NBR: being told what to wear to a wedding

AKbadwolf · March 2014

amlonica said:

I agree i think the dress code is okay if thats important to you (although my best friend was black tie optional and i had no idea what that even meant) but specific requests is kind of over the top. You may be asking someone to go buy new clothes entirely. The only black dresses i have are beach coverups are you sure thats what you want?? Haha.

Black tie optional is a cop-out. It means they want a black tie affair but don't want to be "those people" who require everyone to wear formal tuxedo's to their wedding. With this it means you can wear anything from Business attire to Black Tie. At that I would call and ask which way they want you to lean.

helloblueeyes · March 2014

Nichole8787 said:

jamboree jess said:

I have never been to a wedding that asked me to wear something specific, so I'd be annoyed (especially pregnant) but I also feel like like is should have specified semi-formal/formal attire on my wedding invite. I had one person in a t-shirt and sweatpants and one person in a t-shirt, jean mini skirt and snow boots(my wedding was in April. Ugh. Every time I look at my wedding photos I want to punch those two people. So I sort of understand what they're going for.

Are your kidding? That is the tackiest thing I could ever imagine! A freaking jean miniskirt and snow boots!

My MIL showed up to our wedding in jeans, sneakers and a long sleeve black shirt.

I still haven't forgiven her for it.

cakebatter27 · March 2014

I think the $220 for the rental is insane as well. I think our groomsmen paid $99!

I did go to target and bought 3 black dresses. I'll see which one looks best towards the end of April since it's a 90 day return policy.

Hopefully the maxi one because I'll at least wear it some after.

Nichole8787 · March 2014

helloblueeyes said:

Nichole8787 said:

jamboree jess said:

I have never been to a wedding that asked me to wear something specific, so I'd be annoyed (especially pregnant) but I also feel like like is should have specified semi-formal/formal attire on my wedding invite. I had one person in a t-shirt and sweatpants and one person in a t-shirt, jean mini skirt and snow boots(my wedding was in April. Ugh. Every time I look at my wedding photos I want to punch those two people. So I sort of understand what they're going for.

Are your kidding? That is the tackiest thing I could ever imagine! A freaking jean miniskirt and snow boots!

My MIL showed up to our wedding in jeans, sneakers and a long sleeve black shirt.

I still haven't forgiven her for it.

I can't even fathom these outfits at even the most casual of weddings. If I was going to a wedding at a freaking court house I would dress nicer than that!

EllaSmella · March 2014

I could see it being odd if it was a more unusual color like "Everyone wear sky blue" but black is so basic that it doesn't really seem like that big of an imposition to me. Would I do require people to wear a specific color to my wedding? No, because I would feel awkward doing it, but I don't think it's rude or inconsiderate, necessarily.

TurtleMonsters · March 2014

never heard of it and it's rude. I'd be annoyed, and if it wasn't a close person, I'd opt out. I don't care what the current FAD is, if you're going out of your way to get there, I say screw it. What are they going to do kick you out? It's not like it's spirit week, and I hate parties that put the guests out like that. Really? Either that, or I'd show in what ever black you have- it didn't say formal! ppl need to get a little grip on reality. Or perhaps I'd opt out of the wedding present, since I'd have to put more money into a dress. plus they didn't tell you to bring a gift.

CandiMil · March 2014

unaveragejane said:

Nichole8787 said:

jamboree jess said:

I have never been to a wedding that asked me to wear something specific, so I'd be annoyed (especially pregnant) but I also feel like like is should have specified semi-formal/formal attire on my wedding invite. I had one person in a t-shirt and sweatpants and one person in a t-shirt, jean mini skirt and snow boots(my wedding was in April. Ugh. Every time I look at my wedding photos I want to punch those two people. So I sort of understand what they're going for.

Are your kidding? That is the tackiest thing I could ever imagine! A freaking jean miniskirt and snow boots!

My FIL showed up to our wedding in a golf shirt and khakis, both wrinkled to heck, and tennis shoes. Needless to say, I don't look upon those pictures very fondly. I was also kind of peeved that he has shown up at all his other step-kids' weddings in at least a dress shirt, tie, and blazer.

ETA And pants!

That's horrible, my dad, my FIL and my step father were all required to wear a tux for my wedding...

ETA: I guess the fact that they were all in the wedding in some fashion makes it a little different but...I still can't imagine.

ichamommy · March 2014

BPaws said:
I obsess over what to wear to weddings, I would LOVE the cop out of being told what colour to wear. Love. It gives me anxiety trying to choose apropriate attire for a wedding NOT pregnant, even narrowing down colour would be so, so helpful.

Yes- its a little odd, but I would personally love it.

Yup. This and the weddings make people CRAZY post from above. I would indulge the couple and honor their requests. It's one day, it's their day, and yes you were invited but if you go, you chose to go, so indulge their requests.

I know how weddings can be a pain in the butt, but personally it drives me nuts when guests bitch about driving in, paying for gas, etc etc etc. it's a wedding, probably costing the couple $20k or more, so don't bitch about a $99/night room and $70 tank of gas.

Psssshhhh, who am I to judge (said the prego chick with a stbxh).

ghostof5letters · March 2014

I freakin LOVE weddings. I love getting dressed up, getting my hair styled, I love love love love cocktail hours and receptions and drunken family members cutting a rug.

They're just so awesome.

yurmom · March 2014

ghostof5letters said:
I freakin LOVE weddings. I love getting dressed up, getting my hair styled, I love love love love cocktail hours and receptions and drunken family members cutting a rug.

They're just so awesome.

Weddings are meh...receptions are where it's at.

Can I just show up for the reception? Is that rude? Provided I wear the black dress?

Kidding.

cakebatter27 · March 2014

dlsexton said:

ghostof5letters said:
I freakin LOVE weddings. I love getting dressed up, getting my hair styled, I love love love love cocktail hours and receptions and drunken family members cutting a rug.

They're just so awesome.
Weddings are meh...receptions are where it's at.

Can I just show up for the reception? Is that rude? Provided I wear the black dress?

Kidding.

Last year we had 4 weddings to attend. I wore what I wanted and got hammered at each of them.

This year we have one. I'm being told what to wear and I can't drink.

Weddings suck. Receptions are awesome.

And as far as people choosing to pay for a wedding that costs the same as a car...that's THEIR choice. Whether you're having a wedding at the local park or rented out a stadium, it doesn't give you the right to be a tacky asshole to those you invite.

ghostof5letters · March 2014

dlsexton said:

I freakin LOVE weddings. I love getting dressed up, getting my hair styled, I love love love love cocktail hours and receptions and drunken family members cutting a rug.

They're just so awesome.
Weddings are meh...receptions are where it's at. Can I just show up for the reception? Is that rude? Provided I wear the black dress? Kidding.

My family isn't all that religious. We rarely have a church ceremony. When I reference a wedding, I'm talking cocktail hour and beyond.

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