Test results came in. Someone lift my spirits

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

So reading the title you probably thought I found out something was wrong...exact opposite. They found nothing. I have had 2 miscarriages back to back, they ran a ton of tests taking 10 vials of blood and nothing.

I'm devastated and feel like an idiot for being sad I am healthy! That's awful!!

But what now? More testing? More doctors appointments? More waiting for an answer I may never get only to get pregnant and be terrified?

I hate this feeling. I guess having an answer and moving forward was just too easy? These test results gave me hope. Hope that we might get answers and move forward but now I'm back right where I started.

This overwhelming sense of dissapointment, sadness and anger is too much today.

Asallade · March 2014

Oh hon, I'm sorry! As a self-proclaimed control freak who always has to know all the answers, I can totally sympathize with you. I would have exactly the same reaction.

I don't know that I have anything to cheer you up with (I'm having another rough day and just popped in here to whine, but your headline caught my attention). How about full permission to scream, cry, and throw things?? That's what I'd be doing in your place!

(((hugs!!!)))

tiffanymyers · March 2014

Oh, I'm so sorry there wasn't something deemed "treatable" as the root cause. As you know, I am in the same boat as you and am awaiting results of my bloodwork as well. I so much want to have something to put my finger on and say, "that's what caused my pregnancies to fail!" But it may not be that easy.

I am a scientist by trade and have scoured the literature and talked to my OB for possible causes. Honestly, given that we are both of "advanced maternal age," we both may simply have had 2 bum eggs in a row. Statistics show that as many as 66% of eggs in women over 35 have problems due to their advanced "maturity," but that up to 70% of women in our boat (no explanation for miscarriages) have gone to have healthy, naturally-conceived pregnancies without any type of intervention. That's very encouraging! Even if it truly stinks having to suffer through the pregnancies that don't make it.

Have you had karyotyping done yet?? Could that be a possible cause? If so, then IVF might be the right way to increase the likelihood that the next pregnancy takes...

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

tiffanymyers said:
Oh, I'm so sorry there wasn't something deemed "treatable" as the root cause. As you know, I am in the same boat as you and am awaiting results of my bloodwork as well. I so much want to have something to put my finger on and say, "that's what caused my pregnancies to fail!" But it may not be that easy.

I am a scientist by trade and have scoured the literature and talked to my OB for possible causes. Honestly, given that we are both of "advanced maternal age," we both may simply have had 2 bum eggs in a row. Statistics show that as many as 66% of eggs in women over 35 have problems due to their advanced "maturity," but that up to 70% of women in our boat (no explanation for miscarriages) have gone to have healthy, naturally-conceived pregnancies without any type of intervention. That's very encouraging! Even if it truly stinks having to suffer through the pregnancies that don't make it.

Have you had karyotyping done yet?? Could that be a possible cause? If so, then IVF might be the right way to increase the likelihood that the next pregnancy takes...

I have had 2 in a row but I am only 27 so I don't think advanced maternal age is the issue here. Kerotyping was part of the testing that I recieved results back from and all came back negative (or normal). I have an appointment with my OB on Thursday to discuss possibly going for more tests. Maybe there is something wrong in my uterus or, like you said, with the eggs that is causing this. That can't be seen through a blood test.

It's just very hard for me to have hope for a next pregnancy if I can't find something tangible and treatable. Being PGAL is terrifying regardless but I don't know if I am strong enough to get pregnant again not knowing what's wrong. I just can't go through this pain a third time.

tiffanymyers · March 2014

Maxsmommy123112 I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to put you in the advanced maternal age category when you didn't belong there!

I completely understand where you're coming from though about not wanting to go through this pain a 3rd time, if there is *anything* you can do to help possibly prevent it.

******Warning***** Live children mentioned**********

You do have another child though, right? Because if you've had a healthy pregnancy in the past, odds are you will having another healthy pregnancy. That's the hope I'm clinging to right now as I desperately try to give my daughter a sibling.

tiffanymyers · March 2014

P.S. One of the additional tests my OB is planning to run is to do an ultrasound of my uterus immediately following my first period, to make sure there are no structural abnormalities in it. She said we've only seen my uterus with a thick lining and something in it. It will be good to look it while the lining is minimal and nothing will obscure our view. That might be worth discussing with your OB if the topic hasn't already come up.

