having another after twins?

curlywhirly · March 2014

Hi MOMs!

I've been nearly absent from the board for two years, since my twins were born. I have a 4 year old and the twins are two. Now that the twins are two, it feels like things are so much easier and under control.

Recently I've been feeling like I'd love to have another baby. I know it would be crazy in the beginning (and super crazy if I happened to have twins again...) but I love having these children and being a mother. It makes me sad to think of never having a baby again, and the experience of having two at a time was so different than having just one. I'd love to experience one baby again.

How do you decide whether or not to have more children? I'd love to hear from people who decided to have more after having multiples.

How do I know if I really want more, or if it's just painful to realize how quickly they grow up and how fleeting this time of having young children is?

TheDairyQueenx3 · March 2014

I'm in the similar spot. I have a 4 yr old and my twin boys are 3.5 months. And baby fever is starting to kick in. We have a really hard time when it comes to TTC so we will actively start in 3 months. I'm EBF so I doubt anything will happen until they self ween. Ideally I want my twins to be potty trained but if it happens sooner that's ok too. Currently NTNP.

For us it's just that our family doesn't feel complete. For either my DH or myself. And financially adding one more we would still be ok. With my twins I feel like I'm not getting to fully enjoy every moment because I'm split between the two constantly and it's so routine. I too want the singleton once more before I'm done. I am so glad I got to be one of the 3% but I do want what I had with my first once more.

I'm not sure how I will feel when our last is born. I love pregnancy and the baby stage and I wish it was a lot longer. If you feel ready I say go for it!

If you look back couple of pages a similar question was asked a few days ago

it was worded different but it may help too. And also welcome back!

ceechie · March 2014

I have 4- I had two singletons before the twins. It's a little different from what you're asking, but just wanted to say that it's so fun and I love my big, wild family!

xoexpat · March 2014

I think we recently had another thread about this...but I feel ya with the baby fever! Mine kicked in when my twins were around 6 months. DH is not sold on the idea of having more. I think if they'd been born individually it would've been different. I'm giving us some time before I start panicking that I will never have another newborn...

karah4816 · March 2014

My twins are only 3 months old but I know I want to try for one more when they're older. I just don't want to accept only having one pregnancy and one year of baby in my life. My husband is not convinced but he really enjoys them being babies and I think once they grow into the toddler stage I'll be able to convince him.

j&j508 · March 2014

We have a third, who was born just after my twins turned two. We knew we wanted more, as we always have. Twins was tough, but not tough enough to dissuade us.

I also felt a little shortchanged in a way: if we just had the twins, I would only be pregnant once, both kids would go to school/college at once, etc. Plus, I wanted to know what it was like to just have one. And, we love kids. So, we have a third and I don't regret it for a second. We're not signing up for a fourth any time soon, but maybe in a few years...

ShannonSky · March 2014

We had two singletons and now are pregnant with twins and four is enough for us. DH always wanted 2, I wanted 3, and now we'll have 4. We're beginning to feel maxed out on resources (we are house hunting now and it's WAY harder than I thought to find a 4 bedroom house). I do anticipate feeling pretty sad when we hit all the milestones and they are our last. Even this pregnancy, it's tough because I want to really remember all the details, but twin pregnancy is HARD. But logistically/financially, 4 is it for us.

mommywilliams2b · March 2014

Hey!

Our twins are just fixing to turn two, and we have a 7 month old baby. She was a big surprise, but a blessing all the same.
It really wasn't that bad at all. It is a LOT of work, but if you love doing it then it isn't dreadful. I have my days where I get tired, but who doesn't.
I do feel like the twins really grew up a bunch since the lo was born. I couldn't give them my undivided attention anymore and so they started relying more on each other and themselves as far as playing and what not. But in this short time they have become very close and almost inseparable. It is crazy how a baby can change so many dynamics in one household.
If you feel like you want another, and feel like you can handle it then by all means, have another baby!

rn8 · March 2014

We will have our singleton when our twins just turn 2. Like @j&j508 said, we felt a little shortchanged too. And, I always wanted 3 kids. I expect it'll be crazy. I didn't want to look back in 5 years and regret not having the 3rd. So crazy>regret.

megs2011 · March 2014

We only wanted 2. Then we got pregnant with the twins. I felt shortchanged as well. I partly decided for me when I was pregnant with the twins that a 3rd might be in our future. I think if I had Z and then E 2 years down the road, I would have been done for sure. Now I'm pregnant with #3.

macchiatto · March 2014

My boys are 5. I have really wanted another since around the time they turned 2 (though there are days I question my sanity

) but DH has not felt ready to even think about it. I had a surprise BFP and m/c this summer and my baby fever has been really intense since then. DH and I are planning to talk this spring about whether to TTC or not. I wouldn't want to put it off much longer, but we'll see.

melcass · March 2014

My twins are 20 months old and I just had our fourth a week ago. I also have a 5 year old. So far it is going very well. My twins love the baby. I'm sure I will have my hard days but I am LOVING one baby and enjoying cuddling him!!

macchiatto · March 2014

j&j508 said:

We have a third, who was born just after my twins turned two. We knew we wanted more, as we always have. Twins was tough, but not tough enough to dissuade us. I also felt a little shortchanged in a way: if we just had the twins, I would only be pregnant once, both kids would go to school/college at once, etc. Plus, I wanted to know what it was like to just have one. And, we love kids. So, we have a third and I don't regret it for a second. We're not signing up for a fourth any time soon, but maybe in a few years...

I totally identify with this. If our two had been born in two different pregnancies, I might feel more ready to be "done." It's something I find my singleton mom friends don't "get" since I already have 2 kids. Some people--MoMs and singleton parents alike--say how nice to kind of get everything over with at once, but I don't feel that way at all. Sure, those stages have their challenges but I never wanted to just "get it over with" and never experience any of it for a second time.

megs2011 · March 2014

macchiatto said:

j&j508 said:

We have a third, who was born just after my twins turned two. We knew we wanted more, as we always have. Twins was tough, but not tough enough to dissuade us. I also felt a little shortchanged in a way: if we just had the twins, I would only be pregnant once, both kids would go to school/college at once, etc. Plus, I wanted to know what it was like to just have one. And, we love kids. So, we have a third and I don't regret it for a second. We're not signing up for a fourth any time soon, but maybe in a few years...

I totally identify with this. If our two had been born in two different pregnancies, I might feel more ready to be "done." It's something I find my singleton mom friends don't "get" since I already have 2 kids. Some people--MoMs and singleton parents alike--say how nice to kind of get everything over with at once, but I don't feel that way at all. Sure, those stages have their challenges but I never wanted to just "get it over with" and never experience any of it for a second time.

@macchiatto I know what you mean. Every single one of my singleton mom friends always told me how lucky I was to get twins on the first try and only have to go through everything once. I guess I was different because I enjoyed the newborn phase. Sure it was tough, especially with 2 but I'm doing it again! And I can't wait for my snuggly newborn!

macchiatto · March 2014

@megs2011, I'm excited for you that you get to experience it again, and with one this time!

Come back and let us know what it's like!
How is your pregnancy going so far? What's it been like so far taking care of twin toddlers while pg?

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