Look out, I'm ranting

littlestjerry · March 2014

I encountered 2 more blatant instances of sexism today at work to add to the one I get once every week or so. It's really fucking frustrating and, honestly, makes me feel worse than I would have guessed it would make me feel. It's so disheartening that I've been a lawyer for almost five years and people still seem surprised that I am actually a practicing attorney that can handle hearings and trials. Wtaf?

My next rant is that this assface I keep on my friends list because I'm a masochist just shared this pic on Facebook. Whhhhhat the fuck are you even talking about? Also, you're racist. JFC.

SERENITY NOW.

littlestjerry · March 2014

I'm too much of a p word to call it out, plus I feel like it's not worth it.

Is FOAD fuck off and die? Fuck off after dinner? Either way, this day can do those things for me too!

Helenahhandbasket · March 2014

Uck I feel you on both things.

I work in an industry that's heavily dominated by women and I will say sexism is still rampant here. Seems like the pre req for a promotion here is having a penis.

LuckyDad · March 2014

Sorry to all of you dealing with sexism on the job. It's nice working in an industry that is pretty egalitarian, although of the top 10 positions at my company, 9 are men, 8 of whom are white.

That "meme" is just stupid, and a great example both of lying with "statistics" and why a meme is a terrible way to convey factual information.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

There's only one dude who even tries to be sexist around me at work. He tried to tell me that he couldn't do some of the reception work we have to do because it's a "girl's job".

Yeah. He lived to regret that statement in an epic way.

suziqnc · March 2014

I work in a male-dominated field, and our company's clients are mostly male. The company that I work for is great, and they have never treated me differently than the guys. But our clients, oh some of them are a different story.

I do however, find great joy in the following situation:

Phone Rings and I answer

Cust: Can I speak to *one of the guys*

Me: He isn't available, is there something that I can help you with?

Cust: No, I will wait to speak to *

Then hours later, one of the guys will get around to calling the customer back, and it goes like this:

Cust: I am having such and such problem

Guy: Oh, well you will have to talk to Susan about that, she is that one that handles those issues.

thebanich · March 2014

I work for a pretty diverse organization but the majority of our leadership is compromised of old white dudes. Fortunately most of them are not asshats. Unfortunately the one that is, is the head honcho.

NoSoup4You · March 2014

ScarlettPanda said:

I work in higher education (non academic side), and, while my office is entirely women, I feel like we're proving ourselves everyday to the male professors and vice presidents. We're the only office in the entire university that provides the service we do, and we do a shit ton of professional development, but they still can't possibly believe that we're the experts in our field. They know better, and *pat pat* it's cute that we try.

I could have written this word for word. It gets old, doesn't it.

littlestjerry · March 2014

Usually it's super old men but today it was younger, though still somewhat old, men so maybe that's why it got to me so much. Or maybe it's because it's chilly and rainy. Most likely, it's just because I'm a sensitive little lady who'd be better off transcribing the courtroom proceedings instead of participating in them.

missymo · March 2014

Ugh. Sorry you had to deal with that crap. I transitioned from residential real estate to commercial and was shocked at the sexist environment I found myself in. It was truly an "old boys club". Blech.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

ScarlettPanda said:

I work in higher education (non academic side), and, while my office is entirely women, I feel like we're proving ourselves everyday to the male professors and vice presidents. We're the only office in the entire university that provides the service we do, and we do a shit ton of professional development, but they still can't possibly believe that we're the experts in our field. They know better, and *pat pat* it's cute that we try.

DH works in the administrative side of higher education. He's worked in various offices over the last 15 years and he was almost always the only male working there.

He was always expected to do all the heavy lifting/spider killing/escorting people to their cars. He was rarely asked but told to do these things because he's "a man and women can't do those tasks."

littlestjerry · March 2014

To be fair, I'm not getting within 10 feet of a spider. I'll kill other bugs though.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I agree with Laura. That's very similar to what the OAs would wear at my last job. None of the female OAs wore makeup or styled their hair more than just pulling it back. The only time anyone at my firm was ever spoken to about their clothing during my time there was this one girl who insisted on wearing club clothes to work. Like super short dresses and super low-cut shirts, platform shoes, and really heavy makeup. It was weird and not the office culture at all. I mean, Seattle is pretty laid-back when it comes to office clothes, but that was just too far.

missymo · March 2014

Do you have a dress code? I'm trying to imagine what on earth your boss thinks is wrong with your outfit. Looks business casual.

littlestjerry · March 2014

I'm also curious to hear what your boss wears. I can't fathom what she thinks you should be wearing instead of what you're wearing in that picture.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

BunkinMama said:

HilarityEnsued said:

I was literally expecting jeans and a t-shirt. I have no idea how people dress in your office but that doesn't seem unprofessional to me. I think @laurat25 gave good advice. I'd check how others are dressing and try to mimic that.

Ha! That was on casual fridays, but she said I need to stop wearing jeans. Okay, fine, I can do that.

What the hell is casual friday for if you can't wear jeans?

vandelay · March 2014

Yeah, I think you look fine, @BunkinMama, but agree with the advice to check out other women's attire in the office. Are you looking to advance in the organization? I do agree with the concept of dressing for the job you want rather than the job you have; could she have meant that?

vandelay · March 2014

Ok then I have no idea. What you are wearing looks completely professional and I can't imagine it's less so than the outfits you just described.

littlestjerry · March 2014

Sounds like your boss thinks style I don't wear = not professional.

missymo · March 2014

Khakis and a black sweater would be more professional? There is actually debate out there as to if khakis even qualify as business casual. Not an important debate, but still. Sounds like some bullshit.