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

tiffanymyers said:
Maxsmommy123112 I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to put you in the advanced maternal age category when you didn't belong there!

I completely understand where you're coming from though about not wanting to go through this pain a 3rd time, if there is *anything* you can do to help possibly prevent it.

******Warning***** Live children mentioned**********

You do have another child though, right? Because if you've had a healthy pregnancy in the past, odds are you will having another healthy pregnancy. That's the hope I'm clinging to right now as I desperately try to give my daughter a sibling.

***LIVING CHILD MENTIONED***

It's ok! I think you were thinking of the other person that is on our group message. Her user name escapes me at the moment...probably because my mind is all over the place.

I do have a son. And I am also clinging to that hope as well. Although there is this nagging part of me that is worried maybe something happened when he was born or during my C section that caused something in there to be 'off', for lack of a better term. His birth was difficult, with complications and long. I try so hard to keep my mind from wandering but I just can't help it. The wait for these results seemed like forever. And now here I am again, stuck.

I was holding on so tightly to this and now I have nothing to hold on to. Does that make sense?

@tiffanymyers‌ I do admire your optimism. That you are so ready and willing to try again after 2 miscarriages as soon as your cycle returns, answers or not. I truly can learn a thing or two from you.

This is a hard lesson for me to learn. To just trust in something bigger than myself and come to terms with the fact that I may never get answers.

I'm not there yet but hopefully one day I will be at peace with just not knowing and moving forward.

I truly don't understand how some of you are so strong as to do that.

gabbagal · March 2014

Unfortunately all I can do is sympathize with you since my 10 vials of blood also came back "normal". It was such a weird "lose, lose" situation for me b/c either something is medically wrong with you or nothing is and you have no explanation. It's so tough and I'm so sorry you're dealing with it

stephy1221 · March 2014

**ticker warning**

I am so sorry you didn't get any answers but glad that there was nothing that they could come with at the same time. I am sorry you are having to process this.

speck10 · March 2014

@Maxsmommy123112‌ - I'm sorry you did not get any answers from the RPL texts! I was hoping you would! Are all the tests back or just some of them? I heard chromosome tests take longer? Also, have you ever had an HSG dye test? That could give you some answers.

speck10 · March 2014

@tiffanymeyers - You were probably thinking of me. I'm 37. Thanks for stating those statistics. That made me feel a little better. I'm also reading a good book, "Coming to term: uncovering the truth about miscarriages".

JCM285 · March 2014

I'm sorry there were no answers from your tests! I would be frustrated too! I hate not knowing anything and I can sympathize with you on that, although I haven't had any tests done. Hang in there!

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

I don't have anything to add but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry you didn't get any answers. ((((Hugs))))

Deenie1230 · March 2014

I'm so sorry. I think we were due around the same time if I'm not mistaken. I just want to say how sorry I am you have no answers. I'm preparing myself for potentially the same news this week. It's human nature to want to fix and prevent bad things and it's devastating when we cannot do this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish I had more inspiring things to say. Lots of love to you.

GR8TDANEMOM · March 2014

I'm sorry you didn't get any answers. Thoughts and prayers for you Hun.

kate6214 · March 2014

I'm so sorry. It's like you want something to be wrong so you can fix it and move on. It has to be so frustrating. Give yourself time to heal. Everyone takes different amounts of time. I know I still have some bad days now after my second loss that was 6 weeks ago.

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

Thank you all for the kind words and just for being here when I need you. I have an appointment with my OB on Thursday to discuss what my options are as far as other tests we can run. I am trying to stay optimistic but it's so hard. Slowly coming to terms with needing to be ok with no answer and still TTC again.

meredithcarole · March 2014

I found out after suffering my miscarriage that my mom had 2 miscarriages between me and my brother (which suddenly made the 4.5 year age difference make sense). I can completely understand being afraid to go through it again; I know I am scared of having multiple miscarriages (as I am sure everyone here is). Perhaps the fact that they have found nothing wrong is the simple truth and the next time will work out perfectly.

mrssl3813 · March 2014

Having no answers is definitely never easy. Please don't feel like an idiot.

Rache Spoodeena · March 2014

***loss mentioned***

I don't post often, but I just wanted to say I GET IT! I am currently having my second MC in a row as I type this. It is so painful but all I can think about is WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Will I get an answer when they start doing tests? I just want a reason, so I can 'fix' it and try again.

