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Ettiquite Question.

CVisloCVislo member
in May 2014 Moms
So my MIL has asked me what we still need for the baby. A few friends have asked me as well. I created a registry and when people ask, I send them a link to it. My MIL thinks it would be a good idea to create an event on Facebook and invite only certain people so that those people can have a link to my registry and I won't have to send it out to 50 different people. However, I'm not sure how to do this without looking or feeling tacky.

I live in Japan. A baby shower isn't an option due to this. This is my second boy. My pregnancies are 5 years apart and we've gotten rid of most of our baby things. So we need things, but it's nothing we can't get ourselves. My MIL is thinking that it would not be tacky because we live so far away and it's honestly the easiest way to go about this and include everyone who would want to be included.

What do you ladies think? Tacky? Not tacky due to circumstances?
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Re: Ettiquite Question.

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  • MimalooMimaloo member
    I definitely wouldn't be sending a mass link to my registry. I'm not sure how to make that not seem tacky. 

    Let whomever wants to be included ask or just send you something if they want to. 
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  • usernewnameusernewname member
    Sending the link to people not asking for it - not a good idea.

    My friend called me to ask if I was registered and I said I was. But my other friend hasn't asked for it but has been asking about brands so I feel awkward in bringing up my registry unless she specifically asks about what I want/need.
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  • ErikaLynn75ErikaLynn75 member
    Just continue sending the link to people who ask for it. I definitely wouldn't create an event invite for something that's not actually an event, just to share the registry. That just comes off as "please buy me a present." 
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  • CVisloCVislo member
    I was thinking that there is no way to make this not tacky. But my MIL thinks it would be fine considering I live halfway across the world. I just registered using Amazon's baby registry because not all stores will ship to our address because it's a PO box at an APO/FPO location. I didn't want to hassle anyone with needing to check multiple registries before they purchased something. This unfortunately means that my family will not have access to my registry because they do not have computers or internet or anything like that. So for them, I'd literally need to just send them a letter or call them to let them know the things we need.
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  • CVisloCVislo member

    ErikaLynn75 said:
    Just continue sending the link to people who ask for it. I definitely wouldn't create an event invite for something that's not actually an event, just to share the registry. That just comes off as "please buy me a present." 
    This was my thinking as well. And I am definitely not asking people to buy me or my child presents. I didn't even want a baby shower with my first child because I was so uncomfortable with the idea of people giving things to me and my unborn child. It just felt so weird. And now, I feel uncomfortable with even having a registry just because it's my second child and it's the same gender as my first child.
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  • MrsT2008MrsT2008 member
    ErikaLynn75 said:
    Just continue sending the link to people who ask for it. I definitely wouldn't create an event invite for something that's not actually an event, just to share the registry. That just comes off as "please buy me a present." 
    Agreed.  Just send the link to people who ask, and I think it's okay for your mom and MIL to have the link too in case people ask them.  I would ask that your MIL NOT create a FB event though - that's definitely crossing a line.
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  • limechiffonlimechiffon member
    I really don't think it takes that much time to reply to an email and say "Thank you for thinking of us, we're registered at Amazon." Even if I had to do it 50 times. So yeah, another vote to just send to those who ask.

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  • hfooterhfooter member
    Yah, I'd say that'd be tacky. Just keep doing what you have been doing.

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  • MissLadyTayMissLadyTay member
    CVislo said:

    I was thinking that there is no way to make this not tacky. But my MIL thinks it would be fine considering I live halfway across the world. I just registered using Amazon's baby registry because not all stores will ship to our address because it's a PO box at an APO/FPO location. I didn't want to hassle anyone with needing to check multiple registries before they purchased something. This unfortunately means that my family will not have access to my registry because they do not have computers or internet or anything like that. So for them, I'd literally need to just send them a letter or call them to let them know the things we need.

    Your MIL is wrong. It's your second baby. You sound like you want to Facebook-invite the link. But you asked about the etiquette and my answer - that it's rude to send the registry to anyone who doesn't ask - doesn't change because of where you live.
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  • spinsoffresonancespinsoffresonance member
    I think it's tacky to send out registry info to people who haven't asked about it, let alone create a FB event for it. The fact that you live abroad doesn't seem relevant at all. Just keep sending the link to the registry when someone asks you about it.
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