Shower Close to Due Date — The Bump
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Shower Close to Due Date

Ok so my husband's aunt and her daughters have graciously offered to throw me a shower and of course I accepted their offer!  My only worry is that she wants to have it RIGHT after the baby is born so that my MIL and SIL will be in town for it.  I'm concerned about this.  She has it set for 5 days after my due date, and all I can think about is how it's perfectly possible he won't be born on time and might come the day of the shower.  OR even if he does come on time, I can't stop worrying about whether I will be in any condition to enjoy a social gathering of any kind that soon after giving birth.  I don't want to be rude and ask that it be a different time, and I don't want to decline the offer since I'm so touched that they extended it and I know they're eager to celebrate since this will be the first baby on that side of the family.... I guess I'm looking for some reassurance that I won't be so sleep deprived and hormonal as to make it a stressful event for myself.
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Re: Shower Close to Due Date

  • I agree with PP's....completely ridiculous that they would offer to throw you a shower after your due date to accomodate 2 people.  They should be accommodating you, the guest of honor.  There is no way I was prepared to leave the house 5 days after my first child was born, let alone put on a pretty face and pass around my baby to numerous people.  Hello, GERMS!   Unless it's like a small intimate group of 5 or less people and they are willing to come to you I would decline.  

    It is not rude to request that they do it earlier.  I understand being gracious but that doesn't mean you should let them inconvience you.  You are probably stressed out enough.  I would suggest date at least 3 (I would do 6) weeks prior to your due date or 4 weeks after.  Sorry if MIL and SIL can't make it.  (My own mother will not be attending my shower because she'd rather fly in after to meet the baby.  Her choice.  My feelings arent hurt at all.)

    And as far as gifts go, unless you have, or will have, everything you need for a newborn, you can use that as a suggestion in your reasoning aside from all that's listed above from PPs. 

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    RC1014
  • I would absolutley decline a shower that was scheduled 5 days after my due date. 

    My DD was born 9 days before her due date, and there's no way in hell I was emotionally or physically ready for a party when she was 2 weeks old. 

    My best friend (a FTM) just had her baby boy at 41 w, so it's quite possible your baby won't even be born yet.

    I mean, does your aunt have any kids?  She seems to not understand how this works.

     

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

    jf198400
  • Thank you for the advice! Yes, she has three kids which is why I thought maybe she knew something I didn't about recovery time, but after your stories I see I am right in my reluctance. What is a good way for me to politely ask that it be held a few weeks earlier?
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  • Most first time moms are late, I believe the average first pregnancy is 41 weeks 1 day. That said, as someone who has gone over a weke late both times - there is no way I would be up to being pleasant and social 5 days after my due date.

    Especially with my first, I don't think I think I consistently kept my shirt over my boobs for any length of time during the first week home - between getting the hand of breast feeding and leaking everywhere. I honestly remember going for a walk with a friend like two weeks out and noticing part way through that my shirt was pulled down below my nursing bar the entire time! Aka there is no way I would be up for a party.

    Ask them to have it a different date, if they won't decline.
    [Deleted User]
  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
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    I can't really say anything different than the others.  First - I went 6 days past my DD.  Second - the first 2 weeks were just hard.  HARD.  And I had an easy pregnancy and recovery.  But I just wasn't functioning well the first 2 weeks.

    Plus, YOUR schedule matters.  YOURS.  Not your MIL or SIL.  Yes, it would be nice if they could be there, but to HELL if their attendance is more important than  yours - OR your COMFORT.
  • " Thank you so much for your kind offer.  I truly appreciate it.  However, the date won't work for us.  Please let me know if another date is available."

    If she tries to keep pushing you on the same date, just keep repeating yourself "It won't work."  Don't give details as to why because common sense should dictate why and she would just argue with you anyways.  
  • Nope, nope, nope, NOPE. There is just no situation where this would be pleasant for you. 


  • With any shower there is a chance of missing the shower due to child birth. This happened for my cousin. The shower was planned two months before the due date, however baby had other plans. My aunt and other cousin (ones hosting the shower) got a call hours before guests would arrive. We all showed up, had a party, enjoyed the company of others, and left our gifts to be picked up later. It all worked out and was a good time, plus we had a new healthy baby to celebrate!
  • Nope. I would decline and my LO came early. While I liked having A guest or TWO over after LO was born- I would not want to be going to a party in my honor 5 days after the birth. Nope. I had a planned section which turned into an emergency section and was in the hospital for 4 days. There is NO WAY I'd be out and about that first day home. 
  • I think I'd have to decline having a shower so close to my due date. I had my shower at 32w and it was perfect because I knew what I still needed to get and had more than enough time to still get it. Plus, you really won't want to be at a huge social event that soon after giving birth, or you could potentially miss it and still be in the hospital!
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