Accidentally announced the baby's name... Help!

spano41 · March 2014

A14 I need your help. I feel so awful. We Have a name picked out but are keeping it secret even though we refer to her by name at home. My mom is visiting and at dinner DH almost slipped and said the name, we all joked how hard it was going to be to not say it on accident for the whole weekend. Well last night while DH was gone I DID slip and say it so now my mom knows. It was really awkward and just I changed the subject but I know she heard. My question is should I tell DH what happened or pretend it never happened which is what my mom seems to be doing. He will be very mad because it's important to him that this is a secret. The main reason he didn't want to tell people was because he didn't want their reactions to skew our opinion and I feel like I can still shield him from that, but I of course don't want to hide something from my husband. What would you do?

pineconey · March 2014

Tell him. It was an innocent mistake.

LittleLady77 · March 2014

I would tell my husband. How mad can he get? It was an accident that won't mater in the long run and he almost made the same mistake.

rtv3 · March 2014

Ditto pps - just tell him. It's a legit mistake and it sounds like ur mom won't spread it or anything. I'm so worried about doing the same thing!

MamaFantastic · March 2014

i don't know how to answer. i feel distracted by the fact that you're honestly worried about the level of anger your husband will feel at the fact that you slipped up and said the baby's name. that's just so strange to me. he seems very intense by your description. if the main concern was avoiding hearing opinions about the name, and if your mom is ignoring it and you are too, then i'd just let it go. the end goal was still achieved.

spano41 · March 2014

I didn't mean to make him sound intense. Mad is probably the wrong word. He will just be disappointed and unhappy at the situation. Not even really at me probably, just the situation. I am just not very excited that I did something that will make him unhappy.

pineconey · March 2014

Welcome to being a human.
We let others down.

spano41 · March 2014

Yeah....being human sucks some times.

Emily041285 · March 2014

Just to offer a different perspective...we are doing the same thing. My SIL has been trying to get it out of me for months. They did the same thing with her kids. She was here a while ago and told me that her sister and mom knew before the birth. And her DH still doesn't know. My niece is almost 4.

I'm not sure what I would do. I know I've told two people but DH doesn't know I did. I doubt I will tell him until after she is born. He probably won't care by then!

KatieKim0815 · March 2014

I would tell him. Not doing it is a lie to me. Not a life changing one but I just don't lie to my spouse. It wasn't intentional.

KatieKim0815 · March 2014

I would tell him. Not doing it is a lie to me. Not a life changing one but I just don't lie to my spouse. It wasn't intentional.

deidremaria · March 2014

It's not like you pulled your mom aside like "hey guess what we're naming the baby *evil laugh*". It was an honest mistake. I'd tell him. Maybe you guys could ask your mom to keep quiet

abbeylanecb · March 2014

Well I totally don't understand keeping the name a secret, I think it is strange. If you are that scared he will be mad you have bigger problems.

MadBloom · March 2014

I would tell mine. We are keeping our names secret from his side of the family because they are ridiculous about keeping secrets and the whole
World would know. His sister ended up guessing it but I didn't tell her she got it right. Every guess I just said I wasn't saying yes or no. My parents know the names we've picked and my mom is calling LO both names thinking she can get a kick or two to guess if it's a boy or girl.
Anyways, bottom line.... Tell your husband. If it comes out later that your mom DID hear the name and knew it then he will probably be more upset.

ohhhmysushi · March 2014

mamrotu73 said:
Just tell him. Since he almost made the same mistake, I'm sure he will understand. And he will be happier hearing it from you than if your MIL let it slip accidentally that she knows while the two of you tried to hide the mistake from him.

Yes, tell him. It's an innocent mistake and if he makes a big deal out of it then you have bigger problems. If you guys really like the name and are dead set on it then others opinions shouldn't easily sway it.

lilmama412 · March 2014

abbeylanecb said:
Well I totally don't understand keeping the name a secret, I think it is strange. If you are that scared he will be mad you have bigger problems.

I love it when people don't tell the name, it adds to the excitement and anticipation of the arrival of the baby. It's also something special that you and DH can keep between yourself for a while. I actually think it's weird when people tell others the name. To me personally, it takes away from some of the birth excitement. Although a baby being born is always exciting, it just takes away that one last element.

OP I think you could go either way with that. Maybe your mom didn't hear you, or it didn't even register that you said the name. And if she's playing it cool and pretending she didn't hear and she knows that it is important to you guys to keep the secret, she won't tell anyone else. If you want to tell your spouse for your own piece of mind, do it, I probably would. But I don't think it's a huge deal if you don't, and your secret probably won't go any further than your mom.

Alana1977 · March 2014

I would tell him. We are keeping our name a secret as well to avoid opinions And I also let our name slip. My husband just laughed it off because he knew me well enough to know it would eventually slip. However, if I were to hide this from him he would be very upset because in his mind it would show a lack of trust and openness in our relationship. Honesty is important, your husband may be upset for a bit but he will get over it. And if your main reason for keeping the name quiet was to avoid opinions and your mom is not giving any then I see no harm done.

spano41 · March 2014

Ok..... so I told him and he just laughed. Guess I didn't have anything to be worried about. Thanks for all of the advice and convincing me to tell him. I was definitely making a mountain out of a mole hill. My mom is still playing it cool so it looks like everything is good for now!