Which way to face car seat?

Meery82 · February 2014

Meery82 said:

My 16 month old is rear facing and I plan to keep him that way as long as possible. We bought Chicco Nextfits for our cars specifically for this reason. I actually had to argue with my husband about using a car seat that is only for FF, which we received as a baby shower gift. And I owe my knowledge of this topic to the ladies of The Bump. I probably wouldn't have learned the importance of RF otherwise. It doesn't seem to be widespread information and I am grateful for having learned it here.

And then my first comment.

nanabanana06 · February 2014

Ok, I haven't weighed in it all in this thread. It's old and too dang long. However, this really is a balck and white thing. If your child is under 2 and FF you are endangering their life. Sure, it's not illegal, but that doesn't make it right. It's our job to keep them as safe as we possibly can. FF too soon is like saying "Science proves that my child is safest RFing, but I don't care about keeping my kid safe in the car". Proper car seat usage is important and ignoring it when you've seen the information makes you look like you don't care about your childs safety, and kind of a moron.

So, for future reference. The guidelines are: RF till 2-4 years of age or until they outgrow their seat. 5pt harness until 4 year old AND 40lbs AND mature enough (you have no idea how many people don't know the last one). Booster until 8-12 years of age AND 4'9". No front seat until 13.

acbfreire · February 2014

This is not a parenting choice thread, IMO. Safety is a very serious matter. We are traveling with DD to a country where children can legally FF at 1. We are going to bring our car seat and keep her RF because it is safer.
Children cry for different reasons, so I would work on finding out if they have motion sickness, if the sun is bugging them, etc before making a choice to turn them forward.
Just because your LO made it through an unsafe choice, doesn't mean it is ok. I did not ride in baby car seats and I am still alive... The knowledge is out there now, so it is ignorant not to follow it! People get heated because it is a life or death issue!

RoryorHenry? · February 2014

I am a lurker but I just need to post. I am so tired of being judged for turning my 15 month old forward facing. I agree that people should be educated about the dangers of forward facing but this judging gets out of control.

I switched my daughter to forward facing after having done enormous amounts of research and knowing the dangers of forward facing car seats. It was not an easy decision and not one I made lightly so I wish other would respect my choice.

Since birth my daughter has been a car seat screamer- to the point of throwing up. We have tried everything, music, toys, mirrors, sun shades, a parent riding in the back, snacks, and nothing worked. It was a difficult choice but we decided to try forward facing and it was a night and day difference. She is now content and happy on short car rides and we still do our best to avoid long ones.

I fully understand that it is safer from an accident perspective for her to be rear facing. But I also know that I was a very distracted driver when she was rear facing. I truly believe we were in greater danger of getting into an accident because I had a hard time focussing on the road and other drivers when she was screaming.

Even being rear facing in a car seat is taking a risk. Should I judge the person chooses a day care that is closer to work than home because this means they will have more miles in the car? How about judging people take their baby to meet out of town family and friends.... Surely they would be safer staying at home. A baby has never died from not meeting grandma. Don't get me started on vacations or even that extra trip to the store.

At some point we all make decisions about what level of risk is acceptable for the reward. Please respect my educated decision to forward face.

Again, I have no problem putting the information about the dangers of forward facing but stop the judging!!!!!!

And FWIW I am so beyond jealous of people who's babies like the car!

nanabanana06 · February 2014

I'm sorry, but in places that RF till 4-5 years old (aka Sweden) they've gone YEARS without a single infant or toddler fatality. They've had 4 in the last 6 years and those were all due to circumstances where the seat wouldn't of mattered (car on fire or fell into a lake). It really is a case of RFing is better, and FFing is dangerous. When a child can die from a simple 20 MPH crash simply because it was facing the wrong direction is bad. I'm not sorry. I will still judge those that FF too soon. It's something that can literally be the difference between life and death. Think about that next brake check.

