Starting to get concerned

pineconey · March 2014

Ok I know this conversation has been had before, but I am beginning to think I'm going to have a bit of a crisis on my hands over the next few weeks.

Let's talk about butt wiping.

I'm a reach through the front kind of gal, though each "zone" gets wiped separately to prevent cross contamination. I'm starting to get to the point where wiping after poos is nearly impossible, but I've found out the hard way that my short, T-Rex arms won't allow me to reach from the back OR the side! Seriously, my midwife talked about letting me feel when the baby's head starts coming out and I laughed at her, showing her exactly how far I was capable of reaching. She nodded in agreement- much too short.

Anyone else struggling this? Is there another technique I'm missing? DH suggested the diaper sprayer, but I am not about to spray my corn hole with ice water, thank you very much.

spano41 · March 2014

No advice but I did just get a pretty funny mental image of a t-rex trying to wipe!

Twirple · March 2014

You might need to invest in this

https://www.amazon.com/Living-XL-91021179-Bottom-Buddy/dp/B000G39ZIY

twinklemoon · March 2014

The things we pregnant women endure....sorry not much help here....I use wipes galore just to make sure I'm cleaning correctly....whatever angle I can get ill do ...such a pain in the ass

pineconey · March 2014

@Twirple‌ ughhhhhh that's what DH said and I nearly punched him!

@twinklemoon‌ ... Hehe pain the the ass....

Twirple · March 2014

@pineconey, I may or may not have considered getting one of my own...

I can definitely sympathize. I would definitely get one before having someone else wipe my ass though.

mammasuzelov · March 2014

Have you tried standing up, and wiping from the back? Baby wipes are better than tp.

Avion22 · March 2014

SuzanneOlov said:

Have you tried standing up, and wiping from the back? Baby wipes are better than tp.

This is what I have to do. I stand up and lean slightly forward. Only a few more weeks :-)

irisheyez7 · March 2014

Ugh! This has been a MAJOR problem for me too! On top of attempting to reach over the bump, I have a pulled muscle in my right shoulder blade (I can't do pretty much anything with my left) that makes it soooooooooo painful to reach! It's awful and so painful! Reaching from behind doesn't work right either. I always feel like I am missing something! I wish I had a Bedit :-(

J&NL · March 2014

SuzanneOlov said:
Have you tried standing up, and wiping from the back? Baby wipes are better than tp.

This is what I do.

MamaFantastic · March 2014

This was such an amazing first post to open this morning

snmetz7 · March 2014

I've also resorted to the stand and wipe. Ill have to pic up some flush able wipes to make my job a little easier

LittleLady77 · March 2014

Seriously, it is getting difficult!!

PoppySeedWindsor · March 2014

I am SOOOO glad I'm not the only person with this problem. I noticed it and was like, "WTF?!? Did I forget how to wipe properly?!?"

Phew!

Rogue237 · March 2014

I love you, Piney, but I laughed my ass off at t-Rex arms for like 10 minutes. Sorry, no advice, I've got long, monkey arms!

JuneDay2913 · March 2014

Yes!!! It is driving me crazy!!!!! Wet wipes have been working wonders!

ksulli · March 2014

Yeah, I was just thinking about this challenge yesterday. Fortunately (?) I'm on iron supplements, so this is not a daily problem. On Saturday I seriously considered just taking a shower after managing to poop.

olenkapdx · March 2014

I have never been more thankful for having gawky long Kermit arms than right now.

DemoDoll · March 2014

We wipe the same way and it's definitely gotten too difficult to continue with normal practice. Now I kind of stand up and have to reach around back.

PoppySeedWindsor · March 2014

ksulli said:

Yeah, I was just thinking about this challenge yesterday. Fortunately (?) I'm on iron supplements, so this is not a daily problem. On Saturday I seriously considered just taking a shower after managing to poop.

This is how I manage bad days.

WifeofaComposer · March 2014

aviola329 said:

I use flush able wipes so there's less effort needed. I don't have a solution to the reach issue. I'm having trouble with in now bc my hands and wrists are so painful that twisting my hand to wipe hurts like hell. The faster I can get it done the better basically.

^^^This. I swear, @aviola329, you and I have had identical pregnancies all along.

Kelsey2me · March 2014

So many hilarious mental images come to mind from reading this!

