Rude comments rant

fsumom · March 2014

ohyealovely said:

So far this pregnancy I've gotten "you don't even look that big" and "wow you're huge". To me that just says people are dumb and have no filters. The comments don't stop after you have the baby either. Then it's "wow your baby is so tiny!" or "wow you're baby is so chubby!" You can never win with people.

Or, when are you due when you had the baby 2 weeks ago!

MrsRahl · March 2014

Don't walk into H&M or forever 21 while pregnant. Apparently you become a freak show of stares and disgust. At least that was my experience. I wanted to turn and slap a few of those girls. Last time I checked pregnancy was a normal and beautiful part of life...

Pepper6 · March 2014

Luckily, I haven't gotten any comments from strangers yet. I went to happy hour with a friend last week who I haven't seen since just after my a/s when I wasn't really showing all that much and he made an offhand "oh, I thought you might be bigger by now", but I've known him for 10 years and I'm the first in our group of friends to be pregnant, so I know it was more of an "I'm a guy and have no idea how pregnancy works" kind of comment than an "oh no, your baby must not be okay since you are smaller than I think you should be" so it didn't bother me at all.

Also, I just saw my parents and sister this weekend for the first time since Christmas, so they made comments about how I actually looked pregnant this time, but nothing out of the ordinary. My dad just kept looking at me saying how weird it is to see me pregnant though, but that's because I'm the baby and I was always a daddy's girl growing up, so he's still getting used to the idea. LOL.

b48kate · March 2014

Really the only appropriate thing to say to a pregnant women is that they look beautiful with child. I've gotten a few of those comments and it makes me melt...I could hear that all day. True or not, I don't care. I have also had quite a few comments that I have only really gained weight in the bump area. This probably appears true only because I have always had a figure that already features a lot of hips, thighs, booty. I know a few women at work who have a more "up and down" or petite figure who really develop a more rounded shape for the first time in pregnancy. These more dramatic changes have elicited so many remarks from our coworkers and I totally feel for these ladies!

rastrau · March 2014

You simply can't win! You're either too big or too small and somehow all of these people are experts on bump size. Back off, yo! It's not appropriate to make these comments to non-pregnant people, so why is my pregnancy now public property?

The same co-worker who tells me I'm "so small" and that I need to "stop starving the baby" is also the one who asks if I really should be eating a second bagel at 10 in the morning. She's a total throat punch candidate.

rastrau · March 2014

lizardbreath14 said:

MrsRahl said:

I was just surprised to hear everyone talking about percentiles and my office visits have nothing like that involved.

Mine don't, either. Although I just started at a new practice, so maybe they will start talking in those terms. I don't know. Kinda wish they would, but I just presume that means everything's about average.

Same here. I asked once because I was so self-conscious about all the small bump comments and worried that I wasn't doing something right (FTM) and my MW simply responded that I am measuring right on track, whatever that means. I guess I figure if there's a problem, they'll let me know.

Pepper6 · March 2014

I was just watching this episode of The Office last night, but this thread reminded me of it. It's where Pam is pregnant and she's getting a donut in the break room and Ryan comments "You know, it's a myth that women need to gain more than 7 lbs during pregnancy". She just looks at him and takes a bite. Man...I would throat punch anyone if they said that...

JujuB22 · March 2014

Miss Renee said:

I'm getting that too. What really irks me is when people ask how I'm feeling and then I get the "that's nothing yet, just wait until later in third trimester". Thanks.

Similar. Had to pee, and when I came back lady was like "I do not miss going pee every 5 minutes". I replied with "Yea its getting old quick" and she says "Well its only going to get worse".

Duh....this isn't my first pregnancy. She was just trying to make friendly conversation, in fact first time she has ever really talked to me, but I'm stabby.

folding · March 2014

Not only do I get weight comments, but I also get comments about the babies being so close together in age. EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION goes like this:

Them: So when is this one due?

Me: End of June.

Them: WOW. And Oliver is...?

Me: He just turned 1.

Them: WOW. Well, they'll be close in age.

Me: Yes, that thought has crossed my mind.

Them: They'll be best friends!

Me: Perhaps.

