second pregnancy. My son is 3yrs old and my first trimester with him was a breeze...I can't let go of this obsession I'm going to miscarry. Now I will say three of my close friends all have experience a miscarriage in the last year so it's sort of in my face but I don't know how to just relax and accept my pregnancy symptoms as a good thing. I "look" for cramping and every time I go to the bathroom I inspect my toilet paper...can someone please give me ideas on how to relax? Or if you've delt with a m/c explain how I would know if I am miscarrying or not.

margeincharge2 · December 2008

Just remember that every pregnancy is different. So just because the spotting is something you didn't have with your first child, it doesn't mean there's something wrong now that you're having it with this one.

I've had brown spotting on and off for a while now and I went into the dr. this past week for an u/s. They found the baby and the heart beat. So brown spotting isn't always cause for concern.

I don't know how to tell you not to worry because I incessantly check when I wipe as well. All I can say is keep hoping for the best and try not to worry. Brown spotting is the best spotting you can have. And if it's not followed by cramping or a lot of discharge, it's most likely just old blood. I hope everything turns out ok for you.

TheFannins729 · December 2008

breathe. your stressing is doing more harm than good.

amyfelice · December 2008

I'm spotting too, just a little they say is normal. I think almost half of women have spotting in the first trimester, as long as it is not excessive, clots, or accompanied by cramping. I also think that if there is a miscarriage it can mean something was wrong with the baby at any point in the first trimester. I am nervous too, of course ! Don't get me wrong, but I am tryiing to stay calm, because I don't want to make it worse. I think the anxiety can't be good for anyone.

Anyway, I have talked to a lot of women that have had the dreaded m/c., it does seem like a common problem. I think it's that we just know so much earlier now. I guess what I am saying is that you need to calm down and if it gets worse, just call your doctor. The stress is not going to make it any better.

jeffrae · December 2008

The stress of going through a m/c is horrible. I had intuition with my previous pg that something wasn't right. I had been brown spotting off and on for a couple of weeks without any cramping. My baby showed growth over a few weeks worth of u/s but no heartbeat. A bad sign for me was when my mucus plug broke (if that is the right term) -- I had that happen, then was confirmed with a m/c even though the baby had grown -- everything else was starting to break down. I also had started to have cramps. The first thing I did pass was long strip like dark pieces of blood. If you are passing anything like that -- call your OB right away. Unfortunatly if you are m/c-ing there is nothing you can do except manage it (natural, induced, D&C/E). I tried to relax last time too -- but sometimes I really believe you just know. Good luck to you.

annibes · December 2008

Here's how I gave myself peace: we are human beings- and living things. We are meant to reproduce, and our bodies are primed to do so. Yes, sometimes you get a chromosomal mismatch that is not compatible with life, but more often than not, the cells, DNA, bodies, etc know what they have to do to to survive, and they do it.

Also, if something were to happen, would you really want to remember this whole pregnancy as one long worry-fest? That's the other thing that made me ease up. I want to enjoy every minute of this- it's a great feeling to know that chances are excellent that I'll be having a baby in the end of July- I don't want to wreck that feeling with "what if's," you know?

I mean, anything could happen. Stuff that's not even baby related. But that's not stuff we worry about day in and day out, right?

Try to relax a little- I know it is hard. But once you find that happy medium between freak-out and blissful ignorance, it should be smooth sailing for awhile.

Temp534591562502098 · December 2008

I honestly think that my nervousness and worrying have increased with being pg - even if its not pg-related. Maybe its a hormone thing???

I think what broke me the best of my obsessing about m/c is kind of what the pp said. Your body is supposed to work normally, the baby is supposed to grow normally, and m/c are not nearly as common as normal pgs. Staistics are on your side, as well as biology. M/C are the exception to the rule. Trust in your body, and the baby's. Trust that it will be ok.

I think it can be good to be a bit "what will be will be" about it too. You can't usually do anything about a m/c, and they typically happen because further growth would be impossible anyways.

You have just about 1 week left! I was a nervous wreck for my u/s too. Try to imagine your relief when you see your bean with its beating heart and try to fill yourself with that same relief now.

Also, try to really pre-occupy your mind with non-pg stuff. Watch movies, stay busy - even stay AWAY from these boards if you have to. Sometimes I feel like no one in their first tri should get on this board until after their first u/s - since so many of us freak out about it beforehand!

runnergirl2008 · December 2008

I had a great deal of bright red blood at 5.5 weeks, 7 weeks, and again at 10 weeks. I, of course, freaked all three times, but obviously everything has worked out so far. I think it's totally normal to feel how you do, but keep in mind that worrying won't help anything. I know that waiting sucks big time, but that's all you can do. Drink your water, rest as much as possible, and try to be positive. I know it's easier said than done, ?but try.?