ETA I also do feel for those that have to FF due to circumstances. I do. My DD had to be turned around last month due to motion sickness. Her puking got too bad and it was turning into the exorcist back there. So we turned her around even though she could easily go another year or so in her seat. Thankfully we made it til 3 RF.

nanabanana06 · February 2014

Also, for those that haven't seen it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKIeExpDLDA

aimeepigott · February 2014

DS is 15 mos and has been FF since he turned a yr. He was also over 20 lbs. My brother is a police officer in my area and a father so I double checked with him. In WV, you have the 1 yr or 20lbs law. I understand the recommendation, however, we chose to turn him secondary to his legs being cramped. He would fuss and scream as soon as he was put in the seat. He also began putting his feet on the seat and shoving/pushing his car seat. I've had many people inform me of the recommendations, I know them. I made a decision along with my husband and my cop brother. As soon as he was turned around he was my content boy again and returned to napping in the car. Take the seat to your local law enforcement office ask them. Use your mommy judgement! The recommendations are there and it's understandable why, check your laws.

minervacullen · February 2014

aimeepigott said:
DS is 15 mos and has been FF since he turned a yr. He was also over 20 lbs. My brother is a police officer in my area and a father so I double checked with him. In WV, you have the 1 yr or 20lbs law. I understand the recommendation, however, we chose to turn him secondary to his legs being cramped. He would fuss and scream as soon as he was put in the seat. He also began putting his feet on the seat and shoving/pushing his car seat. I've had many people inform me of the recommendations, I know them. I made a decision along with my husband and my cop brother. As soon as he was turned around he was my content boy again and returned to napping in the car. Take the seat to your local law enforcement office ask them. Use your mommy judgement! The recommendations are there and it's understandable why, check your laws.

It's also legal to drop out of school and marry your cousin...

https://csftl.org/rear-facing-car-seat-myths-busted/

SquishyMommy1 · February 2014

My 6 year old is still rearfacing #rearfaceuntilhighschool

NWalker0910 · March 2014

I know some of you will not read this, and some will. But as I'm sitting here next to my husband who has been a firefighter for 15 years, and reading some comments on this thread. He started getting angry. He started getting angry at the fact that people will continue to RF till 3,4,5. He said you should go by the manufactures specifications. Weight, height, age all have to do with it. If you keep your child RF way past the weight and height limit your putting your child in more danger that way than having them in a FF position. In my opinion you know what's best for your child. My child at 18 months is FF. Why? Because I trust my husband who has seen children in wrecks thousands of times and actually been there and learned from experience. My child's safety is my first priority. So before some moms call me out on FF my 18 month old. At least I'm not putting her in danger because she's past the height and weight limit being RF. Also, my husband is a car seat safety technician for the Fd.

jess9802 · March 2014

NWalker0910 said:

I know some of you will not read this, and some will. But as I'm sitting here next to my husband who has been a firefighter for 15 years, and reading some comments on this thread. He started getting angry. He started getting angry at the fact that people will continue to RF till 3,4,5. He said you should go by the manufactures specifications. Weight, height, age all have to do with it. If you keep your child RF way past the weight and height limit your putting your child in more danger that way than having them in a FF position. In my opinion you know what's best for your child. My child at 18 months is FF. Why? Because I trust my husband who has seen children in wrecks thousands of times and actually been there and learned from experience. My child's safety is my first priority. So before some moms call me out on FF my 18 month old. At least I'm not putting her in danger because she's past the height and weight limit being RF. Also, my husband is a car seat safety technician for the Fd.

Read your car seat manual. Most convertible seats would allow an average-sized 18 month old to sit rear facing. Which is of course in line with the recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which recommends rear-facing until at least the age of two. And then there's the National Highway Safety Transportation Administration, which recommends children ride rear-facing until the top height or weight limit allowed by your car seat’s manufacturer.

