Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
BlondieBia21
member
Re: UO Thursday.
My UO, I don't really like this thread because I SUCK at it. Apparently everything I think is popular. :-w
I think stricter policies should be in place for people purchasing/adopting pets. Educational classes on how to care for them properly, mandatory checkups, surprise in home visit before purchase, income requirements and so on.
I hate an irresponsible pet owner, and I see way too many of them.
I feel like these requirements should apply to taking home your baby!!! I am always surprised at how little thought people put into caring for their child.
I agree with the pet thing also. It makes me sad when people just leave their animals outside and never play with them or engage in any kind of activity. They deserve to be loved and a part of a family.
Or even stricter requirements for adopting puppies. Shelters always have a ton of dogs 1 to 2 years old because people adopt a puppy because it's cute, and then surrender it 6 months later when it gets too big and "is too much to handle."
DITTO to both!!
I've always said some sort of test(s) should be required before you're allowed to conceive a baby... (IQ test anyone?!)
People that live beyond their means annoy the crap out of me. Put down the credit cards and walk away. Don't complain about how you never have any money when you spent it all on dumb, materialistic crap that is going to have little to no value to you in the near future.
It makes me sad when I see very small children walking to school by themselves in the mornings.
I live in a pretty big city and the crime rate isn't the greatest. Also, many of the schools I pass on my way to work are right off of the main highway - so the streets are very very busy with lots of traffic.
I know everyone's situation is different and that unfortunately not all parents can drive their children to school, but at least partner your kid up with a neighbor - some sort of buddy system so the poor kindergartener or first grader isn't walking by himself in the mornings.
FTR: my neighborhood has a walkway that connects directly to the elementary school. Even being that close I fully intend to walk Nicholas to class each morning and pick him up in the afternoons (if we're still living there in 4.5 years).
The adoption topic reminds me of something I don't like:
I don't think interracial adoptions should be allowed. I think it is doing the child a major disservice for them to be raised by someone that doesn't truly understand what the child will deal with. This relates to racism.
As an African-American there are things I deal with that, say, a Caucasian person does not. I was prepared for these things, mostly, because my mother told me of her experiences and what to look out for. What if I had been raised by someone of a different race? Would they have known what to prepare me for? I especially think about African-American males. The amount of racism and prejudice they still encounter in modern America exceeds what I deal with. Would someone of a different race have been able to prepare them for that?
And, just because I'm curious based on a study I read, has anyone heard of a black family adopting a white child??
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
I curious about this too.
However, regarding interracial adoption I'm curious what the statistics are of the various races and how often they adopt.
I would rather allow interracial adoptions to ensure that these children are getting places in good homes versus keeping them in the system in hopes that a family of the same races adopts them.
I know of a lot of interracial adoption cases (personally and through the blogosphere) and I've seen such great family mixes. My cousin for example is Puerto Rican and adopted a black son. I follow a blog that a Midwestern white lady writes and she's adopted 5 (I think) Chinese children. I think it's all about how the adopting family helps the adoptive child accept and incorporate their own background into their new family's lifestyle.
EDIT: I think it's easy to assume that a white family may not know certain things about raising a black child (or any mixture of races, this is only an example). However, wouldn't you prefer them to be in a home where they are loved versus in the system?
Ha! I should totally try that. We even have a king size Tempurpedic and I still want that whole damn thing to myself.
What if an interracial couple (black/white) has a child and the child's father (black) is no longer in the picture?
My LO is mixed. I am white and DH is African. DH didn't grow up in the US so he didn't grow up as a black kid in America. So LO is going to most likely experience thing in his life that neither DH nor I have gone through, should we not be allowed to have him because our lives are different?
That breaks my heart!!
My cousins sons birth parents were abusive. When she adopted him (he was around 2) he was covered in cigarette butt scars/burns. Saddest thing ever.
I originally posted this in the wrong thread. Where the F is the coffee?
This reminds me of the blog I mentioned in my original post. All her Chinese adoptive children have some form of handicap. The majority had clubfeet but the most recent 2 have other handicaps.
https://nihaoyall.com/
And about the interracial adoption thing, I think that's a very superficial way of thinking. I'm sure you are right about race identity issues but, to assume that the adoptive family hasn't prepared for this is arrogant. I had a teacher who adopted a son from Russia and they went above and beyond to teach him about his birth country, including making frequent trips to Russia. Would you have rather had him grow up in an orphanage?
And would you rather have a black child grow up in the system rather than have a stable loving family just because of his race? I also think that's reverse discrimination because if someone would have said black families can't properly care for white kids, this place would be a shit show.
Baby C - 08.23.13
You bring up really good points. Interracial adoptions is definitely much better than the child staying in the system. My opinion is just based on the experiences I am familiar with. One example: I was very saddened to hear one of my friends talk about not being able to identify with her adopted family, because of racial differences. It's sad, but definitely better than the child never being adopted. This topic isn't black and white. There's a large grey area that factors into all of this.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
Engaged 10/2/1202
BFP (a lil quicker than expected) 12/7/2012
Married to my best friend 12/24/2012
Beautiful baby girl arrived 8/15/2013
BFP #2 3/13/2016
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
So what are you saying?
Eta and only black people can adopt black kids, only Indians can adopt Indian kids etc.
I understood that. I just feel like there is some back peddling, so maybe she would like to revise what she said.
Edit I still need coffee
No back pedaling. I just don't understand why everyone is jumping to that the children would just stay in the orphanages? Why is it assumed that they wouldn't be adopted if a person of another race didn't adopt them?
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
ETA: statistical references
Statistics here, and here.
I think I'm misunderstanding you.
I'm saying just because the child isn't adopted by someone of another race, it doesn't mean they won't be adopted. I feel like you all are overlooking that someone of the same race would adopt the child.
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!