Sleep Deprivation

yellowjellybeans · March 2014

STMs: need your wisdom here

Currently at 36 wks, I sleep at 10 pm, and insomnia hits around 2 am and I can’t get back to bed till about 5 am. Then up I’m again at 7am to head to work, miserable, tired and cranky. It’s still 6 hours of sleep which is decent, but interrupted. It throws off my whole day and it’s not like the good ol’ college days, where I can binge on coffee and red bull to manage.

And so with the due date looming, it is a pure fact that we’ll be sleep deprived for the first (X) months. And yes “sleep when baby sleeps” – but generally speaking, how do you cope with sleep deprivation? Do you eventually get used to your new reality of chopped up sleep segments? Do you call a family member/friend, etc..and have them watch the baby so you catch up on some zzz’s to save your sanity? Split duties with husband?

Ultimately the goal is to feel functional enough that you can get shit done and still adore this little child. Rather, I have a feeling I’m predisposed to being a bitchy-zombie-4-life.

Avion22 · March 2014

I'm not gonna lie, I'm worried about this too. I'm hoping that between H and I, we'll be able to get enough consecutive sleep to function. But really, "functioning" will only consist of feeding ourselves and the baby, changing diapers....and that's about it. So it's not like it has to be a really high level of congnition right away.

ksulli · March 2014

Yeah, it's kind of a haze and you aren't your best self for a while.

Sleep when baby sleeps is a crock- when are you supposed to pee, eat, shower, or wash clothing?

tag your partner in for a while, and accept when people offer to help- but give them specific things to help with (could you wash those dishes? Could you get this pile of laundry done? Would you vacuum the family room?).

If your BFing, it winds up putting a lot on you that nobody else can take, but feed baby & hand it to SO to change, bathe, play or put back down- that way you can rest for the full break between meals if you need it.

Rrrrrachel · March 2014

I am a big sleeper. I love my sleep. I was surprised by how "well" my body handled dealing with getting up with the baby. Especially for the first months it's like hormones or something just kick in and get you through. I often take benadryl when I'm pregnant, though, to help me sleep.

kseccomb17 · March 2014

Use this time to prepare yourself for MOTN feedings and changes. Resting when you can is super important. As a person who only has 3 hours of interrupted sleep while not pregnant, I see how being exhausted can quickly become frustrated, but it's your body getting you ready for the future. I feel like you're body adjusts to baby's schedule pretty quickly, and it does get better.Taking turns with your DH seems to be pretty effective also. Even if your EBF, he can grab baby and return baby, change diapers, etc. Also, asking for help is important. When you need it, don't be afraid to ask!

Smores730 · March 2014

I've had this problem with insomnia at the end of all of my pregnancies. Like why is my body making me tired before I *have* to be tired?!?! Grr!
You will adjust to an extent to the chopped up sleep, but you'll find yourself taking naps on the weekend, going to bed at hours you didn't before, and negotiating a lot with your DH as to night time duties and how they vary during the week and weekend.
You will have some time to nap when the baby naps.. if you have one child

absmama · March 2014

to be honest, i think you just get used to it. i used to be the biggest sleep snob before i had a child and if i was up for a couple of hours in the night, my day was ruined. then i was given a baby who was NOT a good sleeper. she's two and at least half the time she gets me up multiple times per night (lately it's been several times an hour from about 11pm-3am) so between my discomfort and my two year old, i don't get a lot of sleep these days. if you would have told me this when i was first pregnant, i would have freaked out and thought my life was over. the first few months while you're adjusting to little sleep is extremely hard. my OB and lactation nurse even told me a lot of women who feel like they might be struggling from postpartum depression are just very sleep deprived. i can't remember exactly when i turned the corner and started getting back to normal, but you will be okay. if i get 5 or 6 hours of sleep in a night now, i feel pretty darn good

BabyBsMommy · March 2014

Those first few nights were rough, but you get used to it. I remember DH and my mom taking DS and I got a couple of 4 hour stretches of sleep. I was like a new person!

haziedaze · March 2014

I think you do all those things. Literally you put one foot in front of another and go into survival mode. In the beginning you have to focus on BF if that's your plan and no one can really help with that. I mastered nursing while laying down fairly soon after getting home and felt it was a game changer. Once baby finishes nursing naps are definitely key and babies sleep longer when held so grandparents, friends, and dad can come hold while you nap!