Unless your 18 month old is unusually tall or heavy, there is almost certainly a car seat that could accommodate your daughter rear facing, which is demonstrably safer at her age than being forward facing.

jess9802 · March 2014

I have to add, it seems almost laughable to me that @NWalker0910 's husband has seen "children in wrecks thousands of times" where a child over the age of one was inappropriately rear-facing and injured as a result. Rear-facing beyond the age of one has only been an official recommendation of the AAP and the NHTSA for less than four years, and I daresay it is not widely known and even less widely practiced.

Yes, inappropriate or unsafe use of a car seat can be dangerous and result in injuries to a child, but the evidence is there to show that rear-facing is safer for children under the age of two, and that parents should buy car seats that fit by height and weight for that very purpose.

laurelita42 · March 2014

nanabanana06 · March 2014

My daughter is almost 4 and still has inches to go in her seat as well as 10lbs left for the RF requirement of her seat. I just got my CPST certification and it's people like your husband that make my job more difficult. RF is better until 4 years of age. Science and physics prove this. Picking a seat that allows RFing until that age is best. Nobody here that advocates ERF are using their seats past the RF requirements. Your husband probably isn't a real certified tech, or he'd know otherwise. This is why you only go to CPST certified technitians rather than your local firestation.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

NWalker0910 said:

I know some of you will not read this, and some will. But as I'm sitting here next to my husband who has been a firefighter for 15 years, and reading some comments on this thread. He started getting angry. He started getting angry at the fact that people will continue to RF till 3,4,5. He said you should go by the manufactures specifications. Weight, height, age all have to do with it. If you keep your child RF way past the weight and height limit your putting your child in more danger that way than having them in a FF position. In my opinion you know what's best for your child. My child at 18 months is FF. Why? Because I trust my husband who has seen children in wrecks thousands of times and actually been there and learned from experience. My child's safety is my first priority. So before some moms call me out on FF my 18 month old. At least I'm not putting her in danger because she's past the height and weight limit being RF. Also, my husband is a car seat safety technician for the Fd.

And I will never take advice from someone with such poor reading comprehension. Where in the world did he read that ANYONE advocated for using a seat a child doesn't fit in? NOWHERE. That leads me to believe that he doesn't believe there are seats that fit a 4 or 5 year old and that just solidifies that he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

sunnyday016 · March 2014

@NWalker0910 - Please show where anyone in this thread said to use the seat beyond it's limits? NO ONE said that.

It's clear your DH has learned nothing from his experience. Your 18m old is at a HUGE risk being FF. There is nothing safe about it.

LittleApple · March 2014

Nobody ever said that they were RF'ing their child in a car seat that wasn't appropriate. There are a lot of seats out there now that fit a 4-5 year old RF'ing.

Meery82 · March 2014

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/76889110/#Comment_76889110

It appears that @nwalker0910 has pulled this crap before. She couldn't have been provided with any more thorough information than what was in this thread.

I guess you just really can't fix stupid.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

I really hope she meant 1 and 20lbs, not just 20lbs. Both my babies were over 20lbs by 1 year (heck my son was 20lbs at 4 months!). That gives me the shivers and would just confirm that her husband knows nothing about car seats. Well, at least nothing that isn't a decade outdated.

LittleApple · March 2014

like @meery82 said, you can't fix stupid.

minervacullen · March 2014

Wow, @NWalker0910‌ is cray cray!

minervacullen · March 2014

I do know a few, but not many. I also peek into cars

I'm pretty vocal about it and hope that some rl friends at least do some research on it.

LittleApple · March 2014

I know a few people as well and I peek into cars. I will say though, I have been seeing more RF convertible car seats since the new recommendation has come out. Most are not correctly installed (not reclined, hitting the back seat etc.) but I guess that is still better than being FF.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

I'm now a tech. So I guess for me it isn't unusual. However, I know a few people that ERF. I talk with all my mom friends about it and many have signed on. I find many that just RF till 2 though. As well as many that don't follow laws or recommendations. My XSIL was putting my niece in a HBB at 2 and I swiftly explained that was dangerous and illegal. It all depends I guess. I research everything and try to make educated decisions.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

Also, I've seen some whacko things from people. Like a parent that thinks that convertible car seats don't RF, only infant seats. As well as someone asking me to install an infant seat FF. It was craziness.

izziebee · March 2014

DaisyBlinks said:

I don't mean this to sound like I don't support extended RFing, because I do, but I am so surprised that so many people on the bump do it. I'm always nosily looking into cars and among my friends, no one seems to RF past the age of 16 months or so. It's so bizarre to me that the 'norm' around here seems to be to RF until kindergarten when I've never heard of that IRL.

