XP: Normal Fear C-Section Mamas

pinkmickey24 · March 2014

Good evening ladies! I posted this message on another board and I am looking for more feedback. You guys are unbelievably supportive and I am grateful to have you guys as my home board. It is crazy to think that my boys are almost a years old and I love them more everyday. DH has a job interview tomorrow and I have everything crossed that he gets the job. It has been over a year since he has worked and it has been a very tight and stressful year financially. The prospect of the job brings the reality of first getting ourselves back on our feet and then the possibility of expanding our family further. The second is what brings this fear that I have had since we started talking about number three which has me wondering if it is normal to feel this way. So please tell me how it is or to just suck it up and get over it because it really isn't a big deal.

I am here simply with a question. DH and I are not TTC #3 quite yet, but I we are talking about it. My boys are now ten months and they are the result of 3 IVF cycles. Up until 35 weeks we were a planned c-section due to baby A being breech, but at 35 weeks we discovered he had flipped and now we were going to attempt a vaginal delivery. The thoughts of a c-section left me with lots of anxiety, but by 35 weeks I had worked through all of the anxiety and came to terms with the method of delivery. I did attempt delivering vaginally, but A was sunny side up and his head was too large for my pelvis (at least that is how it was described to me by my OB). After about 2 hours of pushing it was decided that a c-section was the safest method of delivering both boys.

Now that DH and I are talking about TTC again it is bringing up the fear of attempting a vaginal delivery and ending up in the same situation as before all over again. The end result is totally worth it, but it has left me fearful of a vaginal delivery and I would rather skip right to the c-section. I plan on talking with my OB about this when I go for my yearly and to discuss taking out the IUD. I was just wondering if it is normal to have this fear or not.

luvboston · March 2014

Once you have one c section you usually have another so I don't think unless your doc is a big fan of vbac you would even be talking about it. I think you don't have anything to worry about and can just say we are doing another c section.

boymomstrong · March 2014

I was in your shoes, and terrified! Then i found out any time i try to deliver i will end up in a c section, so i planned a RCS and i am going to have a baby friendly one which is immediate skin to skin as soon as baby is out, and this makes me feel better ab it...

The fear is normal and there is no reason to have a VBAC if your not 100% sure you want one...
I would say do some reading and talking to your doc and see how you feel when your pregnant again... You may get twins again and the decision is out of your hands...
Try not to worry to much until you have to!
Good luck!

pinkmickey24 · March 2014

Thanks ladies! @kfdecarie I would like the to have a more baby friendly c-section in the future. When the boys were born, even though they were 37 weeks 5 days, they were immediately whisked away with the NICU team to be examined. Then I got to see them for what feels like ten seconds before they were whisked out the door with DH to be weighed and measured, while I was being stitched up.

mdiblasi10 · March 2014

If I stay with my OB and hospital, I have to have a repeat c-section, so while I do have a choice, I don't want to take the risk. I can understand your fears. No matter which path you end up on for delivery, I think some fears are normal. Best wishes for your DH's job!

mcgeeva · March 2014

I would feel the sane. I was 100% against cs until it wasn't an option last time. Since I had one I was so fearful of vaginal I wasn't even interested. Now after my cs this week I'm curious about vagunsl bc the cs freaked me out. So I think either way you will always have fears.

ccam · March 2014

My OB wil not do a vbac so I will definitely be a RCS if we have a second. Although another c-section makes me nervous, I could definitely see where you're coming from. The thought of going through all I went through last time and then ending up with a c-section scares the crap out of me. I'm perfectly fine with a RCS. I would think that you could request that if you wanted to go that route.

nawlinsgrl · March 2014

I had no interest in a VBAC after my first experience too. My water broke, but labor didn't progress, so they gave me pitocin, which resulted in very painful contractions until I finally got my epidural. After almost 10 hours on pitocin, I failed to progress past 5 cm and DD's hear rate kept dropping with increased doses, so the doctor pushed (pardon the pun) for a CS. He later said the problem was her (big) head was stuck.