Whatever you decide (more tests, trying again, looking at alternative choices...) best of luck and t&p for you!!

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

@Rache Spoodeena‌ I am so sorry for your loss and for what you must be going through at this very moment.

We haven't decided what our next step is. Between DH and I he is the optimistic one (with everything) and I am the pessimist or I would like to believe realistic one. Guess that's why our relationship works so well...we have a balance. He wants to try again in about a month. I am currently at my OBs office. I want to hear what she has to say before I decide what I want to do but I can't imagine the terror I will feel being pregnant again with no answers.

You will be in my T&Ps as you go through this difficult time. I am so sorry you lost your babies.

nohalo21 · March 2014

I'm sorry that you are left with no answers. When we started with the RE the first thing he ran was an HSG. He said sometimes there could be scar tissue, etc from the 1st pregnancy that may cause issues for future pregnancies. I would ask your OB about it.

speck10 · March 2014

@Maxsmommy123112‌ - how was your OB appointment?

Rache Spoodeena · March 2014

Thank you so much for your sweet words. Things really suck right now, but at least this is pain I can deal with... For now.

How did your appt go? Did you and DH talk next steps?

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

***living child mentioned***

@speck10‌ and @Rache Spoodeena‌ thank you so much for asking. Our OB said we can go forward with more testing but she doesn't recommend it as she thinks it's unnecessary. She is pretty adamant about the fact that the only probabilities in her mind were already tested. I did get my blood drawn for my progesterone levels and I am awaiting those results.

She thinks maybe stress -- extenuating circumstances caused high stress and anxiety coinciding with both miscarriages -- and she also mentioned fatigue because I have a 15 month old. I work part time (nights) and take care of DS during the day. Also, I am still breastfeeding him so she wants me to wean. That'll be fun **sarcasm**

Treatment plan for next pregnancy, in her words, "whatever you want me to do". She said she is open to anything that might help and not hurt. She will be putting me on blood thinners and progesterone suppositories as a precaution.

All in all I'm not really sure how I feel about everything. I am relieved there is nothing wrong but scared out of my mind at the prospect of getting pregnant again. DH is ready to go, he's the optimistic one. I'm sad and scared and stressed...the gamete of emotions. Guess we'll see how I feel in a month.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Maybe 3rd times a charm!!

PS DH has had several interviews in the past month for higher paying jobs, please keep us in your prayers for that! Would really help my stress level!!

gabbagal · March 2014

Thinking of you and DH!

The stress factor is so hard to handle, when I first got my BFP for my most recent m/c, all my friends were trying to be helpful by telling me to think positive thoughts and try not to stress b/c I worry by nature and my only other pregnancy had ended in a m/c, but once you go through that, I don't know how you can not be stressed or worried, especially after two in a row! I hope DH gets the job so that at least some of your stress can go away. Good luck and I'll also be thinking of you as the calendar turns to April

Rache Spoodeena · March 2014

Maxsmommy123112 said:
***living child mentioned***

@speck10‌ and @Rache Spoodeena‌ thank you so much for asking. Our OB said we can go forward with more testing but she doesn't recommend it as she thinks it's unnecessary. She is pretty adamant about the fact that the only probabilities in her mind were already tested. I did get my blood drawn for my progesterone levels and I am awaiting those results.

She thinks maybe stress -- extenuating circumstances caused high stress and anxiety coinciding with both miscarriages -- and she also mentioned fatigue because I have a 15 month old. I work part time (nights) and take care of DS during the day. Also, I am still breastfeeding him so she wants me to wean. That'll be fun **sarcasm**

Treatment plan for next pregnancy, in her words, "whatever you want me to do". She said she is open to anything that might help and not hurt. She will be putting me on blood thinners and progesterone suppositories as a precaution.

All in all I'm not really sure how I feel about everything. I am relieved there is nothing wrong but scared out of my mind at the prospect of getting pregnant again. DH is ready to go, he's the optimistic one. I'm sad and scared and stressed...the gamete of emotions. Guess we'll see how I feel in a month.

Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Maybe 3rd times a charm!!

PS DH has had several interviews in the past month for higher paying jobs, please keep us in your prayers for that! Would really help my stress level!!

