Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ikrystal
member
Re: Anyone here that has had Chorio?
I was active after losing my son a year ago, and lurk from time to time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your boys. I lost my son at 23.5 weeks. I went to the hospital after losing my mucus plug and was on bedrest for 5 days before my water broke and I went into labor. They found chorio. My OB said chorio was the cause of my loss. I consulted with 2 mfms and they said it was Incompetent Cervix, and the chorio was secondary. I got a transabdominal cerclage 2 months after my loss and got pregnant again 3 months after my loss. My daughter was born in December at 38 weeks. I did not have any infection or issues with her pregnancy, but had the cerclage. I'm not sure if you have a plan for your next pregnancy, but I'd suggest at least cervical scans. They're not invasive and ptl and chorio can often result from Incompetent Cervix.
I hope that helps! It's such a scary process but you can do it, and it's great that you're trying to learn as much as you can before.
I did, I believe you and I may have spoken about it in a thread a couple of weeks back. There are four doctors in my practice, two of them believe in IC and are pro-cerclage, the other two are not. Because the two pro-cerclage docs are my main doctors (and because I wanted to actually do something this time around instead of just hope and pray) I got a cerclage at 14 weeks this time around. I never had any significant shortening or funneling and I am now 3 weeks out from having my cerclage removed, and no significant sign of labor...so this time it's like a have a cervix of steel.
My doctors who are pro-cerclage do admit they can't say for sure that my PTL was or wasn't due to chorio, but they feel it could have been due to IC so why make me potentially go through another devastating loss when there is something they can try to prevent it, whereas the other doctors answer is "it probably won't happen again". Probably isn't good enough when it comes to my child's life.
They lean a little toward the chorio, because like you said, I did have contractions, which are usually absent with IC. Plus they never got to observe any shortening before hand because I had no warning signs or history of it (first pregnancy) so that is another reason they cannot say for sure it was IC...I just came into L&D at 22 weeks with intense menstrual like cramps, I was dilated to 4 and my water was leaking. But like I said, my doctors wanted to be proactive, and there is no real harm in doing a cerclage, at least early on, the risks are quite low. In my doctor's words, she sees no reason for me to ever go through another pregnancy without a cerclage, just in case.
I am no doctor, but based on what I've been told, I think I did have IC. I think the chorio also played a part, which is why I was contracting, but I think the IC came first, and the chorio was secondary. I think the reason my cervix did so well this time was due to the cerclage, and at this point having the cerclage out isn't going to automatically send me into labor since my pelvis is now supporting the weight versus just my cervix.
One main reason I feel so strongly that my loss was due to IC and not primarily to the chorio is, everyone I know that experienced a loss that was thought to be due to IC was between 18 and 23 weeks. It makes sense that at that point, the cervix, if incompetent, cannot support the weight of the baby anymore. But even the doctors who do not believe in IC cannot explain why chorio would so commonly affect women during this gestational period. I mean, what is it about being 18 to 23 weeks that would make a woman get chorio?
Sorry for the novel, it just makes me angry that some doctors won't even consider other possibilities, and just bank on the fact that "it probably won't happen again". That's fine and dandy for statistics, but we are all real people whose lives were turned upside down when we lost our babies, and saying that statistically it won't happen again is not enough IMO. I am 39 weeks 1 day and my induction (I have GD) is scheduled for Tuesday. Good luck with TTC soon and big hugs, pgal is so hard, but I am proof a successful pregnancy after chorio and/or IC is possible.
My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks. Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)