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May 2014 Moms
jjtyler
member
Bonehead Hubby Moment...
jjtyler
member
Because the other day that husband slacker post went over so well, I thought I'd share this ;-)
And let me preface this with the fact that my husband is pretty amazing. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry (of which I am absolutely not allowed to ever touch his), and he is a 50/50 parent when it comes to our daughter (I work a demanding job in NYC, so homework and after school playdates are often his domain).
Now that he has his halo in place, let's talk about how he can be a total BONEHEAD.
Last night we finally sat down to pick the baseball games in the 10 pack I purchased for him for our anniversary. I figured that he could take our daughter to a couple and then he has some guaranteed boys night outs over the summer. I should have KNOWN better than to attempt to be the awesome wife.
Opening Day is next week and a no brainer. DONE.
Then we had to pass on the Mets vs Yankees rivalry because the game was ON my scheduled C-section of May 15th. TOTALLY FINE, HE REALLY CAN'T SAY A THING.
THIS IS WHERE HE LOSES ME.
Him: "May 23rd at 4 pm?"
Me: "Um, No." (I thought he was kidding!)
Him: "He'll definitely be here by then, why not?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be about a week post C-section with a newborn and our daughter?"
HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th? I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE. "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him: Truly puzzled and annoyed. "Why?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"
HE STOPS SCROLLING, DOES NOT LOOK UP FROM LAPTOP AND SAYS:
"What's the point when there is going to be so many rules?"
Now mind you. He has his pick of games through the END OF SEPTEMBER. And there are 78 to choose from. The first 4-5 that he mentions are either days before I am set to deliver, days I am ACTUALLY delivering, and then days that seem like a HOT SECOND after they stitch me up. I am TRYING to be that cool wife that encourages him to spend a day with his buddies boozing it up. I know how much he does for us....Plus those tickets ARE NOT CHEAP.
I calmly get up and tell him good night and to pick whatever effing games he wants. I also tell him "F@CK yeah there are rules to being a grown-up" and head to bed. I think he must have either realized he poked the bear or went deaf and mute at that point, because he said nothing and I went to bed to non-sleep.
But seriously, what was he thinking??
And let me preface this with the fact that my husband is pretty amazing. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry (of which I am absolutely not allowed to ever touch his), and he is a 50/50 parent when it comes to our daughter (I work a demanding job in NYC, so homework and after school playdates are often his domain).
Now that he has his halo in place, let's talk about how he can be a total BONEHEAD.
Last night we finally sat down to pick the baseball games in the 10 pack I purchased for him for our anniversary. I figured that he could take our daughter to a couple and then he has some guaranteed boys night outs over the summer. I should have KNOWN better than to attempt to be the awesome wife.
Opening Day is next week and a no brainer. DONE.
Then we had to pass on the Mets vs Yankees rivalry because the game was ON my scheduled C-section of May 15th. TOTALLY FINE, HE REALLY CAN'T SAY A THING.
THIS IS WHERE HE LOSES ME.
Him: "May 23rd at 4 pm?"
Me: "Um, No." (I thought he was kidding!)
Him: "He'll definitely be here by then, why not?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be about a week post C-section with a newborn and our daughter?"
HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th? I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE. "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him: Truly puzzled and annoyed. "Why?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"
HE STOPS SCROLLING, DOES NOT LOOK UP FROM LAPTOP AND SAYS:
"What's the point when there is going to be so many rules?"
Now mind you. He has his pick of games through the END OF SEPTEMBER. And there are 78 to choose from. The first 4-5 that he mentions are either days before I am set to deliver, days I am ACTUALLY delivering, and then days that seem like a HOT SECOND after they stitch me up. I am TRYING to be that cool wife that encourages him to spend a day with his buddies boozing it up. I know how much he does for us....Plus those tickets ARE NOT CHEAP.
I calmly get up and tell him good night and to pick whatever effing games he wants. I also tell him "F@CK yeah there are rules to being a grown-up" and head to bed. I think he must have either realized he poked the bear or went deaf and mute at that point, because he said nothing and I went to bed to non-sleep.
