I have a very important, never before asked question!

wonkatalia · February 2014

Ok, so that's a complete lie. It's probably been asked a zillion times, but maybe not on this board... recently?

DD1 was born 3 weeks early in August 2010, at the very end of the month. Our school cut off here is September 1. She's a pretty bright kid and her BFF is 4 months older so we went ahead and put her in 3K this year. Well, her teacher had us in for a conference last week and told us that she's concerned that DD1 is not mature enough to move on to K4 next year. She said that as far as intelligence and social skills, she's great and would do beautifully. She even said she was not necessarily suggesting that we hold her back, but she wanted us to consider it.

Her main reason for concern is that when she gives an assignment, say for the kids to color the picture of an angel with her dress blue and wings yellow, DD1 pretty much just colors one spot on the dress over and over, then the same for the wings. She gets the colors correct but she doesn't "acknowledge the empty space indicating that she has spacial recognition" or something like that. Basically, she's saying that because DD1 doesn't color the WHOLE dress blue, it's a sign that she's immature. She then spent the rest of the meeting comparing DD1 to another little girl in the class that is a whole year older, born in August 2009. Why would you compare my 3 year old's work, in K3, to what a 4 year old can do? That's crazy, right?

That just seems like a really silly reason to hold her back. I came on here wondering what the other August/summer moms are doing or think about all that. I think there are a few on here and since the Aug 2010 board has been nixed, I didn't know where else to go. My mom thinks that because she has such a late birthday and was born 3 weeks early, it would be best to just hold her back. I feel like if she's anything like me, she'll be bored. I always excelled when I was given more challenging work and slacked off otherwise. If I make the wrong decision though, I could screw up her whole life!

Also, hey y'all! It's been a while! I've missed you! Does anyone remember me?

Bueller?

[Deleted User] · February 2014

I feel like I'm in some alternate universe.

ASmallWonder · February 2014

Erm..my kid turns four in May (so a few months older than your DD) but he can't color for shit. I mean, your kid has it in spades over my kid and I've been told he's typical. I wouldn't worry about this now - a lot can change by September.

WasNotWas · February 2014

poop on her face. I can pull out some coloring from when I was 5-6 and I can assure you I did not respect this woman's rules about open space. What kind of fascist is she that she is hindering creativity?

Then again, I am a bit immature (see poop on her face)

wonkatalia · February 2014

I feel like I'M in some alternate universe. What has this place become? What are love its? Is this like facebook lite? lol. Thanks for liking me!

Can I love things more than once because I really love the "poop on her face" suggestion.

I'm totally in agreement. Maybe she just doesn't want to color or isn't destined to be an artist. Why does that matter? It was like the flimsiest excuse ever to hold a child back. We're going to reassess closer to the end of the school year (May), but she wouldn't start K4 until next August, when she will be turning 4, so I'm leaning towards moving her up. They're holding a spot for her in both classes though, just in case.

I just wanted to hear thoughts from some objective moms on the subject.

wonkatalia · February 2014

BunkinMama said:

My story is similair, aka I'm relating. V was born 3 weeks early at the end of Aug 07, IUGR, 12 days stay. When she was eligible to start K but could be in preschool for another yr. We discussed with teachers and decided to have her start K. She is academically smart for preschool and K standards and socially mature. If she stayed another year in preschool we felt she would not be challenged and become very bored. It's her personality. Ultimately it is up to you. From what I read you feel she would be ready for k4 at the end of the summer. There is still so much time from now til then and LOs grow so much so fast. As for the coloring thing. To me that is art. Everyone sees art differently and it is a form of expression. V did not color like her classmates and she was concerned she wasn't as good as them. We talked with her that her art and coloring is from her and her alone and she doesn't need to be like everyone else. That her own style is what made it so beautiful.

Oh, this is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you so much!

Pips09 · February 2014

I wouldn't hold her back based on that description. That seems like she is really reaching for a reason. My daughter was also born early, moving her school year up, and I wouldn't hold her back for that reason.

wonkatalia · February 2014

I agree, @cmeon_the_water. My mom started in on the increasing number of kids being held back in order to make them more successful in the younger grades (smartest/biggest kid because they're the oldest) and that it's an opportunity we should take advantage of. That just doesn't seem right to me...then DD1 would be the one making the younger kids feel inadequate and immature because she's a whole year older.

Dude. Parenting is hard.

RayRay007 · February 2014

My kid's only 2 and I don't plan on putting her in preschool, so take my advice for what you will. I think that is a really strange and poor excuse for holding her back. She's still following instructions, isn't she? And, it's only Feb. And, comparing her to a 4 year old is not helpful at all. Re-evaluate in the spring, but I'd be inclined to move her up. I was one of those bored kids and I started Kindergarten relatively young at 4.5. If I was 5.5 I'd have been an awful student.

