I love visitors but...

BTBergstrom · March 2014

This was our first weekend home so all the visitors came rolling through. I am exhausted! Last night was so rough and we had three different sets of visitors today. I barely got a one hour nap and had to speed race through two feedings. I felt so bad pulling her off! I am hoping for no visitors this week besides maybe my mom or mil. Anyone else over all the visitors!

fish8412 · March 2014

Ugh that sounds miserable. You need to get some rest! The only visitors we have had are my parents and our friend that did newborn photos. My parents only stop by for an hour or so at a time. They understand we are sleep deprived and need to rest. I hope your mom and MIL are understanding!

jwls84 · March 2014

I Just say no to visitors. I don't really care if people get mad. I have to adjust to this new life, the baby needs to adjust and my 2 yr old needs to adjust. Visitors kind of throw a wrench in the system.
Also don't feel obligated to rush through a feeding! Visitors can wait, your LO beds to eat and cuddle with mama!

KariB509 · March 2014

Yes! FIL actually got pissed at us because he didn't get to see HIS granddaughter soon enough. Really?! We just flipping had a baby!!! We're exhausted! I know everyone really wants to see the new baby but have some respect--visitors are exhausting and mess up any sort of routine you're trying you're very hardest to establish.

BTBergstrom · March 2014

Yea lesson learned for sure this is our first and the first grand kid really on both sides...so all the family has been rolling through I wish I would have said no! Next time!

ladyglittersparkles · March 2014

We've had so many visitors.
I'm so tired of visitors. Especially those who over stay.
Hoping for no visitors for a few days.
I'm over it

sebullows · March 2014

I HATE VISITORS. Especially ones that look at your baby in the eyes and say, "I'll be by here every day after work this week to see you!" No. You won't.

Laceybachman · March 2014

I feel like visitors ruined my first few days home with him. Mil and bil came and stayed and they are the type that need entertaining and don't help at all. And I was trying to bf and also felt bad taking him away from people when it was time to eat. I cried and cried the night before DH had to go back to work because I felt like his time off was spent entertaining his family and not bonding with his new family.

Learned my lesson for next time..... NO visitors for at least a week!!!

carrieandtim · March 2014

I'm okay with some visitors, but it's really tough when it's at nap time. The other day our daycare provider stopped by to drop off dinner - SO thankful - but DD and DS were napping and I could have been too! Hard to know that'll happen....

kare_bear_12 · March 2014

I had a revolving door the first week and it was awful. My parents and brother and wife all stayed over for the week. I love them but never got sleep or got to know my lo very well since being passed around so much.

Kewii · March 2014

We've told everyone to stay away unless invited. My husband's mother and sister showed up right when I was brought to my room and was trying to breastfeed for the first time and he kicked them out.

We've told everyone else that maybe this weekend we'd be ready for short visits. Maybe.

SomersIsles · March 2014

This may be an issue for us too. We have a very large network of very close friends and it's typical for EVERYONE to come to the hospital to visit. I know my room will hardly be empty once we begin allowing visitors. My one hesitation is how it will affect me starting on the right foot with breastfeeding... But I guess I will just have to take LO back as often as necessary and cover up with my bed sheets. My friends are so close they won't complain

pepperedmoth · March 2014

My midwives recommended that we tell everyone to not come at all unless they're going to do dishes/laundry/bring food, and even then to limit visits to 15 minutes (exceptions to be made for support people whom I designate!)

They gave me a sign to hang on my door saying all of that very nicely as if it was coming from them not me and signed "your friendly local midwives" so they can be the bad guys, not me!

Even if your midwives/doctors don't literally give you those instructions on a sign, I think this is white lie territory and you can say "my OB said no visits more than 15 minutes."

pepperedmoth · March 2014

@Jennibeanjld‌ here is the sign they gave me:

mevensen · March 2014

I am so sick of people wanting to come see Emma. I get it it, it's a baby and it's exciting, but can't it be on my terms? Don't call and say your coming over. Call and ask if you can come over. When I tell youn I need to feed Emma that's cue for go home. It's been over 2 hours you've been here long enough!

Stephout · March 2014

I admit, I knew I would feel this way even before the baby came. I DID undervalue overnight help. If we do this again I would probably make my mom take off a week. But even that help, as needed as it was, stressed me out because I would be in the room and my mom is so SLOW. Diaper changing does not need to be a 5 minute production when he is shrieking.

Even the people that do things stress me out because I am an introvert and company is exhausting. Two sets of DH'S family are each visiting over the next 2 weekends and I am scared for my sanity.

fish8412 · March 2014

mevensen said:
I am so sick of people wanting to come see Emma. I get it it, it's a baby and it's exciting, but can't it be on my terms? Don't call and say your coming over. Call and ask if you can come over. When I tell youn I need to feed Emma that's cue for go home. It's been over 2 hours you've been here long enough!

Yeah I had a few friends text me last week saying they are coming over to visit. I could never imagine inviting myself over to someone's house that just had a baby a week ago!!! I texted them back saying we aren't ready for visitors and we would let them know when we are ready.

mevensen · March 2014

fish8412 said:

mevensen said:
I am so sick of people wanting to come see Emma. I get it it, it's a baby and it's exciting, but can't it be on my terms? Don't call and say your coming over. Call and ask if you can come over. When I tell youn I need to feed Emma that's cue for go home. It's been over 2 hours you've been here long enough!
Yeah I had a few friends text me last week saying they are coming over to visit. I could never imagine inviting myself over to someone's house that just had a baby a week ago!!! I texted them back saying we aren't ready for visitors and we would let them know when we are ready.

