UO Thursday.

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

Texasmomma13 said:

MommyKristin88 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

petey1106 said:

@mommykristin88 so those kids should just stay in orphanages rather than go to a loving home? That was kind of a fucked up thing to say. My chinese sister is doing just fine in America. Sorry we did her such a disservice by giving her a chance at life. She would've died in that orphanage if white families (mine) weren't allowed to adopt her. I would love to adopt a Chinese child sometime down the road but apparently that would be a disservice to him/her.
Again, I did not say they should just stay in orphanages.
So what are you saying?
From my understanding she is saying the only people that should've been allowed to adopt my sister are Chinese. Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.
I understood that. I just feel like there is some back peddling, so maybe she would like to revise what she said. Edit I still need coffee

No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?
Maybe because the majority of adoptive parents happen to be white.

I wonder why that is. I read some articles in a sociology class about how minorities do not feel they are "allowed" to adopt. Basically, some of the people being interviewed were saying they feel adoption is meant for certain types of people (rich and/or white people). I'm going to try to find it again.

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

Cosmic+Love said:

MommyKristin88 said:

The adoption topic reminds me of something I don't like:

I don't think interracial adoptions should be allowed. I think it is doing the child a major disservice for them to be raised by someone that doesn't truly understand what the child will deal with. This relates to racism.

As an African-American there are things I deal with that, say, a Caucasian person does not. I was prepared for these things, mostly, because my mother told me of her experiences and what to look out for. What if I had been raised by someone of a different race? Would they have known what to prepare me for? I especially think about African-American males. The amount of racism and prejudice they still encounter in modern America exceeds what I deal with. Would someone of a different race have been able to prepare them for that?

And, just because I'm curious based on a study I read, has anyone heard of a black family adopting a white child??

What if an interracial couple (black/white) has a child and the child's father (black) is no longer in the picture?

Sorry I missed this one. That is a valid point that I hadn't considered.

rooftop · February 2014

petey1106 said:

petey1106 said:

@mommykristin88 so those kids should just stay in orphanages rather than go to a loving home? That was kind of a fucked up thing to say. My chinese sister is doing just fine in America. Sorry we did her such a disservice by giving her a chance at life. She would've died in that orphanage if white families (mine) weren't allowed to adopt her. I would love to adopt a Chinese child sometime down the road but apparently that would be a disservice to him/her.
Again, I did not say they should just stay in orphanages.
So what are you saying?
From my understanding she is saying the only people that should've been allowed to adopt my sister are Chinese. Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.

or is it just that whites should be restricted from adopting other ethnicities?
ETA quoted wrong person

TrueBeliever925 · February 2014

MommyKristin88 said:

TrueBeliever925 said:

MommyKristin88 said:

No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?
Because you said you didn't think biracial adoption should be allowed. In your world... everyone assumes correctly that those children wouldn't be adopted by a family of a different race.

I think I'm misunderstanding you.

I'm saying just because the child isn't adopted by someone of another race, it doesn't mean they won't be adopted. I feel like you all are overlooking that someone of the same race would adopt the child.

"One of three children adopted from foster care have been adopted by parents of a different race. Whereas a majority of adopted children are non-white, the majority of these children’s adoptive parents are white (73 percent)."

https://www.childrensrights.org/issues-resources/adoption/facts-about-adoption/

Of course I didn't say it, but I was getting at that the majority of adoptive parents are white in non-white children adoptions.

Revez · February 2014

Penises are gross.

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

rooftop said:

petey1106 said:

petey1106 said:

@mommykristin88 so those kids should just stay in orphanages rather than go to a loving home? That was kind of a fucked up thing to say. My chinese sister is doing just fine in America. Sorry we did her such a disservice by giving her a chance at life. She would've died in that orphanage if white families (mine) weren't allowed to adopt her. I would love to adopt a Chinese child sometime down the road but apparently that would be a disservice to him/her.
Again, I did not say they should just stay in orphanages.
So what are you saying?
From my understanding she is saying the only people that should've been allowed to adopt my sister are Chinese. Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.
so... because of the color of my skin, I shouldn't be qualified to adopt certain children? That doesn't sound racist at all...(eye roll) but of course it couldn't be racism since I'm white and everyone knows you can't be racist towards a white person.:-@

OK, I didn't say you can't be racist towards a white person. I don't even believe that to be truth. Now you're just commenting with any race related thing you can think of.

