C-sec mamas: if your SO is squeamish

ksulli · March 2014

With DD we managed a vaginal delivery despite shoulder displaysia, and I'm still hoping for vaginal on round 2, but seeing as subsequent babies tend to larger, I'm aware that a c-sec may turn out to be needed. Here's the issue: DH is super squeamish... sympathetic puker and all that. How'd yours do? How can I help him prep?

Bluebird2318 · March 2014

DH isn't particularly squeamish, but he walked in right as they had made the incision so he definitely saw all the gross stuff. I don't envy him that experience!

That being said, I don't think for the most part it should be an issue. They have your DH sit right up by your head and you are mostly covered by a surgical sheet as far as I remember, so chances are he's not going to see anything crazy unless he's trying to. I am fairly squeamish and I found that what helped me avoid thinking about it was to focus all my attention on the conversation I was having with DH. I talked to him the entire time the surgery was being done; there wasn't a spare second to think about what was going on and it really helped. I imagine that could help from his perspective as well.

homediva · March 2014

Agree, hubby will be on the other side of the sheet and can choose to just focus on you!

My husband is actually a doctor so he was watching the whole thing. He's seen more of me than I have, LOL! Squeamish husband is no laughing matter though - I know someone whose husband fainted during the birth and suffered a serious head injury!

ksulli · March 2014

@homediva‌ that's my concern- my dad passed out when my sister was born (c-sec), and he needed more medical attention than my mom!

"stay behind the curtain" is all we've come up with so far, and sounds like it may be the best/only option.

homediva · March 2014

@ksulli Maybe you could kind of lock eyes and breathe through it - you could try practicing that at home kind of like how you would practice breathing through a contraction. It would feel silly but could help! Maybe asking to play music would help ease the anxiety level too.

ksulli · March 2014

The irony of this conversation is just dawning on me. I will be on a table literally being cut open, and I sit here worried about getting my H through it. I'm such a good wife.

Tferr02 · March 2014

I wish my DH was slightly squeamish. He took pics during it, yup I have pics of my stomach cut open and DS coming out. It is definitely possible to stay behind the sheet and focus on you, it goes really fast.

homediva · March 2014

LOL I was thinking that too, we are wired as women and moms to think about others we love to the point where we are even making sure they are OK when we are being sliced open!

Bluebird2318 · March 2014

It's okay, @ksulli! Sometimes we just have to accept that we are badasses and it's the husbands that need a little hand-holding.

With regards to what you said about not looking over the curtain being the best/only option, I'm kind of at that point too. I'm having a hard time coming up with anything he could do beforehand to specifically prepare for it, save for some sort of mental relaxation techniques. The best I can come up with is still just have him keep himself mentally occupied the whole time (preferably by talking to you, because that gets you through it as well) and not let his mind wander to the surgery.

fourthnlast · March 2014

My DH is normally a squeamish guy, hates that kind of stuff, but he has always watched every step of the c-section. He said it's the weirdest, grosses thing ever and he'll never be the same, but he also can't NOT watch lol.

ksulli · March 2014

@fourthnlast‌- your H might have some issues...

fourthnlast · March 2014

ksulli said:

@fourthnlast‌- your H might have some issues...

True story.

snowclouds · March 2014

When he walks by you, to go be with baby tell him not to look! DH says that was the most scarring sight he's ever seen.

They see nothing when it's happening, but when they take baby out and take care of baby it's not at your head so if he looks he'll see your insides.

ksulli · March 2014

@poru he did alright with that, stayed north of the border and didn't look. I had a D&C after a mmc which he didn't handle well- but with that I was put under and he (obviously) wasn't in the OR.

AcaAwkward · March 2014

DH is very squeamish! He doesn't even want to cut the cord if I have a VBAC this time. He stayed on my side of the sheet until DD was born and then he had to walk past the whole shebang to go see her on the examination table. He literally put both hands up like little kids do to make "blinders" so he wouldn't see anything. Once he saw her though, it was pretty much tunnel vision!

I do remember asking the nurse anesthetist about a smell at the beginning of surgery and she said "oh that's the cauterization of your arteries" and DH turned green and was like "OMG"...to which I responded "man the fuck up, please." Everyone had a good laugh and it dispersed some of his tension!

RedDawnsRevenge · March 2014

DH survived very well. He's the type that will pass out if he sees his own blood. DH even watched me puke and neither passed out nor puked. They have a big curtain up so you don't see any blood or guts, but there was plenty of blood at home.

Teresa1896 · March 2014

Maybe he'll surprise you! My DH faints when he sees blood (he says only his own, but I was still worried about childbirth). And he did great! He watched my episiotomy, the epi, and all the blood and goo.

But if you're really worried, be sure to tell your nurse in the OR that your DH may need a chair, just in case. I told everyone to keep an eye on my DH, too.

beautifulstr13 · March 2014

DH is very squeamish when it comes to blood or open wounds. He wouldn't faint or vomit but he would rather not see it. We had the same worry during our c-section with DS. Our plan was for him to stay on my side of the curtain and not look until it was over. He didn't even want to cut the cord because he thought it was gross. Well, none of that turned out the way we planned. They keep him out of the room while they are prepping me and are supposed to bring him in right before surgery starts. They forget him in the hallway! So by the time they got him the surgery had already started and he had to walk right by me. They also lowered the curtain and made him look as they pulled DS out. Then he went and cut the cord. He kept his cool the whole time. I think he was so distracted by what was happening he didn't have a chance to get grossed out.

MapleLeafMama · March 2014

In the same vein as this thread, depending on where your DH is standing or sitting during a vaginal birth, they can see a lot too. DH was on my left side during labour and birth, then had to walk around the foot of the bed to get to DS and saw my lady bits, fresh from childbirth and in their 3rd degree tear glory. He didn't faint but I swear he was in shock,

AbbyPug19 · March 2014

My H didn't look, he stood next to me in the other dude of the curtain. I kept asking him what he could see and he said nothing. I would have wanted to see lol.

Medic99 · March 2014

At my hospital they do not let the Dad watch or stand up during the c-section. They have had too many guys pass out. My H is an RN and used to work at the hospital so they let him stand up and watch. It is crazy to think my H has seen my uterus on the outside of my body.....kind of creepy but cool.

ksulli · March 2014

@mummyofsix said:
Some OB's narrate the procedure ("ok ksulli, I have cut through the muscle layer now and I can see the uterus- baby is almost out!!") out of habit.

So just mention it to them and also to the anesthesiologist. S/he will be your BFF during the procedure because they are right there at your head.

YIKES!!! I do not want to hear that. And DH would be out cold on the floor. Good to know.

mrsredmond2011 · March 2014

Ahhhhhhhhh! It's funny actually I'm a nurse and have no problem giving shots or seeing blood but when it's me or someone I care about I almost pass out. When I get blood drawn I can't look and warn the tech before and have a convo during so I'm distracted. At the doctors with my grandma and they gave her a shot and I was almost on the floor! The same shot that I've given to people thousands of times! Ehhhh ridicoulous! Can't imagine being on the table being cut open and awake! Hopefully everything will go smoothly and I won't need a c-section!

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