I think this is weird.

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

Last week I had my stylist give me a chin-length a-line bob. I love it, and she cut a good six inches off my hair. I've gotten tons of compliments on it, but probably one in four women says something like "I would love to get my hair cut like that, but my husband would never let me."

I find this so odd. My H would never tell me what I can or can't do with my hair. I don't even ask his opinion.

Do you ask your DH for permission before you do something different to your hair?

JeffandLeslie · March 2014

I don't ask his permission. I might ask his opinion but I wouldn't give it more weight than a friend opinion if that makes sense. I think when women say this they don't actually mean their H wouldn't let them, but that he likes long hair, or they are worried they would somehow feel less sexy, or that they are too nervous to make a change. If a man literally doesn't let a woman change her appearance that is a whole different problem.

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2014

Nope. I actually like the opposite of everything dh prefers. Lol. I love my hair short--he likes it long. He would prefer I dress more conservatively in women's clothes but I prefer my juniors department stuff. Haha. I'm totally in denial about my age.

MomIn2013 · March 2014

I wouldn't ask his permission, but I know he thinks my long hair is sexy so I keep it long.

superToots · March 2014

For us it goes both ways, he prefers my hair long and straightened, and I prefer his beard neat and trimmed. But my hair is often wavy and currently about chin length. And he often looks like he could appear on duck dynasty.

alli2672 · March 2014

No. I don't know anyone who really would.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but that sounds like a little bit of a back-handed compliment, and sort of a bitchy thing to say.

Hollylb3 · March 2014

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

catycate · March 2014

Opinion, yes. Permission, no. I know he likes it longer but I chop it off every few years. I also don't look good in super short hair, so shoulder length is as short as I go.

lyingliarlies · March 2014

i think it's dramatic/inaccurate wording for the vast majority. i could think of several reasons why they'd say this, & what they really mean, but i don't think they're really being literal in their wording.

though i told DH he'd better not shave his full beard yet so who am i to talk :P

bhuffman · March 2014

My DH doesn't decide for me. However, he has mentioned that he likes it longer (and hilighted), so I do try to please him. I also like the highlights , and in the summer, I keep it shorter. Humidity is a pain in the summer here.

I don't like facial hair on men, so he keeps clean shaven for me. I see fair is fair.

notreallyirish · March 2014

I agree that it's likely an exaggeration, an excuse or a backhanded compliment. Maybe the angle is too modern or edgy for some women? Sounds cute to me, though.

The only consult DH gets regarding my hair is when I ask if he's off work so he can watch the kids during my appointment.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

I don't ask for DH permission but I know he doesn't like short hair so I would never cut it short. I love his beard and would be upset if he shaved it.

Mrs.Greg · March 2014

Uh no, I don't ask for permission. But I have a friend who says her DH doesn't want my friend's hair to be "too short" because then she'll look too much like his mom, which apparently isn't a good thing... I've seen this guy's mom and my friend doesn't resemble her at all. I suspect it's his way of saying he doesn't like short hair on women.

notreallyirish · March 2014

cjcouple said:
permission no, opinion yes

This is a good philosophy for marriage in general. Lol.

Arnegard · March 2014

DH likes my hair longer but I do have it in a shaggy chin length bob now. I do not ask, I just do.

nosoup4u · March 2014

No. I wouldn't be married to him if he thought I had to wear my hair long!

notkateanymore · March 2014

Oh I think you know my answer...but no. I bet I could guess a couple of people on here who don't cut their hair bc their husband "doesn't like it" though.

notkateanymore · March 2014

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

kalette · March 2014

I wouldn't ask DH, but I know he wouldn't think it looked good on me. He has always told me he doesn't like the look of short short hair on women, so I wouldn't do it based just on that.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

KateMW said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

Me too. A person's hair is all their own, it's part of your body. IMO you should totally do whatever makes you happy with your own body, you don't alter (or not alter it) because of your H's opinion.

That's ridiculous. I respect my husbands opinion and him mine. Does he get to make choices for me? No, but I do consider what he likes when I make choices for myself, just like he considers what I like. I like my hair long, so does DH. I like him with a beard. If he shaved it I would be fine with that too, but I do have preferences and so does he. What is so wrong with keeping theses preferences in mind?

MomIn2013 · March 2014

True story. On our first date, I discovered DH trimmed the hair on his chest and legs. I told him he should leave it alone, and he has ever since.

spring_time · March 2014

I keep his opinion in mind when cutting my hair, but if I really want to try something, I will. DH hates bangs, but I got them anyway. He still comments on the haircut when we see older pictures. Since I was kind of indifferent to the final look, and he really detests them, I don't think I will be getting bangs anytime soon.

In a conversation I might say, "DH forbids me from getting bangs." That doesn't mean I wouldn't do it anyway if I really wanted to. In most of those cases, I bet the women are either unsure or don't really want the haircut anyway.

