Unpopular/Unsolicited Opinion Thursday! 3/6

marathonmom823 · March 2014

My UO is that I hate the style of most maternity shirts, and have yet to actually buy any other than a couple of camis for length under my regular shirts. I won't buy a shirt with stripes as I feel like it makes me look HUGE! Same with the empire waisted tops, they are just NOT flattering at all. I'm ok with the tops that are fitted and have the side rouching.

abundancenow · March 2014

shanicenicolle said:

Csltdk said:

I think it's gross when people call their boyfriends/ husbands "daddy" I love you Beyonce but Jay Z is NOT your daddy

Can we put this on a billboard? (although I don't love Beyonce, lol)

UPO probably, I can't stand Beyoncé. I refer to my husband as Dad when at home because he and my son have the same name, to distinguish the two, but never Daddy.

Csltdk · March 2014

abundancenow said:

shanicenicolle said:

Csltdk said:

I think it's gross when people call their boyfriends/ husbands "daddy" I love you Beyonce but Jay Z is NOT your daddy

Can we put this on a billboard? (although I don't love Beyonce, lol)

UPO probably, I can't stand Beyoncé.

I refer to my husband as Dad when at home because he and my son have the same name, to distinguish the two, but never Daddy.

Yeah big difference between the two. You can't stand Beyonce? I watched that documentary/movie she did and I have grown to love her.

alyssa719 · March 2014

According to this thread, all my opinions are popular!!

I hate how maternity clothes have empire waists with bows. Like, everywhere. I don't need a bow, I'm not a present. Also, I understand that maybe it's the only time in life to wear horizontal stripes without looking "wide" but I don't want to, so why are there millions of them everywhere?

I use DH over MH, mostly because I know what it means. If I'm annoyed with him, you can bet that I say "dear" in the most obnoxious sarcastic tone ever.

Also, f you to the person who said gaining less is worse than gaining more. Now we've covered both ends of the spectrum on how to judge people based on what they've gained. Sorry, but I'm on board with if someone has a BMI of 40+, I'm pretty sure they don't *need* to gain more weight in order to have a healthy pregnancy/baby.

If you kick my dog, I will kick you. That being said, I've told my friends to push her off (she thinks she's a lap dog) and used to joke with her trainer about crashing into her (she would be walking along all nicely, and then just *stop* right in front of the trainer) to teach her to keep moving.

abundancenow · March 2014

Csltdk said:

shanicenicolle said:

Csltdk said:

I think it's gross when people call their boyfriends/ husbands "daddy" I love you Beyonce but Jay Z is NOT your daddy

Can we put this on a billboard? (although I don't love Beyonce, lol)

UPO probably, I can't stand Beyoncé. I refer to my husband as Dad when at home because he and my son have the same name, to distinguish the two, but never Daddy.
Yeah big difference between the two. You can't stand Beyonce? I watched that documentary/movie she did and I have grown to love her.

Yep, calling my husband 'Dad', does not have the connotation of infantilism of calling him 'Daddy' in my mind for sure. As for Bey, I think she could be a much better role model than she is. I think she has a lot of power and influence particularly over young black women and instead of sticking to her roots, she tries to play this street image that is not genuine or uplifting for young women. And I love Jay Z, but I think Beyoncé tries too hard to be a ride or die chick, when she's not.

zellatrix · March 2014

On the weight gain issue, my doctor told me she only wanted me to gain 10 lbs with this pregnancy. This isn't too hard since I am in the upper part of the 200's anyway. Just cutting out alcohol, drinking more water, and eating more fruit and I am doing better than I did before the baby. So @alyssa719, you are absolutely right. Someone at my BMI should not gain more.

abundancenow · March 2014

I didn't watch the Beyoncé documentary movie, I heard she was so full of herself.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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alyssa719 · March 2014

shanicenicolle said:

Maybe not, but BMI isn't the end all, be all of health. You can have an "unhealthy" bmi number and still be perfectly healthy aside from that.

Definitely not disagreeing with that point, I was saying in relation to weight gain while pregnant (the topic being discussed). When my BMI was over 40, I was still "perfectly healthy" aside from it. I also am positive that I had enough "nutrients" stored on me to grow at least one baby.

ETA: Also, I did pay attention to my numbers, and 40 = "morbidly obese" so it's basically where doctors get really worried about long term complications.

emy730 · March 2014

I really don't enjoy being pregnant most of the time and I try not to be too vocal about it in real life, but I hate being judged for it, as if I don't/won't love my child.

During the first trimester, I could eat next to nothing (graham crackers, papaya and rice were often all I could stomach for days) and it's gotten better in the second trimester, but I always feel sick after eating anything and I still have days where I'm puking regularly.