But seriously, what was he thinking??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bonehead Hubby Moment...
Tell him if he wants to go soon after LO is born, he can take your daughter for the day (and hopefully you can find someone to be around to help you out if needed). That way, he can go see a game, enjoy one-on-one time with his daughter, and you won't have to deal with an a newborn and an 8yr old at the same time.
I'm sure he's just excited to use the tickets you got him so lovingly. Men just don't think sometimes. ;-)
And call me a total beeyotch, but I know my husband well enough to know that a 4pm or 7 pm game on a Friday night or Saturday means he will get very tipsy and be useless that night. And that was the intent of these built in Boys Night Out opportunities...giving him a night off.
I've been the Designated Driver for almost 9 months now. I fart when I pee. I pee when I cough My nipples look like chocolate pancakes. I have not slept a good night in 3 months. And I am pretty sure I am getting a hemorrhoid.
I think he can be smarter on his TEN GAME Choices ;-)
Oh good. So it was a gift to milk something out for yourself in return.
I didn't say nononono, I said "Let's just make sure I can have someone by the house to help that day he suggested the doubleheader"........he was the one who got annoyed by the "rules"
My 8 year old is amazing and I am sure she will be fine. I am just nervous about how I am going to feel 3 weeks post c-section. I had hip surgery three years ago which was worse because I was non-weight bearing for 8 weeks...I could barely get her breakfast and on the bus for camp when he went back to work. I worry about recovery and the hip issue with a newborn.
And I didn't get him an 11th anniversary present with the sole purpose of "milking something out of it for me"....you're cute for spinning it that way. But, when he went to Chicago when my daughter was 9 weeks old for a Bears game and then Vegas for a bachelorette party a couple months later, please believe I "milked" that for my sister trip to Italy while she was studying abroad. Hence the happy marriage ;-)
That One Gal From Alaska
My only don't is that first 1-2 weeks post birth. And then if he wants to bang out a doubleheader 3-4 weeks later, let's make sure I have a little help. That was it.
I had my daughter vaginally last time and I bounced back pretty quick (I was also 9 years younger and had no pre-existing injuries to deal with. I am in the dark about how this C-section will go for me.
Yeah, I did mention the help:
HE KEEPS SCROLLING.
Him: "June 14th? I think it's a doubleheader"
Me: LOOOOOONG PAUSE. "Well, I just need to make sure that I have someone here that day to help just in case"
Him: Truly puzzled and annoyed. "Why?"
Me: "Oh, I don't know, maybe because I will be 3 weeks POST major surgery, having been cut open (oh yeah, I was fully dramatic at this point), with a newborn, and an 8 year old to entertain...and you are planning a 12 hour day of drinking with the boys"
And I thought that the idea of a doubleheader on that day was a bit much...but that's just me.
Yes, he is amazing....but this was a bonehead moment. Should I have NOT gotten him the tickets...maybe. But we will communicate and work it out. I was cranky last night from a long commute home.
I have never had a c-section, so I don't know how I will feel. This may all be a moot point at the end of the day.
OP, your first line in your original post stated you already knew how this kind of thread went over just the other day. So yes, all the same bitches are going to chime in on your stupidity, which you yourself already admitted to. You knew this was going to be a big fat fail. Get out your spoon and eat it up boo.
My husband goes back to work 4 days after my scheduled c-section. If the baby happens to come earlier, he will have to go back to work the day after I have the baby until his scheduled time off. Also, my kid will barely be 2 and hardly as self sufficient as an 8 year old.
I just get his side better than yours. Tell him the dates you want him home with you and let him pick around those dates. No reason to get your panties in a bunch.
My Dad is taking part in a fundraiser on my birthday on may 30th, but I can't attend as I'll have a 3-4 week old, don't know how long it will take me to recover from the birth and it will be the anniversary of my MMC. I didn't say he couldn't do it because i can't go. There's other people going in my place.
I'm sure your daughter will be much more helpful than you think.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
I am working to have him enjoy this gift. I want him to. If there weren't 60 other games to chose from, maybe I would feel like you...go, and enjoy yourself this one day (like the fundraiser).