ETA: Not that I don't think khakis are business professional. It's just odd that she would suggest you wear something that could possibly be considered even less professional than what you had on today. Sounds like she is pulling this criticism out of her ass.

vandelay · March 2014

Those outfits look completely fine to me. I'm confused.

littlestjerry · March 2014

I'm so jealous of people that don't have to wear makeup. I have the acne of a teen and would not be able to show my face in public without makeup.

littlestjerry · March 2014

I've always worn foundation because my skin blows, but I didn't wear blush and eye makeup until the end of college. I loathed mascara at first, but now I love it, so yeah, I got used to it.

littlestjerry · March 2014

No lipstick ever. My only lip accoutrement is Burt's Bees.

vandelay · March 2014

My skin isn't clear, even now in my forties (blemishes AND wrinkles -- jealous?), and I'm very pale so I look like warmed-over ass without lipstick. On the few days in my life when I forgot to put on lipstick, I was repeatedly asked whether I was sick.

vandelay · March 2014

HilarityEnsued said:

I'm too lazy to do my hair. I wash it, let it air dry to a semi-dry state, then twist it back in a knot and clip it.

Oh this is me too, except I take 30 seconds to blow dry my bangs so they don't dry weirdly, then I twist a few pieces and let it air dry. My one criteria every time I get a haircut is that it will look ok on the roughly 28 days out of the month when I don't bother to style it.

thebanich · March 2014

I mostly gave up on eye makeup after child #1. Foundation and mascara on a good day. Now with both of them I'm lucky to have on pants and matching shoes :P

ReeseFox · March 2014

Okay, so I wanted to ask this question the other day and forgot. For those that wear makeup because of acne, do you not find that wearing makeup makes the acne worse? That's been my experience.

littlestjerry · March 2014

I'm sure it makes it worse, but I never go without makeup really so I have no frame of reference for how my skin would be if I stopped wearing makeup. But I can't stop wearing it because my face is so shitty. So, catch 22. I'm fairly certain my current acne issues are hormonal, though. I think only hormonal BC will improve it, but don't want to take it again until I'm done having kids.

littlestjerry · March 2014

Is BB cream a brand or a product made by various brands? I think I need this.

ReeseFox · March 2014

I've always had a hard time finding the right makeup for my skin. Both texture and skin tone. I have acne-prone, uneven skin with tons of acne scars. I need a heavy coverage foundation but that makes me break out. I need a miracle.

vandelay · March 2014

Yeah, same as Little Jerry -- I've never not worn it. Although my skin is not atrocious, it's never completely clear and my pale skin makes the blemishes stand out like crazy.

littlestjerry · March 2014

ReeseFox said:

I need a miracle.

Preaching to the choir! Fucking acne.

vandelay · March 2014

I do love Mac concealer in the tube. It covers well and comes in a ton of different shades (it is one of the few concealers that comes in a light enough shade for me).

ReeseFox · March 2014

GotGingy said:

@reesefox, have you ever tried Make Up Forever? They have a ton of shades, and this is my favorite foundation. Oil-free and has a matte finish.

ETA: And really good coverage. Coming from someone with awful acne, I used this for my wedding, and people thought the photos had been retouched.

I've never heard of it, but I'll be at the mall this weekend so I'll look for it. Thanks!

vandelay · March 2014

FTWR said:

vandelay said:

I do love Mac concealer in the tube. It covers well and comes in a ton of different shades (it is one of the few concealers that comes in a light enough shade for me).

Mac Pro Long Wear concealer? I've heard many a great things but I've never purchased it. I think I need to bite the bullet on that one.

No, I use the Select Cover-Up. Here's a link: https://www.maccosmetics.com/product/shaded/157/278/Products/Face/Concealer/Select-Cover-Up/index.tmpl. It looks like it just comes in 13 shades, so I guess not a "ton." I was just impressed they had one light enough for my vampire skin.

vandelay · March 2014

On the original topic, I'm in HR now which is somewhat female-dominated, but I did encounter sexism and ageism when I was a young litigation attorney. I was asked whether I was a paralegal or legal assistant on the reg, even by one client who had just watched me take a deposition in his case.

secretsout · March 2014

I wear jeans to work every day. Some people in my office dress up more, some dress down more.

I think that legally they are not allowed to enforce a dress code here. They might be able to encourage you to be professional, but they cannot dictate what that means.

I do wear light make up every day. I don't do my hair but that's because it looks beautiful all on it's own without me touching it (not really, but I pretend).

on the original topic, I don't personally experience sexism and I think it has to do with my position--I'm just tech support staff, really, so therefore performing a service for them that they don't feel threatened by. I know that higher up women do experience on a regular basis though it isn't always overt discrimination. I work in higher ed (in a tech office), but in an department/college that is white male dominated for sure. It is also much more difficult for women to get tenure due to institutional issues if they choose to have children.

edit for more clarity (or maybe less)

[Deleted User] · March 2014

Is it seriously legal to for employers to include makeup as part of a "professional" appearance when talking about a dress code? Because fuck. that.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

When I worked at McDonald's, makeup on the dress code was "light and natural-looking."
Which is a laugh because girls either wore no makeup or bright eyeshadow and thick eyeliner.
I only use spot concealer, mascara and lip gloss or chapstick usually.

jorkz821 · March 2014

overture said:
Is it seriously legal to for employers to include makeup as part of a "professional" appearance when talking about a dress code? Because fuck. that.

I think our dress code discusses that it has to be "light and professional, if worn" or something like that. So they'd rather you not go to the other extreme I guess.

I'm one of those who wears makeup every day though. Nothing crazy but just something so as to not scare small children with my paleness.

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