I suppose the demographics of people on a baby message board would lean to people who do research online and therefore know a lot about the safety of RFing? Or maybe the extended RFers on the bump are just so vocal about it that there's a silent majority here as well that turns em' that just doesn't speak up? I'm just so curious about all of this.

Do y'all know/see a lot of extended RFers IRL?

I really don't see it much RF'ing after 1 - 1 1/2 and I'm dropping my kids off at a daycare every day where there a quite a few in this age range. I do believe that with this being a parenting/pregnancy message board, with a lot of mom's that for whatever reason may have more time to research than others (I work from home and don't have anyone monitoring my computer use so I fall into this category) you're going to find that most people here do extended RF'ing. I also believe that this is such a HOT topic and those that are on this site that do not follow this practice just don't want to post their practices of turning their child around for fear of being blasted about it. Some on here, not all, can get pretty judgy about things like this and while you shouldn't worry about what some internet stranger is saying about you, I can see where it could be tough on those with thinner skin.

That said, I turned DS1 around at about 20 months, for us, it was time. I hope to keep DS2 RF'ing that long but sense that we may be turning him around closer to 18months. This is OUR choice, it is no one else's business and yes, we are educated on the topic, we are well informed adults that care for our children and love them with all our hearts. For those of you that want to judge, go right ahead. I also only BF DS1 until 6months and only 2 months for DS2.

minervacullen · March 2014

@izziebee‌ BF and car seats have nothing to do with each other...
If you want to endanger your child's life because "it's time" be my guest. Just remember, if you get into an accident, your choices your consequences.
My child's life means more to me than that.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

I know it's the parents' choice. However, they still have to live with the consequences. There are so many parents out there whose children die or get seriously injured due to FF too early. Guess, what, RFing could of prevented that. It's the truth. There isn't a way to truly prevent a crash, but there is a way to prevent serious injury or death. This video is old, it's before the "official" AAP reccomendation came out in 2010. However, it's a true story. It ends happily, but the child had a special seat imported from Sweden afterwards to allow RFing till 55lbs while he underwent serious physical therapy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8

minervacullen · March 2014

Nicb13 said:

minervacullen said:

@izziebee‌ BF and car seats have nothing to do with each other...
If you want to endanger your child's life because "it's time" be my guest. Just remember, if you get into an accident, your choices your consequences.
My child's life means more to me than that.

Jesus. Why are comments like this necessary? Who gives a shit what other people do and do you honestly feel good making such ridiculous comments like the bolded one? It really is awful to say.

I've been on here a long time and the levels some parents stoop to on car seat debates never ceases to amaze me. By all means, keep peeking in car windows, being the car seat police and silently judge random strangers. Tell them awful things about their parenting on here though.

Because it's the truth! I'd say that to someone irl too. If you know that ff an 18m old can cause internal decapitation, death, other serious injuries that rf could prevent, why on earth would you choose to?! It's common sense and if someone is ignoring it, I will call them out. It's not judging, it's trying to protect an innocent life. My children trust me to keep them safe, to make the proper choices. I am not going to knowingly make a choice that could kill them.

I give a shit because there's an innocent child's life at stake. That's it.

nanabanana06 · March 2014

I just want all the babies to be safe. Even if their parents don't care about it, I do. I don't want another story like that poor mom on CSFTL where she FF at 1 year, got into a crash, and her child died. She now is a huge ERF advocate, but she had to lose a child to get there. It makes me sad.