Them: That's a LOT of work for you. GOOD LUCK! HAHAHA

Katieluc106 · March 2014

Natalie78W said:
Im due June 24th. On Friday I got, "OMG HOW MUCH BIGGER CAN YOU GET"! I know that feel girl.

Due date buddies and rude comment buddies. I feel your pain. Yes I'm gunna get bigger I have 3 more months to go!!!

kbellizio3 · March 2014

Being the first of my friends to be pregnant I expected more comments, but the only ones I've gotten so far were from my sister (who's 19, and she's my sister so I just throw something back at her). Around Christmas she said "I don't see a bump, you just look like you ate a lot of cookies", being a bigger girl comments like that kind of irk me, but since it was my sister I just shrugged it off. A few weeks ago she said to me "I know you've always had bigger hips, but they've never been THAT big"...yes, I'm well aware of the fact that my hips have always hindered me from finding pants that fit properly, and I'm quite aware that my hips and belly are where most of the baby weight (all the weight that my doctor is NOT concerned about) is sitting.

The only comments I got that have irked me was when DH told his brother we were pregnant, and after saying "Oh congrats!" he made a comment along the lines of "well was it planned"...DH and I had been married for a year at that point...and even so it's not your business. And then the doctor at the Antenatal unit said rather bluntly "since you're an overweight patient we're going to need to do a dating ultrasound around 34 weeks since your doctor probably won't be able to track the baby's growth properly because you're bigger". (the baby has been measuring 50 percentile the whole pregnancy, which my doctor has been able to tell). I swore DH was going to snap a retort at him. But I just kind of smiled and said "ok I'll talk to my doctor about it because they haven't been concerned about my weight at all".

I feel like pregnancy is an excuse for peole to lose their filters.

brooklyngirl46 · March 2014

I hate the responses I get if I make a comment about something that's not pregnancy related, it's "that's what being pregnant is..." Yeah. That's totally it. It's not that my back hurts because I was sitting in a crappy folding chair for the whole day, while typing on a table that was too high for where I was sitting. Or that I am tired because my DH wakes up 2 hours before me, and sets 4 freaking alarms every day. I'm actually more than just a pregnant woman, I'm a person too.

jwarnerb · March 2014

LoHerrim said:

@saltypearl screw them. You're fantastic. Sometimes it's all I can do to brush my teeth and/or hair. Sometimes it's a one or the other kinda day.

Now I am trying to remember if I brushed my teeth this morning...I seriously cannot remember.

brooklyngirl46 said:

I hate the responses I get if I make a comment about something that's not pregnancy related, it's "that's what being pregnant is..." Yeah. That's totally it. It's not that my back hurts because I was sitting in a crappy folding chair for the whole day, while typing on a table that was too high for where I was sitting. Or that I am tired because my DH wakes up 2 hours before me, and sets 4 freaking alarms every day. I'm actually more than just a pregnant woman, I'm a person too.

Yes. This. So much this.

chloephoebecali · March 2014

I guess I'm in the minority. I loved hearing that I looked small. I never took it as people judging that my baby was unhealthy and that I should be bigger. Also, this time around someone gave me a twin comment. It didn't bother me like it did with my first pregnancy. Plus I know I'm big this time. I feel most people just want to talk and not so much put you down. They don't realize how stuff can come across.

mrsbradymama · March 2014

The next person that comments on my body changes other than saying, "wow, pregnancy has made your boobs look amazing!" May end up getting a drop-kick to the face!

Today it was, "wow i just noticed how chubby your face is getting- it's that cute pregnancy chubby face!". This same coworker has also told me that my butt was getting bigger and that "your going to carry your pregnancy in your butt area"...oh and "you get bigger EVERY time I see you, your getting so big so fast that I bet you'll have a 9-10lb baby".

I got married in August and had been in the best shape of my life right before I got pregnant. I've been adjusting with the changes taking place and body image issues, but these comments just set me off! I wish people would think before they speak!

PressLove · March 2014

brooklyngirl46 said:

I hate the responses I get if I make a comment about something that's not pregnancy related, it's "that's what being pregnant is..." Yeah. That's totally it. It's not that my back hurts because I was sitting in a crappy folding chair for the whole day, while typing on a table that was too high for where I was sitting. Or that I am tired because my DH wakes up 2 hours before me, and sets 4 freaking alarms every day. I'm actually more than just a pregnant woman, I'm a person too.

