@Aziebella, @sarahjanisse and anyone else who thinks that throwing yourself a shower is okay, I have a serious question. Do you honestly feel no shame in throwing yourself a gift-giving party?
My mom is hosting my shower from out of state. She planned and paid for everything and has kept me in the loop. While I have two girlfriends who offered to help her, one lives out of state and the other lives 40 minutes away from me and the restaurant where the shower will be held.
My mom and stepfather will be coming down the day before my shower with baby's furniture, cake, and whatever else my mom is bringing for the shower. She called me last weekend and told me that it's going to be too much for her to bring down centerpieces on top of all that since she wants flower arrangements, and would I mind going to a local florist and choosing/ordering them myself and using her credit card to pay for them. The florist is not even five minutes from my house so I said sure.
Honestly, I found it so awkward and uncomfortable to go in and sit down to design centerpieces and tell them it was for my own baby shower. I felt like they must think it's so sad that I'm doing it myself (even though I explained the mom/out-of-town situation). I really can't imagine planning my own shower and not feeling any shame in doing so.
This is going to sound snarky but people do this on the birthday every year. Unless you aren't allowed to have one of those unless someone offers to throw it for you. We didn't have a traditional 'shower' for our first, so H and I did host it at our home, with help from close family. There were no invites, no registry. We did not want to make people feel like gifts were nessisary, it was more of a BBQ/ family meal type celebration.
NikolasKnight
Born:August 8th, 20098lbs 8oz4:33pm
NolanLawrence
Born: May 21st, 20148lbs 14oz3:27pm
There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.
My last birthday party was almost 6 years ago, when I turned 25. That was a surprise party organized by my boyfriend at the time (now my DH). The last couple I've gone to have been Dirty 30s thrown by friends for other friends.
In any case, birthday parties aren't really the same as a shower. The entire purpose of a shower is to "shower" the mother to be with gifts and welcome her into motherhood. A birthday party is just a celebration, gifts are not necessarily expected. Can't compare the two.
@Aziebella, @sarahjanisse and anyone else who thinks that throwing yourself a shower is okay, I have a serious question. Do you honestly feel no shame in throwing yourself a gift-giving party?
My mom is hosting my shower from out of state. She planned and paid for everything and has kept me in the loop. While I have two girlfriends who offered to help her, one lives out of state and the other lives 40 minutes away from me and the restaurant where the shower will be held.
My mom and stepfather will be coming down the day before my shower with baby's furniture, cake, and whatever else my mom is bringing for the shower. She called me last weekend and told me that it's going to be too much for her to bring down centerpieces on top of all that since she wants flower arrangements, and would I mind going to a local florist and choosing/ordering them myself and using her credit card to pay for them. The florist is not even five minutes from my house so I said sure.
Honestly, I found it so awkward and uncomfortable to go in and sit down to design centerpieces and tell them it was for my own baby shower. I felt like they must think it's so sad that I'm doing it myself (even though I explained the mom/out-of-town situation). I really can't imagine planning my own shower and not feeling any shame in doing so.
This is going to sound snarky but people do this on the birthday every year. Unless you aren't allowed to have one of those unless someone offers to throw it for you. We didn't have a traditional 'shower' for our first, so H and I did host it at our home, with help from close family. There were no invites, no registry. We did not want to make people feel like gifts were nessisary, it was more of a BBQ/ family meal type celebration.
So now she can go on the post-it for WKing and throwing her own baby showers and birthday parties.
Seriously though, who on earth feels like throwing/hosting their own shower? If you told me right now I have to have my house presentable for a party where 20-30 people are coming over and figure out food as well, I'd be curled up in the fetal position sobbing.
OP I bet if you mention what happened to some close friends or other relatives they will jump in and help your god mother with your shower. I'm sure your godmother was feeling over whelmed with everything and jumped to the worst conclusion of canceling . I'm sure if others offered to help/ take over responsiblities things will work out. Good luck and I hope you can have the shower you were hoping for.
Am I the only person on the planet who thinks any kind of party in 3rd tri sounds like hell on earth? Especially with so many "politics" involved. If people want to give us gifts, let them give gifts of their choosing when they want to. Why should everyone else care about my ute-fruit?
Then again I haven't had a party since I was about 14. I have an awkward thing about saying to people "come and celebrate me! Bring me presents!" DH is the same. It's his 30th in June and he doesn't want to do anything.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
Adult birthday parties are "hey let's eat and have drinks this Saturday for my birthday like we sometimes do on other Saturdays for no reason". Anything else is kinda weird.
And throwing your own baby shower is not just not ok, it is sad. I was always under the impression that moms and MILs weren't really supposed to host either because it's like asking people to buy gifts for their grandchild. I think it's pretty normal for moms to do it but it is still kinda uncomfortable.
Not only was this thread super entertaining while I've been awake most of the night, but I now have two new phrases that I must incorporate into my conversations: ute-fruit and glitter shitters. Thanks, ladies, you never disappoint!
OP, welcome to the fold and I hope things work out for your shower.
BFP#1 8/3/12~EDD 4/1/13~Natural M/C 9/1/12-9w6d
BFP#2 5/30/13~EDD 2/3/14~Confirmed CP 5/31/13
7/12/13 Hysteroscopy & Lap Lysis of Adhesions
1st Cycle on Clomid Aug '13: BFP#3 8/24/13~EDD 5/3/14
I have nothing else to add since I'm in the 'throwing your own shower is tacky' camp, but I've gotta say I'm diggin' OP. Glitter shitters= epic. Since, you know, I'm already a huge fan of glitter (hence the sn).
Re: should i just cancel?
LCT - 5.15.14 ~ 9lbs, 22.5 inches
In any case, birthday parties aren't really the same as a shower. The entire purpose of a shower is to "shower" the mother to be with gifts and welcome her into motherhood. A birthday party is just a celebration, gifts are not necessarily expected. Can't compare the two.
gifts were nessisary, it was more of a BBQ/ family meal type celebration.
So now she can go on the post-it for WKing and throwing her own baby showers and birthday parties.
Then again I haven't had a party since I was about 14. I have an awkward thing about saying to people "come and celebrate me! Bring me presents!" DH is the same. It's his 30th in June and he doesn't want to do anything.
09/23/11 - Married DH
04/01/13 - BFP at 4wks
05/30/13 - MMC - BO @ 12wks 5d
08/29/13 - BFP @ 4wks 4d
09/17/13 - 7wks 2d - Normal HB Detected! Baby measuring perfect for dates and positioning!
10/23/13 - 12wks 3d - Perfect NT scan! HB 167 & baby wriggling, waving & yawning!
12/17/13 - 20wks 2 d - We're having a beautiful baby girl! Go Team Pink!
05/03/14 - Bobbie Gloria was born at 39+6 weighing 6lb 14oz!
Adult birthday parties are "hey let's eat and have drinks this Saturday for my birthday like we sometimes do on other Saturdays for no reason". Anything else is kinda weird.
And throwing your own baby shower is not just not ok, it is sad. I was always under the impression that moms and MILs weren't really supposed to host either because it's like asking people to buy gifts for their grandchild. I think it's pretty normal for moms to do it but it is still kinda uncomfortable.
OP, welcome to the fold and I hope things work out for your shower.
Glitter shitters= epic.
Since, you know, I'm already a huge fan of glitter (hence the sn).
OP, you GM has a whole month... Maybe you don't need to cancel. Talk to mom... Help out a bit.