I kind of wish we were more aggressive with it and just switched our laws to match Sweden's. That is my opinion though.

minervacullen · March 2014

Oh, but I have.

Car accidents are the number one cause if death for these Littles. That's something that doesn't need sugar coating.

If I hurt her feelings, or someone else's, maybe they'll reevaluate their stance and possibly save their child's life. That's worth it.

Nicb13 said:

LalaMama81 said:

I agree that it seems dramatic to state it like that - but like I always say, you can judge what someone is doing w/o actually caring about it at all.

To say you are informed but are deciding to not follow the recommendations just "because," doesn't exactly make you sound informed, you know?

Absolutely LaLa....it just infuriates me when someone says something so fucked up on here about CAR SEATS!

So many people on here are super informative and give GREAT info. If someone choose to ignore it or even make ignorant statements about doing the opposite, then oh well, you tried. But WHY on earth would you basically say "well, if your child dies in a car accident, it's on you! I care MORE about my kids than you do". Is such a horrendous thing to say.

@minervacullen takes the cake on probably the worse thing I've seen in a car seat thread. You didn't just "call them out" my friend, you did far fucking worse and I'd be shocked to actually see you (or anyone) say those exact words to someone IRL.

minervacullen · March 2014

I'm not aggressive. Really I'm not. When I think of someone knowingly, not ignorantly (meaning they really have no idea) not taking the risks seriously, it kills me. It makes me sad for the child. Someone needs to try to get the parent to realize the risks. If they don't listen fine, but I tried. If it were me and I had my child ff and something happened, I would never forgive myself. I don't want another parent to ever be in that situation either! It is not about judging. Some people need something like that said to truly grasp how dangerous it could be.
I'm sorry if you're offended, really, but to say it's one of the worst things you've read in here or that you'd slap me. Well that's ridiculous. Besides no one who knows me would ever slap me, they know I'm passionate and will stand firm. That does not make me mean.

ASmallWonder · March 2014

Aggressive attacks will never win people over to "our side."

I agree that I care because I want all babies to be safe. To say "why do you care" is truly mind boggling because why shouldn't I care about the safety of children other than my own? I honestly hope that I encourage RFing and provide good information but for people do go all "whatevah whatevah I do what I want" well, it's unfortunate because we can give lots of solid reasons not to switch them and there is rarely as strong a reason FOR turning them.

izziebee · March 2014

Nicb13 said:

minervacullen said:

@izziebee‌ BF and car seats have nothing to do with each other... If you want to endanger your child's life because "it's time" be my guest. Just remember, if you get into an accident, your choices your consequences. My child's life means more to me than that.

Jesus. Why are comments like this necessary? Who gives a shit what other people do and do you honestly feel good making such ridiculous comments like the bolded one? It really is awful to say.
I've been on here a long time and the levels some parents stoop to on car seat debates never ceases to amaze me. By all means, keep peeking in car windows, being the car seat police and silently judge random strangers. Tell them awful things about their parenting on here though.

minervacullen imply that I don't care about my kids.

LittleApple · March 2014

.

KKillian1029 · March 2014

its safer to have them face the rear but my son cried and yelled from 6 months on when he got in a car, and he turned one not to long a go but I turned him around so he could see me and the road and he was been a dream riding in cars now, and I had him turned around for about a month now. So I would say do what you feel is better for your child. or what makes you feel better

laurelita42 · March 2014

KKillian1029 said:

So I would say do what you feel is better for your child. or what makes you feel better

sunnyday016 · March 2014

KKillian1029 said:

its safer to have them face the rear but my son cried and yelled from 6 months on when he got in a car, and he turned one not to long a go but I turned him around so he could see me and the road and he was been a dream riding in cars now, and I had him turned around for about a month now. So I would say do what you feel is better for your child. or what makes you feel better

You're right, the laws of physics probably don't apply to your child.

Want a personalized experience?

Which way to face car seat?

Re: Which way to face car seat?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards