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February 2014 Moms
MissDemeanor
member
Let's complain about or MIL's (or moms)
MissDemeanor
member
I've noticed how many of us complain about the moms in our lives so I thought it would be fun to all do it together. Or wait, does that make me evil?
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Re: Let's complain about or MIL's (or moms)
It was a crappy sugar filled sip of Tim Hortons smoothie.
I will never get over that. She is still terrible about giving my son sweets and crap. It's yummy, sure. But it's not doing anything good for him, he gets crazy on sugar, so why give it to him?! Ugh. Fuckin woman drives me insane.
Did I mention we just moved to a new city, and she is the ONLY family we have here? Worst ever.
I just spent 10 days alone with her while DH was OOT. I can't even think of where to begin...
that's awful...I'm sorry she doesn't seem more interested/involved
LORELAI: Mom, if I may, I’d like to give you some advice.
EMILY: You would?
LORELAI: You need to develop a defense mechanism for dealing with Grandma.
EMILY: What are you talking about?
LORELAI: You just need a system, a new mindset. Take me, for example.
EMILY: What about you?
LORELAI: Well, I know there are many things in my life you don’t approve of.
EMILY: Like what?
LORELAI: Like this couch.
EMILY: Well, this couch is terrible.
LORELAI: Okay, good – you think the couch is terrible. Now, at one point in my life, you saying a couch that I carefully picked out and had to pay off over eight months is terrible might’ve hurt my feelings, but not anymore.
EMILY: No?
LORELAI: No.
EMILY: Why not?
LORELAI: Because one day, I decided that instead of being hurt and upset by your disapproval, I’m gonna be amused. I’m gonna find it funny. I’m even going to take a little bit of pleasure in it.
EMILY: You take pleasure in my disapproval?
LORELAI: I encourage it sometimes just for a laugh.
EMILY: I don’t know what to think of that.
LORELAI: Think, ‘hey, that’s brilliant’, because this idea could set you free.
[Emily sighs]
LORELAI: Mom, what are you thinking about?
EMILY: That ridiculous Betty Boop head.
LORELAI: [smiles] Mmhmm. So am I.
For instance when she is talking to the baby she will speak in baby voice but indirectly complain about something I am not doing right, e.g, 'oh my poor baby, I know your not feeling good but we can't change your diaper as your mom said she just changed you. I know, I am sorry (insert funny faces)' or she will say, 'aw that bath water was too cold right? Aw you sweet thing, you can't say anything, sorry baby, (insert baby babble)!' Argh drives me nuts but I pretend it doesn't phase me, instead when I have the baby in my arms in front of her I'll do the same just to annoy her, 'aw baby sorry I know grandmas hands are too cold! Come mommy will make you warm (insert kisses)!'
Also, upon arriving to my grandmas funeral this weekend- "so did you time this perfectly?" (Referring to nursing) ah, no mom, I feed the baby when she is hungry. I tried explaining timing to her but she is still working on the concept...
And I really hate, "she's getting busy" in reference to peeing and pooping.
Last my mom hates that I work. Hates it. Oh well, bills gotta get paid!!
She STILL does it and her kid is 3.
Listen Grandma do wtf you want if you are just going to be annoying about it.
She wanted to come back for another visit for Mother's Day and I told her I needed to confirm my return to work date before she finalized the plans. I said this multiple times on the phone and via text. It took 2 days to confirm info with work and when I called to tell her I'm returning on May 12 and Mother's Day was not a good weekend for me, she replied that she had already bought her ticket! I was so pissed and so was DH. I grew a pair and told her she could not come that weekend and she was welcome the weekend before.
She was shocked but said ok and changed her ticket. We will see if the passive agressive comments take over when she's here. She has a history of pushing and pushing til she gets her way and I was glad I stood up for myself.
Mom to Lily and Colin!
She also comments really stupid things on every picture I post on Facebook. I've started deleting some and told DH that if she asks, blame "glitchy Facebook!"
DH will enjoy the Gilmore girls marathon this week, I'm sure.
