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TTC After a Loss
KristinDMiller
member
Hi, I'm Kristin. A newbie introduction
KristinDMiller
member
Hello everyone! It's nice to find a place I can vent and interact with people like myself. On 2/17/14 I lost my daughter Claire to Chorioamnionitis. What a word that is! And I hate that word. To me that word took my daughter away. For those that do not know Chorioamnionitis is an inflammation of the fetal membranes that lead to a bacterial infection that ascends itself into the uterus. Claire was born at 21 weeks gestation. From the time I arrived at the hospital that treated me, I was told she was going to die. Heck, I was told I could possibly die from the infection too. On the morning of 2/15/14, I woke up to a contraction. I got up out of bed, looked at my hubby and told him I was having one. He thought I was just having a cramp. Now I wish he was right. I went to the bathroom and sure enough my mucus plug fell out into my hand. I know that sounds gross. It was gross, but bear with me here. I called my doctor right away. I was told to watch for blood and to take it easy. He didn't seem real concerned and so I went on about my day. See 2/16 is my birthday and I share the same birthday as my dad so we were planning a party. I never made it to that party. Later that day, 2:30 PM to be exact I went to the bathroom and there it was.....blood. I called my doctor again and he told me to come to labor and delivery right away to be seen. My husband basically flew me there and they admitted me. They sent me to U/S, and I will never forget the look on the techs face. She knew then that there was bad news. She had me wheeled to a room and that is when the doctor came in. "You are dilated, and we need to send you to __________ hospital now". The ambulance picked me up and we headed to that hospital. While in transit the nurse told me about an emergent cerclage. Told me it was a stitch placed in the cervix to keep it closed. Guess they didn't suspect infection yet. I suspected everything at that point. We got to the hospital, I was taken to labor and delivery and given a room. A female doctor came in, did an exam, had another U/S completed, came back into the room a few minutes later, looked at me and asked my due date. I told her 6/27/14. She told me then, you are dilating, your water has broke, your baby is not going to make it. My husband grabbed me and we cried together. First time I had seen him cry since our wedding. I never saw that doctor again. At 7 PM a nurse came into our room with a new doctor beside her. This doctor had hope actually. It was a breath of fresh air. They discussed my options with me. Still not suspecting infection. On 2/16/, my birthday, I went into full labor. Contractions, pain, more contractions and a feeling of loss started to build within me. That is when I started to bleed, my heart rate shot up and my temperature went to nearly 103 degrees. That is when they knew I had the infection. That is when they told me that they had to deliver Claire. They said the infection was beginning to take over my body as well. They gave me morphine for pain, inserted the epidural and prepped me for delivery. Claire was born 2/17/14 at 3:42 AM. She lived for 3 minutes. Those 3 minutes my husband held her, he said she never gasped or struggled. I was too sick and too out of it to hold her. My placenta would not deliver so I had to go to the OR and have it removed. I remember getting very ill, teeth chattering, blood pressure dropped to 57/32 and I vomited all over the surgeon. Then I passed out. I remember waking up with chills, sweats and teeth still chattering back in my room. My husband was freaking out as they came in and gave me a shot of eppernefrin???? I started to be stable. I had lost a lot of blood, and the infection had made it's way into my bloodstream. Two more days went by with me receiving 6 rounds of antibiotics. Those two days I held Claire, I basked in the glory of her cuteness, her small ears, big hands and feet. She had few blonde hairs on her head and for only being a pound she was gorgeous. She was gone to heaven but she was beautiful. I was and am in love with my daughter. A few days later we had a funeral for her and buried her. I am struggling hard with her loss. Zoloft helps I guess. My husband thinks I am better. Inside I am a total disaster. Yesterday we met with my OBGYN again. He told us the chances of this happening again are almost zero. We want to try again, knowing we aren't replacing Claire, but just trying to share parenthood together. I was told I would be considered high risk, monitored weekly to get me through a successful pregnancy. I know there are no guarantees and I am scared. I am here to encourage others but I also need the encouragement myself. I promise to help you along, just please do the same for me. Thank you.
