Why women shouldn't fear home birth

Emerald27 · March 2014

Saw this posted on FB this morning and I really loved it; wanted to share. Thought it might be fun to discuss:

https://m.today.com/moms/mayim-bialik-why-women-shouldnt-fear-home-birth-1C7398354

Mayim Bialik, who you may know as Amy from The Big Bang Theory, is a very cool lady. She's a brilliant scientist IRL, and an advocate of attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding, and natural birth. I loved her book, Beyond the Sling.

I can't have a home birth because I'm high risk, and have to work with an OB, but if I had my way, I would labor and birth in the comfort of my home with my family.

What are your feelings about home birth, whether or not YOU would have one and what you think of others having them?

MrMrsandBaby · March 2014

Meh...not for me. I never even considered it as an option. I like drugs...Also, I am not the kind of person who would have a warm fuzzy feeling looking at my bed thinking, "this is where I gave birth!" I would look at it and wonder if we could afford a new bed. It just isn't for me.

But I can (sort of) understand why someone would do a home birth. I think if that is something you will treasure the experience of and are super comfortable with labor (or the idea of it) then God bless you. I also think that if you do a home birth and aren't within a reasonable drive (15-20 minutes) of a hospital it is just risky and a little foolish.

ETA: I should have said, I do like the article though. Well written and makes great points without getting too preachy. I like that she didn't try to tell me that I'm wrong to want a hospital birth. It is nice to see home birth presented as why it is a good thing as opposed to why a hospital birth is a bad thing.

MrsRoy07 · March 2014

I have a few friends who've done home births, and a couple more who are having their first home births this summer, it's become a bit of a trend with my more crunchy friends. I don't judge, if they're low risk and well-informed it's fine with me if that's what they want. I support them in their decision. It's not for me though, I'm far too anxious.

meggiev123 · March 2014

I had a drug free birth in a hospital performed by a midwife and supervised by an OB (this is standard practice in Ukraine) and will do this again. I have a lot of respect for women who homebirth, but for me, I feel more comfortable in a hospital just in case of an emergency. That said, DD was born 4 hours after my first contraction, so I'm afraid of having a taxi cab birth this time around!

megsandjohn · March 2014

Great article. Thanks for sharing!

I would consider a home birth if I didn't have my mother and brother in law living in the basement. I couldn't really ask them to leave their home for however long it took and wouldn't want them hearing me labour. I like privacy and don't mind a hospital setting with DH, my mom and my midwives.

Also I'm going for VBAC #2. Last time a home birth was definitely not an option as I was high risk and really had to advocate to even attempt a VBAC. I do have a midwife though. The same one who helped me have a successful VBAC, who I am very confident in.

I had to meet with an OB last week regarding my clotting disorder and she was so anti-midwife, saying she can't believe I had a VBAC without a doctor in the room. Well I did. (you should have seen her face!) She said she doesn't recommend me having another VBAC with a midwife. Ha. That's a little too bad. She was saying how my incision could still rupture. I reminded her it's less than a 2% chance (and I wonder if it's even less considering I already had a successful VBAC and my incision will be 6 years old). Anyways she said I was right and had done my research. Yes, because if I don't know my shit, people like her would scare me into having a repeat c-section UNNECESSARILY.

With my first birth I had an OB and it was the exact thing this article talks about. Pitocin causing baby's heart rate to drop, leading to more and more interventions, leading to a c-section. It angers me but I have healed emotionally and empowered myself and I know how to advocate for myself now.

Sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent there but really needed to vent about that.

MrsL2B · March 2014

Mayim Bialik will always be Blossom to me.

I'm high risk, so this option is out for me anyway, but I don't really cherish most of our human/animal functions. I'd rather take as much of that as possible to the hospital and leave it there.

SusieBW · March 2014

Emerald27 said:

Saw this posted on FB this morning and I really loved it; wanted to share. Thought it might be fun to discuss: https://m.today.com/moms/mayim-bialik-why-women-shouldnt-fear-home-birth-1C7398354 Mayim Bialik, who you may know as Amy from The Big Bang Theory, is a very cool lady. She's a brilliant scientist IRL, and an advocate of attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding, and natural birth. I loved her book, Beyond the Sling. I can't have a home birth because I'm high risk, and have to work with an OB, but if I had my way, I would labor and birth in the comfort of my home with my family. What are your feelings about home birth, whether or not YOU would have one and what you think of others having them?

Am I showing my age because in my head I corrected this to read "Mayim Bialik, who you know as BLOSSOM . . ."?

Also, I didn't read the article, but imma weigh in anyway.