I've never tried it, but could you reach close enough to do some floss type action with a wet wipe? It may be completely unreasonable, but that's the first thing that came to mind other than just taking a quick shower.

Kumori · March 2014

Avion22 · March 2014

This whole post has pretty much made my day. First, because I'm glad to know I'm not the only person with this problem, and second because I love that we can talk about this here and there is no shame or judgement, just people talking about how to wipe poop from their a**es :-)

pineconey · March 2014

Soooooooooooooooo I just tried the stand and wipe from behind and I pulled a muscle in my back. Bwahaha pregnancy is hilarious. DH suggested I just scoot my butt across the carpet...

fee1124 · March 2014

Wait, not everyone stands and wipes?

katieharpiceland · March 2014

pineconey said:

Soooooooooooooooo I just tried the stand and wipe from behind and I pulled a muscle in my back. Bwahaha pregnancy is hilarious. DH suggested I just scoot my butt across the carpet...

LOL, the *new* doggy style!

fee1124 · March 2014

My ob has you go to the bathroom and collect the group B strep on your own...I had to kindly advise them that this may or may not be possible, unless they wanted to allow my fiancee to join me...or pick me up off the floor

pineconey · March 2014

fee1124 said:
My ob has you go to the bathroom and collect the group B strep on your own...I had to kindly advise them that this may or may not be possible, unless they wanted to allow my fiancee to join me...or pick me up off the floor

//dead

)

Serenla · March 2014

I love this thread.

ksulli · March 2014

This thread is really the perfect relief from my day. I may come back and read it a few dozen times.

Also, @avion22 re: our freedom to discuss poop and butt wiping: just wait till the babies are here- then we'll start delving into consistency and color.

WifeofaComposer · March 2014

WifeofaComposer · March 2014

Well, shit - my gif didn't work.

juniper75 · March 2014

Talk about timing, I was sooo going to post on this topic yesterday when I realized that I had reached that point in my pregnancy were wiping became an olympic event. And like it isn't already awkward enough the bathroom stalls are so small in my office building that you have limited options to contort yourself to begin with! This is my last week at work and if it wasn't I probably would have moved up my departure date just because of this! I kept thinking yesterday that hopefully no one was looking at my feet as I shuffled around sitting, standing, turning and bending trying to find anything that worked.

I will now confess to you ladies one of my most precious secrets from my last pregnancy.... I actually ended up on bed rest for a few days all from a self inflicted injury which occured while trying to wipe my butt! I twisted and turned and somehow pulled my round ligament so badly that I could hardly move for a couple of days. I wound up in triage at the hospital and at my OB's getting checked out and never really confessed to either one exactly how I pulled the ligament... It was just too humiliating. When they asked if I had done any strenous activity what was I supposed to say? Yes I wiped my butt?

As you can imagine I am especially paranoid this time around....

joules40 · March 2014

Oh this has made me feel so much better. I was devastated to learn this week that I am now unable to wipe my own ass. (If I knew how to mobile gif there would be a pic from Big Daddy)

pineconey · March 2014

I've found that I have to spread my legs allllllll the way too in order to wipe with any sort of effectiveness

mrsB68 · March 2014

The image of the diaper sprayer has me laughing my ass off! I will feel for you and def agree I try to use the handicap stalls now for extra room. Belly too big to fit anywhere else.

snmetz7 · March 2014

You guys have me rolling with laughter with your T. rex arms and wiping your butt on the carpet to pulling your round ligament wiping. H had to come check me me I was laughing so hard.

Abcollins57 · March 2014

The best part is when you have to pull your pants all the way down to your ankles so you can get the right amount of spread, then you have to figure out how to get your pants back up

avidkeo · March 2014

FFC (god I cant believe Im confessing this one..)

I was feeling a little smug reading this post this morning, cause I am like Pineconey - but can still reach...

apparently not. Just went to the bathroom, and I have a skid mark. SO EMBARRASSED! (and I share with the internet, go me!)

Stand and wipe from now on...

akmamabear · March 2014

I totally feel your pain, and not being able to wipe AT ALL has been an irrational fear of my for a while now. I find that I now have to: 1) use lots of wet wipes to get the job done faster, and 2) alternate from front to back. When I wipe in front too much, I get BH or baby gets in the way and blocks my ribs from bending. So I reach behind and get a charlie horse in my back. I await the day that I no longer have to strategically wipe my ass.

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