I was happy I got to experience some of the experience of a vaginal, even though I never did push, but honestly, I had been very nervous about giving birth vaginally, and about halfway through my pregnancy, out of nowhere, just had this thought that I'd end up having a CS, for some reason out of my control, and sure enough, there it was.

When I got pregnant with DS a few months later, I was all for the RCS, and lucky for me it was a non-issue given I failed all 3 "tests" to determine candidacy for a VBAC: age (I was 40, and either over 35 or 40, I forget which, is a negative indicator), length of time between deliveries (14 months), and reason for initial CS. My OB was 100% on board with my decision, and I personally think he was relieved he didn't have to convince me to do an RCS.

It was a much easier experience this time, since I didn't have to deal with the exhausting hours of attempted labor first. I went in for my weekly check, was told I was 100% effaced and 3cm, which got me a ticket to L&D for my RCS before I went into active labor. My OB came over at lunch and we got DS. I was very pleased with my decision, and would do it again in a heartbeat!

Ruthie04 · March 2014

MrsLee04 said:
I think any fears/thoughts are normal. Personally, if I were to have another I would have the opposite fear.....I hated having a c-section, and I would do anything to avoid another one. But everyone has a different experience and thoughts on it.

Same for me. I was so fearful about delivering twins vaginally and having something happen to Baby b (they both had IUGR). I could have tried for a vag, but I caved and did a c/s. The experience itself was very easy and great. However, my recovery was awful and it took me nearly a year to feel back to normal. I still have a good bit of pelvic pain from suspected adhesions. It's awful. If we were lucky enough to conceive #3, I would push for a VBAC, knowing there is a very realistic chance for a RCS.

MoFree · March 2014

I was not afraid of having a CS because that was the only safe option at the time. My overall birth experience was not positive, the method if birth being only one factor.
If I am fortunate enough to deliver another baby, I would not use a doctor who routinely does a RCS. Doctors are trained a certain way and it has been my experience that they greatly overstate the risks of VBAC. I will shop around for an OB or midwife who will consider VBAC because the reason for my CS does not preclude future vaginal delivery.

pinkmickey24 · March 2014

Thanks ladies for keeping it real and that is what I was looking for. It is nice to know that the fear is normal. I am pretty sure my OB is pro VBAC based on the few conversations we have had since the boys birth. I am pretty sure the OB who did my c-section said he did a double bikini stitch, but I could be wrong because I was out of it from already having low iron at the time of delivery and losing over half of my blood during delivery which resulted in a blood transfusion shortly after. (Sorry if that is an over share of information.) This pretty much made anything people said to me a total blur because it was definitely the strangest feeling I've ever had. It felt like an out of body experience, but I also think the pain medicine contributed to that feeling also. There are definitely pros and cons to everything in life and I will further talk about it with my OB.

It is looking good for DH and the new job. He goes for a second interview on Friday.

boymomstrong · March 2014

Hooray hubby!!!

and good luck!

jesselayne8 · March 2014

I wanted a VBAC soooo badly. In fact I barely thought about anything past labor in regards to having a second child. My OBs were supportive. I scheduled a RCS for 4 days after by due date as a back up. Well that day came and I cried in the shower, I cried on the way to hospital, I cried in the waiting room etc. I was so disappointed about not getting another chance to try. So my OB agreed to induce me. Well it ended in another csection but I do not regret it for a second. I am not sure I would have gotten over it if I didn't try. Both my sections were for failure to progress. Do whatever feels right for you.

Dragonfly1226 · March 2014

Hi there! It is so good to see you over here.

I think your fears are completely normal. You had a rough delivery experience last time, and it is only natural to be apprehensive this time too. The good news is that you have tons of time to talk to your OB about your fears. I know that I am not a VBAC candidate since my internal incision had to be made vertical and it reaches pretty high up. Apparently A was in a weird position and also just didn't want to come out. Anyway. I don't know if we want yo try for a fourth, but the fact that I would have to have another c section weighs heavily on my mind. I had a very difficult recovery with K&A and am scared of going through that with three kids at home. It was hard enough with just one.

pinkmickey24 · March 2014

@Dragonfly1226 Hey! How is everyone feeling? I know your family all seemed to have a rough patch of not feeling well at the same time a week or so ago.

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