Dad's and Healthcare, Wills, and Adult Responsibilites. — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Dad's and Healthcare, Wills, and Adult Responsibilites.

I love being a father and a husband.  I have never wanted anything as much as these two things.  Last night we took our son to his 18 month exam, and there he was, walking through the door to get to the exam room all on his own.  I looked at my wife and we both realized that our little baby is not so little anymore.

Got me thinking about all those things that a single guy NEVER thinks about.

My own health: Now that I am a father, making sure that I am in the best health possible is now a responsibility that has serious consequences.  Annual physicals, good diet and exercise, emotional and spiritual well being are all important things that have an impact on my family.  I am not that young adult anymore who can eat anything and depend on my body to take care of itself.  Now I am very aware of what I eat and drink, and maintaining a regular cycle of daily exercise.

Making a Will: I hate this idea.  I have not shared this yet here, but a few weeks ago a blood clot was discovered when I went to Urgent Care for what I thought was an anxiety attack.  Scared the shit out of me and my wife, of course.  Now, all I am thinking about is getting a will in order this weekend.  Tihs is not an event that is accompanied by cake and ballons.  This is grim shit that I hate dealing with.  Death is not something I am very comfortable about, in terms of my own mortality.

I knew that having a child was a huge, huge responsibility, and I love having that.  At the same time, it opens up my own fears and concerns, as I look at my own life, and who I am as a father and a husband.

Any other dad's struggle with this?  It seems such a long time ago when the only concerns I had were rent and where I was going to watch football.  Now??  The exact opposite.  

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Re: Dad's and Healthcare, Wills, and Adult Responsibilites.

  • We still need to get two friends to sign our wills.  Once this is done we will have to change our secondary beneficiaries to be a trust set up by the will for our LO.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • @Wulgar

    You are much further ahead then we are. Did you reach out to a lawyer, or did you do boilerplate forms?

    The details are what make me so uncomfortable.

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  • Dads doesn't need an apostrophe to make it plural. I wanted to say this a lot in the other thread but I'm too lazy to go back and find it.

    Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

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    There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
    Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
    Without you I'll never make it out alive
    But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 
  • My life is complicated and I have had a will since I was 18 years old and keep it updated every time a major event happens. It's part of being an adult and I don't know anybody that's going to get out of this game alive.

    I have also bought several burial plots over the years. They are an investment if you can buy them for the right price and I want to make sure that my family does not have to worry about all of the details if something should happen.


    Proud 40 year old, first time daddy!
  • I worry sometimes that if the money part of the equation is not handled by a lawyer, someone can come back and fight the terms of the will.

    When that time comes, the last thing I want my children to have to worry about is someone contesting the will on some stupid grounds.

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  • Jack9 said:

    I worry sometimes that if the money part of the equation is not handled by a lawyer, someone can come back and fight the terms of the will.

    When that time comes, the last thing I want my children to have to worry about is someone contesting the will on some stupid grounds.

    if you are worried that your will might be contested then yes absolutely bringing in a lawyer can help smooth the way.  that said I have seen plenty of lawyer drawn wills get fucked up because of late amendments done by an elderly person that are also totally binding and supersede the original

    Normally I would not worry about my will being contested.  A few years back I did a search for my birth parents, and a few of my birth siblings are very shady, to say the least.  Even though I have not seen them since those initial visits, there were signs that they wanted to try to take advantage of my families "financial standing".  I would hate to have those individuals reappear later, when we are gone.

    I understand legally they are not my family, since I am adopted, but still.... 

    My best friend is a lawyer, so I am not worried about going down that road.  I just need to do it.

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    [Deleted User]
  • We did go through a lawyer and got all of the other misc. documents done at the same time including power of attorney, living will, etc.  All total, it was $380 for everything with her having a copy of everything in case anything happens.  Then we shared this with everyone that gets effected.
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  • We got our wills done not that long ago.  My wife started working for an elder law attorney and one of the perks is that at 6 months in, she'll do your legal documents (living will, will, power of attorney, etc.) for free. It wasn't something I was looking forward to, because it is an admission that you realize that something could happen to you...but it was important because we had to set up who got the boys if we both go, who executes the trusts in their name, etc.  I still need to get life insurance, beyond that which my work provides.
  • I need to do all of this...sad thread, now I'm depressed and apparently slowly dying...
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