One baby cying while other is getting fed

SamanthaJoD · February 2014

Hi fellow MoMs,

I'm new at this twin mommy thing. I've been mainly pumping breast milk and bottle feeding. I'm on my own for most of the feedings. Sometimes I try feeding both babies at the same time if they're both awake, but normally I just do one at a time.

This has probably been asked before but I couldn't find it by searching. My question is, how do you handle the situation when you're feeding one twin, and the other starts crying ? Today my first baby was fed, changed, and seemed sleepy so I put her down for a nap while I started feeding the second baby. After a while the first baby started fussing and crying! Do you normally just let the crying twin cry? Do you put down the twin you're feeding to attend to the crying twin? In my case I let her cry while I continued with the second baby's feeding, I felt bad doing it but she settled down on her own after a few minutes. Just wondering what other MoMs do. Thanks!

kgs0505 · February 2014

If I know she's okay (fed, changed, not in trouble or lying on something pokey), I will leave them to cry for a few minutes. They usually stop on their own. If they get really angry or screamy I'll attend them then. Yours are still really young, but you probably want to try and start feeding them together. It'll make life much easier once you get used to it. I used to stick mine in the same boppy when they were that little and feed them together. Or, you can put the one that's fed in the RNP or bouncy somewhere and put that near your foot, so you can rock it or bounce it, or close enough to place your hand on her so she knows you're nearby.

JordynLeighx3 · February 2014

I would highly encourage feeding at the same time. In fact, my life became much easier when I pumped and bottle fed them both all at the same time. That way I wasn't tied down to the pump when they needed me...this way they're both occupied.

Kill 3 birds with 1 stone

JoDoc · February 2014

Ok, I have to ask a bit more about this question, as I need advice too. I bottle feed. Yes, that would make it easier to feed both at the same time, but what about burping? Obviously you can't burp 2 babies at the same time (mine are 3 months), and with mine they have to be held upright for a short while, as they have reflux. I have them in little chairs on the floor and I sit there next to them while I'm feeding one, so I can attend to the fussy one, but it is so frustrating when you can't feed 2 at the same time and when one is fed and settled but sees you so wants to be held, but if he doesn't see you he cries because he's lonely (?)....ugh! I never change my voice, showing frustration AT them or to them at all. But the fact that I still have hair on my head amazes me some days.

Any suggestions for me?

JordynLeighx3 · February 2014

You can burp too babies at once. Lay one over your lap while the other over your shoulder.

seawater · February 2014

It took me a while to figure out how to bottle feed them together, but I found that it really simplified our lives when I finally got it down. For me it was easier to feed together in the beginning because I wasn't rushing through one task to get to the other one. I could focus on feeding, then spend more quality time with them and not feel so frazzled (wondering when the other one would start crying) This is what I did:

If they're both getting hungry at the same time, I try to anticipate when the next feeding will be so I can be ready before they get to that screaming feed me right this very second stage. I sit on the floor with my back against the couch with a baby on each side of me. I have the portable high chairs that attach to the top of a dining room chair (great investment BTW) I put the babies in their high chairs on the ground. That way, they are always in an upright position and right next to me if one ends up needing more attention than the other. You could try boppys or bouncy seats too, whatever works for you. As far as the burping, you can try stopping their bottles at the same time, pick up one and burp, switch, then burp the other. Mine weren't that patient in the beginning, so I tried burping them at the same time (two on shoulder or one on shoulder one on their tummy on your lap) but never really got the hang of that. Instead, I would take a blanket and prop the bottle up for one as I burped the other, quick switch and burp the second one. I know you're not 'supposed to' prop bottles, but it's only for a few seconds and I was sitting right there if anything happened. It's really just a trial and error thing. Good luck and I hope it starts getting easier for you!

(edit: sorry about the weird text and layout..not sure how that happened)

jeephappygirl · February 2014

As they get a little bigger it does get a little easier with the burping. I often prop the bottles while I'm burping one. Like someone else said, propping is frowned upon but I really don't see an issue if you are right there. We have had a few little coughs and the bottle always falls right out. If necessary I pick up that baby and prop the other. Mine still only take 3 oz and I feel like the bottles are really light anyway. I usually do two boppys or 1 boppy next to me and rnp in front of me. I also try to pump at the same time. Lots of people burp on the boppy too. Just roll baby over and pat their back. I follow their lead. Somedays we are on the same schedule sometimes we aren't. I can get things done around the house when it's the same but also cherish the one on one time when it's different. I will also put one in the crook of my leg while burping the other now that they sit with support.

katiebenes · February 2014

If I know he's okay... I leave him. John is a jealous, jealous baby. (Caleb never cries if he's okay)

ceechie · February 2014

I could never figure out feedin at same time. I tried over and over and it was just overwhelming to me.
That said, it is harder. One always gets jealous or upset while I feed the other. It usually tends to be the more sensitive of the two. It's hard. But it's usually not too long and I make sure they're safe. If I go help the other and unlatch, then I tend to have two very upset babies.

ceechie · February 2014

Here's a pic of how they now mess with the other during feedings! Penelope was pulling Evie's diaper off while I breastfeed! Nuts!

SamanthaJoD · February 2014

Thanks all for the helpful suggestions! Sounds like I really need to learn to feed both at the same time! We will start working towards that! It's tricky now since they are so small, we haven't even reached our due date yet and usually one baby is still sleepy while the other is dying of hunger. I'm sure it will get easier when they start getting bigger, thanks again!

bumpuser924057 · February 2014

At eight months I still can't consistently feed them at the same time. In the beginning I just told myself that crying for ten minutes never hurt anyone, so I'd nurse one twin for ten minutes while the other cried, then switch, then switch back, and repeat until they were both quiet and/or sleeping. It was hell, but I couldn't really figure out another way to get it done. Even now, bedtime always involves one of them crying while the other gets a supplement bottle, and then the one who got the bottle first cries in the crib while the next one eats, then the first one gets nursed while the second one cries.

You'll figure out something that works for you.

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