Good luck. ?

monica92603 · December 2008

everybody is different. I know that probably drives you crazy that everyone says that but it's true.

a lot of people have spotting and it is completely fine. no issues whatsoever, whether it's at 4 weeks or 12 weeks. I on the other hand had one instance of light pink spotting at 11w 3d and it turned out I'd had a missed m/c. when i came in, my dr was even convinced it was going to turn out to be nothing b/c most times, it is nothing.

try to relax (another of my favorites). truth be told, whatever happens at this point is going to happen. I have the worst anxiety about my pregnancy now and it comes down to the fact that it is b/c I have zero control. it sucks but I just hope for the best at each appointment. that's all I/we can do.

best of luck to you.

EAN · December 2008

I think that your concerns are legitimate. I am surprised that the nurse blew things off so fast. If it was me (and I have had a m/c as well as had spotting with my DD), I would call your doctor and demand to be seen.

The spotting coupled with the string like blood-discharge is enough to make me concerned as well. At a minimum I would demand to speak with the doctor directly.

Please keep us up to date!

LoveEeyore · December 2008

I hope the for the best outcome for you. With my 1st pregnancy with DD I barely had a symptom until 3rd trimester when the weight and aches came. I was sure every day my baby was dead. I obsessed. With my second pregnancy I was confident all was fine but miscarried at 6 weeks in early October. This pregnancy I resolved to let go and enjoy even though I thought I intuited a bad outcome and expected to lose the baby early. I went for an u/s (due to cramping) at 8 weeks fully prepared to hear the heart had stopped and instead was told there were 2 hearts going strong. Even if you are generally a very intuitive person, maybe your fear is so great that it seems like a sense, not just an emotion (if that makes sense). Good luck and remember that you are pregnant until someone tells you that you're not and I hope you can embrace at least that much.

scullyhoyy · December 2008

I think there are a lot of us who are just as nervous etc...

Also remember your healthcare provider works for you, call them as much as you want. & don't let them brush you off. I really don't know how to relax either, I am trying to just embrace this pregnancy. I started a diary about being pregnant etc... Your definetly not alone.

jnealet · December 2008

The first tri is tough. I had to give up and realize that there was no clontroling what was happening, I am just along for the ride.

As for spotting - with my first pregnancy, I didn't spot at all and I had a missed m/c. With this pregnancy, I had spotting around the end of my 1st tri and everything is going well so far.

Good luck, odds are everything will be fine.

Mattsprincess2 · December 2008

thank you to everyone who so quickly responded. I think I am going to go try and read a book not pregnancy related and call the dr. tomorrow. I do agree with everyone who says what will be will be and I have to have faith and try to enjoy this relaxing that I am very much so doing (mostly due to nausea) I will update once I see the dr. I was just wondering if I was obsessivly making it worse. its just this nagging feeling I keep getting and didn't know if that was a feeling many women did indeed have when they m/c. thanks a bunch ladies.

chrissyt27 · December 2008

You can never know. I was 10 weeks and never spotted once. I felt great. I did have ms, but it wasnt bad. I never had werid cramps or spotting. You just can't worry, there isn't anything you can due. We saw the baby and heartbeat at 8 weeks, but at 10 weeks with no indication our baby had died. The RE is doing testing, but I wont know what went wrong for 6 weeks.

Good Luck. I am sure you will be fine.

kimmie321 · December 2008

With my first pregnancy I worried the entire time. I would work myself up into a tissy and obsess over m/c signs etc. I counted every week and was so thankful when I reached 11 wks because I was in the home stretch and was almost out of m/c risk. I had ms, everything I was a walking pregnancy symptom. I ended up m/c at 11wks 2d. If there is anything that I learned from my 1st pregnancy, it was to speak up and say to the dr. when you feel like something is wrong. I felt like that for weeks and unfortunantly I was right. But, I could have moved on a lot sooner than I did if I would have spoken up to the dr. and had them check me more. With this pregnancy I am taking comfort in the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do but take care of myself and pray. If I do go through a m/c again I will survive, I will be crushed, but I will go on and one day have baby. Please enjoy your pregnancy and do not feel like a worrier when you make the dr. listen.

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