ETA: I would hope he would also consider me. DH likes a really close cut to his hair, almost scalped. I don't like it that short, so he keeps it slightly longer, but still within his comfort zone.

bhuffman · March 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Hav=Fath said:

KateMW said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

Me too. A person's hair is all their own, it's part of your body. IMO you should totally do whatever makes you happy with your own body, you don't alter (or not alter it) because of your H's opinion.
That's ridiculous. I respect my husbands opinion and him mine. Does he get to make choices for me? No, but I do consider what he likes when I make choices for myself, just like he considers what I like. I like my hair long, so does DH. I like him with a beard. If he shaved it I would be fine with that too, but I do have preferences and so does he. What is so wrong with keeping theses preferences in mind?

I agree with Andrewsgal here. I mean, my DH loves me no matter what, long hair or short, but he likes longer hair on me. I don't mind wearing it longer (except in the summer) and that's an easy way to show him I've taken his opinion in mind. He also likes when I'm dressed up so I like to make an effort every now and then. It doesn't mean he loves me any less when I'm in work out clothes or jeans, it just means he likes a certain way better

He also likes chocolate ice cream. I don't always buy chocolate , but I do often because I love him.

notkateanymore · March 2014

Andrewsgal said:

KateMW said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

Me too. A person's hair is all their own, it's part of your body. IMO you should totally do whatever makes you happy with your own body, you don't alter (or not alter it) because of your H's opinion.
That's ridiculous. I respect my husbands opinion and him mine. Does he get to make choices for me? No, but I do consider what he likes when I make choices for myself, just like he considers what I like. I like my hair long, so does DH. I like him with a beard. If he shaved it I would be fine with that too, but I do have preferences and so does he. What is so wrong with keeping theses preferences in mind?

There is a difference between what you are saying and what Holly is saying...preference and opinion is one thing. Not cutting your hair bc your husband likes it long is like one Duggar away from a cult.

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

I guess I'm the weird one, then. After 9 years of marriage, I have absolutely no idea how my husband prefers my hair.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

Mrs.Hizzo said:
I guess I'm the weird one, then. After 9 years of marriage, I have absolutely no idea how my husband prefers my hair.

Really? You don't know what your DH finds attractive? I can look at any female a know by what she looks like and what she is wearing if she would be DH's type.

rockyrollgirl · March 2014

He dosn't really have a strong opinion unless we are talking about pixie cuts, which, would look terrible on me anyway.

Mrs.Hizzo · March 2014

Andrewsgal said:

I guess I'm the weird one, then. After 9 years of marriage, I have absolutely no idea how my husband prefers my hair.
Really? You don't know what your DH finds attractive? I can look at any female a know by what she looks like and what she is wearing if she would be DH's type.

I know that he finds me attractive, I guess? He's never kicked me out of bed when I got a haircut.

jensriot · March 2014

Kimbus22 said:

The minute either one of us said we needed to give "permission" for anything is the minute the other person would laugh themselves right out of the room to do the exact opposite.

Word. DH doesn't care what my hair looks like. He is thrilled if I like the cut because I'm much less likely to bitch about it. Same with him.

I do have someone close to me that won't cut her daughters' hair because her H likes their hair long. They throw a fit when she takes them for trims because their dad won't like it anymore. Freaking creepy.

Andrewsgal · March 2014

Hav=Fath said:
AG - your H isn't one of those that points out attractive women, is he? I know a man like this, I hate him for doing it to his wife all the time.

I know my H likes red heads but other than that, I couldn't pick out women he'd think was pretty.

Um hell no he wouldn't have any balls left. I know he refers long hair, brown hair to blond, low maintenance, etc.

Chapter79 · March 2014

Considering it's my hair and my body and choice.... no. And if he required permission, I wouldn't have likely married him. Because I don't roll like that. Maybe in the 1800's? He does prefer long as a preference- but I've had short hair, and then he says "that's pretty- different, refreshing!" so I don't actually think he cares much at all.

Hollylb3 · March 2014

KateMW said:

Andrewsgal said:

Hav=Fath said:

KateMW said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

Me too. A person's hair is all their own, it's part of your body. IMO you should totally do whatever makes you happy with your own body, you don't alter (or not alter it) because of your H's opinion.

That's ridiculous. I respect my husbands opinion and him mine. Does he get to make choices for me? No, but I do consider what he likes when I make choices for myself, just like he considers what I like. I like my hair long, so does DH. I like him with a beard. If he shaved it I would be fine with that too, but I do have preferences and so does he. What is so wrong with keeping theses preferences in mind?

There is a difference between what you are saying and what Holly is saying...preference and opinion is one thing. Not cutting your hair bc your husband likes it long is like one Duggar away from a cult.

Hardly. I like to know that he loves my hair. Is that wrong? He would love me the same if it were short, and has told me so repeatedly. He just likes long hair. I usually do too. At this particular stage in life, it'd be more convenient to have it short, but I just pull it back while ds is awake. When he's past the hair pulling stage, I don't have to worry about growing it back out.

If I really preferred my hair short, believe me, I'd cut it. But I like it too.