I posted a UO, as the thread calls for. You don't have to share my opinion; that's the point. I don't have an issue discussing this, but I'm not going to go back and forth with you about all race related stereotypes that I did not say or are not related to the topic.

TrueBeliever925 · February 2014

Revez said:

Penises are gross.

rooftop · February 2014

MommyKristin88 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

petey1106 said:

@mommykristin88 so those kids should just stay in orphanages rather than go to a loving home? That was kind of a fucked up thing to say. My chinese sister is doing just fine in America. Sorry we did her such a disservice by giving her a chance at life. She would've died in that orphanage if white families (mine) weren't allowed to adopt her. I would love to adopt a Chinese child sometime down the road but apparently that would be a disservice to him/her.
Again, I did not say they should just stay in orphanages.
So what are you saying?
From my understanding she is saying the only people that should've been allowed to adopt my sister are Chinese. Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.
I understood that. I just feel like there is some back peddling, so maybe she would like to revise what she said. Edit I still need coffee

No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?

so... because of the color of my skin, I shouldn't be qualified to adopt certain children? That doesn't sound racist at all...(eye roll) but of course it couldn't be racism since I'm white and everyone knows you can't be racist towards a white person. :-@ I think you need to take off your rose colored glasses and realize there are a lot of children already in the system from not having enough adoptive people and reducing the amount of people who qualify based on such a superficial thing as skin color is only doing those children more disservice.

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

rooftop said:

MommyKristin88 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

petey1106 said:

@mommykristin88 so those kids should just stay in orphanages rather than go to a loving home? That was kind of a fucked up thing to say. My chinese sister is doing just fine in America. Sorry we did her such a disservice by giving her a chance at life. She would've died in that orphanage if white families (mine) weren't allowed to adopt her. I would love to adopt a Chinese child sometime down the road but apparently that would be a disservice to him/her.
Again, I did not say they should just stay in orphanages.
So what are you saying?
From my understanding she is saying the only people that should've been allowed to adopt my sister are Chinese. Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.
I understood that. I just feel like there is some back peddling, so maybe she would like to revise what she said. Edit I still need coffee

No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?
so... because of the color of my skin, I shouldn't be qualified to adopt certain children? That doesn't sound racist at all...(eye roll) but of course it couldn't be racism since I'm white and everyone knows you can't be racist towards a white person. :-@ I think you need to take off your rose colored glasses and realize there are a lot of children already in the system from not having enough adoptive people and reducing the amount of people who qualify based on such a superficial thing as skin color is only doing those children more disservice.

Which relates to the other point I brought up. I know there's a shortage of non-white adoptive parents, but why is that? I've been trying to understand why non-whites are less likely to adopt.

TrueBeliever925 · February 2014

HauntedRadio said:

Penises are gross.
Popular opinion?

I agree. Penis' aren't the most fun to look at and are just weird.

rooftop · February 2014

MommyKristin88 said:

rooftop said:

MommyKristin88 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

petey1106 said:

No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?
so... because of the color of my skin, I shouldn't be qualified to adopt certain children? That doesn't sound racist at all...(eye roll) but of course it couldn't be racism since I'm white and everyone knows you can't be racist towards a white person. :-@ I think you need to take off your rose colored glasses and realize there are a lot of children already in the system from not having enough adoptive people and reducing the amount of people who qualify based on such a superficial thing as skin color is only doing those children more disservice.
Which relates to the other point I brought up. I know there's a shortage of non-white adoptive parents, but why is that? I've been trying to understand why non-whites are less likely to adopt.

There is a shortage of every color adoptive family. That's why orphanages and foster homes exist.

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

Revez said:

Penises are gross.

Vaginas are grosser. Think about it, once a month we bleed uncontrollably, then it just stops. Ewww

MommyKristin88 · February 2014

rooftop said:

MommyKristin88 said:

Which relates to the other point I brought up. I know there's a shortage of non-white adoptive parents, but why is that? I've been trying to understand why non-whites are less likely to adopt.
There is a shortage of every color adoptive family. That's why orphanages and foster homes exist.

I know, but there are definitely more white adoptive families available.