Yup. Bet you feel bad for my DH and my kids too
I do you seem mean ,non compromising and super judgemental
Sorry, I wasn't raised on fairy tales and fantasy. I tell it like it is, I don't have the time or the energy to sugarcoat shit for people who deserve a good slap upside the head with reality. Sorry you all seem to feed on flattery, and enjoy the "glitter shitters" more. I take no offense to that, and I quite enjoy watching you squirm when everyone doesn't agree with you, like you've never heard NO before in your entire entitled, self important lives. I'll keep enjoying being myself, and I'll keep enjoying you all being you, because it's enlightening, to say the least, to see how the other half thinks.
Seriously, you get no sympathy from me on this.
Oh, and at 8yrs old, DD1 would have been a champ at helping with just about everything. You're over-reacting.
DD born 2/3/03
BFP 3/21/13 w/ EDD 12/02/13, C/P 3/29/13.
BFP 9/18/13 w/ EDD 5/26/14,
Beta #1 @ 14-16dpo = 375, progesterone 33.6
Beta #2 @ 20-22 dpo = 8,782!
Beta #3 @ 27-29dpo = 44,230, dx subchorionic hemorrhage/ threatened mc
Beta #4 @ 29-31dpo = 72, 080
Grow, little one, grow!
***** All AL Welcome *****
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
Sorry, I wasn't raised on fairy tales and fantasy. I tell it like it is, I don't have the time or the energy to sugarcoat shit for people who deserve a good slap upside the head with reality. Sorry you all seem to feed on flattery, and enjoy the "glitter shitters" more. I take no offense to that, and I quite enjoy watching you squirm when everyone doesn't agree with you, like you've never heard NO before in your entire entitled, self important lives. I'll keep enjoying being myself, and I'll keep enjoying you all being you, because it's enlightening, to say the least, to see how the other half thinks.
</blockquote
Glitter shitters! This gave me an interesting mental image
I get it... he has DOZENS of other games he can pick from so it's comical, and annoying, that he continued to pick ones right around her surgery. I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want him to go later in the summer. (OK yes, maybe she could've said that outright)
And I'm sorry, going to a baseball game with plenty of other options is not the same as a husband who goes back to work. My husband only gets a week and I understand. But if he told me that a week after the baby was here he was going off for a day of golf with his friends I would immediately be annoyed.
Everyone needs to relax on OP a bit, I think.
And might I add, my husband would be stoked if I gave him this gift - extra stipulations or not.
Unless you are a fan. Can't pick and choose when you cheer and support your team. Obviously some games are better than others but as a true fan, you root on and support regardless of opponent.
And Sunday afternoon, summer baseball games are phenomenal.
As a fan, I'll watch it on TV and not spend the day away from my family. As someone that is a fan and wants to make the most of my limited games I have access to, I'll chose the ones that are likely to be most entertaining.
ETA: We have season tickets for baseball at the major university where I live. We go to every game we can, regardless of how interesting it should be (conference, non-conference, etc...). However, if I could only chose 10, why the hell wouldn't I chose the best 10 I possibly could???
OP - at first I kind of agreed with you because my husband does sometimes make plans that don't work time wise and I have to ask him to switch. However, I don't tell him to f@ck off. If this gift was coming with rules you honestly should have told him about these rules before you let him get carried away with planning. I'm sure he would love to take your daughter out to a couple games - but shouldn't he be the one to decide who he goes with? You said your daughter was great, so I don't understand why you are so worried about having her and your new baby around. If you simply don't want to be left alone why don't you just ask a friend to come visit or go visit a friend?
Freaking out at other posters when you yourself said that you knew this sort of stuff gets flamed just shows immaturity. If you don't want someone to tell you how it is then don't put it up online.
Honestly, I feel bad for your husband. It seems like he has to ask you for premission in order to go have a good time, and when he comes back you will use it against him in order to get whatever you want. Personally, this doesn't sound like a happy marriage.
That One Gal From Alaska