@jpoindahouse lol we are so in the same boat! Except my DH sees me as this Earth Momma who should be a total natural at all things Motherhood, always graceful and easygoing, swooping the fussy baby up for a feed while I simultaneously make granola bars and hand wash laundry.
Yes, I'm a giant hippie. But I've never had a newborn before, I'm totally sleep deprived, I had a damn emerg c-section, and if I want to sit in my jammies and watch M*A*S*H while I boohoo about my boobs not working properly, then I'm gonna do it. >:-( It's like they don't want you to be human!
All of these women with DHs back at work who still take night shifts has me rethinking my whole position here. Of course I go back to work Tuesday so I only have two more nights anyway...hmm.
since we've been supplementing, mh has been getting up each time to make her bottle before heading back to bed. We're also waking to feed still, so he's getting woken up anyway when the alarm goes off, but I appreciate him putting the effort on to support us, even if he's only up for 10 min while I'm up for almost an hour doing the whole feeding routine. It works for us!
Suzy & Brian November 3, 2007 "...this one time, at band camp..." ;-)
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14
My Wedding Bio from back in the day
Wow ladies. This took a turn from the original question. My husband is very helpful, but nighttime is not when he jumps to get dd2. I am ok with that. It works for us. When we sleep train in a few months, he does the dirty work and when we know she doesn't want a boob, he deals with it. He is also in charge of the toddler at night if she wakes up. Lucky for him she seems immune to infants . That said, I am home, he goes to work, and one of us needs to be alert, it's him for now, but he knows better than to complain about being tired. His mom was asking him if he's getting enough sleep and if baby is letting him rest and I stared daggers at him until he told his mother he is fine and that I am the one who needs more rest. He does plenty of chores in the evening though and will take the girls so I can have down time. It's all about what works for YOU. now, I have an awesome toddler, but I'd love to know how this napping all day thing works...;)
Hallelujah, it's a miracle, I have children AND a signature!
My boyfriend just came home, held R for 10 minutes ate dinner while watching the news, and then went to bed because tired.
Yes, he worked all day. But he also had 8 hours of solid sleep, in the guest room last night. And had the weekend off where the most tiring thing he did was lift a glass of wine or the remote.
DH is working wonky shifts so it depends. If he doesn't work the next day he will usually take him for a few hours so I can sleep. He's most helpful with DS#1.
My boyfriend just came home, held R for 10 minutes ate dinner while watching the news, and then went to bed because tired.
Yes, he worked all day. But he also had 8 hours of solid sleep, in the guest room last night. And had the weekend off where the most tiring thing he did was lift a glass of wine or the remote.
Is my rage coming through clearly enough?
Holy shit. Men are such babies. This whole thread makes me want to kill them all.
Note time stamp on this post and caveat appropriately.
I'm confident my boyfriend could handle everything I do, milk producing aside, but chooses not to, which makes it worse. And I'm no help, because I would rather come across as super mom to him, than whine all the time. And I'm afraid if I tell him I need more help, he'll just ask his mom to come help me. **shivers at the thought**
DH doesn't help weeknights because he works. It's a stressful job, he's behind on projects. Plus he has been recently diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea (we are getting a CPAP hopefully soon now). A part of me feels like it is my job since I'm staying home on Maternity Leave while he's bringing home the bacon. Like PP 50s housewife & hubby comment. But when he takes her for a few hours in the evening and gets exasperated I want to be like "these 3 hours you did, thanks, but I do the other 21. You'll get no sympathy from me if she's fussy or poops on you" He did take a weekend night shift, but he also napped twice and went to bed at 8:30. Not the same as what I do.
I called in the Calvary yesterday. My mom is coming to stay with us for a few days. I need help, and if he can't, she is more than happy to.
I want to TP so many of these men. I really think it should be required for ALL husbands/boyfriends/partners to spend at least 24 hours alone with a baby, no assistance whatsoever. I feel like that would snap them into reality.
My H took LO on an errand this weekend, and when they came home 2 hours later, he looked utterly exhausted. Apparently, LO started wailing in the middle of the grocery store - he said he "started sweating a lot and almost ran out of the store." SNORT!
Re: How helpful is DH during the night?
Yes, I'm a giant hippie. But I've never had a newborn before, I'm totally sleep deprived, I had a damn emerg c-section, and if I want to sit in my jammies and watch M*A*S*H while I boohoo about my boobs not working properly, then I'm gonna do it. >:-( It's like they don't want you to be human!
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14 My Wedding Bio from back in the day
now, I have an awesome toddler, but I'd love to know how this napping all day thing works...;)
A part of me feels like it is my job since I'm staying home on Maternity Leave while he's bringing home the bacon. Like PP 50s housewife & hubby comment. But when he takes her for a few hours in the evening and gets exasperated I want to be like "these 3 hours you did, thanks, but I do the other 21. You'll get no sympathy from me if she's fussy or poops on you"
He did take a weekend night shift, but he also napped twice and went to bed at 8:30. Not the same as what I do.
I called in the Calvary yesterday. My mom is coming to stay with us for a few days. I need help, and if he can't, she is more than happy to.