Revez · February 2014

HauntedRadio said:

Revez said:
Penises are gross.
Popular opinion?

I thought it could go either way. So I took a chance.

rooftop · February 2014

MommyKristin88 said:

rooftop said:

MommyKristin88 said:

Which relates to the other point I brought up. I know there's a shortage of non-white adoptive parents, but why is that? I've been trying to understand why non-whites are less likely to adopt.
There is a shortage of every color adoptive family. That's why orphanages and foster homes exist.
I know, but there are definitely more white adoptive families available.

You just answered your own question "Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?".
Knowing that, I'm surprised you are in favor of reducing the child's odds even more just because of their race.

BellaOso · February 2014

The adoption thing hits way too close to home for me to comment on without being ubber defensive, so I will just say this: Every single child on the planet is going to feel they are misunderstood by their parents at some point in time regardless of whether or not their skin matches their parents' skin.

Being a child is hard. They will all experience misunderstanding, prejudice, bullying, etc. and their parents - biological or adopted - should be a soft place to land. It doesn't matter what color hand wipes their tears away, what matters is that someone was there to catch their tears.

I watched a little boy (18 month old, African American) who was adopted at a 12 month old CLING to his white father (a friend of mine,) at a children's party this weekend. That little boy has been through unspeakable horrors and was given up by not only his parents but his extended family as well - he found comfort in the arms of people whose race (white) is incidental to every other wonderful thing about them. He has a long way to go - but he has the parents he needs to thrive.

Now for my UO - I think my toddler is ready to potty train, but I'm not really ready to potty train, oh well, off to buy some Kushies for her tushy.

Edited to correct a typo was/has

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

i dunno...if i were an orphan in another country, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopted me, id be pretty fuckin stoked.

edit because i no longer can speak english or type.

rh10264706 · February 2014

MommyKristin88 said:
The adoption topic reminds me of something I don't like:

I don't think interracial adoptions should be allowed. I think it is doing the child a major disservice for them to be raised by someone that doesn't truly understand what the child will deal with. This relates to racism.

As an African-American there are things I deal with that, say, a Caucasian person does not. I was prepared for these things, mostly, because my mother told me of her experiences and what to look out for. What if I had been raised by someone of a different race? Would they have known what to prepare me for? I especially think about African-American males. The amount of racism and prejudice they still encounter in modern America exceeds what I deal with. Would someone of a different race have been able to prepare them for that?

And, just because I'm curious based on a study I read, has anyone heard of a black family adopting a white child??

Sorry I think that's crazy. My parents adopted my brother, who is Korean. The rest of us are white. I can't even imagine my brother not being in my life and part of our family bc interracial adoptions weren't allowed. I can gaurantee that my brother would say that although sometimes my parents couldn't relate to everything he went through, they have been absolutely amazing parents to him and he would much rather be part of our family, where he belongs, then somewhere else.

BellaOso · February 2014

RoosterMemphis said:

i dunno...if i were an orphan in another country, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopted me, id be pretty fuckin stoked.

edit because i no longer can speak english or type.

Truth. I'd go!

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

joke aside, MH was raised by his black relatives (he is mixed, but with another race entirely), after his mom killed herself. the type of life he could have lived with his very sick mother , i cant even imagine....if his family wasnt there to take him in, i dont know what would have happened to him. all the issues he had growing up, i can assure you, had nothing to do with the colour of his relatives skin.

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

petey1106 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

i dunno...if i were an orphan in another country, and Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopted me, id be pretty fuckin stoked.

edit because i no longer can speak english or type.

And go home Rooster, you're drunk.

i dont drink i aint goin anywhere

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction?

I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Texasmomma13 · February 2014

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction? I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Amen! Or when the woman sits in the middle, next to her husband/boyfriend, in a truck. What are you, 15?

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

Texasmomma13 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction?

I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Amen! Or when the woman sits in the middle, next to her husband/boyfriend, in a truck. What are you, 15?

That just made me giggle. It's only appropriate if you're in a vintage car and you are in vintage times.

Soleil3 · February 2014

People are people are people, we all go through shit.

That is all I've got.

And I love cadbury eggs. to def. Literally.

and because this is hilarious...

Soleil3 · February 2014

BlondieBia21 said:

I do not like cadbury eggs.