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Re: Hi, I'm Kristin. A newbie introduction
***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.
We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***
The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
09/2007: Ectopic with rupture - lost right tube | 09/2012: Ectopic - saved the left tube
08/05/2013: BFP not ectopic | EDD: 4/22/2014 | 09/15/2013: Miscarried at home
Burned the bench 01/20/15 - Medicated Cycle with Clomid and HCG trigger shot on 02/08/2015
++++ BFP 2/17/18 ++++ EDD 10/26/2015
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
TTC since March 2012
BFP #1 1/29/13, EDD 10/9/13
BFP #3 8/11/14 EDD 4/22/14
BFP #2 6/12/14, DD born 2/21/15
Welcome to the board, this is a group of truly incredible and strong women.
Sending you lots of ((hugs)).
EDD 5/2/14, NMC 9/11/13
EDD 10/15/14, CP 2/8/14
IF Diagnosis: PCOS, MFI
Current Cycle: 5 mg Femara/1000mg Metformin + TI = BFP, EDD 4/23/15 Please be our RAINBOW
**ALL AL/IF Welcome**
My Chart
Me 34 DH 31, Together since 2003, Married August 20, 2011, TTC since May 2013
BFP #1 August 24, 2013! MMC discovered Oct. 3, 2013, D&C Oct. 4, 2013
BFP #2 December 17, 2013! MMC discovered Jan. 28, 2014, D&C Jan. 30, 2014
Testing done: male with complete Trisomy 16, not hereditary. Tested me for clotting disorders, all normal.
Feb. 2014 all clear again to TTC! Will start progesterone supplementation with the next BFP just in case. Oct. 2014 more testing just because, thyroid and autoimmune panels = normal. Diagnostic U/S = no abnormalities. Will keep trying for 3-6 more months, doctor still optimistic!
BFP #3 December 11, 2014! Beta #1 14DPO = 122.4 Beta #2 17DPO = 296.8 Please stick little one and be our Rainbow!
Perfect little heartbeat of 156 seen 1/7/15
***Everybody Welcomed***
EDD 8/21/2015 Team Green!
August 2015 Siggy Challenge: Favorite mean girl from a movie or show: Kathy Bates in "Misery"Me: 34, DH: 32
TTC Since September 2012
Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles
March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN
April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN
IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN
20 FEB 2014: CP
IUI #1 Clomid 100mg 24 FEB 2014: BFN
IUI #2 Clomid 100mg 21 MAR 2014: BFN
IUI#3 Follistim & trigger 21 May 2014: BFN
IVF #1 Follistim & Menopur: 14R, 9M, 7F, transfered 2 day 3 8 cell embies
Beta #1: 7/30: 41 Beta #2 8/1: 96 Beta #3 8/4: 796 EDD:4/9/15
All WelcomeBFP 9/24/13 EDD 6/8/14 no HB at 1st U/S Stopped growing at 7 weeks D&C 11/01/13
BFP #1 8.6.2011 EDD 4.7.2012 DS1 born 3.30.2012
BFP #3 4.30.2014 EDD 1.10.2015 DS2 born 12.31.2014
1 miracle Earth baby and 5 Angel babies
~All welcome~
BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
BFP 6/29/2013 - EDD 3/16/14 - MMC 9/5/2013
April 2014 - - 1st ICI Cycle - BFP 5/15/14 EDD: 1/20/15
A/S 8-22-14 - Its a BOY!!
12/15 Checkup & heard his beautiful heartbeat
ALL WELCOME -
TTC Since 04/01/13
BFP #1 04/28/13 Its twins! EDD 01/08/2014 MMC confirmed 06/27/13 D&C 07/17/13
BFP#2 05/19/14 EDD 01/30/2015 Please be our rainbow!
My Ovulation Chart
*~*~* All AL Welcome*~*~*
*8.31.16* mc @ 8 weeks DnC {genetic testing, new medications upon next pregnancy}
*7.17.16* praying everyday for my rainbow baby {progesterone supplements, blood thinning injections}
DX: Septate Uterus. Septum resection 6/4/13
TTC since April 2012
BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013
BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013
6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)
IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab
IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!
FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN
Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus
IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos
Everyone welcome on my posts
My Ovulation Chart