I just wish more people understood that not enjoying pregnancy does not equal not loving your child(ren) or looking forward to your future as their parent.

ETA: spelling is hard.

Myanswer true · March 2014

symphony4586 said:

sxymamakat said:

Jbosarge85 said:

ashleysyn2 said:

Jbosarge85 said:

We are spelling our son's name a little different but I don't give a crap if people like it or not. My mom says she hates it. In fact when we announce on facebook I might add if you don't like the name feel free not to comment on it. BTW it's Aric (which is actually the traditional viking spelling)

I don't judge if it's a legitimate yet uncommon spelling and there's reason behind it. The only time I judge people for different spelling is when they're just doing it to be uneek.

Well I guess we could always spell is Aaryck. But honestly I think that's really confusing and looks horrible.

I think we need a name thread to find the worst possible youneek spellings of some common names. Some poor fool could stumble across it and use it, I suppose that's a risk worth taking. One of my teacher girlfriends has a student named Aiwrecka and another named Britknee. :-) (OP, I like Aric, and I'm with Ash, if there's a REASON or a heritage behind, I'm all for it).

Haha, I think that'd be great.

Our runner up boys name is Rhys (pronounced Reese) which is the traditional Scottish spelling, SO and I both like it but I am kind of afraid of some of the reactions we'd get from it.

I had to argue with DH for this spelling of our LO's middle name, because he swore no one would know how to pronounce it.

sxymamakat · March 2014

alyssa719 said:

Sorry, but I'm on board with if someone has a BMI of 40+, I'm pretty sure they don't *need* to gain more weight in order to have a healthy pregnancy/baby.

There's not a nice way to say this, so here goes, and sorry if it's snarky. Please know what you're talking about before you speak. There's a difference between needing to gain a certain amount and arbitrarily deciding that someone who's overweight doesn't "need" to gain weight. If there's no gain at all, then they're actively losing while the baby is growing to compensate the difference.

And here's the chart for those with a BMI over 30.

https://www.babyyourbaby.org/pdfs/weight-charts/obese_grid.pdf

zellatrix · March 2014

sxymamakat said:

alyssa719 said:

Sorry, but I'm on board with if someone has a BMI of 40+, I'm pretty sure they don't *need* to gain more weight in order to have a healthy pregnancy/baby.

There's not a nice way to say this, so here goes, and sorry if it's snarky. Please know what you're talking about before you speak. There's a difference between needing to gain a certain amount and arbitrarily deciding that someone who's overweight doesn't "need" to gain weight. If there's no gain at all, then they're actively losing while the baby is growing to compensate the difference.

And here's the chart for those with a BMI over 30.
https://www.babyyourbaby.org/pdfs/weight-charts/obese_grid.pdf

Yes this, I am losing old fat while gain new baby weight because I take better care of myself when I am pregnant.

Csltdk · March 2014

I think the weight issue should be left alone. I don't give a fuck if you think people should eat more eat less etc. You are really cool if you judge people based on BMI or weight gain.

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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BW1088 · March 2014

sxymamakat said:

And here's the chart for those with a BMI over 30.

https://www.babyyourbaby.org/pdfs/weight-charts/obese_grid.pdf

This is a cool chart. Thanks!

I have a "bad" BMI and was told with my DD to try to stay under 25 lbs of weight gain. I was sick for the first trimester, but sure made up for it in the rest. I gained 29 lbs and overall felt/looked pretty good. Postpartum, I was down all but 7 lbs of that weight by 6 weeks out.

With this pregnancy, I've had almost no nausea, but just can't seem to find an appetite. I fill up quickly anytime I do eat something and have been eating smaller amounts more frequently. I'm currently down almost 13 lbs. My OB seems happy with my progress (LO is super healthy), but he did ask me to try to maintain in the 3rd trimester (no more weight loss). We'll see how it goes.

I think the bottom-line is, there's no perfect answer. Do what is healthy for you and your LO (under the watchful eye of your OB provider).

alyssa719 · March 2014

sxymamakat said:

alyssa719 said:

Sorry, but I'm on board with if someone has a BMI of 40+, I'm pretty sure they don't *need* to gain more weight in order to have a healthy pregnancy/baby.

There's not a nice way to say this, so here goes, and sorry if it's snarky. Please know what you're talking about before you speak. There's a difference between needing to gain a certain amount and arbitrarily deciding that someone who's overweight doesn't "need" to gain weight. If there's no gain at all, then they're actively losing while the baby is growing to compensate the difference.

So, I actually do know what I'm talking about and have discussed repeatedly with doctors about this. We decided we wanted to have a baby while my BMI was either near/over 40. I think it got to 41 at one point. It's not me arbitrarily saying this.