EVA116 · February 2014

My kid is three and there is no way she is coloring the whole dress. My kid gets so bored with coloring. Plus she loves to color what she likes and I have never worked on coloring certain things certain colors....maybe I should.

I would not hold her back based on that at all.

wonkatalia · February 2014

Oh my gosh, @cmeon_the_water! You are awesome. Thank you so much for that link!!!

RondackHiker · February 2014

My kid is three and doesn't always color the whole dress. Or if he does, he colors the WHOLE dress and the space six inches around the dress so furiously that you can't actually see what is under the massive patch of blue.

It's moving her up to another year of preschool. I bet she'll be just fine. Coloring is a dumb reason to hold her back.

When my sister was in kindergarten, the teacher said she had listening issues and couldn't follow directions and may need to stay behind and used her artwork as an example. The project involved attaching two sleeves to a rain coat (made out f construction paper). My sister was upset because she wanted a pink coat with purple sleeves and the teacher said they all had to be the same color and that no rain coats had different sleeves. My sister glued on the sleeves and said her coat did.

My mom did not let them hold her back.

wonkatalia · February 2014

@RondackHiker, I love it! Good for your mom. That teacher sounds like a nut.

Also, I don't think I've been here since you got KU and now you're about to pop! Congrats!

virgin4lyfe · February 2014

Do you think maybe there's other reasons she wants her held back other than coloring that she's not saying? I don't understand exactly how one can say she doesn't have spatial recognition based on coloring.
Then again I'm still in study to be a teacher and maybe I haven't yet been informed of how colors magically show spatial reasoning or not.

wonkatalia · February 2014

She said that because DD1 doesn't see that there is still white space on the dress that needs to be colored, she's not showing spatial reasoning or the level that she should be at maybe?

She did also say that DD1 isn't great at following directions, but you know, she's 3.

kat8805 · February 2014

Our DD1 is the same age, born nearly 2 weeks early. She's not in preschool right now, but will be next year, and we intend for her to be in k the year after. I hate when they relate kids on things like coloring. My kid colors in the lines already, and gets frustrated with herself if she goes out of them. Every kid is different because every kid already has preferences and likes. Mine loves coloring... Everything, toys included sadly. Maybe yours is a wizz at counting. To each their own. I don't think its fair to hold them back at all. Sometimes it takes a little push for some to "get on level" with the rest.

On the longterm scale of it, my sister turned 16 Nov 14th, the kid across the street is a week older than her, and the kid next door is 6 months older. The boy a week older is a grade below my sister and the other boy. He's just as sweet, kind and mature as the other two. Maybe right now holding back makes sense, but it seems hard to put them back in their age group.

Maybe a second opinion is in order.

wonkatalia · February 2014

@Fredalina, I think they just want to go ahead and get her in the class she'll be in since most of these kids stick together through to elementary school and beyond.

My husband isn't inclined to even entertain the notion of holding her back at this point and, especially after reading that article and what the rest of you have to say, I think I agree with him.

wonkatalia · February 2014

Wow. When you put it that way.

This thread has made the decision much easier. And that's what my gut was telling me too.

wiggyslilsis · February 2014

Wow @rondackhiker talk about suppressing creativity. That is ridiculous. I think it would have been awesome if someone could have found her a raincoat that had different colored sleeves so she could be like see they do make them...its called fashion!

OP it seems like she is reaching for an excuse and doing it really early on. You still have lots of time to make your decision but unless there was more to go on I wouldn't hold her back.

wonkatalia · February 2014

That's absolutely genius. I wonder if she'll go for it...That would be an incredible gift.

wiggyslilsis · February 2014

Woah @fredalina you just blew my mind with the loss of a year of salary stuff and I think your plan makes a lot of sense. Definitely going to consider that now to help her out.

RondackHiker · February 2014

wonkatalia said:
She said that because DD1 doesn't see that there is still white space on the dress that needs to be colored, she's not showing spatial reasoning or the level that she should be at maybe?

She did also say that DD1 isn't great at following directions, but you know, she's 3.

Perhaps DD is bored of coloring and sees the white space but figures she's followed directions and it's good enough. Or she takes longer to color and just doesn't have time to finish. Or she likes the look of a spot of color on the dress rather than a solid dress. Or the teacher didn't say "color the WHOLE dress" so she doesn't realize she's "missing" part of it.

BlueRidge8 · February 2014

Crap, Adair just smooshes playdoh all over her coloring sheets

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