Home birth is not for me. I'm pretty sure I couldn't this time anyway, because I have a prior c/s, but even with DD, I was hoping to have an unmedicated, natural birth, but I still wouldn't have considered home birth. It all feels too messy to have going on in my house. But that's very much my own personal opinion. I think that for people who are into it, more power to you. For the vast majority of pregnancies, there is no reason why you shouldn't labor and deliver at home if you want to - women have been doing it for hundreds of years. In many, many parts of the world it remains the norm, and plenty of women in the US still do it all the time.

I think that families who choose home birth tend to be really well-informed about the choice they're making, and probably understand childbirth better than most families who just blindly go to the hospital because that's "what you're supposed to do." (I don't mean anyone here, I'm making broad over-generalizations) What I'm saying is that home birth is not a choice that any one makes lightly, whereas choosing to have an epidural or medicated birth at a hospital is the standard in the US, and what most women simply expect, generally without researching or really even considering any other possibilities.

squeenut · March 2014

I am planning a home birth, and I have a lady crush on Mayim Bialik. Now all I need is a midwife who I like enough. We'll see. Maybe I'll just have baby unassisted. I cant stand people watching me. Makes me feel so uncomfortable.

Kendrav4 · March 2014

Def not for me but I think its cool for people who choose to do it. I enjoy having access to medication and the extra support you receive in the hospital after the baby is born. I also don't feel like it would be very sentimental for me, I would see it as a huge mess needing to be cleaned up ASAP . I have extremely easy births (3 vaginal deliveries and I've never even so much as torn) but I like knowing there are doctors available just in case something goes wrong

jesslinnn · March 2014

I've given birth twice in the hospital and I'm just more comfortable with that. IF something went wrong I like knowing I'm already there. Even after having a super "easy" (easy as in simple, quick, minimal vag damage, healthy baby), med free birth I wouldn't want a home birth. Even without the fear of something going wrong, the idea of giving birth at home doesn't appeal to me.

Liss1481 · March 2014

Good article, thanks for sharing.

I understand why some people opt for home births, but it's just not for me. Last time I had an unmedicated hospital birth with an OB and I was allowed to walk around, use the yoga ball, etc - pretty much whatever I wanted. I'd like to do that again. I would just be too anxious that there would be an emergency if I had a home birth. At least the doctors/nurses are there to intervene ASAP if something goes wrong

angeltennis3 · March 2014

I don't feel comfortable with the thought of a home birth. For one, I don't particularly want the inevitable mess that comes along with labor to be in my house. Also, I find comfort in being at a hospital where, as others have said, if something were to go wrong, I am already there.

For those that choose to do home births, I think the most important things are to 1) be well educated and have the support team and 2) have a contingency plan in case something does go wrong. I think sometimes, when so much effort is put into a birth plan as there usually is with a home birth, that any deviations from the plan can cause a lot of stress.

fireflyrebirth · March 2014

Yay Amy!

Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading it, and even though I am not tempted to go for a home birth, I think she made a lot of good points that apply to those of us planning on going to the hospital too.

I am seeing a CNM at a major hospital now and plan to find a similar set up for after our move in August. I feel like this gives you the best of both worlds--a skilled, empathetic medical professional who views pregnancy and childbirth as natural processes, what your body was designed to do--and all the resources of a major hospital, NICU, etc., in case of emergency.

I need to do a lot of research yet and I'm not sure if I'll plan to go completely med-free. But from what I've been reading I feel like I want to avoid interventions if possible because it seems that can lead down a slippery slope...all the way to emergency c-section...and emergency c-section is a huge childbirth fear after hearing my mother's story of my sister's birth over and over growing up (thanks, Mom!)

4legsRbest · March 2014

Not for me, at all, but to each their own. I think that those who want home births should be able to make that choice and be able to have medical professionals attend the birth (some states restrict this for MWs and Dr.s)

Emerald27 · March 2014

I need to look up this "Blossom"...I feel so out of the loop! Mayim is just Amy to me!

AppleGrapeMSTK · March 2014

I don't know if I would do a home birth. It's messy, and I would rather recover than worry about cleaning everything up before it stains. I do, however, like the mentality and empowerment that comes from embracing a home birth. With DS, I had pregnancy induced hypertension and was induced. My OB made everything seem like an emergency, and I spent most of my hospital stay in a state of panic.

I would so much prefer to embrace what my body's doing instead of stressing about it.

