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February 2013 Moms
tamarar5
member
When to let a friendship die?
tamarar5
member
I really have almost no friends IRL so I struggle with knowing if our when I should end a friendship. "Jane" and I met in college 13 years ago. We were super close in college, and after. I went to her wedding, but wasn't asked to stand up.
Fast forward a few years, we were still close but didn't talk as frequently, probably still about once a week or so. She mentioned that she and her H had been trying to get pregnant but she was having problems getting her cycle regulated after stopping BC. At the same time, I got pregnant by accident. I told her right away so she wouldn't hear from anyone we else, but intentionally didn't talk about babies or pregnancy or anything. When I was seven months (7 MONTHS!!!!!) she finally told me she was pregnant. I was so excited and happy. Then I found out she was only 4 weeks behind me. She had known for 6 months and never once said anything. She was invited to my baby shower but didn't come. I wasn't invited to hers.
I found out from a birth announcement in the mail that she has baby #2 three years later. I didn't even know she was pregnant.
When DH and I got engaged, we wanted to essentially elope with only or immediate families here. I told her that we were eloping and she made a huge thing about us being friends for so long that she was family and should be invited. So I did. She didn't come. OK, it's 500 miles, I get that it would be hard.
So the reception is coming up. It's being held am hour away from where she lives. She isn't coming. Her daughter's birthday is the day after, and she planned the party for the same day.
My reception was planned first.
I'm just frustrated. She has told me numerous times she was coming to Michigan for one reason or another but has never made any effort to stop and visit. I feel like our friendship is completely one sided now. In 13 years, she has never once come to visit me. It's always been me going there. She blew off my wedding, she's blowing off my reception. She didn't come to my baby shower or either of my kids' baptisms. I haven't been invited to any of her events since her wedding 10 years ago.
I am pissed and I feel like this reception is the last straw. Is it time to just let this fade? Do I respond to her infrequent texts? What would you do? I ask because suddenly she is texting me like five times a day for the last several days and I'm both happy that suddenly I matter, and even more pissed off because when I need to talk she's MIA.
Fast forward a few years, we were still close but didn't talk as frequently, probably still about once a week or so. She mentioned that she and her H had been trying to get pregnant but she was having problems getting her cycle regulated after stopping BC. At the same time, I got pregnant by accident. I told her right away so she wouldn't hear from anyone we else, but intentionally didn't talk about babies or pregnancy or anything. When I was seven months (7 MONTHS!!!!!) she finally told me she was pregnant. I was so excited and happy. Then I found out she was only 4 weeks behind me. She had known for 6 months and never once said anything. She was invited to my baby shower but didn't come. I wasn't invited to hers.
I found out from a birth announcement in the mail that she has baby #2 three years later. I didn't even know she was pregnant.
When DH and I got engaged, we wanted to essentially elope with only or immediate families here. I told her that we were eloping and she made a huge thing about us being friends for so long that she was family and should be invited. So I did. She didn't come. OK, it's 500 miles, I get that it would be hard.
So the reception is coming up. It's being held am hour away from where she lives. She isn't coming. Her daughter's birthday is the day after, and she planned the party for the same day.
My reception was planned first.
I'm just frustrated. She has told me numerous times she was coming to Michigan for one reason or another but has never made any effort to stop and visit. I feel like our friendship is completely one sided now. In 13 years, she has never once come to visit me. It's always been me going there. She blew off my wedding, she's blowing off my reception. She didn't come to my baby shower or either of my kids' baptisms. I haven't been invited to any of her events since her wedding 10 years ago.
I am pissed and I feel like this reception is the last straw. Is it time to just let this fade? Do I respond to her infrequent texts? What would you do? I ask because suddenly she is texting me like five times a day for the last several days and I'm both happy that suddenly I matter, and even more pissed off because when I need to talk she's MIA.
We're Going to be a Family of 5!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: When to let a friendship die?
If you feel like giving her one (or ten) more chances, that's cool. If you've had enough, that's cool too. It just sounds like she's not being a very good friend to you and that's not fair.