Weigh in?

portentosa · March 2014

Hi Parenting!!

I don't post here often but I thought I'd ask if anyone here would care to weigh in on this one...
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12289577/warning-sensitive-subject-ethics-morals-re-tay-sachs#latest

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I need a summary.

portentosa · March 2014

*OP came on asking for advice as she's a carrier of Tay-Sachs.

*We responded with love and support. Generally advising her to wait on any decision to terminate or not after her H and LO are tested. We also said there is no right or wrong answer for such a terrible choice.

*She came back demanding a debate and likened Tay-Sachs to other diagnosable things like Down Syndrome.

*We all got upset. Some have even been in this terrible postition and had to make a choice. Some are just getting their genetic test results back now and are faced with this choice.

*She 'apologized' but still wants to debate.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Tell her to come debate it here.

We'll debate it with her. We're good at that.

portentosa · March 2014

CinemaGoddess said:

Tell her to come debate it here.

We'll debate it with her. We're good at that.

Thanks! I'll have to send her a PM. Our Mod just closed the thread.

Edit: @Nickielachickie Since our mod just closed your thread and you said you really wanted to debate this topic here perhaps is a more suitable audience for your debate topic. Those of us just coming out of First Tri and getting our testing back are not interested. SorryNotSorry. Good luck to you and your H with your testing. H&H 9 months. Bye.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I think it's a solid debate topic, but ill-timed.

vandelay · March 2014

I think "debate" is such an odd choice of words for this topic. To me, a debate is a discussion in which people advance their respective positions as being right, and argue that opposing positions are wrong. And I just don't think there is a right or wrong when it comes to this question -- it's an extremely personal choice. Plus, although I think I know what I would do in a given situation, I haven't been there, so I truly don't know. If the question were "What factors would you consider when faced with this choice?" then I think it would make more sense.

MrsCodeMonkey · March 2014

This whole thing sounds quite insensitive. It's up to every couple to decide what's best for their family.

vandelay · March 2014

PrivacyWanted said:

It really strikes me as if she's completing/copying something from academic coursework. I know a few people who have faced such a difficult decision, I don't know a single one who has asked "which is more ethical"? It's usually "what's the right thing to do?" Or "i don't know what to do, help!"

If that's the case and she's falsely representing herself as actually facing this dilemma, that would be all sorts of fucked up.

MrsCodeMonkey · March 2014

vandelay said:

PrivacyWanted said:

It really strikes me as if she's completing/copying something from academic coursework. I know a few people who have faced such a difficult decision, I don't know a single one who has asked "which is more ethical"? It's usually "what's the right thing to do?" Or "i don't know what to do, help!"

If that's the case and she's falsely representing herself as actually facing this dilemma, that would be all sorts of fucked up.

I guess it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened. Either way, wrong place for it.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I think it's possible to debate this. It is personal choice, but you can still debate the topic at hand.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I will LOL if this thread turns into a debate about debating.

virgin4lyfe · March 2014

So is she like that one weird troll who came in and asked a bunch of questions for a paper back a while?
It's terrible to think someone would represent themselves like that if they're only looking for a debate for an ethics class... but I feel like things that like have happened before

vandelay · March 2014

CinemaGoddess said:

I will LOL if this thread turns into a debate about debating.

It's Parentingception.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Preppy from BOTB did something like this once, right?

Who remembers that? @whocanitbenow ?

portentosa · March 2014

Thank you ladies for your thoughts on this post. I'm glad that this discussion has left my BMB now as it did cause some of the Sept14 moms a lot of pain. If the OP follows my tag and decides to get a debate going here then more power to her.

I personally don't feel it is a debatable topic. A debate kinda requires a right and a wrong and I fear people debating such a topic would cause a lot of hurt for those that have been or are in this situation. It's a painful topic that is deeply personal. Our BMB was a terrible place to try to hold such a discussion, especially coming out of first tri.

vandelay would be a better way of going about this discussion and I don't mind being a part of that....over here.

edit: Well no. I guess the point of a debate is some people find one side right and another side wrong. So it IS in that sense debatable. But I find it insensitive to debate something so personal and painful.

RayRay007 · March 2014

That is a weird post. It doesn't sound like it's from someone actually going through it.

portentosa · March 2014

SpoofLeJones said:

I'm not sure why you brought this over to Parenting. It was a sensitive topic on our BMB and not one that, IMO, needs to be dragged out. OP is a fucking asshole and doesn't deserve the extra attention for it.

I'm not giving OP more attention. I'm giving her a better audience for the 'debate' she wants to have. I brought it over here before Smiley closed the thread so I was trying to give her a more appropriate outlet for her discussion. The ladies here are more than happy to oblige.

bumpuser10199668 · March 2014

SpoofLeJones said:

SpoofLeJones said:

I'm not sure why you brought this over to Parenting. It was a sensitive topic on our BMB and not one that, IMO, needs to be dragged out. OP is a fucking asshole and doesn't deserve the extra attention for it.

I'm not giving OP more attention. I'm giving her a better audience for the 'debate' she wants to have. I brought it over here before Smiley closed the thread so I was trying to give her a more appropriate outlet for her discussion. The ladies here are more than happy to oblige.
----- And I think it's in poor taste considering the response the topic generated on our BMB. The potential for hurt does not disappear when you leave S14. I'm not opposed to these types of conversations, but the way it was introduced was inappropriate and you ARE bringing extra attention to the OP, whether you intended to or not.

Oh, FFS. If you have a problem with it, then quit responding and bumping this on Parenting and PM Tromb about it.

portentosa · March 2014

Spoof, My very first response to the OP of the thread was to find a better audience for her topic. By the posts I've seen in response to me sharing the original thread my opinion is that THIS is a better audience. Yes, the potential for hurt is still present because women that have and will go through this are probably here too, but at the time of posting Smiley was still asking for love tits to close the thread and someone who had JUST found out their Sept baby has Downs had just read the thread.

I'm so sorry the way I went about getting that topic OFF Sept14 was inappropriate to you. I don't think it was. I lurk and post here and I thought this was a better forum for OP's discussion.

portentosa · March 2014

Carm is not a WK and I do not need one, thanks.

Agree to disagree. Cool. Bye.

bumpuser10199668 · March 2014

Sorry, Parenting. S14 doesn't always hijack (too soon?) boards with nonsense, but when we do....we make sure it is absolutely dumb as fuck nonsense. Please don't boot me from lurking your club for bumping this one more time.

portentosa · March 2014

I heart you Carm.

And a peace offering to Parenting for what just happened in this thread.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Are we going to debate this topic or what?

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

I really do think Josh Hutcherson is hotter than Liam Hemsworth.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Josh Hutcherson is adorbs.

He is also, apparently, not a Cheater McCheaterface like Liam.

So there's that.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Personality is directly related to hotness.

Which is why just looking at Benny makes people think he's just some ugly ass dude with weird eyes.

Then he opens his mouth and he says things and you're all "GUH." followed by /sploosh

I feel the same about Liam and Josh. Liam is cute until he opens his mouth and then you're like "Wait, whut?" and Josh has the Benny effect where he's not traditionally cute then he does something, like share an interview with JLaw and you're like "OMG HE'S ADORABLE AS FUCK."

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

Mackalien13 said:

I would pick Josh over Liam.

THANK YOU.

CinemaGoddess · March 2014

This is totally something Parenting would do.

meggyski · March 2014

I'm just stopping by to chime in on the Josh vs Liam vote- Team Josh, obviously!

Full disclosure- I've only seem them both in Hunger Games, so for me Team Josh essentially = Team Peeta and Liam = Gayle, and obviously Team Peeta.

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