LoriLee14 · March 2014

I know my husband likes longer hair but he doesn't get a say.

Right after we got married I went and cut 11 inches off. It was up to bottom of my skull.

TMI: he liked it because he didn't have to hold my hair while giving oral sex

bumpuser924057 · March 2014

Well, this is timely. I actually just cut all of my hair off yesterday after threatening to do it for almost two years. My H was not at all happy or supportive of this decision, and I have taken his opinion into consideration for a while now but finally got to the point where I just don't give a shit. So, off it came, and he will have to learn to live with it.

And FWIW, I didn't need "permission," nor did I get permission to finally go through with it, but hacking off 14 inches of hair is kind of a drastic change and I did want him to be OK with the idea. My mom was just as vocal about me not doing it and I had to tell her to stuff it too.

kcisthebombdotcom · March 2014

I don't know--I feel like my dh would rather have me confident in my appearance than looking a certain way for his preference. I think confidence is sexier than conforming into what his "type" is, Kwim? His favorite look is makeup free in yoga pants and he gets that a lot.

. When I go out/do my hair I wear what I feel best in.

Hollylb3 · March 2014

KC_13 said:
I don't know--I feel like my dh would rather have me confident in my appearance than looking a certain way for his preference. I think confidence is sexier than conforming into what his "type" is, Kwim? His favorite look is makeup free in yoga pants and he gets that a lot. . When I go out/do my hair I wear what I feel best in.

I actually feel way more confident with long hair, and I think that's part of it for me too. I just feel prettier that way, and knowing he likes it that way gives me more confidence too. Convenience just isn't enough of a reason to cut it for now.

bumpuser924057 · March 2014

Kimbus22 said:

thecheshirekat said:

Well, this is timely. I actually just cut all of my hair off yesterday after threatening to do it for almost two years. My H was not at all happy or supportive of this decision, and I have taken his opinion into consideration for a while now but finally got to the point where I just don't give a shit. So, off it came, and he will have to learn to live with it.

And FWIW, I didn't need "permission," nor did I get permission to finally go through with it, but hacking off 14 inches of hair is kind of a drastic change and I did want him to be OK with the idea. My mom was just as vocal about me not doing it and I had to tell her to stuff it too.

Good for you for giving it a try anyway! Do you like it?

I feel AMAZING. I may have to go back and have her thin it out a little because my hair is way fluffier than I would have expected when it gets this short so it's looking a little mushroomy, but even that is preferable to the trademark greasy ponytail I've been rocking for so long. I might have to give myself a "night out" at Target tonight and have a hair product and accessory shopping spree

.

sschwege · March 2014

Not permission, but I know DH likes my hair longer, so I only get it cut twice a year and only to my collar bone because that's what he likes. So I guess I keep his preferences in mind when I do anything? But then again sometimes I ask DH to get his hair cut because it's getting too long and he does, so it goes both ways.

zbeesma86 · March 2014

Opinion yes. But he's never said don't cut your hair short.

If I had to ask permission to do something to MY hair I'd expect it to be a 2 way street. I could tell him what he could & couldn't do.

For those hubby's that don't like short hair & you want it short, cut it and just wear a wig to bed

notkateanymore · March 2014

Hollylb3 said:

Andrewsgal said:

KateMW said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.

Me too. A person's hair is all their own, it's part of your body. IMO you should totally do whatever makes you happy with your own body, you don't alter (or not alter it) because of your H's opinion.
That's ridiculous. I respect my husbands opinion and him mine. Does he get to make choices for me? No, but I do consider what he likes when I make choices for myself, just like he considers what I like. I like my hair long, so does DH. I like him with a beard. If he shaved it I would be fine with that too, but I do have preferences and so does he. What is so wrong with keeping theses preferences in mind?

There is a difference between what you are saying and what Holly is saying...preference and opinion is one thing. Not cutting your hair bc your husband likes it long is like one Duggar away from a cult.
Hardly. I like to know that he loves my hair. Is that wrong? He would love me the same if it were short, and has told me so repeatedly. He just likes long hair. I usually do too. At this particular stage in life, it'd be more convenient to have it short, but I just pull it back while ds is awake. When he's past the hair pulling stage, I don't have to worry about growing it back out. If I really preferred my hair short, believe me, I'd cut it. But I like it too.

You said the words "I would love to cut it all off, but..." Umm...

notkateanymore · March 2014

scatteredtrees said:

Hollylb3 said:

Not permission, but definitely opinion. I've had long hair ever since we've been together (since forever, actually). I would love to cut it all off, but I know he likes it long, so I keep it. He tells me over and over to do what makes me happy, but I can't do it, lol.

Good lord. This actually makes me want to throw up.
How is this different than what AG said?

If a person likes their hair the way their husband likes it, fine. If they say "They'd love to cut it all off, but..." because they know their husband likes it a certain way...that makes me want to throw up. I mean, I ask my husband's opinion, but of course he also knows better than to give it to me.

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