ETA- @jamiepahel commented this literally right before me. But I'm not going to erase it because people need to know the truth about these nastttty things!

Y U NO LIKE ANYTHING BLONDERS!!

Revez · February 2014

Texasmomma13 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction?

I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Amen! Or when the woman sits in the middle, next to her husband/boyfriend, in a truck. What are you, 15?

...we do both of these (after we're finished eating) because we're disgusting and love to cuddle.

Soleil3 · February 2014

PUOC- I let my babe play with non toy things. Current favorite is an empty craisen box and a wooden spoon. He also loves chasing after water bottles and throwing around a cheeze it box. Toys shmoise.

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

petey1106 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction?

I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

My H did this one time and I made him move. I told him it made me uncomfortable.

MH did this to me on one of our first couple of dates. I told him the same thing.

I don't need to be that close to an adults face while they eat.

Cosmic+Love · February 2014

Revez said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction? I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Amen! Or when the woman sits in the middle, next to her husband/boyfriend, in a truck. What are you, 15?
...we do both of these (after we're finished eating) because we're disgusting and love to cuddle.

If you love him so much, why don't you marry him?? Oh, wait...

LJUTCMommy · February 2014

@MommyKristin88 I *kind of* get what you're saying. Honestly, I have thought to myself, how do these white families learn how to do black hair for their adopted children? And that is just one thing--I am sure there are many, many more.

LO is biracial (Half Afghan/Half White) and I find myself anxious about making sure she knows her non-American culture. Obviously, she has her father, but is is different being a SE Asian woman than a man.

I do make an effort to know the culture and expose her as much as possible. I learned how to cook the food. I can speak (some of) the language. I know many of the customs and traditions. I would think that white families adopting non-white children would do the same. And, as others already mentioned, it's certainly better to have a family than not, even if they have unique challenges.

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

Soleil3 said:
PUOC- I let my babe play with non toy things. Current favorite is an empty craisen box and a wooden spoon. He also loves chasing after water bottles and throwing around a cheeze it box. Toys shmoise.

THANK YOU! We have more non toys over here than actual toys.

V&G101808 · February 2014

Revez said:

Penises are gross.

So why did you go off and bling up your vajay for a gross pee pee?! lol!!

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

petey1106 said:
Here's another UO. I. HATE. CUDDLING. It's hot and uncomfortable. No thanks. Let's DTD then you can go to your side of the bed and me to mine. Easy peasy.

Are we the same person?

Texasmomma13 · February 2014

RoosterMemphis said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction? I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

Amen! Or when the woman sits in the middle, next to her husband/boyfriend, in a truck. What are you, 15?
That just made me giggle. It's only appropriate if you're in a vintage car and you are in vintage times.

True that

V&G101808 · February 2014

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction? I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

I call it public bus seating... I don't understand it.

BellaOso · February 2014

petey1106 said:

RoosterMemphis said:

Ok- can we just move this UO in another direction? I think it's funny when I see couples by themselves at restaurants sitting next to each other in booths. How do you have a conversation like that? I love my H, but he can sit on his own side.

My H did this one time and I made him move. I told him it made me uncomfortable.

My husband refers to it as my "Billy the Kid Instinct" I have to sit facing the door and at a booth I have to be on the outside. I have no idea why. Nothing have ever happened to me and I didn't realize it was an issue.

RoosterMemphis · February 2014

V&G101808 said:

Revez said:

Penises are gross.

So why did you go off and bling up your vajay for a gross pee pee?! lol!!

OMG can somebody please explain the vajazzling thing to me and why anyone would want to do this? Eta- not piercing. The other vajazzle.

BellaOso · February 2014

petey1106 said:

Here's another UO. I. HATE. CUDDLING. It's hot and uncomfortable. No thanks. Let's DTD then you can go to your side of the bed and me to mine. Easy peasy.

Samesies.

No cuddles. I think I put off a no cuddle vibe though. No one touched me during either pregnancy without asking (I know that happened to some ladies,) and even my friends who are huggers don't try with me. Now my kids? Them I cuddle alll the time. I intentionally give each baby 100 kisses a day.

Revez · February 2014

V&G101808 said:

Revez said:

Penises are gross.

So why did you go off and bling up your vajay for a gross pee pee?! lol!!

It's not him that thinks it's ugly

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