DaniW1984 · March 2014

We have a midwife and may do a home birth; to be determined knowing the pregnancy better (it's my first). We are certainly doing our research so thank you for sharing the article!

meggiev123 · March 2014

dorothyzbornak97 said:

Home birth is definitely not for me, but I am all for people doing it if they're comfortable and well-informed. Like @SusieBW said, women have been giving birth at home for centuries, and I think it's totally fine to do it now as long as you're not high risk.

Also, haha, count me among the group who knows Mayim as Blossom! Blossom 4 lyfe!

She's definitely Blossom for me too. I wonder what the cut off age is? 30?

caranichole · March 2014

I don't get out much so being in the hospital for that 2-3 days is like a vacation to me. lol

I will have a drug-free vaginal birth, if all goes as planned but doing so in my home won't make me feel any bit more comfortable or special probably because we move a lot and the physical home never really feels like "home."

lrobi13 · March 2014

I am very lucky and have a ob who is very forward thinking in terms of giving birth. Below is a quote from her regarding a recent article that she was mentioned in. This article came out before my husband knew that she was my doctor and he was happy that she was going to be involved in this pregnancy.

"Thanks to 225 for giving space to an issue that is important for all of us! I would like to clarify a few things in my own words: Sometimes, timely cesareans can prevent worse complications when they are truly necessary. Avoiding a C-section obviously isn't the ultimate focus of giving birth. However, most of us don't want a cesarean that isn't truly necessary, so not overusing them or doing other interventions that can increase the risk IS important. Also, sometimes an elective induction can be the decision a mom makes, which is understandable when she is truly informed. The risk is highest for first time moms whose cervix is not favorable, and this is the trap that many women fall into because they are nervous about having their first baby and think (or are told) its better to schedule it. They are also often told and believe that (1) you shouldn't go past your due date (when it's normal to go to 41 weeks, and sometimes 42 weeks), and (2) that you should have an induction if "your baby is getting big" (induction in this circumstance increases rather than decreases your risks). Sometimes women have truly extenuating personal circumstances that necessitate trying to the schedule birth of a child, and I take that seriously as well. For myself, I had an induction with my second child due to a very extreme personal circumstance, which I would offer to and discuss with any of my patients. For women with a critically ill family member or a spouse leaving the country, an induction may obviously be the best decision. NONE OF THIS IS BLACK AND WHITE!! I did, however, forgo an elective induction with my first child, which I was offered starting at 39weeks, as well as the elective primary cesarean I was offered because he was big, because I knew better. What I hope for each woman is that she make an informed decision based on what is truly best for her and her child, and not blindly believe that what she is offered by her provider to be the "best" thing in all circumstances. We all get busy and have external pressures to try to fit deliveries into the weekday. I hear OBs say, referring to inductions of labor, "I'm really busy, but at least I got a few done on the same day" and things of that nature. I also know that doctors who only get paid when they are present have a strong financial incentive to schedule and induce. That is the trap that I don't want women to unknowingly fall into. Sincerely, Dr. Buchert"

This make me feel more comfortable being in a hospital and knowing that they don't force things on you that are not medically necessary. I ,myself, have never considered giving birth anywhere other than a hospital but know that I have been provided with more information I am happy that my ob is more crunchy than some others out there.

I am happy that we do have so many choices and that each woman can pick the path that she thinks is best for her.

12bailey18 · March 2014

I don't FEAR home birth. I would just rather be at a hospital surrounded by professional medical care and a nursing staff. I found my hospital births very relaxing (especially with the epi) and quite enjoyed being waited on hand and foot.

Staciefacie · March 2014

I would love to do a home birth. Unfortunately I can't afford the care of a midwife. So I opted to do a natural hospital birth. I already told my ob I want all natural. I plan to talk to him more about it but I fear even with my birth plan in place they're gonna try to convince me to do otherwise. I've been reading some books written by Ina May Gaskin. I also plan to labor at home for as long as possible. I have about a 45 minute drive to the hospital. Hopefully I don't give birth on the car lol!

kindacrunchy · March 2014

I would love a homebirth! Our set up isn't right for it though, we are 20 minutes from the hospital and my youngest had sticky shoulders, complete with the nurse having to push on my stomach to get baby out. So I'm not a good candidate.

I've had two med free births, the first in a hospital and the second in a birth center inside a hospital. The second was a perfect setting in my opinion. However we have moved since then and are not fully decided where to deliver this time. I am considering flying across the country to deliver where I delivered last time but with an October birth date that might not be logistically possible with DD#1 school. If this was a summer baby there would be no question I would go back. The hospitals here are severely lacking in support for med free births though they are very slowly moving in the right direction. One thing I like about my midwife here (she delivers in hospital) is that I met her at the Improving Birth rally and our views really line up, but she is really my only option here for having a birth even close to what I want.

kindacrunchy · March 2014

Grace0609 said:
https://m.livescience.com/43050-home-births-newborn-death.html

This latest study makes me fear home birth. Definitely not for me.