Once feeding is established you can decide to have dad do one nighttime feeding so you get a longer stretch. Usually you don't want to start this until 2-4 weeks depending on your supply. The way I did it was I feed at 9-10pm, went and crashed. Dad cuddled DS and stayed up watching mvies/TV, he gave a bottle of BM at 12a-1a and then brought him to bed. I could sleep from 10-11pm until the 2-3 am feeding which was heaven. I would pump in the morning after nursing and pump the exact amount that he had taken the night before, generally following the rule of keeping my output the same as his intake over a 24 hour period. Worked well for us.

FF mommies can do this from the get go, highly recommend it. A 4-5 hour stretch feels like heaven!

Teresa1896 · March 2014

I would say not to psych yourself out too much about what may happen when LO comes. Everyone told me I would never sleep again, and I did just fine. Yes my sleep was more interrupted than before pregnancy, but my body seemed to know it needed sleep and I could always fall right back to sleep after the motn feedings.
I honestly found I slept better the first few months of DD's life than I did the last few months of my pregnancy.

at least I was comfortable after she was born!

*sparky* · March 2014

You do adjust to getting less sleep. There are days that it really sucks, though, and that is when you pass the baby off on DH or anyone who will take them and sleep whenever you can get a break.

For the most part, I recall it was not really that bad, and my DS went through crappy sleep phases for the first couple of years.

amhah09 · March 2014

You just get used to it. I wouldn't know what to do with an uninterrupted nights sleep right now. Obviously the insomnia is exacerbated because of the pregnancy, but I probably haven't gotten an uninterrupted decent stretch of sleep since I was pregnant with DS 4 years ago.

ETA - personally I think late-term pregnancy insomnia and exhaustion is worse than the newborn phase. You sleep a lot less with a newborn but I remember actually having energy again to at least get me through the exhaustion.

Elf2718 · March 2014

I'm an insomniac by nature, so getting up multiple time doesn't bother me too much...although waking up to tingling hands and a full bladder isn't fun!

I'm more worried about PP because my SO starts a new job and will be working nights. There won't be any additional help and I worry that I'll lose it and have a breakdown.

snowclouds · March 2014

yellowjellybeans said:

STMs: need your wisdom here

Currently at 36 wks, I sleep at 10 pm, and insomnia hits around 2 am and I can’t get back to bed till about 5 am. Then up I’m again at 7am to head to work, miserable, tired and cranky. It’s still 6 hours of sleep which is decent, but interrupted. It throws off my whole day and it’s not like the good ol’ college days, where I can binge on coffee and red bull to manage.

And so with the due date looming, it is a pure fact that we’ll be sleep deprived for the first (X) months. And yes “sleep when baby sleeps” – but generally speaking, how do you cope with sleep deprivation? Do you eventually get used to your new reality of chopped up sleep segments? Do you call a family member/friend, etc..and have them watch the baby so you catch up on some zzz’s to save your sanity? Split duties with husband?

Ultimately the goal is to feel functional enough that you can get shit done and still adore this little child. Rather, I have a feeling I’m predisposed to being a bitchy-zombie-4-life.

This is actually pretty close to what having baby around for the first couple of months is like. Sleeping in chunks of time even if it is 6 hours is just hard. Take the help if it's offered and also don't try to cook and clean your house for the first month. It's hard to sleep when baby sleeps because that's the time you have to do something for YOU and that can be really important to your sanity.

It does get to be your new normal and you learn how to cope being really tired. Also, when others like DH tell you they're so tired you want to kill them because their level of tired is not even close to yours:-) Most babies will start to sleep longer stretches (6 hrs or so) around 2-4 months which can help a lot. I say most babies because some babies like mine think that STTN is for the birds and refuse to do it for an entire year.

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