Yes, I hate that everything is pregnancy-related. I had good days and bad days before I was pregnant. I'll have them after the pregnancy. Sometimes stuff just happens.

folding · March 2014

I work in trusts and estates (I do estate administration mostly) and one of our clients/executors happens to be one of the real estate partners in our office so I see her often to discuss estate matters. She is notorious for putting things off. I have been attempting to get something on the calendar with her to discuss the closing of various trusts for her children and nieces/nephews, for which she is the trustee (am I boring you yet?) Anyway, today I sat down and talked to her and she mentioned that she knows we still need to resolve those issues and that we should plan on having a meeting in late June or in July. I laughed and said that perhaps we should think of another time to meet, and she looked at me and said she completely forgot I was pregnant again. (!) Then she said that last time I was so much bigger. And that she "can't keep up with my many pregnancies." Yes, so many. I'm just a revolving uterus.

ElTrain5 · March 2014

I was told in the copy room today that I've "super popped". Whatever the fuck that means.

FutureMrsW9 · March 2014

uuugh I seriously hate people! My SIL has actually made the "you're so tiny" comment numerous times. I'm 5'10, 190 normally and she's 5' 90 lbs soakign wet, so she showed very early and was huge from like 20 weeks on because baby just had nowhere to go. Obviously I'm a much larger person. I'm not fat by any means, and thankfully my baby weight so far is allllll belly! So screw her! Everyone else has told me that I look so good/cute, and frankly I've never felt so good about myself in my entire life! I know that might sound cliche or silly, but I really feel so good and I do feel like I actually look good, which is not something I typically say about myself. So screw everyone and their dumb comments and enjoy your pregnancy!

SarahS11 · March 2014

I get told all the time that I look small and REAAAAALLY low... Sorry, I can't control how my ute wants to hold my baby... I am exactly as pregnant as a coworker so we are constantly compared... One day the pregnant coworker told me "Aww you look so cute, mine is like a big old basketball and your weight is getting spread out on your body!" Ummm I'm sorry, what?!? Sorry I am getting wide instead of just a bump.

I have yet to get told how cute I look... Or that I am glowing... I get "you look exhausted, are you sleeping at all?" All the time. Pregnancy must really do me favors with all these awesome compliments I keep getting... Ha!

fsumom · March 2014

MegK82 said:

I haven't gotten any rude comments on my size....but I have with people assuming this is an "oops" baby because our youngest is about to turn 7. I always tell them, nope, we planned this baby. It just took me 7 years to talk my husband into having another.

I have been asked if this one was planned and if DD and this one are from the same father (the answer is yes to both if you're curious). The nerve of people. My DD turned 7 last October.

ElTrain5 · March 2014

@rachel5130 I like it when you get all
Feisty

quinnlucas6118 · March 2014

I get so sick of "You're barely showing, you barely look pregnant." Well I may not be huge but there's definitely a difference and the baby is weighing in the 70th percentile. I also have had 2 women to date have the nerve to ask how big I'm measuring because I'm just "too small." Well I'm actually measuring 1 weeks ahead so there idiots. People have a lot of nerve.

mjdavies · March 2014

Two more to add to the list today.

One male coworker said, "you're getting so big." How is that statement ever OK to say to anyone! He is also the coworker who asked me if it was planned. The thing that bothers me the most is that he has a 1 and 3 year old. You can't tell me your wife didn't complain about those kind of comments pretty recently.

Another woman coworker told me that I looked super pregnant. That one didn't bother me as much because she is young and doesn't know any better but still two comments about being big today isn't so good for the ego.

SarahSmile01 · March 2014

If one more person asks me if I'm having twins I may punch them. I got asked 3 times today by total strangers, 'twins?' Granted, this baby is big. Measuring 3 weeks ahead now. But I actually had a woman insist that I was having twins and that the Dr 'must have missed it'. After 5 minutes of insisting it's just one little boy in there, I kindly explained to the woman that "I was actually pregnant with twins but one vanished at 6 weeks" (which is true) then I leaned in pointed to my belly and whispered "I think he ate the other one, he clearly has a good appetite" the woman was horrified and ran off.