This article is fear mongering at its best. When they say "home birth" they are including any and all births that took place outside of a hospital. This includes unassisted births, births where the mother didn't make it to the hospital in time, etc. Not just home births attended by trained midwives. It also doesn't look at the cause of death. This article is ridiculous.

toomanycats1 · March 2014

If I had had my DS at home he wouldn't be here. My labour was progressing normally, and then the monitor showed that DS's heartrate was in distress. He was born "blue" and had to be resuscitated.

I like Mayim, but a lot of us won't know we are a complication risk until things start. For me, as much as I'd rather be home, a natural birth in hospital just seems safer.

I don't judge those that choose to birth at home, but I do think they need to be prepared to have flexibility with their birth plan...just in case.

Staciefacie · March 2014

@Nicb13‌ I definitely plan to hold out. I understand if there really is an medical emergency I'd do as the ob says but until then I'm going to advocate for myself and my needs. Also follow my intuition. Ina May's books have taught me a lot that I wish I knew with my first.

RachelLily · March 2014

No home births for me. Forget about the fact that I had a c-section last time and will be having a repeat; I actually really enjoyed the hospital experience. I just feel more comfortable there and appreciate the help. Nothing against home births, just not my cup of tea.

slsl509 · March 2014

Nope. No way no how. While I certainly think birth is over-medicalized, home birth is not medicalized enough. I work in the medical field it's just too risky in my experience. I will give you a pat on the back for having a baby. That pat is not bigger because it was done at home or without an epidural or because you doused yourself in essential oils.

I believe in a happy medium such as birth centers and med-free hospital births. I also believe, nay know, that nature and babies DGAF about your birth plans.

kindacrunchy · March 2014

Grace0609 said:

https://m.livescience.com/43050-home-births-newborn-death.html This latest study makes me fear home birth. Definitely not for me.
This article is fear mongering at its best. When they say "home birth" they are including any and all births that took place outside of a hospital. This includes unassisted births, births where the mother didn't make it to the hospital in time, etc. Not just home births attended by trained midwives. It also doesn't look at the cause of death. This article is ridiculous.
This is the part I am looking at: Among deliveries by midwives in hospitals, 3.1 babies died for every 10,000 births, compared with 13.2 deaths for every 10,000 births among the babies that midwives delivered at home. For first time mothers, midwife-attended home births had even worse outcomes: 21.9 babies died for every 10,000 births. Risks also increased for older women, and women who were at 41 weeks of pregnancy, meaning they were more than a week past their due-date, Grunebaum said.

This article sums up my opinion pretty well.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/02/07/the-home-birth-rebellion.html

flyinmommy · March 2014

No thanks, not for me. I had my first three in a hospital with an epidural and had lovely, pleasant births. This time I'm AMA so it will for sure be another hospital birth.

SaphireShimmer · March 2014

I wanted one the first time around as water births aren't an option at hospitals here. But I ended up needing to be induced and needing a CS. This time, its not an option as I would be doing either a VBAC or a repeat CS.
If you feel it is safe for you and you have someone on hand who knows what to do in an emergency and are close enough to the hospital if something happens, I say go for it. My sister had her VBAC at home without her doctor because it progressed too fast to get to the hospital. Then had the next one at home cause she liked it. Both went well.
Its not for everyone but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look into it if you are interested

raynes · March 2014

My H's main argument against a home birth is that he didn't want water damage on his nice hardwood floor....

In all seriousness though, home birth just isn't for us. In my ideal world I'd probably give birth in a birth centre that was attached to a hospital, but we just don't have that here.

kindacrunchy · March 2014

Nicb13 said:

slsl509 said:

Nope. No way no how. While I certainly think birth is over-medicalized, home birth is not medicalized enough. I work in the medical field it's just too risky in my experience. I will give you a pat on the back for having a baby. That pat is not bigger because it was done at home or without an epidural or because you doused yourself in essential oils.
I believe in a happy medium such as birth centers and med-free hospital births. I also believe, nay know, that nature and babies DGAF about your birth plans.

This post is worded so well and I love the bolded part.

I really don't think that HOW or WHERE the baby is born matters, just that the baby came out, is fine and good to go. I mean besides being able to brag and say "I went all natural and med free!", it doesn't really make a lick of a difference. I say "brag" because that's what I would do if I could make it through labor without drugs!

I actually find that incredibly insulting. People don't choose homebirth, or med free, because they want a pat on the back, or to brag. It's so insulting that people think that!