People just don't get it. I even had a friend get upset because Emma and I didn't want to come over to her house for a "girls night" when she was two weeks old.

kaking78 · March 2014

Still have an inside baby, but thanks for the heads up. We're planning a "meet the baby" cookout for sometime in late April/early May. I figure by then he'll still be cute and we'll have our act together a little more by then. I've told all of my local friends this already so hopefully most of them take the hint and are content to wait until the party. Besides, both sets of grandparents will also be rotating through for the first month to help out so the house is going to be crowded until then anyway.

farmrose · March 2014

kaking78 said:
Still have an inside baby, but thanks for the heads up. We're planning a "meet the baby" cookout for sometime in late April/early May. I figure by then he'll still be cute and we'll have our act together a little more by then. I've told all of my local friends this already so hopefully most of them take the hint and are content to wait until the party. Besides, both setsso of grandparents will also be rotating through for the first month to help out so the house is going to be crowded until then anyway.

I still have an inside baby, but I've been thinking about setting up a meet the baby open house type thing later to help minimize the early visitors too. Mostly people are local-ish 1.5 hrs away so they don't have to travel really. But the thought of unwelcome/uninvited visitors stresses me out already. I love hosting events and I feel like I'm going to feel I need to host/entertain and I don't want that kind of pressure for a while. I plan on severely limiting visits at first. We'll have grandparents and our siblings visit at the hospital, and then they can wait a while to visit us at home. Everybody can deal.

clo1982 · March 2014

I guess me and dh just don't have an issue with confrontation because we have had no issues. At the hospital if family was coming in they were told to text before coming into the birthing center floor and if I was nursing they could go to the cafe or wait somewhere else until we were done. Now at home we kind of have a similar thing to text us before coming to see if it's a good time. But I also have no issue handing off the baby and going to take a nap or anything else so that may also make a difference. If someone visits, they should count on me either taking a break, eating, napping or doing house things while they hold the baby or they can play with dd. no one is safe from helping out at my house!!

matitice · March 2014

Weekday visitors are always welcome only because it's just me & LO & generally it's one of my friends or my parents & they generally stay for no more than 45 minutes. But I'm completely over weeknight & weekend visitors. Between family members coming out of the woodwork to see baby & MIL wanting to come over after work a few times a week or on Sundays ALL THE TIME I'm so tired of seeing people! I want our family of 4 to get into a routine & back to normal life during our time when we're all home together but it hasn't happened yet. I need to get DH better about telling people (mainly his mother) NO!

SomersIsles · March 2014

bandteacher said:
I totally blame my milk supply issues on the crazy number of visits we allowed in the hospital. I was only expressing colostrum like, 3 or 4 times a day. No wonder I'm screwed.

This is totally my fear!! I'm curious how often one should be trying to feed a one/two day old...

jwls84 · March 2014

SomersIsles said:

bandteacher said:
I totally blame my milk supply issues on the crazy number of visits we allowed in the hospital. I was only expressing colostrum like, 3 or 4 times a day. No wonder I'm screwed.
This is totally my fear!! I'm curious how often one should be trying to feed a one/two day old...

They had me feeding her every 3-4hrs and when MH family came they brought everyone including SIL's boyfriend. I must've said about 10 times ok I have to feed her and they just ignored me.
I took so long for them the get the hint I just couldn't understand how much more obvious I had to be!

Kewii · March 2014

jwls84 said:

I totally blame my milk supply issues on the crazy number of visits we allowed in the hospital. I was only expressing colostrum like, 3 or 4 times a day. No wonder I'm screwed.
This is totally my fear!! I'm curious how often one should be trying to feed a one/two day old...
They had me feeding her every 3-4hrs and when MH family came they brought everyone including SIL's boyfriend. I must've said about 10 times ok I have to feed her and they just ignored me. I took so long for them the get the hint I just couldn't understand how much more obvious I had to be!

That's so rude. I totally would've just pulled my boob out and made them uncomfortable. You know, stare at them uncomfortably as I did so.

Brich3321 · March 2014

We had a revolving door this weekend and it ended up making us kind of miserable. Baby did great but it also caused even more anxiety for our dog. We are happy it's the week and no visitors for a while!!

myfriendscallmemeg · March 2014

A friend of mine told me that she liked people visiting at the hospital better than visiting at home since 1- there's hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE, and since they're in a hospital, they think to use it.
2- They're less likely to get comfy in your hospital room than on your couch, so visits stay shorter.

I'll be honest, I'm not really worried about having too many visitors. Mainly since our only friends are family, and to me, having a baby is kind of a family event. And I'm pretty sure my family is going to bring me dinner! I love anyone who provides meals.

amdecker1016 · March 2014

@bandteacher‌ i agree. My mil and bil being here i feel that has hindered my milk supply.
I mean i fed her when she was hungry but we couldn't be all comfortable and relaxed about it. I feel i had to hurry and get her latched and whatnot.

aga60154 · March 2014

Same here ... So disappointed in people. Some wouldn't even text.

SomersIsles said:

I totally blame my milk supply issues on the crazy number of visits we allowed in the hospital. I was only expressing colostrum like, 3 or 4 times a day. No wonder I'm screwed.
This is totally my fear!! I'm curious how often one should be trying to feed a one/two day old...

CruiseGirl28 · March 2014

I still have an inside baby, but DH already put his foot down. My grandma and aunts were saying that I shouldn't have visitors in the hospital, and he agreed. He is also putting his foot down about social media, which is awesome.

Want a personalized experience?

I love visitors but...

Re: I love visitors but...

Choose Another Board

Search Boards