Ah stress sucks, but do you really think it could cause a MC (sorry to be Debbie Downer!)? I am glad your doc is putting you on thinners and progesterone as a precaution. But I 100% understand the fear of getting pregnant again. DH does not want to because of the physical pain for me, but I can handle that... It's the going through another loss I am worried about.

You take as much time as you need to make the bet decision possible for YOU. And know you are supported all the way!

I will be praying for a stress free few months for you and guidance to make the right decision for you. What job is DH interviewing for?

Maxsmommy123112 · March 2014

@Rache Spoodeena‌ honestly, I don't think stress and fatigue alone could cause miscarriage. The ONLY thing that makes me think it's possible is 2 very traumatic things happened each coinciding with the date of my miscarriage. According to the US both babies stopped growing the week of the stressful incidences...if nothing else, it's a crazy coincidence. It is very hard for me to believe though and that is why I am having such a hard time about it

DH is a Financial Advisor. The position he is interviewing for is only slightly better as far as pay but he would get more incentives and commissions. Might hear back by tomorrow. I hope so!

Rache Spoodeena · March 2014

Nice!! I wish him luck! You are such a lovely person, hopefully one day soon your rainbow will be here

keep me posted on what happens! Sticky baby dust to you love xo

AggieBeth06 · March 2014

@Rache Spoodeena‌ - might consider editing your words. "Sticky baby dust" can be incredibly offensive to some ladies who have had their angel babies cremated, and the imagery of a sticky baby might be too hard to read for others. I know you mean well. Thanks.

Test results came in. Someone lift my spirits

Re: Test results came in. Someone lift my spirits

HB 140 @ 7w4d. MMC @ 10w (HB stopped 8w3d). After 2 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C October 2013. AF returned 56 days later. Advised to wait one cycle (December 2013)

HB 102 @ 6w4d. MMC @ 11w1d (HB stopped 7w4d). After 4 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C April 2014. AF returned 29 days later. Did testing for RPL - all normal. Was told can TTC again (May 2014)

u/s @ 6w showed sac, no HB. Second u/s @ 6w5d - HB detected but low. Third u/s @ 8w - HB 150! Fourth u/s @ 9w3d - HB in the 160's! Fifth u/s @ 11w3d - HB 172, baby measuring a day ahead!

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1bc5da.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>

HB 140 @ 7w4d. MMC @ 10w (HB stopped 8w3d). After 2 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C October 2013. AF returned 56 days later. Advised to wait one cycle (December 2013)

HB 102 @ 6w4d. MMC @ 11w1d (HB stopped 7w4d). After 4 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C April 2014. AF returned 29 days later. Did testing for RPL - all normal. Was told can TTC again (May 2014)

u/s @ 6w showed sac, no HB. Second u/s @ 6w5d - HB detected but low. Third u/s @ 8w - HB 150! Fourth u/s @ 9w3d - HB in the 160's! Fifth u/s @ 11w3d - HB 172, baby measuring a day ahead!

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1bc5da.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>

HB 140 @ 7w4d. MMC @ 10w (HB stopped 8w3d). After 2 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C October 2013. AF returned 56 days later. Advised to wait one cycle (December 2013)

HB 102 @ 6w4d. MMC @ 11w1d (HB stopped 7w4d). After 4 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C April 2014. AF returned 29 days later. Did testing for RPL - all normal. Was told can TTC again (May 2014)

u/s @ 6w showed sac, no HB. Second u/s @ 6w5d - HB detected but low. Third u/s @ 8w - HB 150! Fourth u/s @ 9w3d - HB in the 160's! Fifth u/s @ 11w3d - HB 172, baby measuring a day ahead!

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1bc5da.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>

HB 140 @ 7w4d. MMC @ 10w (HB stopped 8w3d). After 2 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C October 2013. AF returned 56 days later. Advised to wait one cycle (December 2013)

HB 102 @ 6w4d. MMC @ 11w1d (HB stopped 7w4d). After 4 rounds of Misoprostal, D&C April 2014. AF returned 29 days later. Did testing for RPL - all normal. Was told can TTC again (May 2014)

u/s @ 6w showed sac, no HB. Second u/s @ 6w5d - HB detected but low. Third u/s @ 8w - HB 150! Fourth u/s @ 9w3d - HB in the 160's! Fifth u/s @ 11w3d - HB 172, baby measuring a day ahead!

<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Getting Pregnant"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1bc5da.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>

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