I was feeling quite pleased as I walked away until I rounded a corner and another woman (also a stranger) said "Look at you about to pop! Is it twins!" Aaaaarrrggggggg

mschware · March 2014

I'm so glad this thread was made. So last month, one of my internship supervisors looked at me with a serious face and said "what's in your belly?" And I just laughed cause I was pretty sure everyone knew.. And he goes "no I'm serious. Is that a BABY?" And then he just said wow.. And walked away. HOW RUDE! Oh and pre-pregnancy I was a healthy weight, but my dad's side of the family is super skinny and my moms side is chubby. So whenever I would see them I would either get called the cake eater, or the girl who doesn't eat enough. And now that I'm pregnant they constantly feel the need to comment on belly size, my hips, and whether I'm still going to be able to fit in my clothes or swimsuits.. Most of these people have been pregnant themselves before so I don't see why they think it's okay to say this stuff to us!

folding · March 2014

Building janitor whom I haven't met until today was waiting for the same elevator as me. I smiled at her and asked how she was doing and she didn't waste any time. The following conversation transpired all in the 30 seconds it takes to go from the 34th floor to the lobby of my work building:

Lady: What are you having?

Me: Boy.

Lady: Good Lord, I hope soon.

Me: Is June considered soon?

Lady: He's a big boy!

Me: Currently about two pounds of wonderful.

Lady: I mean you're carrying big.

Me: Yeah, I kind of figured....

Lady: Really big!

Me: I hope you have a great day!

I was wearing a winter coat so I'm not sure if that contributed to this, but I will say this is the first time this entire pregnancy that someone has come right out and said I was carrying big. I wonder what she would have thought of me last year, when I actually was carrying quite big and gained 55 lbs. This time around I've gained 15. Sheesh.

jessicalynn0828 · March 2014

I work with my aunt and i love my supervisor but they took it upon themselves to talk about my nonstop growing 38H Boobs.... "I wonder if shes breastfeeding.. cause shes going to smother that baby" i wasn't even around for this conversation, i was told later

Thanks... A lot....

Also, "How are you feeling?" "When are you due?"... the same people ask me these questions every week.... I'm making a shirt that says "I'm feeling great, Due June 9th" across the chest and "F*** you all" across my back.

Rant Over.

tinyangel12 · March 2014

I have big babies....My DD was 9lbs 5oz and I am only 5'2" tall so I get a torpedo belly. So the question I always get is...Are you having Twins? So annoying. >:/

JujuB22 · March 2014

MegK82 said:

I haven't gotten any rude comments on my size....but I have with people assuming this is an "oops" baby because our youngest is about to turn 7. I always tell them, nope, we planned this baby. It just took me 7 years to talk my husband into having another.

This. We were going to wait to try til the wedding, but due to some health concerns doc said it would be better if we started trying sooner. One month later BFP. So we moved up the wedding. My aunt was talking to me about the wedding dates and pregnancy and kept making comments that made it obvious that she thought this baby was an oops. I lost my cool when she said again "Well everything happens for a reason!" To which I replied "Yes it happened for a reason, because we planned him and tried!" Can't get through to some people.

Silvermystique13 · March 2014

No one has commented on how big my belly is. I've been told I'm measuring on target, though he feels freakin' huge! No, it's all been about how big my boobs have gotten. Granted, they were big to begin with, But now.... And it usually the same conversation. "Are you going to breastfeed?" "Yeah, I'm gonna at least try." "Oh, with how big they already are, you shouldn't have a problem!" OK, seriously? There's no guarantee the milk will come in, if there's enough, if he'll take to it, or if he can digest it! Hell, I'm not even sure I'll be allowed to, in case I still need to take my meds while breastfeeding!

LindsayDesigner · March 2014

LoHerrim said:
MIL who is morbidly obese (5' tall and 300lbs) likes to comment on how big I am and how my stretch marks are getting worse. Like, every. Single. Day. And then she laughs about it. I think it makes her feel better? Getting really stabby about it though.

What the hell is wrong with her? That's ridiculous.

jmknox · March 2014

I had a patient go," You're having a baby??? Was this Planned?" I said of course it was that we needed to get on with it bc I was already in my 30s. He said oh, I thought you were only 24 or something. *SMH. Oh People.