With DD this time she's just dumb. DD is MSPI and had reflux. So since I ebf I've cut dairy and soy completely and DD is on reflux meds. MIL loves to tell me to quit bf because I'm making O sick. Bite me, she's gained over 3 lbs since birth she's not sick. MIL also told me before my a/s scan she hoped it was another boy because all girls are bitches. Too bad on that one. Guess you're a bitch too lady.
Due to that experience ds 2 is 6 weeks old and mil has not seen him yet. Mil is also not welcome to stay at our house when she comes to town.
She is all kinds of crazy and messed up. I really wish we had a healthy/good relationship.
And on this business of people referring to other people's babies as THEIR babies....to say it pisses me off is an understatement! I think that's so rude!
My mom is super annoying, but like a PP said, she doesn't mean to be and she really tries to help, so I try not to complain.
My Step-MIL also tries, but she's the type that she will only be helpful when it works with her schedule. Like, DH has been out of town for a week and I'm dying and need help, please please can we come over? Sorry, she's tired and we can't come over. It's annoying. But when it DOES work with her schedule, she's really great.
I don't even know where to start with MIL. She teaches pole dancing, posts slutty pictures of herself online, hasn't seen my kids in over 15 months, didn't get DS2 a birthday present, and had a gigantic fit because we got her a fancy coffee mug for Christmas and that wasn't good enough. I could go on. She used to cause major problems in our marriage when we lived in the same city she does. Moving away from her was probably the best thing we ever did for ourselves.
Well, she has to wait even longer (like 2-3 more months) because she had an injury that required surgery a few days ago. She can't bear weight for a long time.... No babysitting. Am I mean for being glad? Not at her pain but that she can't claim my daughter now? Also, she's so doped up on meds that she hasn't said cruel, distasteful things in several days. What a nice break.
Mom to Lily and Colin!
She's not my favorite person but I know she loves the grandkids so I make an effort to be polite and civil with her but we'll never be close friends. Oh well.
What a positive and uplifting outlook on women!
My dad is a piece of work, but that's another thread for another day.
My MIL lives about five minutes away and moved to town to "help us!" But is always too busy to help. Both of our babies have had bad reflux/colic, as did DH, and she always finds a way to tell the baby he/she's "not fussy!" because the baby is usually sleeping for the few minutes she visits. And she is peer pressured by friends so she will come and say things like (with the last baby) "you just didn't try hard enough to breast feed". Helpful. Overall though, she has helped to an extent. I think she's also scared of me, which means she doesn't say everything she's thinking. That's for the best.
My mom treats my dad like a child - I think she thinks all men are helpless and need our nurturing. Also, she's an 80's mom, so she expects women (ie me) to be superheroes and do everything without complaining or asking for help. It blew her mind when I told her DH does his own ironing.
She has had a hard time letting go of her 38 year old boy. She likes to remind him that "they" were his family first when referring to her husband and herself. I have never tried to make them feel like they are no longer his family so I am not sure where that is coming from.
His parents visit almost every other day since having LO. When they come over I get the worst anxiety. My Mil likes to take control and give directions/suggestions and tell everyone how to and when to do everything. It's super annoying. My husband made a sarcastic comment that he got his need for control from his father. Everyone laughed except MIL, she was pissed. She was saying I am not controlling I am just helpful and organized. I playfully said I disagree and she was so mad I am surprised she didn't burn a hole in my couch. Needless to say they left shortly after.
Two weeks ago I over heard my husband on the phone with her and she was grilling him on our finances and when I was going back to work and who is going to be watching the baby and asking how much they will be paid. Nosey is not a strong enough word I would use to describe her. He ended up telling her none of this is your business. She was over the other night so now she thought she would try to pry the info out of me. I told her i am not sure when I plan on returning to work. She then said cause I could babysit (over my dead body). Last time my oldest son's room got rearranged and she had gone through stuff in my bed room. I replied with thanks but I think 1:30 in the morning would be to late for you.
I could go on for days but this is just some stuff from the past few weeks.
I have discussed with them how we are CD from the beginning, no disposables ect ect. I just got 5 Costco boxes of disposables from then with a note stating they know I will eventually give up with all the effort CD needs.
Love you to mom and dad. Thanks for the support.
Oh the possibilities... Maybe I will hide them from DH, he would be mortified by that idea. Momma deserves something that shines.