Yes, I understand that if someone doesn't gain while pregnant, they are actively losing. This isn't always such a bad thing. I was told (with a BMI of 30) the goal range should be 15-25, if under 30, it would have been 25-35, if over 35 then 10 (or under) and if over 40, then none. These are *GOALS* though, not mandated things. Opinions also vary from doctor to doctor in giving out information.

Maybe I *do* have an unpopular one after all.

ETA: I used to word "need" for a specific reason. It being fine to gain more or gain less, or gain whatever is one thing. But it's not *needed* all the time to gain the weight.

Jbosarge85 · March 2014

Myanswer true said:

I had to argue with DH for this spelling of our LO's middle name, because he swore no one would know how to pronounce it.

Yeah, it's our son's middle name that I am not to thrilled about. It's Chalmer. That was the hubby's grandfather's (who practically raised him) name, so it's to honor him. But I still don't like it.... What is your Lo's middle name? (If you're ok sharing)

SuperTinkerham · March 2014

I honestly don't know what I weigh. I'm fat. Morbidly obese. And those empire waist shirts are the only way I look pregnant. My doc doesn't talk about my weight gain, and I step on scale backwards. And I wish I could find more stupid empire waist tops!

drunkenhandstand · March 2014

Sorry I just really wanted to share a gif with all this talk of eating healthy. I'm bored and trying to decide what I want for dinner.

TallMomma29 · March 2014

BPaws said:

I think the weight issue should be left alone. I don't give a fuck if you think people should eat more eat less etc. You are really cool if you judge people based on BMI or weight gain.
I agree 100% that it's ridiculous to judge people on weight, size or what they eat. BUT- I will judge you if you continually complain about your weight gain, but continue to eat crap. Just like I would judge someone who complains about money, but continues to buy expensive purses. If you eat like crap and don't complain you've gained 10lbs, awesome. If you openly admit you eat like crap and then whine about how you can't understand that you've gained 10lbs, I'm judging you. For me- the judgement isn't the actual weight gain, more so the person not taking responsibility for their own choices (this isn't necessarily Bump related, it applies to real world and non pregnancy, AND non weight issues as well).

I think (at least I hope) this is what the PP who started this little mess meant to say! Every body is different. Some people will eat salad and carrots all the time and still gain weight while another girl goes to town on donuts every day and doesn't gain an ounce. And some of us naturally stress about weight in general more than others. But if you are one of the people going to town on donuts every day, and are also saying " omg I've already gained 30 pounds! How?!" I'm going to side eye you too ;-)

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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jensavicci · March 2014

LiteraChick said:
Let's just agree that blanket statements never work well with dieting/weight gain or loss. If pregnancy has proven anything to any of us, it's that our bodies do some weird shit whether we like it or not.

Don't eat McDonald's and whine when you get fat.

Skinny chicks know nothing of big chick's troubles
Big chicks know nothing of skinny chick problems.

Koom by yah ya'll. Pass me the donuts.

@LiteraChick I know about big girl problems lol

[Deleted User] · March 2014

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jensavicci · March 2014

LiteraChick said:
@jensavicci WHERE IS MY DONUT.

I mean, I used to be a big girl. Now I'm not, but I work my ass off to maintain it. I just find it hard to stomach when a chick who is 5'4'', 110lbs. tells a bigger girl that she should gain a ton of weight, or vice versa just because she is pregnant. Nuh uh. Those discussions are best saved for the Dr's office.

Not singling anyone out, I just, think it's wicked easy to sit behind a monitor and judge people by a few sentences of their situation, you know? We kind of have to, because that is all we have. I just think a grain of salt goes a long way on here. ♥

@LiteraChick pshhhhh you didn't really think you were gonna get a donut through me did you? They're gone girl. I tore them up. *wipes mouth*

But no I get what you're saying! No judgement or disagreement from me. I too was a big girl btw

Salsera29 · March 2014

I generally treat weight issues like religion and politics.

sxymamakat · March 2014

BPaws said:

We are all beautiful and unique snowflakes!!

SO SPESHUL!!! And that means we all get to play the pregnancy card too, right? I know Skeemer still has some for sale.... ;-)

bgoodbpar · March 2014

Jbosarge85 said:

Myanswer true said:

I had to argue with DH for this spelling of our LO's middle name, because he swore no one would know how to pronounce it.

Yeah, it's our son's middle name that I am not to thrilled about. It's Chalmer. That was the hubby's grandfather's (who practically raised him) name, so it's to honor him. But I still don't like it.... What is your Lo's middle name? (If you're ok sharing)

Ok I read this and totally had a Simpson's moment and heard principal Skinner in my head saying "superintendent Chalmers" ....

kay anthony · March 2014

Linzlu214 said:

I'm tired of Girl Scouts assaulting me every time I leave a store.

I haven't seen one yet and I desperately want some girl scout cookies!

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