If you knew then what you know now.... (and Intro)

Kacelets · March 2014

I wanted to make the "official" introduction on this board. I know many of you from TTTC - but since 3 bum IUIs - I've enjoyed seeing posts here to help me in my new IVF adventure. We are officially "unexplained" - so makes it a little hard to swallow - not having a "reason" for our infertility (as if having a reason makes it any easier).

We are in the midst of the first IVF - our first u/s was this morning. We have 24 little follies brewing - which I was told is pretty good for an "old lady" like me. For the first time since all of this started - I am feeling great about this process. I have a giant perma-smile knowing that we actually have a shot with IVF.

So - thank you for having me. I'm thrilled to have such a great on-line stranger family who is so knowledgable and understanding.

With this being my first - I'd like to hear any and all advice or tips that you wish someone had told you when you started with IVF. (Ex - I wish someone warned me that I would get AF (again) after 2 weeks of BCP - I should have figured it out on my own - but was a mean surprise).

ronniesgirl1981 · March 2014

Hey lady! Welcome to this side. You're a week ahead of me in the process (my baseline is next Saturday) so I look forward to following your progress! Good luck!

jaztastic · March 2014

Welcome officially to IF board. Hopefully this IVF cycle will be successful for you. I wish someone warned me about the med side effects. First couple days of stims are okay, then BAM your body and emotions turn against you. My first cycle i didn't realize it was the meds (I didn't use the forums/blogs then).

cls78 · March 2014

Welcome and gl!

rlk2 · March 2014

Welcome and hope your stay here is short. I wish I would have known how emotional I would become and that your body goes through so many changes....bloating,fatigue, achiness But it's all worth it (or so I've been told) in the end. I also wish (as weird as it sounds) I would have embraced that time...that is my goal this cycle. How many people (non IFers) are able to know exactly when they produce eggs and the exact moment if fertilization, etc!

PrincessPix · March 2014

Welcome. AF visiting was a hard one for me too. I called my nurse thinking I messed something up & she was like... Uh... No.

I wish someone would have told me what the week between ER & ET was like. I know everybody responds differently, but I almost felt like a junkie coming off the stim meds, getting the dt's and what have you. I also didn't realize how sore I'd feel following ER because in my mind, once the eggs were gone, my ovaries would just be normal again. Lol. Wrooooonng.

I agree with @rlk2. IF is a nasty B, but if you have a second to embrace this time, do it... So many people aren't able to do what we are doing, and although we aren't lucky by any other standards, were pretty lucky to have this opportunity now.

mrscsw · March 2014

Welcome and GL!

indianaalum · March 2014

Welcome, but sorry you have to join us!:( I guess I wish i knew about the weight gain. I guess I wish I knew my entire social calendar would be on hold and that I would have to miss so much work. I also wish I knew about how many things have to go "right" so that your cycles don't get cancelled (talking about IUI and In vitro) Also, I wish i knew that my husband and I were going to answer some hard questions ON THE SPOT a) If one of you dies, what do you want to do with embryos b) If you divorce, what do with embryos c) If you get pregnant with multiples, do you want to "selectivally reduce" d) How many embyros do you want implanted (gave me a number, but still had to decide if I was comfortable with the many) e) Do you want to pay EXTRA to freeze embryos f) Do you want to pay EXTRA to test the embryos hope that helps

indianaalum · March 2014

PrincessPix said:

Welcome. AF visiting was a hard one for me too. I called my nurse thinking I messed something up & she was like... Uh... No. I wish someone would have told me what the week between ER & ET was like. I know everybody responds differently, but I almost felt like a junkie coming off the stim meds, getting the dt's and what have you. I also didn't realize how sore I'd feel following ER because in my mind, once the eggs were gone, my ovaries would just be normal again. Lol. Wrooooonng. I agree with @rlk2. IF is a nasty B, but if you have a second to embrace this time, do it... So many people aren't able to do what we are doing, and although we aren't lucky by any other standards, were pretty lucky to have this opportunity now.

Totally agree. I kinda thought once the eggs were out, I'd be skinny again. HOly BLOAT..My gosh, I felt horrible that I weighed so much and my pants didn't fit.

Also, TMI, all these meds are making uber constipated which just makes me feel even more bloated

RunCC37 · March 2014

Hello & welcome over here! I hope you have beginners luck with IVF!! If I could go back to IVF #1, I wouldn't have POAS... I would have waited for my beta. It wouldn't have changed the BFN, but maybe I could've lived in ignorant bliss for just a few days longer. I really tortured myself by seeing BFNs every day leading up to my beta. I'll never do that again. This time, beta or bust!! (assuming we make it to a transfer!)

missmarypoppins · March 2014

indianaalum said:
Welcome, but sorry you have to join us!:(

I guess I wish i knew about the weight gain.
I guess I wish I knew my entire social calendar would be on hold and that I would have to miss so much work.
I also wish I knew about how many things have to go "right" so that your cycles don't get cancelled (talking about IUI and In vitro)

Also, I wish i knew that my husband and I were going to answer some hard questions ON THE SPOT
a) If one of you dies, what do you want to do with embryos
b) If you divorce, what do with embryos
c) If you get pregnant with multiples, do you want to "selectivally reduce"
d) How many embyros do you want implanted (gave me a number, but still had to decide if I was comfortable with the many)
e) Do you want to pay EXTRA to freeze embryos
f) Do you want to pay EXTRA to test the embryos

hope that helps

All of the above! All of those things came as such a shock to me. And I'm going to be pessimistic here, but I really wish that someone would have sat me down and told me about the huge possibility that my first IVF would not work. I was so hopeful and optimistic and i was crushed when it failed. I had always held IVF in the back of my mind saying "well we can just do IVF" I never imagined it wouldn't work. But the truth is that sometimes the first IVF is a learning experience for both you and your RE and there are so many many (crazy strong) women who have to go at it again and again to get their miracle.

