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Kick me and tell me I'm being too sensitive.
kcisthebombdotcom
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So dd never wears a winter coat or gloves. She has sensory issues and she screams and rips them off so I do layers instead with a vest on top. Her teacher asked me about it and I explained how its difficult to get clothes on her never mind a heavy jacket. Today the school social worker called and shared some resources to help out. I know I should feel like they're being nice and trying to help me solve an issue I vented about but it made me feel like I couldn't properly care for my kid or something. Tell me I'm being foolish please.
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Re: Kick me and tell me I'm being too sensitive.
It's normal to have those feelings. Oy, I'd be embarrassed! But I would simply explain the situation to the social worker and thank them for their concern. How cold is it where you are? DS isn't a fan of cold weather gear either, but it is a necessity here in MN where it has been below zero most of the winter. They go outside when the wind chill is at least 0 degrees. I've received some notes when he forgot his snow pants- they still make him go out, and he has to borrow a pair from the lost and found. They are very strict about clothing. If he had serious sensory issues I'd probably have to add it to his IEP to get a variance from clothing rules. We've been getting notes about his shoes. They keep falling off because he is always on his toes and he doesn't have the dexterity to pull the velcro strap very hard. I've asked them to help us out- and they're doing an ABA approach to him taking his boots off and shoes on each morning when he gets to school. And I am always on the hunt for better shoes.
Clothing drama sucks. Try not to let it bother you!
DS doesn't like anything long-sleeved - period. With the polar vortex this year, we've now fought and negotiated to the point where he will put on a jacket (anything long sleeved with a zipper is a jacket btw) as long we clarify that he can take it off when we get where we are going. But once he is at school he takes everything off down to his t-shirt. His teacher always seems concerned about the fact that he's in a short-sleeve. And it is not cold in their room.
I try not to take it as a comment on my parenting but it's annoying all the same.
Well her teacher tried to give me a coat yesterday--I'm guessing they assumed I didn't have one for her. I thanked them because she was happily wearing it and explained that while she does have a big coat she just refuses it and if she would actually wear the extra coat they had for any period of time I would gladly accept. Of course in front of her teacher she was a perfect angel until we got halfway to the car and she was screaming like I beat her and ripping it off. Lol. I really feel like when I ask for advice that we're on two different pages. She's so compliant and social at school so when I ask for advice on issues we have at home her teachers are like really??!!? We don't see that at all. Sigh. Lol I think it was more the line of intervention to help her (or I hope) as yesterday was 35 out and they go outside on days that temperature or warmer but it still rubbed me the wrong way and it probably shouldn't have.
I never really thought of it but maybe. Or she could be just so distracted that its on her mind less than at home. We don't do aba. We are in a climate where it does get cold but it really doesn't affect our lives. On the exceptionally cold days she's only going in and out of the car and isn't spending any period of time outside and it's not like she'd even wear a winter coat in her car seat anyway. On snow days ds and I play outside while she takes her two hour nap. When its 40 or better she can handle being outside in a long sleeve shirt, fleece sweatshirt and vest for 15 minutes without fear of hypothermia.
I debated posting, but thought that some of you probably are not aware that in many states (mine included), as a mandated reporter I am legally required to report to our school social worker when a child comes to school without proper clothing for the temperature. In our state, if a child comes to school 3 times without a coat when the weather is below 40, it has to be reported. The social worker is then legally required to contact the family and offer assistance. As a teacher, I don't get to make a "judgement call" about it. It is law is very black and white and like it or not, I have to follow it or risk losing my job and certification.
Does it stink, yes, but I agree with a pp in being proactive and talking to your child's teacher and IEP manager about this if you know clothing is an area of struggle. You can avoid the social worker call because an action plan can be formulated.
I'm actually really glad you posted. It being a policy the school follows makes me feel like less of a crappy mom. In my everyday life it never really was a battle worth fighting because it didn't have that negative an impact on our lives. If this is going to be an issue every school year Maybe it is a battle I want to fight at three. Thank you so much for the insight/commiseration everyone.