Dubsgirlie · March 2014

Hell no. I thought about it for a fleeting second with DS, but I am so glad the thought never amounted to more than that. I ended up have a VERY fast and dramatic birth. I ended up having a placental abruption that could have killed us both without medical intervention. Assuming I get there in time this time, my butt will be in the hospital for birth!

mamamurphy · March 2014

I would still fear a home birth. Delivering a baby is a BIG DEAL and things can quickly go wrong. I would much rather be in a safe controlled environment.

Greenmood · March 2014

Nah. I'm gonna hang out at home until I really believe the birth is imminent, then go to the hospital. I'll already have a birth plan with my midwife, so that's reassuring.

I would probably be willing to home birth in the right circumstances but my poor husband might have a stroke.

WonkersMagoo · March 2014

I love Jim Gaffigan's take on home birth.

https://www.kindredcommunity.com/2012/10/jim-gaffigan-mr-universe-on-homebirth-and-four-kids/

Arries1134 · March 2014

I'd love to be able to do a home birth, but I have heart issues, that require me being monitored during labor. DS was a breeze to deliver, but I'd be concerned if I wasn't hooked up to an EKG while delivering....

mghnmouse · March 2014

Emerald27 said:

Mayim Bialik, who you may know as Amy from The Big Bang Theory, is a very cool lady. She's a brilliant scientist IRL, and an advocate of attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding, and natural birth. I loved her book, Beyond the Sling.

...

What are your feelings about home birth, whether or not YOU would have one and what you think of others having them?

First, LOVE her and have a copy of her book that I got signed at a birth conference in Atlanta, along with Ina May :x

Home birth? OMG I have to say that it is amazing! I have had 2 (one water birth) and am planning a third. I am a huge advocate for it locally also, so safe to say I could talk about all day long!

c8lin2may · March 2014

I think it's dumb that some moms who choose to give birth at a hospital feel like moms who give birth naturally at home look down on them. When a mom says "we are proud to say we gave birth all natural at home" she is not saying "we did it right and others did it wrong". Every woman should be proud of their birth experience. People should let them be proud of what they did and not take it so personally.

I'm choosing to birth at a birthing center that is right across the street from an amazing hospital that the birthing center has connections with. I see the hospital as a place to go when I'm sick or something is wrong, not for something that my body is made to do. If other woman want to be in that setting that is their choice. I would be more stressed out in that environment though.

slsl509 · March 2014

kindacrunchy said:

slsl509 said:

Nope. No way no how. While I certainly think birth is over-medicalized, home birth is not medicalized enough. I work in the medical field it's just too risky in my experience. I will give you a pat on the back for having a baby. That pat is not bigger because it was done at home or without an epidural or because you doused yourself in essential oils.
I believe in a happy medium such as birth centers and med-free hospital births. I also believe, nay know, that nature and babies DGAF about your birth plans.

This post is worded so well and I love the bolded part.
I really don't think that HOW or WHERE the baby is born matters, just that the baby came out, is fine and good to go. I mean besides being able to brag and say "I went all natural and med free!", it doesn't really make a lick of a difference. I say "brag" because that's what I would do if I could make it through labor without drugs!
I actually find that incredibly insulting. People don't choose homebirth, or med free, because they want a pat on the back, or to brag. It's so insulting that people think that!

I'm sorry you felt insulted by my post. I should probably just avoid these sorts of discussions because I feel insulted when I read about natural birth (which I did want for my birth with DD but see my post above about nature not GAF about that) where people act like a c-section is a failure of the mother (never said, probably not even implied, just how I feel when I read), the doctor, the "system". At the risk of sounding like one who doth protest too much, I truly have no regrets about my birth experience and I felt utterly bonded with my daughter in spite of having a c-section. I don't believe those two things are mutually exclusive but that is the feeling I get when I read those home-birth articles. I don't think there is magical window of opportunity for bonding that is missed in your typical c-section as I literally(!) cannot imagine being more bonded to or loving my child more than I do. There is definitely an attitude among some people in the home-birth/natural-birth camp that I do not see in the c-section/epidural camp. Siggies and blinkies and all that noise which I don't really see much of now that I'm not involved in message boards besides this one.

We are both taking impersonal things personally because it's hard not to, I know. Becoming a mother is embarking on the biggest guilt voyage of our lives and I hate that it begins when we are still pregnant and I do not want to contribute to that. Which is why I say, I give you a pat on the back because you had are a mom and hey, that's awesome. You rock. But I really don't care about how it happened, so let's not let that get in the way.

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