That being said, I hope the first times a charm for you and your stay here is short and sweet!

carends · March 2014

RunCC37 said:

Hello & welcome over here! I hope you have beginners luck with IVF!! If I could go back to IVF #1, I wouldn't have POAS... I would have waited for my beta. It wouldn't have changed the BFN, but maybe I could've lived in ignorant bliss for just a few days longer. I really tortured myself by seeing BFNs every day leading up to my beta. I'll never do that again. This time, beta or bust!! (assuming we make it to a transfer!)

This exactly! There is a lot of anxiety as it is with IVF, but I added to it myself by not waiting. Also, I was surprised by the amount of pain I was in after ER. I was given some pain meds right afterwards, but didn't take a prescription for later that day. Wish I had!

babydreams13 · March 2014

Welcome. We are unexplained too and it sucks. I just wanna have something we can fix. What I have learned is everything can look great and it doesn't turn out great. I try not to get my hopes up.

GL

katib77 · March 2014

If you're on a pc there is a link in my sig to my blog. I did a post in Oct on tips and advice, sorry I'm mobile so I can't link.

Ihope · March 2014

Welcome, I wish I would have been more aggressive with my RE plan right from the beginning. Feel I have lost a lot of time being too conservative with treatments.

Mrs.McIrish · March 2014

You probably aren't ready to hear what I know now. I think I would have ended up in a catatonic state if I knew what would happen...

penad5 · March 2014

I hope you don't get here - but i wish i would have known that if you get a BFN your next visit from AF could be very uncomfortable. I had a lot of cramping that Tylenol couldn't touch... apparently completly normal... just wish i would have known what to expect

ltlavac · March 2014

Hi! No advice from me, I'm a newbie also going onto IVF #1 next month, so I will be following along to see how your journey goes. I wish you the best of luck, and good to see someone else out there who is "Unexplained" agreed, no dx is easy to swallow but gosh, I just don't get what's not clicking when all our tests come back within normal limits. Keep us posted on your progress

Kacelets · March 2014

Well, Thank you to all who warned me. Much appreciated. This was helpful in reducing my "surprise face" which I seemed to have often in the beginning of this process. No one mentioned how completely stupid the meds make you. I will warn all others - in addition to the above mentioned - you may have difficulty with word retrieval and your thought process is often interrupted. Attention is difficult as well. Also - another strange side effect - I. can. smell. everything. I mean, everything.

The hard part is over - I hope. I woke up from anesthesia, weeping, saying, "I'm never doing this again." (I don't remember any of that). Oh, and apparently, I told the RE that there *must* be something wrong with me. "I've never been pregnant and had a 'wild' time in college." Kill me - I don't remember any of that either. My poor DH told me aaaalllllll about it later when I was hopped up on Vicodin. Now, I wait patiently to see how many of those little embies are mature and have survived the horizontal mambo.

@ronniesgirl1981 and @Itlavac - you are next!!

Thanks again ladies! You are truly an amazing support!

ronniesgirl1981 · March 2014

@Kacelets‌ I'm cracking up over here!! I shall add to the things that I am worried about is what will come out of my mouth after ER!! Also, 23!!!! Thats awesome!

shelbeans82 · March 2014

missmarypoppins said:

Welcome, but sorry you have to join us!:( I guess I wish i knew about the weight gain. I guess I wish I knew my entire social calendar would be on hold and that I would have to miss so much work. I also wish I knew about how many things have to go "right" so that your cycles don't get cancelled (talking about IUI and In vitro) Also, I wish i knew that my husband and I were going to answer some hard questions ON THE SPOT a) If one of you dies, what do you want to do with embryos b) If you divorce, what do with embryos c) If you get pregnant with multiples, do you want to "selectivally reduce" d) How many embyros do you want implanted (gave me a number, but still had to decide if I was comfortable with the many) e) Do you want to pay EXTRA to freeze embryos f) Do you want to pay EXTRA to test the embryos hope that helps
All of the above! All of those things came as such a shock to me. And I'm going to be pessimistic here, but I really wish that someone would have sat me down and told me about the huge possibility that my first IVF would not work. I was so hopeful and optimistic and i was crushed when it failed. I had always held IVF in the back of my mind saying "well we can just do IVF" I never imagined it wouldn't work. But the truth is that sometimes the first IVF is a learning experience for both you and your RE and there are so many many (crazy strong) women who have to go at it again and again to get their miracle. That being said, I hope the first times a charm for you and your stay here is short and sweet!

I agree with @missmarypoppins I was prepared for IVF but not prepared for it to fail. I hope you never have to experience that! Good luck!

kz's_girlygirl · March 2014

BFP/loss mentioned

I guess this is more of a general IF thing, and not just IVF, but I'll add that the anxiety doesn't stop. During our first IVF, I thought getting to ER was the hurdle, then getting to ET, then getting a BFP. After the BFP I thought things would be smooth sailing, but then you are waiting for doubling numbers, waiting for that first ultrasound to show a sac, waiting for a HB. For me at least, there was always that voice in the back of my head reminding me that I'm an infertile, so I shouldn't get too comfortable.

Like others have said, I hope IVF #1 works for you and results in a healthy and happy baby at the end of 9 months!!!

If you knew then what you know now.... (and Intro)

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